mentally handicapped life

irritable.

Can't draw.

Why can't I draw this face tomorrow day and night?

Why is the face that can be hardened by just thinking about it, the face carved on the apex of his heart, why is it wrong to draw it?

Nothing is right.

Yi Zhihang, Yi Zhihang, why can't I draw Yi Zhihang.

This face, this body, seemed to be against him.

"Are you coming back..."

"I miss you so much."

"No, you can't come back! Zuo Nianhang is too similar to me, you will be deceived by him, you will forget me, no!"

"Come out and see me, okay? Quietly, in the study. Lao Li told me that when I fell downstairs, I frightened you into a faint. You were so timid. You must have thought I fell to death, right? Come out and see." Me, I'm alive."

"If you don't come out to see me, can you let me draw a picture for you? I miss you so much..."

"Why why why! Why can't I draw it! You won't see me, and you won't let me draw you!"

"Are you dead? No, no. I know you're not dead, you're definitely not dead. I'm not dead, why are you dead!"

"Why don't you let me draw you!"

……

Zuo Wen was half asleep in a daze when he felt movement in the study room, which was quite loud. He was startled, and quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the study room.As soon as the door opened, the person sitting on the ground inside also turned his head around, his face covered with tears.The stand that had been standing in the room had fallen down, and the drawing paper on the stand was also smeared in a mess.The palette was hung upside down on the legs of the stand, and paintbrushes, a pile of crumpled drawing paper, and messy paints were scattered all over the floor.

"... Zuo Wen?" The man had a hoarse voice with an expression of disbelief.

Zuo Wen's heart skipped a beat, his voice trembling: "You...what did you call me?"

"Zuo Wen—!" Yi Zhihang yelled, getting up and throwing himself on Zuo Wen, "I must be dreaming."

Zuo Wen didn't dare to move, just let him hold him so stiffly, is it true or not?Is Yi Zhihang in front of him real or fake? "Yi Zhihang...don't fool me, don't fool me..."

Yi Zhihang buried his head in Zuo Wen's neck, choked up and said: "I don't know what's wrong with me... I was talking to you downstairs in your office with food a second ago, and in a blink of an eye I went to the study room at home to take it. The paintbrush is drawing. I also saw you fall off the stairs and scared me to death... So I'm dreaming now? There's no way you're still alive..."

Zuo Wen's chest heaved violently, he could feel Yi Zhihang's breath on his neck, Yi Zhihang's tears, the temperature of Yi Zhihang's body, Yi Zhihang's dependence on him...he came back?He is back?Yi Zhihang...is he really back? "Are you... really... Yi Zhihang?"

Yi Zhihang raised his head and said with tears in his eyes, "I'm not Yi Zhihang, so who am I?"

Zuo Wen kissed him violently, regardless of whether he was real or not, whether he left or stayed, even if it was a big dream, Zuo Wen would firmly seize the opportunity.

……

Intense panting intertwined in the living room.

Zuo Wen pinched Yi Zhihang's chin to force him to look at him, bit his lip hard, and asked viciously: "Are you still going? Huh? Yi Zhihang, are you fucking...won't you go away?" ?!"

"Well... don't go, ask Zuo, I won't go..."

Zuo Wen stood up vigorously, provoking Yi Zhihang to yelp again, pushing half of his head out of the sofa.Zuo Wen bit his Adam's apple, and said in a nasal voice: "I really want to bite you to death...you lied to me, you fucking lied to me! Hmm...you will still go, you will still go! What the hell should I do when you leave? Hmm? What the hell should I do! "

Yi Zhihang didn't speak any more, he just hugged Zuo Wen tightly and catered harder.Two drops of hot liquid dripped on his neck, Yi Zhihang cupped Zuo Wen's face and kissed his lips, two lines of tears also rolled down.

……

……

From the sofa to the bedroom, I did it three times.

Yi Zhihang was extremely tired, but he didn't dare to sleep, he was afraid that he would fall asleep, and Zuo Wen would disappear again.

Zuo Wen didn't dare to sleep, he was afraid that when he woke up, Yi Zhihang would become the thorny himself again.

"Zuo Wen, I remembered the past." Yi Zhihang said on Zuo Wen's body.

Zuo Wen kissed him on the forehead and said, "I figured it out. I'm not as stupid as before, and I don't even call him brother." Is this a pleasant surprise?

Yi Zhihang laughed: "You go. I don't care about me, you still care about my title?"

Zuo Wen also laughed, "What's wrong, isn't it uncomfortable?" As he spoke, he pushed Yi Zhihang with his hip.

Yi Zhihang laughed and said, "It's comfortable. How about you? Before I...are you comfortable?"

"I'm comfortable too." Zuo Wen said.

The two had another round of fun.

Finally stopped laughing, Zuo Wen thought for a while and said, "Is it because I woke up today and found myself thinking about the past?"

"Well. My dad fell from upstairs and died when I was in the middle school entrance examination. I seem to be stupid. I can't remember what happened in those few years. But I can remember everything after I met you. I remember How kind you are to me... I saw you fall from the stairs too and I was so scared that I lost my soul... Oh, yes, hiss..." Yi Zhihang immediately bared his teeth and grinned.

Zuo Wen raised his head and asked, "What's the matter, is it still hurting?"

Yi Zhihang glanced left and asked, "It's sour."

"Then I'll rub it for you." Zuo Wen said, moving Yi Zhihang aside, getting up and rubbing his waist.

"Yeah." Yi Zhihang lay down obediently, "Ah... so comfortable. Very good, often rubbed by others?"

Zuo Wen chuckled and said, "Yes, I massaged you every day when you were unconscious."

"Coma? Yes, I just want to ask you this. Why did I wake up in the study? I obviously went to the hospital to look for you, but I saw you fall from the stairs... I saw you at the door of the study and really thought it was you. Dreaming. The weather is not right, it seems to be winter now? What happened to me? Then what... When I was doing it, you asked me why I can’t go? And where is your ring?” Yi Zhihang balked out Several questions.

Zuo Wen leaned down and kissed Yi Zhihang's temples, went out for a while, and came in after a while, with an extra ring on his hand.He climbed into bed and continued rubbing Yi Zhihang's waist, and said, "You have been in a coma for more than a year, and you have been awake for four months. You went to the hospital to find me, and that was already a year and a half ago."

"A year and a half ago?!" Yi Zhihang exclaimed in surprise, why did he feel that a year and a half had passed in just a few seconds?And since he has been awake for four months, why doesn't he have any memory at all? "Are you lying to me? Why don't I remember anything?"

Zuo Wen's fingers moved along Yi Zhihang's spine, which made Yi Zhihang tremble: "Hey, it's itchy, why don't you rub it?"

Zuo Wen lay down on Yi Zhihang's back, kissed his neck and said, "I don't want to rub it anymore. Why don't you remember? Let me think about it, because after you wake up, you won't be you anymore, you will regard yourself as me. The one who spoke sarcasticly to me didn't let me wear the ring, and let me sleep in the living room..."

Yi Zhihang was even more surprised, "Did I take myself as you? Am I insane? Still have a bad attitude towards you?"

Zuo Wen laughed, kissed Yi Zhihang's back all the way down, and said vaguely: "What kind of insanity, it's just that you think I'm dead and can't accept it, um, imagine yourself as me."

"Ah? Then I... um... don't do this..."

Zuo Wen didn't stop, and kissed him all the way up, bit Yi Zhihang's earlobe, and said, "I'll take you to the hospital tomorrow, and don't say anything irrelevant now, this is the doctor's order."

"It's almost dawn..." Yi Zhihang muttered.

"Then make it dawn." Zuo Wen said.

……

……

When taking a shower in the morning, Yi Zhihang looked at himself in the mirror. It was as if...the swelling of his lips hadn't subsided, and there were a few pinch marks on his chin, and the red spots on his body spread from his neck to his waist, abdomen, thighs, The knees were bent, with patches of bruises and countless bite marks.

Zuo Wen also realized that he seemed to be playing too much, and finally rubbed his face in embarrassment and said: "I... I'm so excited, next time it's you..."

Yi Zhihang hugged him and kissed him, and said: "It's okay, as long as it's you, I can do whatever I want." After a pause, he leaned on his left side and asked in a breathy voice, "Besides, I'm really happy ..."

Zuo Wen was agitated, patted Yi Zhihang's butt, raised his eyebrows and said, "You don't want a butt anymore?"

Yi Zhihang shook, jumped away quickly, covered his buttocks and said, "Yes, yes, Cheek!"

It made Zuo Wen laugh, and Yi Zhihang couldn't help laughing himself, and the two of them had another silly laugh.

After breakfast, Zuo Wen originally wanted Yi Zhihang to sleep for a while, after all he didn't sleep all night and did strenuous exercise.Yi Zhihang didn't want to sleep. First, he was afraid that Zuo Wen would suddenly disappear when he fell asleep and woke up again. Second, he really wanted to find out what happened to him.

Zuo Wen called the doctor to say hello and took Yi Zhihang there. After listening to their description, the doctor surnamed Zhang was also surprised, saying that I have hypnotized you for four months and failed to wake you up. Come out, you drew a picture at home and ran out by yourself?and……

"Why are you covering yourself so tightly?" Dr. Zhang looked at Yi Zhihang, who was still wearing a scarf and mask, and said strangely. The air conditioner was obviously on. Doesn't this child think it's too hot?

Zuo Wen coughed unnaturally, and said to Yi Zhihang: "Then what, take off the mask, just cover it with the scarf."

Yi Zhihang glanced at him and didn't move. Doctor Zhang suddenly blurted out: "You two have sex?"

Zuo Wen coughed fiercely, and Yi Zhihang also moved his butt subconsciously, neither of them spoke.

"Don't hide it from me, I'm his doctor." Dr. Zhang said seriously.

Zuo Wen had no choice but to bite the bullet, and said with a little embarrassment: "Yes, yes, you can see this..."

Doctor Zhang thought to himself that with this boy's awkward sitting posture and his tightly covered neck and face, a fool can guess what the two of you did last night, maybe how intense it was.

"Okay, I've never seen anything as a doctor, so take off the mask, I have to see your expression." Dr. Zhang said casually.

Yi Zhihang glanced at Zuo Wen again, and reluctantly took off his mask.Seeing the bruised fingerprints on his face, Dr. Zhang blurted out again: "You abused the patient domestically?!" This time he said it to Zuo Wen, and his tone sounded quite angry.

"No!" Zuo Wen immediately explained, "Then what, I did it accidentally, I have no tendency to violence! It is impossible to treat him!"

Doctor Zhang had an expression of "Oh? Really?"

"He didn't rape me." Yi Zhihang finally spoke, "It's just fun."

Doctor Zhang said in his heart that the two of you have a really special interest.

After chatting for a long time, Yi Zhihang figured out what was going on with him.Doctor Zhang slapped his thigh and said, "Let me tell you, how can you have a split personality when you are mentally impaired? It's unheard of. It turned out to be stimulated. It's good news."

"I just want to know if he is cured or not," Zuo Wen said.

Doctor Zhang spread his hands: "It's not good."

Both Zuo Wen and Yi Zhihang felt tense.

"What are you family members thinking? A rare disease like split personality should just be cured? Then why do you need us doctors?" Doctor Zhang said with a roll of his eyes.

"Then what's the situation now?" Zuo asked.Yi Zhihang also wanted to know.

Doctor Zhang thought for a while, and said, "You said that he was painting, and he competed with himself while painting, right? Wrong? So I guess," Doctor Zhang turned to look at Yi Zhihang, and continued: "You, you provoked yourself. But with your current mental state, I believe "Zuo Wen" Will come back sooner or later. "

"What do you mean?" Yi Zhihang was a little puzzled, thinking that my mental condition is not very good?

"It means that your nerves are very fragile now. In order to prevent injury, you will hide yourself again at any time. For protection, or for healing, "Zuo Wen" will naturally come back. "

"Don't think that you are quite energetic now, let Zuo Wen leave you quietly for a day, no, try for an hour."

"You are frightened now, and you feel too insecure. Even a little trouble can cause a big disturbance, so you still need treatment."

"Although you now know that Zuo Wen is not dead, you will feel that this is all a dream someday. This is not crazy. This is one of the symptoms of schizophrenia. Don't think about it."

"You now know that there is a "Zuo Wen" in your body, which is a good thing. At least it prevents you from being completely controlled or completely replaced. If he wants to replace you, it will be a little difficult from now on. "

"You have to continue to take antidepressants. Your depression won't get better in a while. This requires long-term treatment."

"Once it changes back to "Zuo Wen", immediately bring him to me.He's a little nervous now, otherwise he wouldn't be able to weaken and excite you.You can't let him continue down this wrong path, or you might really become a lunatic. "

……

Coming out of the hospital, Zuo Wen had a serious face, and Yi Zhihang was also depressed.

"Zuo Wen..." Yi Zhihang pulled Zuo Wen and stopped.

Zuo Wen squeezed his hand and said, "What's the matter? It's okay, I just don't leave you for half a step in the future, and I will tell you in advance if I have something to do."

Yi Zhihang lowered his head and whispered, "Did I burden you too much..."

Zuo Wen pinched his chin and lifted it up, shaking him, and said: "What nonsense are you talking about? Dr. Zhang has already said it, so don't think about it. You didn't drag me down, you just love me too much, I should be happy."

Yi Zhihang put his arms around Zuo Wen, closed his eyes, and said: "I really... like you very much, I like you very much, and I have never liked someone so much as I like you. Without you... I can't think , I don’t know how I can live without you, do you understand? Is this love? If it is, then I love you. Ask Zuo, I love you.”

Zuo Wen hugged Yi Zhihang tightly, kissed the tip of his ear, and said, "I know, I love you too."

"Don't despise me."

"I don't despise you."

"I'm going to the kitchen to make breakfast, did you hear me? I'm in the kitchen." Zuo Wen said, kissing Yi Zhihang who was still sleepy on the bed.

"Hmm... I heard it." Yi Zhihang muttered.

"I'm going to the bathroom, did you hear me? I'm in the bathroom." Zuo Wen said to Yi Zhihang who was painting.

"I heard it." Yi Zhihang said.

"I'm going to the bedroom to get a book, ten seconds. Do you hear me?"

"I'm going to get a towel, do you hear me?"

"I'm going to get a ticket, you sit here and watch me get it, 1 minute, do you hear me?"

"I'm going to move a car, 5 minutes, you are not allowed to walk around here, do you hear me?"

"Did you hear that?"

……

Zhong Yang is married.

The other party is a musician who likes Zhong Yang's paintings. He is clean and neat. He doesn't look like an artist at all, but he has the taste of many shopping mall elites.The wedding date was set on Valentine's Day, just before the year.

When Yi Zhihang entered the auditorium, he still felt like a lifetime away. In his impression, Zhong Yang seldom interacted with other men. She always said they were vulgar and boring.Inadvertently, she got married.

Before saying the oath, Zhong Yang said: "As long as I feel right, even if I only know you for a day, I will marry you without hesitation."

The groom smiled like a flower, thought for a while and said: "Then you are exaggerating, we have known each other for a year, and I have been chasing you for ten months, and I was pregnant in October."

"Isn't that still letting you succeed?"

"That is, that is. I have a heart that loves you unwaveringly."

The next group of people couldn't help laughing.

Yi Zhihang was also laughing, and he didn't pay attention to what Zuo Wen said to him, so he responded indiscriminately.After laughing, I feel envious again. It's great to have a wedding. "Hey..." He turned his head and wanted to talk to Zuo Wen, but he was in vain, the seat was empty, and Zuo Wen was not there.

What about left?

Yi Zhihang stood up abruptly, and even brought the chair down.Zuo asked where did he go?Why don't you tell him?Is he still in the hotel?Has he come to the hotel?Everyone at the table looked at Yi Zhihang in surprise, and the protagonist of the wedding also looked at him suspiciously.

Yi Zhihang broke out in a cold sweat, took out his cell phone tremblingly, and dialed Zuo Wen's number.

"Sorry, you called..."

Yi Zhihang trembled again, he could no longer hear what the electronic female voice on the phone was saying, and he couldn't see the figures of Zuo Jianguo and Shen Jinqiu running over, he just felt dizzy, very dizzy.

So is this all really a dream?Is every bit of this more than a month a dream?Zuo Wen is not around, the number is empty?Is the fact that he is still alive just a figment of his own thoughts?Sure enough... sure enough!

Yi Zhihang fell hard, and the phone flew out of his palm, and the child at the next table was so frightened that he cried out.

Yi Zhihang glared at the child with red eyes, and threw the table over again regardless of Zuo Jianguo's obstruction.The child cried louder.

Zuo Wen disappeared.

Zuo Wen will never appear again.

Zuo Wen is dead.

Zuo asked...

The author has something to say:

Continue the day after tomorrow~

I don't know which one is worse, Little Tiger or Zuo Zonggong