the world in which he exists

Lin Jianfan's college entrance examination year spring came very early, and the summer was particularly long.Lin Jianfan packed his luggage and prepared to go to F University to report. It was the time when the high temperature continued in summer.

It has been sunny for almost a month, and I haven't seen much rain this summer. I am afraid that the sweat on my back is more than the rain this month.

Walking on the way home sweating profusely, the scorching sun mercilessly shone on Lin Jianfan's bare skin, and the sweat on his neck wiped away again.

Stopping, looking up at the dazzling sun above his head, stepping on a small group of shadows under his feet, Lin Jianfan blinked, the dazzling sunlight caused physical discomfort to his eyes.

In the midst of physical discomfort, Lin saw Fan looking up at the scorching sun above his head, and slightly raised the corners of his mouth to smile.

He laughed.

Use the third kind of smile that Gu Chaoming said.

He looked at the dazzling sunlight, as if looking at the future nine years later, at the scene where he came to pick up Gu Chaoming nine years later.

The wind at that time must be gentle, and it must not be as hot as it is now. He thought that when his boy returned home, there would be a gentle world waiting for him to return, and there would be gentle people waiting for him to return.

It doesn't need to be too enthusiastic, as long as Gu Chaoming is as enthusiastic as before.

Lin saw that Fan was on his way home, and tomorrow he was going to board a plane to the city where F University is located.

He's going to be there for four years, maybe more.He moved from one city to the city where Gu Chaoming was located, and now he has to move from here to a completely new and unknown city.

Before coming here, Lin Jianfan fantasized countless times on the school rooftop, who would he meet here, what would happen to him, whether it was light or constant darkness here.

He thinks a lot, he struggles, he wants to escape.

He imagined that there was light in the distance, but he was afraid of falling into a deeper abyss.

But when he refused his mother's escort and proposed to his mother that he could go to university alone, he was not afraid at all, because he believed that there was light and joy in the distance.

He came to this new city and met Gu Chaoming who gave him joy, isn't that the best proof?

He will not meet another Gu Chaoming, but he still has a future that he can work hard on his own.

He still has someone to wait for.

He wanted to have his own little world when he took that person home, or a rented one would do.He wanted to wear his favorite clothes that day, he wanted to comb a hairstyle that would mature nine years later, and bring Gu Chaoming back to his world to see the blossoming world that he had worked hard for for nine years.

He wanted to study hard and work hard during the nine years when Gu Chaoming was away, trying to let Gu Chaoming see a shining self after he came out.

This is not only his expectation, but also Gu Chaoming's expectation, Lin Jianfan understands.

The day before going to F University, Lin Jianfan went to see Gu Chaoming.

He told Gu Chaoming that he had packed his luggage and was leaving tomorrow, and it might take a long time before he came to see him.

Gu Chaoming seemed to accept it readily, as if he had thought of this a long time ago, without any surprise or reluctance, and asked him to make more friends in college.

Gu Chaoming looked at Lin who was behind the glass and saw Fan Xiao, his boy was about to leave, and he was going to a wider and wider place.

Gu Chaoming made a wish to the gods in his heart, that Lin Jianfan's good friend he met in college would treat him sincerely, not asking for everything, just asking for two or three.

May Lin Jianfan's life in college go smoothly, and even if there are minor troubles, they will be resolved smoothly.

May Lin see Fan away from suffering, and that everything he encounters is warm.

Make a wish to the gods in your heart, but the wish cannot be spoken out. Gu Chaoming only said four words: "Be careful on the road."

Lin saw that Fan looked at Gu Chaoming and raised his lips slightly, but before he answered, Gu Chaoming said, "You should become an excellent photographer in nine years. People like me, who have been here for so many years, Don't waste your time on me."

"Don't waste your time on me." Lin Jianfan still heard this sentence.

When deciding on his university plan, Lin Jianfan wondered whether his hard work would bring about Gu Chaoming's inferiority complex.

His boy is such a person, stubborn and strong.

Seeing Fan's heart aching, the young man who had brought him out of the haze told him not to waste time on him.

Where is the waste?He clearly deserves it.

"You said it was a waste of me to accompany you for nine years, then you are also wasting time on me when you accompany me to fold origami for me, visit me every day, and take me to the school I used to go to."

"Since you've wasted it, what's the point of my wasting it?" Lin Jianfan stared straight into Gu Chaoming's eyes through the glass, "Do you remember what you said on the rooftop? You said I Can I live for you? Now that I've survived for you, you didn't give up on me then, do you want me to give up on you now?"

A transparent liquid slipped from the corner of the eye, not from the corner of the crying Lin Jianfan.From the moment Gu Chaoming left him, he told himself to be strong and not to cry in front of Gu Chaoming.Gu Chaoming gave him a solid arm when he was weak, how could he cry in front of Gu Chaoming when Gu Zhaoming needed it.

Even if I couldn't help it, I could only cry tears to my heart.

Gu Chaoming had tears in his eyes, he was made to cry by Lin Jianfan's strong words.

After Gu Chaoming left him, Lin Jianfan suddenly became strong. He reserved a place for him when taking graduation photos, insisted on waiting for him for nine years, and told Gu Chaoming that he would waste it with him.

Before Lin Jianfan would not say these things, without Gu Chaoming, without the person he thought would go back to their rented home with him in college, Lin Jianfan forced himself to grow up, force himself to be strong, so that he could survive without Gu Chaoming was not hurt, so that he could give Gu Chaoming a hug with peace of mind.

Lin Jianfan said to Gu Chaoming with tears in his eyes: "I will wait for you to come out, and then we will fight for a better future together."

Gu Chaoming nodded.

Lin Jian Fan smiled happily.

In front of Gu Chaoming, he acted so strong. After he walked out of the prison, he put away his pre-formed strength.

The heavy weight in his heart was finally put down. Before Gu Chaoming nodded, he was really afraid that Gu Chaoming would refuse and told him not to wait any longer.

He is isolated and helpless, and Gu Chaoming is his only persistence.If his only persistence collapses, then he can only sit on the ground and cry bitterly, and be a wayward child protected by Gu Chaoming.

But he will no longer have Gu Chaoming for the next nine years.

Walking out of the prison and looking up at the fierce sun outside the prison, Lin saw Fan laughing, Gu Zhaoming did not refuse him, Gu Zhaoming nodded.

With people who are waiting, Lin Jianfan's life suddenly has hope, direction, and is full of fighting spirit.

The next day, Lin Jianfan got on the plane to F University and came to the university he had dreamed of since high school.

As soon as he arrived at the school, the weather gave him a blow.It may not be very comfortable, Lin Jianfan is slowly adapting to the unaccustomed environment and this new land with the passage of time.

The dormitory of F University is a four-person room with one bed and one table. Lin Jianfan found the dormitory by himself with a suitcase.

He was the last one to arrive in the dormitory. As soon as he opened the door, the other three people in the dormitory all looked back at him.

A cropped cut, a pair of glasses, a cool boy covered in fashion brands.

This was Lin Jianfan's first impression of his roommate. Who would have thought that within a month of getting along, Lin Jianfan would find out that their first impression was deceptive.

The boy with an inch head gave Lin Jianfan the coldest first impression. Lin Jianfan thought that he should be a quiet person. After all, when he first arrived in the dormitory, the inch head only took one look at him and then turned his head away.

Unexpectedly, Cun Tou is actually the old mother of the three people in their dormitory. He wakes them up every day, buys food when they don’t want to leave the dormitory, and turns off the lights at night. He is the most hardworking person in their dormitory.

At first glance, the guy with glasses and the fashion brand don’t belong to the same world, and they have no common topics at all, but they stay together every day, sit together in class, watch variety shows together when they have nothing to do in the dormitory, and have night talks at night, talking about the girls in their school and games.

When we first met, I thought they were all difficult people to get along with, but among them, the coolest-looking trendy man and the cut-headed guy were men who dare not hit cockroaches. In the end, I relied on Lin Jianfan and Sisiwenwen's glasses and slippers Shoot to death.

The glasses sleeping on Lin Jianfan's opposite bed are much stronger than the trendy guy who plays games with him every day, and his tongue is much more vicious.

A pair of gold-rimmed glasses rests on the bridge of the nose, rats and cockroaches are no problem, and after the filming, he has to "curse" the fashion brand men for being cowardly.

"No, it should be said that mice are more courageous than you."

But as soon as he took off his glasses, he lost his combat effectiveness, and he couldn't even speak venomously.Glasses are like his switch. Lin Jianfan once saw a trendy man snatching his glasses. The glasses man sat at the table and scolded him, while the trendy man was jumping around in the dormitory with his glasses.

Whenever these situations happen, Bunny always lies on the bed and shakes his head: "This is the contemporary college student."

The two people in the dormitory were arguing, the old lady was watching a play, and Lin Jianfan was always doing homework, sitting at the desk and studying.

Lin saw that Fan had far less time to go back to the dormitory than they did, so he decided to enrich himself and study hard in his college life.

People who interacted with him said that he worked too hard, and his roommates said the same, but he just wanted to make himself stronger and use his best state to meet the boy he had been waiting for for a long time.

He knew that Gu Chaoming wanted to see a vigorous self, not a decadent self.Dwelling on his own past pain will only make him blame himself.

Lin Jianfan learned to be strong, to hide his heart, and never mention it to others.Concealment is his strong point. He used to hide it alone for so long, and he was familiar with the road. His roommates thought he was a schoolmaster who was obsessed with studying all day long.

But no matter how strong he is, if he has to spend nine years alone, sometimes Lin Jianfan's fragility and loneliness cannot be covered up by his hard work.

A person came out of the library, bought some fruit and a bottle of yogurt, went back to the dormitory and opened the door, still alone.

The roommates didn't know where they were, and when they took out their mobile phones, they realized that several of them had sent him a message, asking him if he was going to eat?Studying in the library he didn't pay attention.

Seeing that it was not too early, Lin Jianfan sat in his seat, put the fruit on the table, and unscrewed the yogurt cover.

From a person walking out of the library back to a person's dormitory, from a person is still a person.After unscrewing the bottle cap and taking the first sip of yogurt, Lin Jianfan suddenly burst into tears.

At that moment, he suddenly missed Gu Chaoming very much.

He imagined that if Gu Chaoming was by his side, they should be in their rented home now, Gu Chaoming was cooking dinner in the kitchen, while he was learning cooking skills and making trouble.

Thinking of this, Lin saw that Fan Jian had endured the tears shed for so long.The yogurt in his hand is his favorite flavor, and it was also the flavor of yogurt that Gu Chaoming remembered in the supermarket on the day he took Gu Chaoming away from Gu Tao.

The past and the imagined future overwhelmingly weigh on Lin Jianfan, leading him to the territory of sadness.

Almost an hour later, the door of the dormitory opened, and the three of them walked into the dormitory after eating. What they saw was Lin Jianfan who was still studying hard.

He never seemed to have an emotional breakdown in a dormitory alone.

The roommates asked him if he had eaten and why he didn't reply to the message, he smiled and said he forgot.

There is a photo frame on Lin Jianfan's desk, and in the photo frame are the photos he took of Gu Chaoming during the sports meeting.

In the photo, Gu Chaoming is wearing a poor-quality white shirt, sitting on the school playground and laughing.It was the day of the opening ceremony of the sports meeting. Lin Jianfan was just passing by and took a photo secretly, but Gu Chaoming didn't know.

When his roommates asked him who was in the photo, Lin saw Fan only smiled, but the rest immediately understood what he meant, and said curiously, "Oh~ when will you bring it here for us to see."

What he couldn't see, Lin Jianfan thought, if he could, he would also want to see him, and wanted to fly back to meet him, thinking about it every day and night.

"He can't come." Lin Jianfan only said.

"Can't come? Is he far away from here?"

"That's it."

Lin Jianfan sometimes thinks, if those things hadn't happened and Gu Chaoming was still by his side, what would he be doing now.Will you accompany him to the library?Or playing games to sleep?Thinking of these things, he seemed to see that Gu Chaoming was by his side, always by his side.

Lin Jianfan's handsome appearance is also pursued by many people in college.Someone confessed to him, but he refused.

He can no longer hold anyone in his heart, and his side is always empty.Eat alone, watch movies alone, and go shopping alone in the supermarket, but he knows that on that day, the place next to him will always be filled by that person.He can eat with him, can go shopping with him, he will hold his hand, kiss his forehead, and call him little sweetheart.

In the past, all the girls who confessed to him were girls. When Lin Jianfan was about to graduate, he was stopped by a boy.

At that time, Lin Jianfan was preparing to go back to the dormitory with his roommate Cuntou. He heard someone calling him before he walked out of the teaching building. Lin Jianfan turned his head and saw a boy in a gray suit.

Lin Jianfan didn't know him, but he seemed to have seen him somewhere.

Seeing that Fan asked his roommate to go back to the dormitory first, he walked over and asked him, "Who are you?"

He thought it was someone who was looking for him through others, but Lin Jianfan often met someone who came to him through others, but the person said: "Just treat me as a stranger without a name."

Seeing that Fan was stunned, the man said, "I was saved by you before, from a group of punks."

Only then did Lin Jianfan suddenly realize that he had saved a person. In the past few years, Lin Jianfan couldn't remember what the person he saved was like when he thought of that incident.

The man in front of him said that he was the one who was saved by him. Seeing Fan looking at him, the man immediately said to him, "Actually, I like you, I have always liked you, and you are the driving force for my life to continue."

"I know you work hard and get good grades, so I also study hard and go to the same university as you. The university works hard to improve myself before I dare to confess."

"I may not be able to catch up with you with such good grades. At that time, I thought it was okay. If I didn't pass the exam, I could do it again. But now I know that no matter how much I like it, it's useless. You have someone waiting for you. You have someone you like. And I know that it is impossible for me to compare with that person in my life, so you should be together well."

Lin Jianfan was the one who held his hand and led him to escape in the snowy night, and it was the direction of his efforts in the rest of the world.

When Gu Chaoming did the thing that shocked the whole school, he was a sophomore in high school, the same grade as Qiu Cheng.

Where Lin Jianfan and Gu Chaoming didn't know, he paid attention to Lin Jianfan, and paid attention to Gu Chaoming who was kind to Lin Jianfan.

Knowing that Lin Jianfan was going back to school, he ran outside the third floor of the high school many times, wanting to thank Lin Jianfan, but he just wandered outside the building.

He also pays close attention to Gu Chaoming's affairs. When he learned that Gu Chaoming said that Lin Jianfan was being bullied in court, he actually wanted to testify for Gu Chaoming, but his family refused to let him, and he was also timid.

He always felt that it was his fault for not telling them, not testifying.He always thought so, and he also felt guilty for his third year review, but he didn't tell anyone, and kept holding back.

Now he looks very energetic, not at all like he was bullied in high school before. It is normal for Lin Jianfan not to recognize him, because he has changed too much.

Today is his birthday, he decided to let himself go, he went to Lin Jianfan to tell his thoughts.

He dressed up meticulously, and even bought a suit specially. His roommates said that he was going to confess, and he said yes.

Roommate Tao Kan asked him what kind of person he was, but he didn't tell them, and the roommates laughed at him.

He knew Lin Jianfan's whereabouts, he could easily find Lin Jianfan, and he found Lin Jianfan to say those words.

He will speak his heart to Lin Jianfan as a birthday present to himself.

Consider it a birthday present to yourself.

She clearly said she liked him, but she also knew that her liking was insignificant.That is his self-struggle, and that love is mixed with his pursuit.

Everyone must have light in their life, and there are cracks in everyone's life, that is where the light seeps in. When you look for the light of your own life, you may unintentionally become someone else's light, shining a warm glow from the gap. Positive.

He will never forget the night when Lin Jianfan was holding his hand and running under the street lamp, he stared at Lin Jianfan, the shadow of the lamp swaying on him, it was the first time someone was willing to help him.

He was always bullied before, shrunk, no one understood, cautious, he was his light.

Lin Jianfan accidentally became the light of others, but his light was still suffering in the darkness.

Lin Jianfan looked at his back.

He walked through the dark corridor, and at the end of the corridor was the sunshine.The spring was bright, and his figure was no longer shrinking like before. He straightened his back, wore a meticulous silver-gray suit, and waved to him as he walked without looking back.

It was a farewell gesture.

He didn't know if he was saying goodbye to Lin Jianfan, or the high school love that hadn't started, or the self who was always cowering in the corner.