we are all gay

During the annual vacation, Mr. Zhu and I went home to meet his parents. I only remember that his parents are very kind.I also went with Mr. Zhu to attend his classmate's wedding.The bride is beautiful and the groom is handsome.

Mr. Zhu's classmates are very happy, and the steamed dumplings at the wedding are delicious.My feet were worn out by high heels, and Mr. Zhu didn't go to grab the bouquet.That's all I remember.

I admit that I am absent-minded because of the eleven lying on me.After returning from the bar, I wondered how Eleven came about, as if in a daze.

Seeing that I was absent-minded and the annual leave was not over, Mr. Zhu took me back to Suzhou ahead of schedule.During the period, the fat man sent photos.The sea of ​​Chongming, the people of Chongming, a glass of Chongming; the leaves of the plum tree in front of the door are very green.In the last photo, Mrs. Chen squinted her eyes and sat on an old red sofa under the plum tree.The young master and the fat man stood on both sides, each holding a glass of wine in their hands, which was poured from one glass to another.I haven't had a drink in a long time.

The wet body bar also has a pour.It's strong, but the boss's wine is not good. Nine out of ten dare not try it.Old Qu is the remaining half.

Speaking of which, how did I get to know Lao Qu?It seems that once he finished being a scum, he threw the cigarette butt into the wine glass.That glass of wine was lighted to him by a beautiful ghost before he smoked a cigarette.I don't know if I lost my mind, but when I put away the glass of wine, I muttered: "It's a pity that it's a pity."

The DJ the owner hired was presumably deaf and the music was blasting in the bar so I didn't expect him to hear it.Then he smiled and said, "This is just pouring in a glass." His voice was very soft, and he didn't sound like a scum.That's how we got to know each other.

Lao Qu really doesn't come here often, only once or twice a month.Most of the time, he is a gentle scum who switches at will, and I clean up my wine glasses and bottles everywhere.

When he was gentle, he would occasionally talk to me and ask me some nonsense.Like "Is rhinoceros or noodles delicious", "Plum blossoms are smarter or flies are smarter" and so on.How do I know this? If he wants to ask me whether the wine glass is easy to wash or the wine bottle, I can answer it.But he always asks, always asks, and he doesn't stop until I answer, and then he asks the next one.

When he was gentle, he would occasionally push me the wine he didn't want to drink, saying it was a pity to use it to put out cigarettes.What a pity?The boss's wine is either fake wine or watered down, which is not a pity at all.It's a pity that it's just a cup, because it's called a cup.I mostly just collect it and throw it away, and occasionally I drink it.Because I am too tired, the wine mixed with water is still wine, at least it can temporarily paralyze me.

Lao Qu usually leaves very late, when the ghosts are too tired to go home.Old Qu doesn't look like a ghost.The ghosts will come and go in the cold and summer among the ghosts, but he will not, he will be warm in the spring and cool in the summer among the ghosts; the ghosts will go home when they are tired, and the old song... the old song will also go home.Where is Lao Qu's home?I can't remember.

I smoked a cigarette by the window at the stairs, looking in the direction of Shanghai.I just watched, not daring to look down.Without Jing Chuan, the smoke is dead.

At this time, Miss Xu opened the door of the stairwell, looked at me, and asked, "Is there a lighter?" I raised the plastic lighter in my hand, and Miss Xu came to the window with a smile.I handed him the lighter, and he lit a cigarette, Su Yan, holding it in his mouth like a big brother.Miss Xu leaned on the window sill, took a few puffs, flicked her fingers lightly, and flicked off the fresh ashes, which floated in the air and were blown away by the wind.

Ms. Xu said that at that time, because the company had a lot of girls, he just graduated and didn't know what to do, so he stayed.He ran here thinking of finding a girl, but he didn't expect Mr. Shan to keep him because of the chaos in the company.He thought about it so he could learn something, but what he didn't expect was that there was so much to learn.

I said, "So your goal at the beginning was Jing Chuan?"

Miss Xu said, "No, you are also one of them."

I didn't speak, I didn't know what to say.His motives are impure, but at least he tells everyone that his motives are impure when he acts.He's so fucking sincere, he's an honest asshole.He cast a net to catch fish openly, waiting for the wisher to take the bait.Jing Chuan will not take the bait, and neither will I.

Miss Xu said, "I'm going to resign."

I said, "Oh." I understand why Ms. Xu resigned, he is an asshole, but he is not an asshole enough to use himself as bait.

Miss Xu said, "Meizi, Jing Chuan is sick."

Jing Chuan is sick.On the bed in the intensive care unit, Jing Chuan's long black hair turned into a small miscellaneous hair.The eyes are round and sunken, and a thick blood vessel is buried in the arm.Jing Chuan smiled and said, "Meizi, you've lost weight again." I pulled my face and said, "You too." Then I ran out of the ward, squatted in the corridor, bit my arm and cried.

The patient's family members came and went in the corridor, no one persuaded me, no one even looked at me.I was like a fool, squatting on the ground alone, holding my legs and crying with my mouth open.I don't know how long I cried, so I wiped my tears, went into the smoking room and smoked half a pack of cigarettes.Then I went to the bathroom to wash my face, put on some makeup, and went back to the ward.

In the ward, Ms. Xu and Jing Chuan were chatting about company gossip. Seeing me coming in, Jing Chuan asked, "Meizi, why did you take so long?"

I said, "Constipation."

Jing Chuan smiled and said, "I want you to eat more bananas."

I nodded and said, "Okay, eat more in the future."

I peeled an apple for Jing Chuan, and Miss Xu sat by the bed, watching Jing Chuan eat.Jing Chuan's parents are both at work, and they eat the hospital's sick meal for lunch.Jing Chuan ate deliciously.Watching her eat one bite at a time, as if after this mouthful of food, there will be no next mouthful.

The little sister in the next bed is also eating, she looks seven or eight years old.One person, sick meal.The child asked: "Sister, have you had a blood transfusion today?"

Jing Chuan said: "Not yet, I lost a lot yesterday, and the nurse said that I can hold on for a little longer."

The child raised his arms and said, "The nurse sister said that I have to have a blood transfusion in the afternoon and asked me to eat more."

Jing Chuan smiled and said, "Yes, eat more, today's carrots are better than yesterday's."

The child was very obedient and nodded to bite the carrot.Jing Chuan smiled warmly, like a sunflower in the setting sun.Ms. Xu and I were weeping.

Jing Chuan was upset, and said, "How can I eat when you look like this?" Jing Chuan lowered his head and stirred the dishes in the bowl, and said, "I also wanted to meet Jobs in the past, but I figured it out later. You Look, you can still eat cooked carrots, how nice it is.”

The room was too depressing, so I put the apple on Jing Chuan's dinner plate and said, "Chuan, I'll go put some memory." Ms. Xu also stood up and said, "I'll go get some water."

This time I didn't go to the smoking room, but stood at the stairs.The smell in the hospital is terrible.

I shook the cigarette case, shook out a cigarette, bit it in my mouth, and lit it.The nurse passing by the door saw it and said, "Don't smoke here!" I looked up for a moment, and Ms. Xu hurriedly apologized and said, "I'm sorry, her head is not working well, don't smoke, don't smoke anymore."

I twisted it with my fingers a few times, put out the cigarette, and stuffed it into my pocket.The nurse's eyes were wide open in shock. Seeing Ms. Xu's beauties, she glared at me and walked away.

Miss Xu came in with a water bottle and asked me, "Are you stupid?"

I exhale the smoke from my mouth and watch them slowly spread out in the air.I said, "I'm not stupid, I'm immoral." I'm such an immoral bastard.

Miss Xu said, "Jing Chuan said, you are a good person."

I said, "I'm not a good person. I've exhausted all my energy in being a human being in this life."

Miss Xu didn't speak.

I asked, "What do you want to do after you quit your job?"

Ms. Xu smiled and said, "Go learn something and change careers. I don't know if it's good or not."

I said: "Changing careers is a choice, just like you ate hot pot at the beginning, and now you ate barbecue. There is nothing good or bad."

Miss Xu looked at me and said, "Meizi, have you ever thought about resigning?"

I said, "No. I'm poor and dare not resign." Teacher Shan treated me well.

Teacher Shan did teach me a lot. It was like crossing a river. He told me how to buy a ticket and take a boat to cross it, but I thought I could just swim by myself.But I don't know how to swim yet, so I'm trying to learn to swim.Because I knew there was a river outside, I was afraid that I would be drowned if I went out.

Ms. Xu said: "Jing Chuan is right, you are a person who will not be entangled."

I snorted and said, "I'm not entangled, because I just want to be a painter without thinking about anything." An earthworm that just wants to roll in the soil is not entangled, it just stays in the soil.

Miss Xu laughed.

I asked Ms. Xu: "How much does Chuan get sick?"

Ms. Xu said: "I've already spent 40 to [-] yuan, and I can't find a suitable bone marrow, so I can only maintain it with medicine."

I said, "Fuck, now I think that damned money is a fucking good thing."

Ms. Xu laughed and said, "Damn money!"

Later, Ms. Xu and I visited Jingchuan twice.Then Jing Chuan was out of danger and discharged from the hospital.After Jing Chuan was discharged from the hospital, we had contacted several times intermittently. Jing Chuan said that Mr. Chang Yu came to her again and said he wanted to try again, so he asked my opinion.

I said I don't have any opinion, if I like it, I will be together and if I don't like it, I will make long fish noodles.Jing Chuan said that she knew why Mr. Changyu wanted to try again, and I knew it too.

I don't know why they separated, but I know why Mr. Chang Yu wanted to try, because Jing Chuan was sick.Jing Chuan is sick, and their relationship has a lifespan.It's funny to say that other people's feelings have a shelf life, but the relationship between Jing Chuan and Mr. Changyu only has a lifespan.This is the feeling that everyone is chasing after!

After Jing Chuan was discharged from the hospital, she went back to work in the elementary school, and heard that the son of the principal of the elementary school was chasing her.Of course, I learned all this from Ms. Xu who left her job.I can't say what it feels like, anyway, it's pretty good.

That was the last time I contacted Miss Xu after she left.That was the penultimate time I heard from Jing Chuan after she was discharged from the hospital.I was hiccupping when I got the news.Mr. Zhu watched me hit the subway all the way from the door, and finally couldn't help asking me: "Meizi, what's wrong with you?"

I said, "Drink a glass of milk in the morning."

Mr. Zhu didn't understand, and said, "Then what?"

I said, "Then I ate a piece of beef. Now two cows are fighting in my stomach."

Mr. Zhu laughed.I hiccupped and laughed.I don't know if Jing Chuan is smiling now, but she should smile more, her smile is really charming.

The author has something to say:

Dazai's nonsense:

Fatty and the young master are on the road of sweet abuse, but Meizi and Mr. Zhu are struggling.