sleep in your heart

You Zeyi felt dizzy all over, he couldn't see himself and the world clearly.Regarding the issue of sexual orientation, he has not yet reached a conclusion, but others have labeled him just because of a photo, and the surroundings are full of ridicule.

He never felt that homosexuality was something worthy of repeated ridicule. Whether he liked the same sex or not, he didn't feel that liking the same sex was shameful and could be discriminated against.

Homosexuality is not a disease, and I have never done anything harmful. Love has nothing to do with gender, as long as it happens, it is beautiful.

However, it is clear that most people in this society do not think so.

Countless people have equated the word "homosexual" with "pervert". Thinking about how those people in the dormitory usually ridicule Ning Lu behind their backs, you can think of what they are talking about at this moment where he can't see Such words.

You Zeyi walked in front of Zhou Tong and left the Internet cafe. He said he wanted to blow some air, but in this weather, there was no wind blowing.

There was no wind, but the rumor spread everywhere.

Zhou Tong asked him, "Are you thirsty? I'll go buy water."

You Zeyi shook his head and asked him, "Do you know how to smoke?"

It is said that getting drunk can solve a thousand worries, but You Zeyi dare not drink, fearing that he will not be able to hold alcohol enough and it will be more troublesome after drinking.

No alcohol, no smoking.

"Ah? I don't smoke." Zhou Tong scratched his hair and sighed irritably, "Old You, don't do this, whoever said that, go your own way and let others talk nonsense."

You Zeyi looked down at his own shadow and said, "I just don't understand."

"not understand?"

"Yeah." You Ze turned his head and looked at Zhou Tong against the light, "Who did homosexuality provoke? Why is everyone screaming and beating? Why can anyone step on their feet? Isn't it agreed that all beings are equal? What about equality?"

Zhou Tong frowned at him for a long time, and finally said, "Stupid, how can all beings be equal."

Ever since his mother passed away, You Zeyi thought that he was not afraid of anything, but only now did he realize that the reason why he thought that way was because there were no more terrible things happening at that time.

When the school forum spread the news that he was gay, his inner fears piled up layer by layer. First, he was afraid of being known by Zheng Zhi, and then he was afraid of being viewed in a different way by the people around him. Finally, it was dark , He began to be afraid of going back to the dormitory, he was afraid to hear those roommates treat him with the same attitude they had treated Ning Lu before.

Although he knows that he has done nothing wrong, and even he is not sure that he is really gay so far, he is still afraid that this world makes him feel as if he is in hell, surrounded by attempts to torture him to death of demons and ghosts.

Only Zhou Tong was with him and protected him.

Zhou Tong could tell that You Zeyi didn't want to go back to the dormitory, so he didn't urge or persuade him, and just sat on the edge of the playground with his preoccupied good friend in a daze.

You Zeyi said, "Aren't you curious about this?"

From the very beginning Zhou Tong didn't ask any more questions, instead he kept comforting and encouraging him, it was impossible for You Zeyi not to be moved, he never thought that Zhou Tong would be such a loyal person.

"Curiosity," Zhou Tong said frankly, "but if you don't want to say it, I won't ask. As a good brother, if you support you, it's over."

You Ze tilted his head and looked at him for a long time, and finally showed a smile.

"I really don't know if I am," You Zeyi said, "I've never thought about this issue before. I went to the library to return books that day, and I saw that boy on the way back. I think he is very brave, not everyone He can stand up and tell others that he is gay, he just wants to seek approval, so he opened his arms and waited for a hug, but before me, no one passed, I feel sad."

Zhou Tong was silent for a while after listening, and asked: "So, you are not?"

"...I don't know." You Zeyi began to struggle again, "Maybe, maybe not."

"Ah? Yes, yes, no, no, what do you mean? Do you have someone you like?"

When asked this question, You Zeyi immediately thought of Zheng Zhi.

He remembered the first time he saw Zheng Zhi, the man with yellow hair appeared at the door of the classroom, he remembered that night, he went to the pharmacy with a fever, and when he met that man, the other party only regarded him as a stranger, and he remembered those two people who were head-to-head The evening self-study with the head lecturing and the night when lying side by side on Zheng Zhi's bed with rapid heartbeat and insomnia.

They haven't known each other for long, but they seem to have experienced a lot together.

However, when You Ze thought about it, these stories were only unilaterally written into my own diary, leaving no trace in Zheng Zhi's place.

"Probably." You Zeyi replied Zhou Tong, "I'm not sure if I like it."

Zhou Tong shut his mouth, because when he looked at You Zeyi and heard him say this, a thought suddenly popped up in his mind, he didn't dare to ask, it would be troublesome if he asked.

Usually jokes are jokes, but if it is true, Zhou Tong thinks it may not be a good thing.

"Old You, no matter what, if you encounter trouble, you can come to me, and don't let anyone bully you."

You Zeyi laughed again, bowed his head and said softly, "Zhou Tong, thank you very much."

When You Ze arrived in class in the morning, there were not many people in the classroom.

The night before, he lingered until one minute before the door of the dormitory building was locked before going back with Zhou Tong. After returning, he went directly to the study room, where he slept on his stomach all night.

He didn't sleep well, and had several intermittent dreams, none of which made him feel relieved.

In order to avoid meeting those people in the morning, he went back early, took his things and washed them lightly, and after tidying up, he left the dormitory before his roommates got up.

After eating breakfast, I arrived at the classroom four or ten minutes earlier than usual.

He didn't expect that when he went, Zheng Zhi was already there.

You Ze came in one by one and saw Zheng Zhi who just moved the book to the new seat, the two looked at each other, Zheng Zhi hesitated to speak.

The relationship between the two of them was a bit delicate before, but now You Zeyi feels uncomfortable whenever he thinks that Zheng Zhi also read the post on that forum, he always feels that his liking for each other has been completely exposed.

You Zeyi never expected that Zheng Zhi would have any feelings for him. Everyone said that first love was fruitless, so he waited for the day when this undeserved feeling faded over time.

He didn't dare and didn't want Zheng Zhi to know, now that it's all over, it's very likely that people have guessed it all, in case Zheng Zhi feels sick...

You Ze was annoyed, and quickly looked away. From that moment on, not only did he not dare to talk to Zheng Zhi, he even dared not look directly at him.

He is careful every moment, afraid of attracting the disgust of the other party and the ridicule of the people around him.

He knew that he had done nothing wrong, but he still couldn't let the fear go away.

In the next few days, although You Zeyi tried his best to focus on studying and not to listen to the gossip outside, every time he went to the toilet, he would still be anxious by those strange gazes.

One time during class break, he went to the toilet, and as soon as he stood in front of the urinal, he heard two boys beside him joking.

One said: "Hey, you said that the woman in the gay scene has to squat to pee?"

Another said: "I'm not gay, how would I know, why don't you ask who?"

You Ze gritted his teeth and didn't say a word. He went out after washing his hands after going to the toilet, but before he could go out, he was stopped by someone.

It was one of the two boys chatting just now, and the boy asked him with a playful smile, "Let me ask you, are you the gay boy or the girl?"

You Ze frowned, and pushed the other away irritably.

The man was still reluctant: "Oh, I'm still angry, bah!"

Another boy came over and pushed You Zeyi and said, "You really should put a sign on the door saying that homosexuals are not allowed to enter. Everyone stands up and pees together. Who knows what nasty things are thinking in your mind!"

The anger in You Zeyi's heart completely flared up, he turned his head and said to the boy, "You think too much, even if I'm gay, I would feel disgusted if I look at guys like you more than once."

As soon as he finished speaking, he was pushed to the ground by two people.

You Zeyi had never fought before, let alone a one-on-one fight. He huddled on the floor of the toilet, covered his head, and endured insults and punches.

This scene happened to be seen by Ning Lu who came in through the door. Ning Lu panicked, and his first reaction was to run out to class 13 for help.He recognized the two boys who were playing the game, they were well-known gangsters in the school, and going up rashly by himself would only add to the chaos.

"Zhou Tong! Zheng Zhi!" Regardless of whether anyone was watching him, Ning Lu stood directly at the door of Class 13 and shouted at those two people.

Zhou Tong was playing backgammon with pen and paper at the same table, when he heard the voice and looked towards the door, Zheng Zhi also raised his head from the exercise book.

When the people in the class saw Ning Lu, they started discussing immediately, but Ning Lu didn't care so much, and shouted at Zhou Tong: "You Zeyi was beaten!"

When Zhou Tong and Zheng Zhi ran to the toilet, the bell rang for class, everyone in the toilet had almost left, and the two guys who beat them were gone. You Zeyi was washing his face, and the corners of his mouth were swollen.

Zheng Zhi frowned at him, and asked in a cold voice, "Who the hell did it?"

You Zeyi didn't speak, Ning Lu quickly replied: "Meng Jiang and Wu Haoming from Class 9."

"Fuck, I knew it was these two bastards." Zhou Tong clenched his fist and said to You Zeyi: "Old You, it's okay, you wait for my buddy to vent your anger on you."

You Ze waved his hand: "No need."

After he finished speaking, he looked at Zheng Zhi.

Zheng Zhi stared at him closely, his brows furrowed as if they could no longer be stretched.

You Zeyi didn't know if he was wrong, or if he was thinking too much, he felt that he could see the burning anger in Zheng Zhi's eyes at this moment.

"You Zeyi, are you okay?" Ning Lu looked over worriedly, "It's swollen, does it hurt?"

You Ze shook his head and said, "Fortunately, class is over, let's all go back."

Ning Lu glanced at You Zeyi worriedly, and then ran back to the classroom by himself. The remaining three walked to Class 13 with their own concerns. Pulling behind him, he stepped forward and knocked on the door.

The teacher turned his head and saw Zheng Zhi, and saw Zhou Tong and You Zeyi standing behind him, waved helplessly and said: "Hurry up and go back, if you have to do something after class, come back and sit down before the bell!"