sleep in your heart

The smell in the classroom was a bit strange, it was already autumn, and the sky was bright and clear outside, but You Zeyi still felt uncomfortable, just like during the hottest time of summer, he had difficulty breathing, and his nose was filled with the smell of sweat, which made him feel uncomfortable. He was upset and flustered.

Sitting in the classroom, sitting beside Zheng Zhi with a straight face, You Ze raised his hand and touched the corner of his swollen mouth.

He glanced at Zheng Zhi's hands on the table, one hand was clenched all the time, the other hand was holding a pen, the pen tip was scratching vigorously on the page, leaving a deep scratch.

What the teacher was talking about, You Zeyi couldn't listen at all, his mind was in a mess, for a while it was what those people whispered in his ears just now, for a while it was the fists and feet that fell on him, and for a while it was Zheng Zhi's wrinkling Frowning face.

He finally discovered that it is really difficult for a person to live in peace. Everyone can solve a case by catching wind and shadow, and then open their own small court to try the so-called "criminals".

But did the "prisoner" they called really do something wrong?

You Zeyi feels uncomfortable, no matter whether he likes homosexuals himself or not, he doesn't think homosexuality is an unforgivable sin.

But obviously, most people in this world don't think so.

He was in a daze until he heard the teacher call Zheng Zhi's name.

Zheng Zhi was also taken aback, and then stood up, but he could only say embarrassingly, "I won't."

You Ze looked up at him, Zheng Zhi just looked down at the table, waited for the teacher to give him a few words of displeasure and told him to pay attention to the lecture, sat down again, and continued to stare at the open pages.

You Zeyi didn't know what Zheng Zhi was thinking, but he knew that it must have something to do with him. Seeing Zheng Zhi's absence, You Zeyi fell into deep self-blame.

Until school was over, Zheng Zhi didn't say a word. During the break of a certain class, Zhou Tong ran over to You Zeyi and told You Zeyi that he wanted to find those two people, fight and vent his anger on You Zeyi.

Although You Zeyi is not a lamb to be slaughtered, he doesn't like to use violence to control violence, not to mention, the reasons why those two people troubled him made him unwilling to mention it again.

He rejected Zhou Tong's proposal, convincing the other party to think that this matter is over.

After school in the evening, Zhou Tong came and waited for You Zeyi to leave together. Zheng Zhi glanced at them, left without saying a word.

"What's the matter with him?" Zhou Tong felt strange, "something has gone wrong recently, are you two still fighting?"

"No." You Zeyi also wanted to know what happened to Zheng Zhi, but he didn't even dare to ask.

After leaving the classroom, You Zeyi saw the two boys who were bothering him before. They still had provocative eyes. Zhou Tong wanted to step forward, but You Zeyi dragged him away quickly. .

"What are you doing?" Zhou Tong was puzzled, "Are you just so angry? Let me tell you, just these people, if you put up with it once, they will bully you again next time!"

You Zeyi was in a bad mood, knowing that Zhou Tong wanted to help him, but he was afraid.

Whether it is the fear of fighting with others or the fear of being constantly called gay, You Zeyi is not sure, he is just panicked, and the only thing he wants to do is to escape.

It's like he is avoiding his liking for Zheng Zhi.

When Zheng Zhi arrived at the gate of Class 9, he grabbed a person and asked, and was told that Meng Jiang and Wu Haoming had already left. He took a look into the classroom and left with a cold face.

When sitting in the back seat of his father's car, Zheng Zhi was still depressed, turned his head and looked out the window, unable to vent his anger.

"Yo, who messed with my son again?"

Zheng Zhi didn't speak, and kept looking outside, as if he wanted to find out the two people he didn't know from the crowd immediately.

Zheng Zhi's father saw that he didn't say a word, and knew what his son's bad temper was like, so he didn't ask any more questions, and slowly watched the car go home.

Zheng Zhi was restless all night. He knew who You Zeyi was, and he would never cause trouble outside casually. Zheng Zhi didn't know the two people who bullied him, but according to what Ning Lu meant, it was definitely not What a stubble.

Zheng Zhi is also aware of the rumors that have been raging in the school these days. He accidentally saw a post about You Zeyi that day, and he was immediately angry.

At that time, he didn't have time to think about the reason why You Zeyi embraced that gay, and he didn't have time to think about whether You Zeyi was just out of kindness or whether he was really gay. Malice all over the world.

From Zheng Zhi's point of view, You Zeyi is a bit stupid, seems to have a lot of things on his mind, but he is always working hard.

Before meeting You Zeyi, Zheng Zhi's eyes would not look at anyone who had nothing to do with him. How other people's grades are and how other people's lives are has nothing to do with him, but when facing You Zeyi, he always thinks, I want to help him.

Even Zheng Zhi once thought that it would be great if the two could go to the same university.

Of course, he also understands that this kind of thinking is simply a dream.

As for the reason for the initiation of this idea, he can more or less understand it, but he doesn't want to think about it for the time being.

This time, those people pushed a person who was struggling to live in a corner to the forefront, and Zheng Zhi felt that it bothered him more than getting himself into trouble.

Originally, he wanted to chat with You Zeyi, but he didn't know how to speak. During this period of time, the two of them had been in a delicate state, with very little talking and almost no communication. The reason was nothing more than that he couldn't understand or see Open, I don't know what kind of existence You Ze is to me.

But no matter what kind of existence he is, Zheng Zhi doesn't want to see him sad.

Therefore, when Zheng Zhi heard Ning Lu calling him and Zhou Tong at the door, saying that You Zeyi was being bullied, he immediately dropped the pen in his hand and rushed out of the classroom.

Zheng Zhi seldom does impulsive things for others, but he thought about it all day, he just wanted to teach those two people who wronged You Zeyi a good lesson.

In the class, he didn't even dare to look at the injured corner of You Zeyi's mouth, it would only make him more angry. From the incident to the end of school, Zheng Zhi never said a word, nor did he calm down to study, he thought He wanted to find those two dogs, and it was best to keep them away from You Zeyi from now on.

Zheng Zhi originally wanted to accompany You Ze back to the dormitory, and then go to those two guys by himself, but he was worried that the two would have left by then.

Fortunately, Zhou Tong came over as soon as he rang the bell. Zheng Zhi saw that he was there, so he went straight to Class 9 classroom with peace of mind.

However, he still didn't catch those two people. He was one step too late, and they had already left.

Let's go now, Zheng Zhi thought, we will meet again sooner or later.

Lying on the bed late at night and unable to sleep, Zheng Zhi stared at the ceiling. In fact, he didn't need to think about it at all. He had a different thought about You Ze, that's for sure, but, after all, this thought was allowed to develop freely. Or kill it quickly, Zheng Zhi hesitated.

If the girl he likes is a girl, he doesn't need to think about these issues at all, but no, what he likes is a same-sex person with the same body structure as himself, who looks stupid and stupid, and always treats everyone around him carefully Things are like a little rabbit who is afraid of the world after being frightened.

This feeling did not come at the right time, and the person was not the best candidate, but it just happened, and the top students fell into a difficult puzzle.

You Zeyi had a nightmare, in which everyone was spitting on him, calling him a damn gay.

He wanted to run away in his dream, but his feet seemed to be stuck to something, and he couldn't even lift them up, so he could only let those people attack him in various ways.

He wanted to refute, to tell those people that there was nothing wrong with being gay, but he opened his mouth wide, but couldn't even utter a single syllable.

That sense of powerlessness was like knowing that my mother was suffering from cancer, and there was nothing I could do. I could only sink to the bottom of the sea little by little, and be swallowed by nightmares little by little.

He woke up in the early five o'clock, and raised his hand to wipe his forehead, which was covered in sweat.

Sitting up from the bed, the T-shirt that was used as pajamas was also sticky to the body, which was very uncomfortable.

He looked around, at his sleeping roommates, feeling even worse.

He went to bed early last night because he didn't want to have any confrontation with them. Not long after he lay down, those people started chatting.

Maybe they thought he was asleep, or maybe they told him on purpose, but it was nothing more than those gossips tinged with ridicule and disgust, from Ning Lu to him, from being disgusted by homosexuality to worrying that he would be taken advantage of by disgusting homosexuals.

One of the boys said, "Could it be that he peeks at us when we change clothes?"

Another chimed in: "Fuck, maybe you're still watching us masturbate."

You Zeyi was so stimulated by these words that he trembled all over. He pressed his forehead against the wall, biting his lips and trying not to make a sound.

He couldn't go down and argue with those people, because he still had to live in this dormitory. What's more, if there was a real disturbance, it was hard to guarantee that the dormitory management and teachers would not be disturbed. It's even more sinful.

You Zeyi felt that life was too difficult, he originally wanted nothing, but the monsters never let him off.

He got off the bed, tried not to wake others up, and went out after a brief tidying up.

In the school playground in the early morning, the air is so good that people think it is a new heaven and a new earth, a brand new world, but he understands that after an hour, this clean world will become dirty again, overcrowded, and become a hell.

When he was walking on the way to the classroom, he suddenly remembered a sentence from Sartre: Hell is other people.

You Ze smiled, passing by the classroom window, he stopped and looked inside, looked at the empty room, at his and Zheng Zhi's seats, at the open book on Zheng Zhi's desk.

Then, I saw my own shadow reflected on the glass window.

He found himself helpless to everything in front of him, the only thing he could do was to endure it.

People are forgetful, sooner or later they will forget the rumors about him, sooner or later they will forget him, as long as he endures, he will not cause any trouble to anyone.

The author has something to say: I just swiped and saw several girls who were thrown into mine, thank you everyone.

But don’t need to spend too much money. I already knew that this article must be very cold when I wrote it, so I don’t have any expectations for the benefits. I just want to finish this story. If someone has the patience to read it, probably will Understand the purpose of my writing it.

Such a slow and not sweet and lovely article, you are very grateful for reading it all the way, and I bow to everyone manually.