under the filth

Eisen was silent for a long time, not knowing how to answer Tang Cen to make him believe his sincerity.

He vaguely guessed what Tang Cen was thinking, but he didn't want to develop their relationship in this way.If he did this, Tang Cen would feel that his approach was intentional for the rest of his life, but if he didn't, Tang Cen would get farther and farther away from him after tonight.

"If I tell you, can you try to accept me?" Asking first before answering questions, Aisen knew it was shameless to do so, but only in this way would Tang Cen stay away from him.

He can walk 99 and a half steps, but if Tang Cen backs down at the last moment, it won't help if he walks the remaining half step.

"Yes." Tang Cen gritted his teeth and agreed, "But if you regret it, leave now."

"No, I won't go." Eisen put his hands on Tang Cen's face, wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes with his thumbs, and whispered against his forehead: "My plan is only you, only you."

Tang Cen's eyes widened in astonishment, before he could say anything, he heard Eisen's voice mixed with sighs.

He said: "But when I fell in love with you, you were already with Lu Sheng. I didn't want to disturb you, so I never appeared in front of you."

In the year of enrollment, Tang Cen stood on the stage of the welcome party as a representative of the college to speak. The lights shone on him, and his whole body exuded a dazzling light.Eisen sat under the stage, his eyes followed Tang Cen's elegant and calm figure, from the stage to the audience, until he returned to his seat and looked at Lu Sheng with a smile, then Eisen withdrew his gaze.

Like Tang Cen, it probably started from that time, those eyes like black pearls, shining brightly under the spotlight, Eisen sank deeply into them just looking at them from a distance.

But in the final analysis, it is just ignorant longing, not love.

When exactly did his feelings for Tang Cen change from liking to love, Eisen himself didn't know, maybe he saw Tang Cen's dazed figure wandering in front of the hospital on the street in the city center, and it came out from his bones The loneliness made him unable to help but want to lean over.

However, Tang Cen already had Lu Sheng by his side at that time. As a junior who was neither relative nor relative, what kind of identity should he stand by his side?

Regardless of whether he deliberately showed it or it was true, from Eisen's point of view, in the eyes of many people around them, Tang Cen and Lu Sheng were indeed very happy when they were together.Occasionally Eisen would notice the carefully hidden loneliness in Tang Cen's eyes, but as soon as Lu Sheng appeared, those subtle emotions disappeared without a trace.

Tang Cen had Lu Sheng by his side, but Eisen always felt that there was an inexplicable sense of disobedience.

However, the shadow reflected in those eyes is not him, he has no right to interfere with Tang Cen's feelings, so he chose to give up that year, buried that ignorant and bitter first love in his heart, and forced back the almost twisted life trajectory original position.

"I thought it was impossible for me to be with you in my life. Maybe when I was the right age, I would obey my parents, marry a woman I didn't like that much, marry and have children with her, and live a nine-to-five life every day. Live your life in a normal way."

After Tang Cen left England, Eisen, who returned to a peaceful life, really thought so.He tried to forget about Tang Cen, made a new girlfriend, and played a gentle and considerate boyfriend for her wholeheartedly, but he no longer felt the thrill of his girlfriend's beautiful face.

It wasn't until the moment Tang Cen bumped into his arms in the hotel that the heart that had been silent for many years started beating violently.A large amount of blood pumped from the heart to the brain dazed Eisen's head, and the always sober and calm person did everything in front of Tang Cen, just like a teenager secretly pulling the hair of a girl he had a crush on, desperately trying to get the other party's attention Boys do.

"I met you in the hotel that day, we drank together in the bar, and even the apartment here is opposite. There are so many coincidences, how can I be willing to let go?" Aisen kissed Tang Cen's cheek and the corners of his lips, hiding the The feelings in the bottom of my heart were revealed little by little before Tang Cen's eyes, "Maybe this is all predestined."

Tang Cen was sitting on the sofa, listening to the handsome British man in front of him telling him the past events that were dusty in his memory.His admiration, his love, have something to do with him, but he never knew it.

Over the past month or so, Tang Cen armed himself with sharp spikes, hid all his fragility, and completely sealed himself off. As a result, the gap between him and Eisen became deeper and deeper.

Eisen loves him and wants to ask for it from him, but he has gradually figured out what he likes, and will drag him back when he is walking towards the edge of the cliff.When he closed himself off, Eisen kept trying to talk to him, groping for a way to get along, but he kept refusing to respond to all of this.

When Eisen knew all about his preferences and habits, he still didn't know about Eisen. He didn't know what Eisen liked or hated. He only knew that no matter how hard he drove, Eisen would be by his side.

He has been a shameful coward from beginning to end, enjoying himself unscrupulously and cowardly avoiding reality at the same time.Locking himself in a small space, while feeling sorry for himself, he also stabbed Eisen severely with a spike.

After Tang Cen slowly tried to get close to Aisen, and saw that the bloodied person was still pitifully waiting for his response, he realized what kind of feelings Aisen had for him, and slowly put away Sharp spikes.

And after Tang Cen disarmed, the problems of being isolated from the protective shell together with his feelings before also followed.

Aisen's tenderness scared Tang Cen, he turned his face to avoid Aisen's kiss, "I don't know whether I like you or I can't leave you."

"I'm very selfish. Maybe when I'm with you, I'm just using you and treating you as a substitute for Lu Sheng." Tang Cen didn't want to leave Aisen, he wanted to talk to him and live together, even if he knew that he loved Aisen It's not such a thin relationship, but he couldn't tell whether it was because he was greedy for Eisen's tenderness, or because he already liked him, and he didn't dare to say it openly like Eisen.

"Are you willing to be used by me?" Tang Cen couldn't believe it even after hearing Aisen's promise with his own ears.He doesn't know what virtue and ability he has, that he deserves to be liked like this, to be held in the palm of his hand and protected, obviously he is a person who doesn't know what love is.

Perhaps Eisen's native family gave him too much happiness, so that Eisen has endless feelings for him to squander.Knowing that he has no love for him, this fool who is dazzled by love will still kiss his lips, his ring finger, and make promises to him in the most gentle voice.

"I am willing."

The warm breath sprayed on the back of his hand, but Tang Cen withdrew his hand suddenly as if he had been burned.He touched the place where Eisen had kissed, staggered his eyes, and said unnaturally: "When you took me to Switzerland, I was really scared. I thought...you were going to put me in the hospital."

Eisen didn't realize what Tang Cen was talking about for a moment, but he suddenly understood when he saw his red ears.He raised his hand and rubbed Tang Cen's head, until he messed up the soft hair before stopping, "What nonsense are you talking about?"

This comforting action made Tang Cen very embarrassed. He threw Eisen's kindness on the ground, stomped on it a few times, and then showed it in front of him, but Eisen still didn't mind, and could even do it to him. Such an intimate gesture.

This comforting action made Tang Cen very embarrassed. He threw Eisen's kindness on the ground, stomped on it a few times, and then showed it in front of him, but Eisen still didn't mind, and could even do it to him. Such an intimate gesture.

Tang Cen said that he was just using him and treating him as a substitute for Lu Sheng, and he did exactly that in the very beginning.But people are still different. Lu Sheng has done the same action countless times, but Tang Cen never felt this way. No matter how Tang Cen hypnotizes himself, Eisen will not be Lu Sheng's substitute after all.

He doesn't need to be Lu Sheng's substitute, Lu Sheng is no match for him.

Now that the matter was over, Tang Cen didn't want to hide it from him anymore, he should know about those dark and embarrassing pasts.

"When we went to bed for the first time, I hadn't broken up with Lu Cheng." Tang Cen twisted his fingers through his clothes, staring at his knees, not even daring to look at Eisen from the corner of his eye, "He I cheated, but I haven't made up my mind to break up with him, so I ran to England to relax."

"I'm the same as him." Like Lu Sheng, Tang Cen has no loyalty to the deceitful feelings, but he must tell Eisen this fact.

Eisen had vaguely guessed a thing or two from Tang Cen's attitude before, but what he guessed and what Tang Cen said were completely different in nature.Eisen lifted Tang Cen's chin and forced him to look into his eyes, "You are not wrong, I took advantage of it."

They were all drunk at that time, but he was still sober. He did such a thing when Tang Cen was insane. Whether it was Tang Cen's acquiescence or not, it was all his fault.

This answer was completely expected by Tang Cen, but Tang Cen still felt a little unbelievable when he heard him blame himself.He couldn't figure out what kind of family environment it was that could cultivate a person like Eisen who was trampled on by others and could still give tirelessly.

"I don't blame you." Eisen gave him the steps, and Tang Cen followed them down.For the two people who were already in a relationship, there was no need to pursue it any further. The sooner the past was overturned, the sooner Tang Cen could get out of the shadows.

The most important thing now is still Tang Cen's condition. Those who have left can be regarded as non-existent, but the recurrence of the condition from time to time is an unavoidable problem that stands in front of them.

Eisen pinched the flesh on Tang Cen's cheek, Tang Cen didn't open his hand, didn't even move, allowing him to play with his cheek, but this intimate gesture made the flesh that was already bloody heart hurts more.

Obviously his body has been paralyzed by alcohol, why does he still feel pain?