the world in which he exists

The days of the third year of high school were filled with reviewing. During the overwhelming test papers and quizzes, Gu Chaoming learned to take a break from his busy schedule. He always stayed with Lin Jianfan on rest days or during breaks. He never corrected when Su Bing complained. show off.

In the tense moment of the third year of high school, who is the most free among the auspicious three treasures?Both Gu Chaoming and Cen Xili will definitely vote for Su Bing.

Gu Chaoming was just taking a break from his busy schedule, while Su Bing was completely free all day long.Classes in the third year of senior high school were strictly controlled, and almost no one didn't listen to the lectures. Cen Xili didn't know whether Su Bing was listening or not. He was alone in a daze in class, and only English class was the most jumpy.

Reminding him that the college entrance examination is coming soon, Su Bing is still not panicked at all, as if he has a chance to win.Although Su Bing looks carefree and gags everywhere, but Su Bing is the most visionary among the three of them, he can handle people well, and he is very popular among the elders, except his father.

Gu Chaoming felt that renting a house would take an indefinite amount of time. Su Bing could get him a lot of information in a short while, and even accompany him to look at the house. He rented the house he lives in at a price he didn't expect.

Gu Chaoming was very grateful to Su Bing and reminded Su Bing that the college entrance examination was about to let him study. Su Bing said to let them not worry, Gu Chaoming really had confidence in him.

In the days when Gu Chaoming was under the pressure of knowledge every day in the senior year of high school, Su Bing also talked about love.

Since Su Bing's true love senior graduated, Su Bing has been single for most of his senior year, and announced to them one afternoon that he has a girlfriend.

Gu Chaoming looked at Su Bing in disbelief but seemed to take it for granted. Who told him to be Su Bing? Anything could happen to him. It’s not his style to be ordinary, let alone just have a new girlfriend in the third year of high school. , Gu Chaoming was surprised and quickly accepted.

"Second year in high school?" Gu Chaoming asked.

As soon as Gu Chaoming's words came out, Su Bing was surprised: "How do you know?"

Gu Chaoming smiled mysteriously. He found that Su Bing liked to find girlfriends who were younger or older than him, but he didn't like to find girlfriends who were the same age as him.Su Bing didn't even notice it himself, but Gu Chaoming discovered it first.

Su Bing and his girlfriend broke up after being together for more than half a month. They didn't explain any specific reasons, and they didn't procrastinate at all, as if their relationship was no longer there.Gu Chaoming couldn't understand that feeling, he was still thinking about how to rent a room in the university.

Maybe it feels best not to understand Su Bing, Gu Chaoming thought.

Su Bing's lovelorn doesn't look sad at all, it's exactly the same as when he fell in love, he still doesn't know what he is doing in class, and he is alive and kicking after class.Gu Chaoming thought about it and said that Su Bing was like this throughout his senior year of high school, no matter whether he was in a relationship or not.

Su Bing's love for more than half a month in the third year of high school is like leaves falling by the pool. There is only a slight ripple when they are together and when they break up. Let Gu Chaoming and Cen Xili know the news. Gu Chaoming can forget Su Bing when he is busy. Talking about love.

Su Bing's love this time did not give them the sweetness of life as before, nor did he show off his romantic relationship. When Gu Chaoming showed his affection, Su Bing did not propose his girlfriend to resist.

Because of this, Su Bing's girlfriend has a low sense of existence among Gu Chaoming and Cen Xili, neither Gu Chaoming nor Cen Xili have seen Su Bing's girlfriend.Gu Chaoming asked Su Bing if he was playing around like before?

Su Bing looked at him, stared straight into his eyes for several seconds, until Gu Chaoming thought that Su Bing met "the second senior", but this time when it was a junior, Su Bing seemed to be lying again. He smiled at him: "My eyes just now were very affectionate, right? Hahahahaha..."

Gu Chaoming felt cheated, and felt that Su Bing's eyes just now were real, he couldn't tell the difference.

Gu Chaoming slapped Su Bing on the back angrily: "Why are you like Guan Hui? You speak so out of tune."

Su Bing smiled, and Gu Chaoming seemed to see the deep affection in Su Bing's eyes again, the lonely deep affection, Gu Chaoming couldn't tell, he felt that he was too careless, especially emotionally.

Gu Chaoming still wanted to ask, but Su Bing changed the subject to Guan Hui: "When you talk about Guan Hui, you haven't seen anyone else this semester. Why is he afraid of disturbing Xili? He's not even in his third year of high school."

Gu Chaoming did not mention Guan Hui who he met that night, and Guan Hui had not approached Cen Xili since that night in his third year of high school, which meant that he had listened to his words.Now that you have listened and given up, don't bother him anymore.

"Maybe... just give up." Gu Chaoming said.

Su Bing was silent, Gu Chaoming asked: "Don't you hate him?"

"I just hate him for being ambiguous and funny, and he doesn't have a regular look. The rest...he is pretty good," Su Bing said, "Maybe it's better to give up. I like to admit death and only like You Sanjin Xili is also quite tired."

Su Bing's tone was deep, with an old-fashioned and mature look, Gu Chaoming looked at him, he really couldn't tell whether the affection in Su Bing's eyes was true or false.

Su Bing's affectionate Gu Chaoming is not clear, but Li Zhao's liking for Shi Cancan is well known. As for whether Shi Cancan himself knows it, Gu Chaoming probably knows it.

Su Bing's love affair ended in a short period of a week, but if it was long, it could last a little longer. This is what Gu Chaoming said in a positive way.Su Bing's love time was short, and Li Zhao's secret love time was so long that he didn't know when it started, and he didn't know where it would end.

A few days ago, Su Bing teased Li Zhao as a "coward in love". A few days later, Li Zhao's love came to an end at the speed of light.

Li Zhao is Lin Jianfan's good brother, and he was the first person Lin Jianfan came to school to ask him to have dinner with and apologize to him.Lin Jianfan hadn't told Li Zhao about being with Gu Chaoming yet, and he hadn't planned on it yet.Lin saw that Fan didn't tell Li Zhao, but Li Zhao told him all about his "broken love".

Lin Jianfan, who can't comfort others, stutters and tries desperately to find a way to comfort Li Zhao who is broken in love.

Gu Chaoming came to look for Lin Jianfan with a book in his hand. Gu Chaoming was a little speechless, and finally squeezed out time in the afternoon to run out with Lin Jianfan to bask in the sun and review.He wanted to say something to Lin Jianfan that others would not listen to, but in the middle of the review, Su Bing and Cen Xili came to him to bask in the sun with them, so Gu Chaoming could only really review.

Gu Chaoming helplessly covered the book on his face, he thought that the group of four was the most crowded today, and within a few minutes Li Zhao came over again and called Lin Jianfan away.

Gu Chaoming: "???? My wonderful afternoon!!!"

Seeing that Fan was not around, Lin Su Bing yelled in his ear again, Gu Chaoming wanted to sleep with his book under his cover.

After basking in the sun together until class was about to start, Gu Chaoming, Su Bing, and Cen Xili walked over to look for Lin Jianfan to return to the teaching building.

Walking over, Li Zhao looked disappointed. Before Gu Chaoming could ask, Lin Jianfan secretly mouthed him and told him not to ask.

Unlike Lin Jianfan and Gu Chaoming, Su Bing walked over and put his arm on Li Zhao's shoulder: "What's wrong? Brother."

Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan who was staying with Li Zhao, and asked with his eyes, "What's wrong with Li Zhao?"

Seeing that Fan hadn't answered Gu Chaoming with his eyes, Li Zhao said first, "It's nothing serious, I just broke up with him."

Reluctant tone.

As soon as Su Bing heard it, he said as if he had tasted the lovelorn together through thick and thin, "What's the big deal? She rejected you?"

Li Zhao shook his head, Su Bing frowned slightly: "Why did you lose your love when you didn't reject you? She asked you to wait, let her think clearly?"

This is not considered broken love, but may be preparing to break up in love.

Li Zhao didn't speak and didn't shake his head. Su Bing patted Li Zhao's shoulder: "Brother, you can do it. After so many years of secret love, I finally dare to confess. I have to have confidence in myself and love for so many years. Shi Cancan said wait, it means that she is still Considering you, or liking you, not completely rejecting..."

Su Bing came as soon as he spoke comforting words, Lin Jian Fan admired him, he stumbled and had nothing to say for a long time, Su Bing just came to comfort him, but he got the comforting question wrong at the beginning.

"What?" Li Zhao interrupted Li Zhao who was comforting him, "I'm really hopeless, I've seen her with other boys."

One sentence made Su Bing's previous words in vain.

Su Bing stopped talking and pursed his lips.After Li Zhao finished speaking, no one spoke again, and the class bell inserted awkwardly at this moment.

Li Zhao stood up: "I'm going back to class first."

Those who stayed behind looked at me and I looked at you, and returned to the classroom under the urging of the bell.

Li Zhao's lovelorn in the stable days of the third year of high school was gradually buried in the overwhelming homework.A week after Li Zhao broke up in love, Gu Chaoming learned another piece of news from Lin Jianfan that made him puzzled—Li Zhao was going to confess his love!

Um?When Gu Chaoming heard the news, his head was full of question marks: "Who will he confess to? Does he like someone else?"

"And Shi Cancan." Lin Jianfan said.

"Shi Cancan? Doesn't she have a boyfriend? Li Zhao said it himself."

"That's Shi Cancan's elder brother. Li Zhao saw it when he came back to pick her up from school a few days ago, and then Li Zhao thought it was Shi Cancan's boyfriend."

Shi Cancan's boyfriend turned into a brother?

Gu Chaoming never thought that such a bloody thing would happen to him.

As soon as he learned from Lin Jianfan that Li Zhao was going to confess to Shi Cancan, Gu Chaoming immediately received a message from Su Bing. Su Bing persuaded him to see Li Zhao's confession just as he had advised him to see his girlfriend when he started his sophomore year of high school.

"Does Li Zhao not mind?" Gu Chaoming asked.

"Not at all, he is quite happy." Su Bing said.

He actually arrived at the scene after school, and hid not far away without any hidden skills, waiting for the two confession protagonists to arrive.Su Bingshan came late, and Gu Chaoming knew the reason why Li Zhao agreed to their coming.

Su Bing handed each of them a rose, and he still had a big bag of things in his hand. How did Gu Chaoming feel so familiar with this instant sight?

He and You Xin competed in the previous sports meeting, and Su Bing also had such a big battle.

Li Zhao had the guts to believe in Su Bing, and Gu Chaoming could imagine how embarrassing this confession would be, but before Gu Chaoming could wait for the embarrassing moment, he received a call.

Gu Chaoming was busy worrying about Li Zhao, while Su Bing arranged for Shi Cancan to hand flowers when he came, while taking out the cell phone that kept ringing in his pocket.

"Hello." Gu Chaoming picked it up.

"When the crying bag comes, Xi Li, you will be the first one, Jian Fan, you will be the second, Gu Shuai will be the third, and I will be the last. I will take you to the place where you are going to stand later, don't mess around." Su Bing Like his father, he looks like a leader, arranging what everyone will do during Li Zhao's confession process.

Su Bing once jokingly said like the rich second generation in the TV series: "I don't want to be like my father. I don't want to inherit my family's property."

Now he looks like a leader, Cen Xili laughed at him: "Actually, you are quite like your father."

Su Bing had to admit it even if he didn't want to: "He is my father, how can I not be like him?"

Smiling at Cen Xili, he found that Gu Chaoming was answering the phone, Su Bingfang spoke softly so as not to disturb Gu Chaoming, but when he took another look at Gu Chaoming, Gu Chaoming's brisk expression before answering the phone suddenly became serious.

Gu Chaoming froze like a Beijing opera changing face.

Seeing his strange appearance, Su Bing reached out to pat him and asked what was wrong.

Su Bing just stretched out his hand, before touching Gu Chaoming who was stiff for a moment.

The rose in Gu Chaoming's hand fell to the ground.

As if announcing something.

The bright roses fell on the asphalt road, and the fine dust that was thrown up slipped into the gaps between the petals.The falling roses attracted everyone's attention except Gu Chaoming.

Gu Chaoming stood there blankly, keeping his arms in the posture of answering the phone. The other end of the phone kept saying something. Gu Zhaoming listened, his eyes gradually became dull, as if he was trying to grasp something to rely on.

Within one phone call, Gu Chaoming suddenly felt that the world had changed.Hearing the words of the person on the other end of the phone and understanding the meaning, Gu Chaoming's thoughts seemed to be weighed down by a heavy weight, so heavy that he couldn't believe it.The weight was removed, and then the thoughts floated out of the body lightly.

For a moment, unbelievable gravity and an unreal sense of nothingness enveloped him.

The person on the other end of the phone was still talking, confirming to him that Gu Chaoming's thoughts were shocked by the sudden news, and the rose that he couldn't hold in his hand fell to the ground, but he still answered the other party politely consciously, as if he was serious. listen.

The people who were busily preparing to confess to Li Zhao were all still, their eyes stayed on the falling rose for a moment and then shifted to Gu Chaoming.

Being stared at by his brother and boyfriend together, Gu Chaoming didn't feel anything, he was still talking to each other.Lin Jianfan didn't dare to leave Gu Chaoming's face with worried eyes.

Gu Chaoming was on the phone all the time, and Lin saw that Fan was constantly rubbing his index finger and thumb on the rose stem worried about Gu Chaoming.The thorns of the roses bought from the flower shop were peeled off, and the skin was scraped off under Lin Jianfan's nervous rubbing.

The audience was serious and quiet, waiting for Gu Chaoming to finish answering the phone.

After hanging up the phone, Gu Chaoming realized that his hands were empty. Looking down, the rose fell to the ground. He squatted down to pick it up. Su Bing was the first to react and asked worriedly, "What's wrong?"

Gu Chaoming's complexion changed so quickly that Lin Jianfan was a little afraid to speak.

Picking up the roses on the ground, Gu Chaoming patted the dust on the roses, as if he didn't care, and said in the tone of "my mother told me to bring a bag of salt": "The police called me just now. Said my dad died and overdosed on drugs."

The shocking content in the words, under the cover of Gu Chaoming's calm tone, took two or three seconds to get everyone's exclamation.

"What? Your father?" Su Bing had the biggest and fastest reaction.

Cen Xili held the rose in his hand in silence, his mouth slightly opened to reveal his surprise when he heard Gu Chaoming's words.

Gu Chaoming turned to look at Lin Jianfan who was beside him, and Lin Jianfan was looking at him.Lin saw that Fan was introverted and calm, and he was only so lively in front of him.Seeing that Fan didn't speak, Gu Chaoming read surprise and worry in his eyes, as well as his own bewilderment.

Gu Tao left?Gu Tao, who asked others to send money to Gu Chaoming a month ago, left?Lin Jianfan looked at Gu Chaoming who was not quite right after hearing the news, he couldn't open his mouth for a while, he didn't know what to say, whether it was comfort or what, he didn't know.

He just looked at Gu Chaoming like this, Gu Chaoming told him not to worry and smiled.After smiling at Lin Jianfan, Gu Chaoming stretched out his hand that didn't hold the rose, and slapped the worried Lin Jianfan on the head: "He's dead, why are you so worried?"

Seeing that Fan grabbed Gu Chaoming's hand, Lin plucked up the courage to express his concern for Gu Chaoming in front of Su Bing and Cen Xili for the first time, which indirectly pierced Gu Chaoming's disguise.

"I'm not worried about your dad, I'm worried about you."

Lin saw Fan looking at Gu Chaoming who didn't look so good, but Gu Chaoming still smiled: "What are you worried about me?"

Gu Chaoming omitted a sentence.

I'm too happy to be there.

Why not?Because you don't think so, because you don't want to lie?

Didn't you just want him to die?If he dies, you will be freed!Why are you unhappy?Because Gu Tao gave you money before he died?Or as a son can't say it?

Gu Chaoming could not deny that after knowing Gu Tao's death, he felt a sense of relief in his heart, but he really couldn't say that sentence.

Just take it as being too soft-hearted, Gu Chaoming thought.

Gu Tao has already left this world, Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan who was in the world where Gu Tao left, and looked at Cen Xili and Su Bing.

An extreme sense of unreality enveloped him.

Seeing everyone's worried faces for him, he understood Lin Jianfan's thoughts and fears at that moment. He was afraid that they would talk about it, and he was afraid of seeing their worried expressions on their faces.

He chose to pretend that he didn't care.

You know what kind of person Gu Tao is, don't you?Haven't you been beaten enough?

You should be relieved and happy when he is dead, Gu Chaoming thought.

Gu Chaoming, who is inexperienced in the world, doesn't understand the world, and is careless about feelings, can't understand his mood at this moment. He just tries to smile, pretends not to care, and passes the rose to Su Bing in the most ordinary gesture: "I I still have to talk to my mother about it, I won't participate in Li Zhao's confession, I'll go to my mother first."

After finishing speaking, Gu Chaoming turned his head and said specifically to Lin Jianfan: "I'm going first."

Lin Jianfan didn't nod or shake his head.

Gu Chaoming waved at them, Lin Jianfan kept staring at his back until Gu Chaoming disappeared into the dusk.

Gu Chaoming didn't know what was wrong with him, and his consciousness urged him to call Qu Yingyi.He didn't want Qu Yingyi and Gu Tao to get involved again, but Gu Chaoming knew that this was not something he could handle alone.

After hanging up the phone, Gu Chaoming walked on the side of the road blankly.There was a lot of traffic on the road, the red light at the rear of the car was on, and pedestrians on the side of the road walked quickly.

Everyone was at their own pace, but Gu Chaoming felt surrounded by a sense of distortion.

It turns out that the world without Gu Tao is like this. Gu Chaoming is like a creature who has just arrived in this world, accepting this new world bit by bit, accepting the fact that Gu Tao died in a place he didn't know.

The sense of distortion wrapped him up like a silkworm chrysalis.

Gu Chaoming saw Qu Yingyi in the sense of distortion, and handled Gu Tao's funeral with Qu Yingyi in the sense of distortion.

The sense of distortion that enveloped him saw Gu Tao's body being carried out, and he fell to the ground without his armor and armor.

Gu Chaoming has never tried the feeling of falling heavily into reality from the sky.

This is the first time that Gu Chaoming faced death in his adult life.

The death of a father who had been domestically violent for many years.

Seeing the corpse wrapped in white cloth, Gu Chaoming felt that his lacrimal glands were made of stone, because he couldn't shed a single tear, so he just looked at it, like looking at a truck loaded in a factory.

The heart is a covered well, oppressed and breathless.

Fallen leaves pay attention to returning to their roots, and when her son died, even though her grandmother knew that her son was rebellious, she still cried for him, her bad eyes were full of tears.Grandma wanted to bury Gu Tao's body on the mountain beside her home, Qu Yingyi took Gu Chaoming back to her hometown without any objection to the old man's wish.

After hearing enough gossip from the neighbors, after Gu Tao gave him money, Gu Chaoming asked Zhou Han what he heard from the neighbors, trying to piece together a truth that might not be the truth from the gossip of the neighbors.

He wanted to know what Gu Tao did to get so much money when he didn't know.

Some people said that Gu Tao was tricked into MLM, that's why he said he was going to make a fortune at that time.Some people said that Gu Tao went out to do business, and some said that Gu Tao owed a lot of money playing cards, so he hid outside, and he didn't even want his son.

There are many kinds of theories, but Gu Chaoming felt that they were too outrageous when he wanted to piece them together.Until he returned to his hometown, amidst the mourning music and the cries of the fleeing grandma, Gu Chaoming learned from Qu Yingyi that Gu Tao was tricked into taking drugs, and then tricked into pyramid schemes.

He felt that Gu Tao had two outrageous things at once, and Gu Chaoming, who had always been in disbelief, heard Qu Yingyi say these things at this moment in the small room behind the mourning hall. horrible.

Gu Chaoming opened the small closed door and walked out. The white-haired grandma was seeing off the black-haired one. As soon as he opened the door, he heard her cry.

Grandma has bad eyesight and bad legs.Gu Chaoming didn't come back often, and he didn't come back much during the Chinese New Year. He didn't know this little old lady very well.Gu Chaoming knew that it was his grandma, but he didn't have the intimacy of ordinary people and grandma.Seeing grandma crying so sadly, Gu Chaoming wanted to go over and comfort her, but couldn't speak, and couldn't say anything.

With a comforting heart, Gu Chaoming walked past grandma.After passing by, I regretted it, waited outside for a while, walked in pretending to have something to do, sat next to grandma, patted the little old lady on the back, and advised her not to be too sad.

At the funeral, Gu Chaoming, who was about 1.8 meters tall, watched the adults busy and felt that he couldn't help much.He didn't know the process of the funeral either, so he could only help out when someone called him.

After the funeral, which couldn't be of much help, Gu Chaoming and Qu Yingyi took an extra day off at home for Gu Chaoming's grandma.

Grandma lost her husband and son, and lived alone in her hometown.Qu Yingyi has a new home, Gu Chaoming lives alone after Gu Tao left, no one can take care of this little old lady.

After the funeral, the home returned to its usual desertedness. Gu Chaoming carried his luggage and got into the car, sitting by the car window watching Qu Yingyi and grandma talking on the side of the road.

When Qu Yingyi got into the car, grandma was still standing by the side of the road.The car started, and grandma was still standing on the side of the road.

Gu Chaoming stared out the window, the old lady was short and the car was driving so fast, the short old lady disappeared from Gu Chaoming's sight in a blink of an eye.

Maybe we will never see each other again, Gu Chaoming didn't know why he thought so when he looked away.

Qu Yingyi handed him a bottle of water: "Now that your father is gone, my mother is worried about you being alone at home. You are about to take the college entrance examination, and my mother wants to say... take you over to live with me."

I heard this similar sentence again. The last time was when I first met Lin Jianfan. Now that he is about to graduate from high school, I heard this sentence again.

The last time he waited was to maintain the image of a good mother in his heart, so what about this time?

What about the old lady who didn't like him?Will she let him live in it?

Gu Chaoming wanted to say that he could do it alone, but he didn't want Qu Yingyi to know that he rented a house outside, which was his and Lin Jianfan's home. It was too risky for Qu Yingyi to know, but Qu Yingyi As if reading his mind, she said to him: "Yuanyuan's grandma doesn't live with us anymore, she and Yuanyuan's grandpa went to live with his eldest son."

Gu Chaoming remained silent, agreeing that living in the past would be an unknown journey for Qu Yingyi, and Gu Chaoming did not want to break the present tranquility.

He wanted to stay at home with Lin Jianfan after going back, and slowly forget Gu Tao, Gu Tao's death, Gu Tao's beating, Gu Tao's insults and madness with the most ordinary life.

Everything can be forgotten, Gu Chaoming quietly touched the circular scar on the back of his hand, this place cannot be forgotten, as well as the beating thing under the chest.

Gu Chaoming didn't want to agree to Qu Yingyi, he turned his head to look at Qu Yingyi, but when he really wanted to tell Qu Yingyi that he could do it alone, he dared not look into Qu Yingyi's eyes.

Gu Chaoming glanced at Qu Yingyi, then withdrew his flinching gaze: "I can find a house by myself."

The second he said these words, he already felt Qu Yingyi's guilt. He quickly used his joking skills, and laughed even if he didn't want to laugh: "What was it like when I lived in the past, although I also want to Round, but I still want to live alone, how free."

Gu Chaoming said with a smile, Qu Yingyi looked at him speechless.

It was a rest day when I went back, and when I returned to Lin Jianfan's house, Gu Chaoming unpacked his luggage and put away his things in a very calm manner.

After packing his luggage, Gu Chaoming sat on the sofa and wanted to take a shower.The house is still the same as before, Gu Chaoming sat on the sofa and looked around, the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, bedroom...

Looking around a person's home, Gu Chaoming went to the bedroom and took out the cigarettes he had locked in the cabinet.

He hasn't smoked for a long time, and today he took it out again for some reason.

Sit back on the sofa and light one. After quitting, the smell is still familiar. At this time, the smoke seems to be a perfect match for his mood and the silence at home.

The windows were not open and the smell of smoke was trapped in the living room.The sound of the door opening made Gu Chaoming, who was thinking about something, suddenly took a puff of cigarettes and coughed continuously on the sofa.

Only he and Lin Jianfan had the key to this house. Before Gu Chaoming could put out the smoke, he was caught by Lin Jianfan while coughing on the sofa.

"Why are you smoking again? Didn't you stop smoking?" Lin Jianfan walked up to him and asked.

There was no ashtray on the coffee table, so Gu Chaoming just found something on the coffee table that could extinguish cigarettes and pressed the cigarette butts out, then went to the French windows and opened them.

The wind blowing from Xia Chun into the room was neither cool nor warm, so Gu Chaoming pulled Lin Jianfan to sit on the sofa and leaned on his shoulder.

"My mother told me to move to live with her." Gu Chaoming said.

"Then what do you mean?" Lin Jianfan asked.

"Me?" Gu Chaoming looked at the extinguished cigarette on the coffee table and shook his head, "I refused."

Gu Chaoming suddenly changed the subject: "See Fan, I told you at the beach that I once wanted to kill my father, right?"

Seeing Fan nodded, Lin took Gu Chaoming's hand: "Don't think about it, he has already left."

"I know."

Lin Jianfan took Gu Chaoming's hand and stroked the circular scar on Gu Chaoming's hand.

Gu Chaoming leaned on his shoulder and said slowly: "Before I met you, I thought I was just like this, with poor grades and no motivation to study, chaotic.

"When I heard the saying that the son of a mouse can make holes, I was actually quite afraid. I was afraid that I would become like my father, drinking, beating, and being violent.

"After you saw my ugliness, I just wanted to find a hole to burrow into. Later, I realized that my life could still be changed, and it could get better little by little. It turned out that I was still somewhat saved, but when I When my life got better, he appeared again, and I thought he was asking for money again. I really wanted to kill him, you know, as if killing him would make my life better.

"I was afraid that after he appeared, my life would go back to the same place, back to the room with a wet roof. I used to think that I would spend some time in my life in prison, but now he Dead. He died himself, I didn't kill him, he just died, I don't know what I should do now."

Gu Chaoming spoke slowly, he could speak his mind to Lin Jianfan.He would only tell Lin Jianfan what he buried in his heart, and other people could not be trusted.When he was in his hometown, Gu Chaoming really wanted to tell Lin Jianfan, but Lin Jianfan was not around.

He held back, and after returning home, he waited until Lin Jianfan came to look for him, and then he spoke slowly.

Gu Chaoming expressed his thoughts in a calm tone, as if it was not a big deal, Lin Jianfan touched the circular scar on Gu Chaoming's hand and answered him in a calm tone: "He is your father, he was not killed by you. , His death has nothing to do with you, even if you thought about killing him, it's not your fault that he died."

Lin Jianfan paused and said, "A good life is what you strive for, not someone can bring it to you, and neither can I, but I can strive for it together with you."

Hearing Lin Jianfan's words, Gu Chaoming felt much more at ease. Lin Jianfan was not a good comforter, and even he thought his words were useless, but in Gu Chaoming's mind, they were the best medicine.

He wanted to hear Lin Jianfan's comfort.

They sat in the living room for a long time, and Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan chatted for a long time, from Gu Tao to Li Zhao's confession that he missed the day he left.

He knew through Lin Jianfan that Li Zhao's secret love long-distance race ended that day.

Shi Cancan rejected him, even though he liked her for so many years.

Li Zhao, who was rejected, forced a smile. He tried his best to persuade himself not to make a fool of himself in front of Shi Cancan even if he was rejected.

He thought it was time to give up.

Nothing has changed, just a man who has loved her for over a decade has given up

Nothing had changed, except that the beast that had trapped him for 18 years had died of its own accord.

The wind blowing from spring to summer outside the window, Gu Chaoming watched Lin Jianfan caressing his circular scar hand.

The summer he was looking forward to was coming soon.

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