Happy Life [Rebirth]

"Have you thought about it?"

Jon stared at me: "It's been 2 minutes."

I thought to myself, what is there to think about, don't think about it, I will definitely reject you, and I don't like you.But as soon as I opened my mouth, I suddenly felt an indescribable feeling in my heart.I clearly know that I don't like Jon, but I was shocked, even a little frightened, and I suddenly thought - so there are people who like me?

Although when she said she liked me, her tone was calm as if she was saying that the weather is so nice today, let's talk about a relationship.

But there are people like me who like it.I think so.

So I didn't reject her immediately, I looked at Jon suspiciously, and asked her: "What do you like about me?"

Whether there is a reason to like someone, I don't know about others, but I know that my liking for Gu Tingsheng has nothing to do with love at first sight at least.We grew up together, since I was eight years old, I am gloomy and sensitive, and I never take the initiative to approach anyone.

Some people in those ten years of life may have been here, but soon they all left. There were many people coming and going, and only my brother remained.Over the past ten years, more than 3000 days and nights and ten seasons of spring and autumn, why do you like Gu Tingsheng?

It may be because I saw him standing under the sycamore tree on the side of the long street waiting for me day after day after school every day, or it may be because I saw him smiling at me at a certain moment and thought his smile was beautiful , or it may be that the first thing you see when you sleep and wake up every day is always your brother...

It may also be that there are many people in my life, and only he touched my head and said that I will take good care of you.Only he remained.

More than 3000 days and nights turned into flesh and blood and sank into the bone marrow. When I grow up and see him smile, it means the dust has settled and I like it.

So I like Gu Tingsheng because he is good to me. I think I am very superficial. If Gu Tingsheng is not good to me, if my gloomy personality makes him dislike him, he has not become a qualified person who takes care of me and grows up. brother.

But he didn't. He took good care of me and grew up. From then on, I liked him, every part of his body, his warm and bright eyes, his fair and handsome face, and the just under his skin. his soul.

Jon: "Don't look so serious."

"It's not a big deal." Jon smiled. "It's not that I want to marry you. You hesitated because we are not familiar with each other. I understand, but it's just a relationship."

I think, Guitar girl, it’s just a relationship, what you’re talking about is as simple as eating a candy.

"There's nothing to hesitate." Jon reached out suddenly, and her fingertips touched under my eyes.Because I was in a state of shock all the time, I didn't hide for a while.

Jon: "Let's try it out, continue if you like it, separate if it doesn't suit you, don't take falling in love as something very serious and serious, get together if you get along, separate if you don't get along, after trying it out, if you feel it's not suitable, I will I won't pester you either, I won't do something like that."

"Jon." I called her name.

"Ah."

"I'm just hesitating how to refuse you."

After I said this sentence, I was silent for a long time. The vines were blown by the wind and the leaves made a rustling sound. After being silent for too long, I suddenly regretted it. I thought why I couldn’t speak softly.

It’s the first time in two lives that someone says they like me, but am I worthy of this girl liking me? I feel very guilty. I rarely get such a thing as “love”. No weight, but she suddenly made me understand that someone would like Yang Lu.

"I'm not worthy of your liking." I lowered my voice, trying to make up for what just sounded like provocation.

"It's really not worth it." I said to Jon. "You deserve better boys, at least not like me. I have a bad personality, withdrawn and gloomy, and I don't look like a boy."

"Wow..." Jon said, "You don't have to say that to comfort me, then I am very disrespectful if I like you. And liking this kind of thing can't be measured by whether it's worth it or not. If you can measure it, don't be impulsive It’s not called liking.”

I found that Jon, a girl who is unique, is not only independent, but also has a unique way of thinking and the key points of seeing problems.

Jon continued: "Really, even if you try, I'll hold the guitar and sing to you. I heard that many boys like me because of this."

I want to say that you are wrong about this point. Boys don’t like girls holding guitars and singing. Boys like beautiful girls holding guitars and singing. It’s okay to sing out of tune.

But I have a question in my mind. I looked at Jon very puzzled, and stared into her eyes. Jon didn't avoid my gaze. The two of us were looking at each other. I saw her watching intently. my face, I asked Jon: "What do you like about me?"

Me: "I really don't understand, we haven't even spoken a few words, the most time is when I carried you to the school infirmary - that's when Gu Tingsheng carried you, why don't you like Gu Tingsheng?"

Jon looked at me, looking over my back, I think she was looking at the vines behind me, Jon said: "You really don't want to try it, a lot of people like me."

"Many girls also like Gu Tingsheng." I told Jon, "So you like Gu Tingsheng?"

Jon: "...you just asked me what I like about you. In fact, I noticed you the first time I met you. Do you remember the day when freshmen registered for grade accommodation?"

"I remember." I also laughed suddenly, "You sat under the tree opposite us and sang with your legs crossed while hugging the guitar. The almostlover song you sang was very nice."

"Do you know this song?" Jon laughed too.

"Brother, it was Gu Tingsheng who told me."

Jon: "...It's him. I didn't sit under the tree opposite you that day, I sat under the tree opposite you. It was very hot at the time, and I just arrived at school from my brother, carrying a guitar to register Looking at the place to stay, seeing such a long queue and so many people, I really want to blow up the school, so two teachers in one office are in charge of registering so many new students?"

Jon said again: "But when I turned my head, I saw you."

She stopped here, I looked at Jon, and Jon looked at me and smiled: "Really, I was stunned when I first saw it, and I subconsciously thought that the boy sitting there was so beautiful, so I went to see it." The second time you look at it and the third time, the more you look at it, the more you feel that this is the only clear stream in the hot weather, so I ran to the tree opposite you and sang with a guitar, because I could see you."

"But then I couldn't say I liked you," Jon said. "I just thought this was the best-looking boy I've ever seen, and I've never seen him like this before."

I'm more surprised than before, I don't know what is worthy of this excellent girl in me, but I never thought that looks would be one of them.

As a boy, I really look down on my appearance and physique. Zhang Yueyang and Gu Tingsheng are also thin, but they are just young and thin, but I can really be called thin.

I don't have broad enough shoulders, nor a thick chest, and I have a face that is not only delicate for boys, but also slightly "feminine".Not only do I dislike my personality, but I also don't like any part of my body or skin, and I don't think any girl would like a guy with a thin chest that they can't rely on.

But in Jon's mouth, these have become the advantages that she praised greatly.She said: "Your eyes are very beautiful, the eyeballs are very dark, and your eyes are different from most people's eyes. Your facial features are very delicate, your face is small, your skin is so white, the afternoon sun falls on you and I look at you. You are like a beautiful porcelain doll."

Jon: "And you are whiter than me, it seems that your eyes and eyebrows are very dark, and your lips are very red."

Jon laughed suddenly: "My language is so-so, I seem to describe you as a little white face with red lips and white teeth."

I really don't know how to answer this girl. I think your Chinese is pretty good. You can see that you can even match the words "red lips and white teeth" and "little white face".

Jon laughed several times before returning to her usual calm and indifferent look.

She looked at me with a calm voice, and she said: "At first, I was only interested in sex, but it was not enough to fall in love with. But now that I have seen sex, I can't help but keep looking at you. I see you and Mr. Gu Tingsheng We were together, once in the morning after the third period of class, Gu Tingsheng buried his head on the table, and I saw you looking at him."

"You've been watching him for a long time." Jon's tone became lighter and lighter. "I saw you reach out and touch his hair very carefully. I also saw you looking at him with very focused eyes and a very complicated emotion that I can't describe."

"Happy and sad." Jon looked at me, and I looked at her.

I shook my head suddenly: "Why are you sad?"

Jon said: "Do I look sad? In fact, it's the first time I confessed, the first time I felt that I liked this person a little bit, and I knew you would reject it before I told you."

Jon: "Because what I like may be Yang Lu who looks at Gu Tingsheng with focused and affectionate eyes."

"Sorry I used the word affectionate," Jon said.

I fell into an ice cave in an instant. I looked at Jon. There was no like or dislike on her face, and it could even be said to be a kind of calm kindness. Gu Tingsheng's feelings, I felt like being stripped naked and standing under the public at that moment.Even though I was actually standing in front of a Jon with a sad and joyless face.

Jon: "I have thought about it a lot. I think what I like is not only your good looks, but also your focused eyes. You are only thirteen for such a small boy, but your eyes look at you The gaze of another person seems to have been there for many years, and it doesn't seem like the feelings that can be accumulated in a short period of time."

"It seems like many years have passed..." Jon said softly, "Day after day, year after year, many years and years passed before the eyes settled down, Yang Lu, what I like is that you wear such a Feelings like the way another person looks."

"But that person is not me." Jon shrugged, "I really envy someone in this world who is loved so intently."

Jon said, "Gu Tingsheng, do you like Yang Lu too?"

I was very surprised at the time, and said this sentence to Jon suddenly, but when I saw Jon looking straight behind me, I suddenly realized that she was not looking at vines, but she was looking at a person behind me.

I turned around and saw Gu Tingsheng standing behind me. He was frowning, and his eyes fell on Jon behind me. I opened my mouth, and then I took a few breaths. From the heart, came " Bang--! Bang--! Bang--!" The sound was like a hammer reverberating in my heart, hitting my heart hard again and again.

I feel so painful and scared, I think I should question Jon loudly, why did you say it on purpose, do you want me to lose it because you can't get it?

But this accusation makes no sense, because Gu Tingsheng was never mine, and I never got him, so how can I blame Jon for making me lose him.

I looked at Gu Tingsheng, I blinked suddenly, and I heard myself calmly say to Gu Tingsheng: "Brother, do you believe what Jon said?"

Gu Tingsheng's gaze fell on me from Jon. I saw Gu Tingsheng looking at me with his eyebrows stretched, but he looked at me with complicated eyes, with an expression that had absolutely nothing to do with happiness and peace. Me, that was a kind of look that I didn't quite understand. I seemed to see him looking at me guiltily.

I thought there was nothing to be guilty of, and then I thought - is he guilty because he heard Jon and he couldn't reciprocate my feelings?

Gu Tingsheng said, "Can you leave first? Why are you still standing here listening?"

Behind me came the sound of Jon's leaving footsteps. When Jon was gone, Gu Tingsheng looked at me and said, "Xiaolu."

I subconsciously took a step back, I laughed, and I pretended to be okay and said to Gu Tingsheng: "Did you hear what Jon said? I don't understand why she said that, and I don't know what she said. Why do you like me? I'm not worthy of her liking."

Gu Tingsheng said: "Why are you not worth it? You are so nice, why doesn't she like you?"

"You are so kind." Gu Tingsheng said to me, I saw him suddenly turn the corners of his eyes and mouth down at this moment, he was vague, as if crying, and said to me softly, "You Great, makes me feel like I'm not good enough for you."

Gu Tingsheng said to me very seriously and sadly: "You make me feel like I'm a piece of trash."

"You..." I didn't understand the meaning of Gu Tingsheng's words, so I had no choice but to go over and touch his eyes. My heart began to feel sore, and I wanted to ask why you showed such an expression, brother. It's me who should be afraid, and should be afraid and sad It's me too, why do you show such an expression, as if you are sad for me again.

"You are not rubbish." I suddenly felt very tired. I had buried a secret for two lifetimes. If I didn't say anything in my previous life until I died, should I continue to cover it up? I suddenly felt very angry.

I feel deep anger.

Isn’t love the most beautiful feeling in the world? It’s like blooming flowers in spring and bearing fruits in autumn, like the sunshine in summer and snow in winter, like we will grow up year after year, like seeds breaking through the soil Buds bloomed, like one person meeting another.

But I just can't do it.

Where is liking is beautiful, I like Gu Tingsheng, a man falls in love with another man, there are thousands of loves in the world, who stipulated that a man liking a woman is love.If you only like it because the other party is a woman, what is it that deserves to be praised by poets and writers throughout the ages?

"I..." I heard myself say.

I heard myself questioning angrily and sadly, I am not telling Gu Tingsheng, I always say that the world does not care who you are, but at this moment, I am questioning the world——

"Men like women, women like men, is that the only way to be right?"

"It's only because you're a man, or you're a woman, that I like it—what's there to say about that?"

"I like you more than anyone else in this world." I looked at Gu Tingsheng, "I could even die for you. I like you more than those girls who stand by the basketball court cheering for you and handing you water You, what do they like? It’s just because you are handsome enough and better than other boys. They don’t like you because you are Gu Tingsheng. They only like you because you stand in the position of “excellent”. you."

"Even if you have nothing." I told Gu Tingsheng, "I will always love you."

A person's life can last up to a hundred years, which is as short as mine. I lived only 26 years in my previous life. I don't need sweet words and vows. I have proved with facts that Yang Lu loves Gu Tingsheng to the end.I love him more than anyone else, but any woman can openly say that he likes him more than me.

"Don't cry." Gu Tingsheng said to me.

"Don't cry, Xiaolu." Gu Tingsheng bent down, his back bowed like a cooked shrimp, he suddenly covered his eyes, Gu Tingsheng burst into tears, and he let out a cry A long, hoarse cry, like a bent and bent monster looking very embarrassed.

Gu Tingsheng said a word to me hoarsely and with a crying voice over and over again. I didn't understand why he did this. He seemed to be greatly stimulated. Looking at him, I suddenly understood that his current feelings were despair.

With despair and guilt that I couldn't understand, he said hoarsely to me: "It's the elder brother who is wrong, it is the elder brother who is sorry for you."

The author has something to say: Brother is in a complicated mood, very sad...(___)ノ｜

After all, the eldest brother feels that he is ashamed of Xiaolu a lot_(:зゝ∠)_