we are all gay

I was supposed to come to play, but I missed the appointment.The reason given to me on WeChat is: His girlfriend said she doesn't like Suzhou because it's too wet.

Without even thinking about it, I answered a word: "Damn." Then said: "Shanghai is not wet, but the sea is waves. You just like it."

The fat man yelled at me: "Grandpa, I just like surfing!"

I've had a lot of bullshit with the fat man, in a pour.The young master never answered.After thinking about something wrong, I chatted with the fat man privately and asked him: "What's the matter with you and the young master?" After a while, the fat man replied: "I don't know." Adding a speechless expression, he replied: "I Haven't seen him for a long time."

I seemed to have just guessed something, and chatted privately with the young master: "Uncomfortable?"

The young master replied in seconds: "No."

I asked again: "Have you ever seen a fat girlfriend?"

The young master replied: "Which one?"

I said, "The surging one."

The young master replied: "Oh." After a while, the young master replied: "No see. Meizi, take care of yourself. I'm working."

I was speechless, and I could guess without thinking about it. The Shanghai of Nuoda is a place of debauchery and self-refrigeration.

In fact, I have only been in the company for more than three months.The three-month internship period, less than a month to become a full-time member, and I don't even know all the people in this department.Well, then the company was in turmoil because of the man who mortgaged the house for 300 million last time.

What did I say?It doesn't feel right.But I won't say it now, because Master has been implicated and Daquan has been implicated.So, Liu Mingmu, the boss of our mouth loan, the legendary old Liu, sent Daquan and Master with two checks.The rest of the people who wanted to work sent out a resignation application form.

More than 50 people were laid off in one day, and the company underwent a major internal adjustment. It is estimated that there will be no second company in this life.Why is it legendary?Because I have only seen one side of Lao Liu since I have been in the company for more than three months, and it is still his back.

Jing Chuan leaned on the window sill, exhaled smoke and choked twice, and said, "This old Liu who sees the end but can't see the head is really quick to cut through the mess, and the battle is quick, and he is not messy at all." She had run out of words to describe fast.

I rolled her eyes and said, "If I lose 3000 million yuan a year, let alone layoffs, I won't even blink if I kill someone."

Lao Liu lost 3000 million. I learned about such a serious question from Teacher Shan.During the turbulent days, I was assigned to him, and now Mr. Shan has become our new director for the first time. Standing next to the big tree of Mr. Shan, I was forced to stay in the company as if I had won a gold medal to avoid death. .

It was a blessing in disguise, and survived the catastrophe.It's just that I haven't figured out why Teacher Shan left me.Of course, I didn't dare to ask.But I'm still very sad, because Jing Chuan is about to leave his job, as the fish in the pond.

Jing Chuan twisted the cigarette butt into the Coke bottle on the windowsill, which was our homemade ashtray.Then he handed me the remaining half pack of twelve hairpins and said, "Take it, keep it as a souvenir."

I took the last puff, twisted the sparks that had burned to the butt of the cigarette a few times with my fingers, extinguished it and threw it into the ashtray.He took the half-bag of twelve hairpins, shook his hand casually, and said, "Yo, that's really generous."

Jing Chuan frowned and said, "Meizi, don't put out the smoke like this, it hurts."

I laughed and didn't speak.How did I learn to put out smoke like this?Rhinoceros, the word popped up in the mind's first reaction.Why am I thinking of this?No, think again.Oh, by the way, I learned this method from Lao Qu.

The old song, the song doesn't say anything, except for name and gender, marriage, occupation, age, constellation, blood type are all ominous.I met Lao Qu when I was working in a bar. He looks like he is in his 30s, well-dressed, and a depressed gentleman.Lao Qu is a friend of the owner of the bar and doesn't come here often.I don't talk much when I come, just drink.

I don't talk much. In order to earn living expenses, I attend classes during the day and work in bars from ten o'clock in the evening to four o'clock in the morning. I am tired and dumb.Speaking of which, thanks to pouring a glass, playing around with children in bars, and knowing a little about bartending and bar business.

When the bar owner is not drunk, he looks like a costumed turkey rooster; when the bar owner is drunk, he looks like a heavily made-up Christmas turkey.Fortunately this merciful turkey took pity on me and rewarded me with an errand to barely support myself here for four years.

When Lao Qu didn't drink too much, he basically pretended.He likes to unbutton his suits and loosen his tie when he dresses up.At this time, beautiful girls will come to strike up a conversation, but Lao Qu never refuses anyone.This is all too common in bars.Whether it is for experiencing life or for everything else, each takes what he needs.Sven and scum are just a layer of skin.

But for Lao Qu, it was just a cigarette.When Lao Qu didn't light his cigarette, he was serious and gentle.Smoke lit, serious scum.When he was done with the scum, he twirled his fingers, put out the cigarette and threw it into the wine glass, and then he became polite again.I noticed this entirely because wine glasses with cigarette butts are not easy to wash.

Jing Chuan left, and it didn't take long for him to say that he found a job, arranged by his family, as a teacher in an elementary school.I stood alone in the stairwell, imagining the appearance of Jing Chuan with red lips and big eyes holding a cigarette in his left hand and a textbook in his right.I thought, that must be very nice.

Master didn't say anything to me when he left.I am still very grateful to my master, even though I know that he has indeed waded through this muddy water.But when Teacher Shan asked me, like a revolutionary martyr, I would not say a word even if I was beaten to death.

In fact, I don't know why I am like this.Of course, Mr. Shan didn't beat me to death, but just gave me some jobs that were more important to him and messy to me.For example, collecting information; for example, keeping an eye on Lao Liu to see when he will come to the company; for example, being a driver on business trips.

The company took a case in Shanghai about the mortgage of a second-hand car.I went with Mr. Shan, Ms. Xu and other friends of Lao Liu.But I don't understand why Teacher Shan wants Ms. Xu to come. Is it possible that she is used to buying gifts?However, I'm just a driver, so I didn't ask.When I arrived in Shanghai, I met clients, listened to their explanations, and I took notes.After seeing clients, I went to dinner, and listened to their chats during the meal, from domestic to foreign, from finance to nightclubs, from banks to beauties.

When it comes to beautiful women, they can't stop.Talking about the pure girl in the bar, there are many tricks in the center, like going to the vegetable market to evaluate radish and cabbage.

The long-faced man said: "Have you heard that last year a female college student had a big belly, and she didn't want that man to give her a house, so she wanted to jump off the building."

Another man with a wide chin, like the long-faced manager, put on airs and said: "Oh, can you not hear that, that woman is going to jump on the 21st floor of Shuilinwan, and the apartment is at least sixty-seven million." , if you want me, I agree."

When the man with the wide chin was talking, he casually looked at his mobile phone. If he hadn't put down his mobile phone and drank a drink, I thought he would immediately book a flight to Thailand.

Then the long-faced man took out his mobile phone and passed it on to everyone as if offering a treasure.Teacher Shan and Ms. Xu didn't know whether they were interested or agreed, and they watched it for a long time.I didn't look at it, I was too hungry, staring at the dishes on the table that cost thousands of yuan and stuffing them into my stomach.

The long-faced man saw me eating with his head down, and said, "Oh, Xiaomei, you just graduated, right? We shouldn't have said this, but society is like this, you are too young to understand earlier."

I just noticed that the long-faced man looked at me, and there was only one female me on the table.The way the long-faced man spoke was very much like my political teacher.I only met that teacher once in the examination room for re-researching politics. He looked very political and re-reviewed.

I nodded stupidly, returned the mobile phone passed to me to the long-faced man with both hands, nodded and bowed and said, "You are right, we still need to learn more."

When I gave him the phone, I glanced at the screen and the video was paused.The girl was wearing a red dress, which seemed to be wrapped in a bathrobe, and she didn't look like she was about to commit suicide, she seemed to be blowing the wind.The pixels are not very good, the picture is not clear.It's really going downhill, and the configuration of gossip netizens is no longer good.

They went on chatting, getting more and more lively.I just listened, thinking to myself: Could it be that I gave up my sex life just because of this?I feel bad when I think about it.

So while they were talking, I just wandered about my sex life.Speaking of this, I have to thank our great teacher Zhu. My sexual enlightenment was all taught by his precepts and deeds after I met him.

I met Mr. Zhu when I was a sophomore. He was a senior when he was a senior. It seemed that someone in their dormitory had a birthday, so he came to the bar to celebrate.The big adventure asked a girl to drink, I heard that they were also from the Normal University, and thought it was boiled water, and then we met.

When we first got together, Mr. Zhu coaxed and lied to me to the balcony of the library, and kissed me directly against the wall.That was the first time he kissed me, and that was the first time I felt blush and heartbeat.That was my first kiss too.

After the kiss, we both lay down on the balcony and looked down as if we had done something big secretly.So for a long time, I always thought that after kissing, you can't talk, this is the expression of maturity.

It took me a while before I dared to ask Mr. Zhu in a low voice, "Are we cheating?" Mr. Zhu was amused by me, and said, "Fool, this is not cheating, it's flirting at best."

I nodded pretending to understand, and suddenly felt that Mr. Zhu was so powerful that he could tell the difference between cheating and flirting.

We stayed in the "pro" stage for a long time until Mr. Zhu came to work in Suzhou. When I came to Suzhou to meet him and quarreled, he stuck out his tongue.My mother never knew it was possible to play like this.

Later I asked him why he stuck out his tongue, and he said, "The tongue is another organ that has feelings. That's how 'Xiangyu Yimo' came about." He actually knew how they got there.Even if I don't like it, I won't fight it either.Then we went ahead step by step and by leaps and bounds.

Who ever talked about what?By the way, "out of control".During this "out of hand" days, Mr. Zhu was extremely patient.He used to have a bad stomach and liked to chew slowly.

Our real "out of control" was when Mr. Zhu came to Shanghai to celebrate for me on the day of my senior graduation ceremony.After taking graduation photos with my classmates, I went to the street for a dinner party, then went to the bar to hang out, and where did I go?Xu Shi played too crazy to remember.

It was past four in the morning when I arrived at Mr. Zhu's hotel. Mr. Zhu got up and was startled to see that I was drunk and not a ghost.I said: "Mr. Zhu, do you dare to want me?" Mr. Zhu didn't speak, so I gave Mr. Zhu the place where he died.

Afterwards, the two of us lay on the bed, and I asked Mr. Zhu: "Mr. Zhu, are we having an affair?"

Mr. Zhu smiled and said, "Fool, this is what we call love. Love is what you love and what I want."

That was the first time I heard about love.What is love, I don't know, maybe it is a more painful thing.It is a thing that everyone knows it hurts but rushes to it.

I looked at Mr. Zhu and asked seriously, "What is it like to have an affair?"

Mr. Zhu rubbed my hair and said, "Why do you always think about cheating, you little chick? I really don't know what you're thinking about all day long in your little head."

I didn't say anything, I thought maybe Mr. Zhu didn't know what cheating was.I don't know either, I just heard the person in a glass say that my mother stole it.

Seeing that I was silent, Mr. Zhu rolled over and pinned me under him.I know Mr. Zhu is very dissatisfied.That feeling was that it was a great shame for him to attack the enemy's base camp all the way, but was wiped out by the enemy's regiment in the end.

At that time, Mr. Zhu was self-confident and unrestrained, and he would have the upper hand in everything, especially the things he taught me personally.Green out of blue, burned into red.He is not reconciled.

Then what happened?It seems that in the few months after graduation, I played too crazy and drank too much and was hospitalized. The scar on the right back shoulder was left at that time.I can't remember the rest.

The days of graduation were muddled, and some fragments that could be put together were as real as fake.In short, during the three months or so since I came to Suzhou, I became what Mr. Zhu called a "little fairy".

The author has something to say:

Dazai's nonsense:

Jing Chuan is Dazai's favorite woman, bar none