sleep in your heart

You Zeyi remembers that his former teacher always said that studying is like a long-distance race. The most important thing in the early stage is to keep your pace. You can’t lose your footing just because you fall behind for a while, and you can’t quit halfway. Before you reach the end, no one knows the final sprint. Who will win the first place at the time.

But although many principles are understood, it is very difficult to implement.

In the first monthly exam, You Zeyi was frustrated and frustrated, and blamed himself for a long time. After a month passed, he sat in the exam room again, still feeling uneasy.

This time, there was no Zheng Zhi in the seat obliquely in front of him, and Zhou Tong was no longer sitting in the seat by the door.

Both of them were in the top of their grades and were assigned to the first examination room, while he, who was in the forties in his class, was also at the lower level in the whole grade.

You Zeyi wanted to go back to the examination room with Zheng Zhi, but they were too far away, like two planets that could never meet again, there was no possibility between them.

The gap between people makes You Zeyi feel desperate, and he begins to believe that he and Zheng Zhi are not from the same world.

During the few days of the exam, You Zeyi's heart was hanging and he couldn't get over it. Similarly, Zheng Zhi was not much better.

Zheng Zhi, who was sitting in the first examination room, had to go around to the examination room at the back every time he handed in the test papers. When he passed the examination room by You Zeyi, he was too embarrassed to look inside, so he could only walk quickly and stand at the back door look in.

Like a thief, I don't know what to be afraid of.

On the third day of the monthly exam, there was only one exam in the morning. After the exam, Zhou Tong took Zheng Zhi and waited for him on the first floor.

"What are you doing again?"

"It's my birthday today, my brother treats you to dinner." Zhou Tong craned his neck to look towards the stairs, and waved vigorously as soon as he saw You Zeyi, just like a person picking up a plane at the airport.

You Zeyi squeezed through the crowd, frowned and asked, "Where are you waiting for me?"

"Isn't that right!" Zhou Tong put his arm around You Zeyi's neck, "Take you to eat delicious food."

The three of them walked outside, and You Ze secretly glanced at Zheng Zhi from time to time, but Zheng Zhi seemed unconscious.

"What are you eating?" You Zeyi was not interested in eating with Zhou Tong, but it would be different if there was an extra Zheng Zhi.

Zhou Tongshen approached You Zeyi's ear mysteriously: "Deluxe version, Malatang!"

As soon as You Ze was about to laugh at him, he heard someone calling Zheng Zhi's name.

The three of them watched the sound together, and then You Zeyi felt as if he was a drowning person, sinking to the bottom of the sea bit by bit.

Zheng Zhi was also very surprised to see He Ye, first he glanced nervously at You Zeyi, and then at the girl standing beside the leading exercise platform in front of the building.

He Ye waved to him, then tilted his head slightly and kept smiling at him.

Zhou Tong complained: "Okay, Lao Zheng, girlfriend!"

The three words "girlfriend" hurt You Ze's heart. He lowered his head and said nothing, but he couldn't help but want to see that girl more.

This is the girl he met at the school gate a while ago, and she is also the only opposite sex around Zheng Zhi. In You Zeyi's heart, this is Zheng Zhi's girlfriend.

Zheng Zhi frowned, went down the steps, and walked up to He Ye.

"Why are you here?" Zheng Zhi was puzzled.

He Ye was already beautiful, but when she went to college, she dressed up differently from those high school students in school uniforms. She raised her hand and brushed her curly, wavy, dyed hair and said, "It's a holiday on October [-]. Came back two days early."

She glanced at Zhou Tong and You Zeyi who came over, and greeted them with a smile: "Hi, I'm Zheng Zhi's former classmate."

Seeing the beautiful girl, Zhou Tong immediately smiled, greeted people very actively, and even invited them to have dinner with him.

You Zeyi bumped Zhou Tong with his elbow in embarrassment: "A Malatang, would you mind asking him..."

"If a beautiful woman comes, it must not be Malatang!" Zhou Tong asked obsequiously, "What do beautiful women like to eat? Today is my birthday, you have the final say."

He Ye was amused by him, and said embarrassingly: "If I had known you would have an appointment today, I wouldn't have come, and now it's making a fuss as if I'm just here to grab a meal."

"Where is this saying! It's my honor for a beautiful woman to show her face to eat with me!" Zhou Tong patted Zheng Zhi again: "Why are you standing there in a daze! Let's go, don't let the beautiful woman starve to death!"

He Ye looked at Zheng Zhi, was taken aback for a moment, then turned around and said to Zhou Tong with some embarrassment: "It's no big deal, you guys go ahead, I have other things to do later, we will meet again when we have a chance."

After He Ye finished speaking, he pointed in another direction: "I'm going to go through the door over there, so I won't delay your meal."

She looked at Zheng Zhi and said in a low voice, "I'm sorry, I don't know..."

"It's okay," Zheng Zhi finally said, "How about we go together."

He Ye forced a smile: "It's really not, I have something else to do, see you another day."

Zhou Tong still wants to stay, but He Ye has already left.

"...Old Zheng, I don't think you are kind." Zhou Tong was a little bit sorry, he felt that this girl could kill all the beauties he had known before, she was good-looking, her temperament was good, and her voice was nice, she was simply a fairy.

In just a few minutes, Zhou Tong suddenly understood how Duan Yu felt when he met Wang Yuyan back then, what a wonderful word.

"Okay, don't watch." Zheng Zhi blocked Zhou Tong's sight and looked at the time, "If you don't leave, I'll go home."

"Let's go, let's go," Zhou Tong sighed, "Old Zheng, you are really..."

You Zeyi didn't make a sound all the time, thinking about what happened just now, he suddenly felt that the relationship between Zheng Zhi and that girl was a bit subtle, it seemed that they were not a simple couple.

His mind was in a mess, and he scolded himself: It has nothing to do with you, even if that girl is not his girlfriend, she can't be with you.

When walking out, You Zeyi suddenly thought: If I were a girl, would he like me?

A question has troubled You Zeyi for a long time.

After the monthly exam, there was the November holiday. You Zeyi went back to his aunt's house. Although he only had three days to rest, he still obediently stayed at home doing the questions.

The results of this monthly exam haven't come out yet, but he thinks it will be better than last time at least.

It's October, and the sweltering heat at the beginning of school is gone. Except for the shortness of breath when thinking of Zheng Zhi, You Zeyi feels that everything is much more comfortable.

At noon, the aunt's family went out to meet their in-laws, and they asked him to go with them, but You Zeyi refused.

After all, this is someone else's family business, and it's better for me to be honest and take care of the house.

He did a set of mock questions and felt a little tired, so he fell on the sofa and prepared to sleep.

The windows of the front and back balconies were all open, and the cross wind made him feel very comfortable. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to sink down. Between sleep and sleep, he had a dream.

In the dream it was Zheng Zhi, kissing him in a strange room.

You Zeyi clearly knew that this was a dream, but he was still in the dream and didn't want to wake up.

In the dream, two young men were kissing heartily, and Zheng Zhi's hand was caressing behind his back. It stands to reason that it was just a dream, and he shouldn't have a real touch, but when You Ze woke up, he felt numb all over, and It seemed that he had really done something shameful with someone.

He lay on the sofa panting heavily, and raised his hand to wipe the sweat off his face.

At the age of 19, in the dream, he secretly liked someone. When he woke up from the dream, Yu Wen was still there, but that person never appeared.

You Zeyi sat up from the sofa, looked down at the part of himself that had reacted, feeling ashamed and anxious, he rubbed his painful forehead vigorously, feeling that there was no cure for him.

Zheng Zhi didn't have any arrangements for the three-day vacation, and his parents went out for a trip again, leaving him a poor repeat student at home, and before leaving, they said: "Go out and have fun when you have nothing to do, don't stay at home all the time. "

His parents are always afraid that he is under too much pressure, but they don't know that Zheng Zhi is fine when he is at home, and he feels more pressure when he goes out to meet his former classmates.

On the last afternoon of the holiday, Zheng Zhi was lying on the bed listening to music.

He turned his head and saw the pillow that was put aside, and suddenly remembered that the pillow hadn't been put away since You Zeyi came to live last time.

Thinking of You Zeyi, Zheng Zhi was in a daze again.

He didn't know how many songs were in the MP3, he sat up suddenly, tidied up, and left the house.

Zheng Zhi stepped on the thin fallen leaves and walked towards Shitu, with a single song looping in his ears, singing about the entanglement of wanting to love but not being able to love.

When he arrived at the city map, he went straight to the credit card machine for borrowing books.

Put your library card on the top, select "Past Borrowed Books", and a row of book titles appears in front of you.

Zheng Zhi stared at the titles of the few books he had never seen before, and his heart seemed to be jumping out.

Zheng Zhi even forgot about the three bibliographies on homosexuality in the blink of an eye. He pointed to them, and the screen displayed the borrowing date and return date.

He wrote down the titles of these books, took his library card, turned and walked to the borrowing area.

It was easy to find these three books, and he clearly remembered the placement shown on the screen just now.

Zheng Zhi took out the book, and suddenly remembered that when You Zeyi said nothing to let him read the books he borrowed here that night, it turned out that it was because of this.

He left the library with these three books. On the way back, he felt that the autumn sun was a bit dazzling.

At the age of eighteen or nineteen, he had already passed the time of sexual awakening, but Zheng Zhi felt strange why he had never had such feelings for a boy before, except for You Zeyi.

Zheng Zhi felt a headache, so he read the book after returning home, but after reading three books, he still couldn't find an answer for himself.

He still doesn't know what's going on with You Zeyi, and also doesn't know if the other party always looks shy towards him because he has a ghost in his heart.

There were too many things he couldn't understand, so he simply didn't think about it.

Zheng Zhi lay on the bed, his mind was in a mess for a long time, and finally figured out that no matter what, now is not the time to be distracted by such things. He has to fight his back, and the only thing he should take seriously is next year's college entrance examination.

As for the rest, let’s talk about it later, anyway, the future is long.