the world in which he exists

The sky outside the window darkened into the darkness of the last night of this year, and the sound of various jubilant New Year's programs on the TV lingered in the living room.

The sound of the jubilant program was blocked outside the door, Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan sat in the room bored with nothing to do.I wanted to go out to help, but the three elders in the family completely treated the two of them as three-year-old children, telling them not to worry about other things, and just have fun during the New Year.

The bored Gu Chaoming sat back on the chair with his chin resting on the back of the chair, his arms wrapped around the back of the chair, chatting with Su Bing on the phone.

"That's enough, is this formation enough to handle the mother-in-law?"

Knowing that Gu Chaoming was celebrating the New Year at Lin Jianfan's house, Su Bing never stopped gossiping.

Gu Chaoming received a text message from Liu Yi asking why he was not at home. Gu Chaoming didn't want to lie to Liu Yi and told Liu Yi the truth.

Liu Yi came home late this year for the New Year, and heard from Zhou Han that he brought his girlfriend back this time.Zhou Han didn't read it last year, but this year he ran over to see her.

Liu Yi is the childhood big brother of their group of children. The big brother is going to get married, and each of the grown-up teenagers has become the same gossip heart as Su Bing.

Gu Chaoming didn't look at it last time, and he didn't look at it this time. He only looked at a photo sent by Zhou Xin.

"This is our future sister-in-law."

Gu Chaoming clicked on the photo sent to him by the Zhou letter.The photo was secretly taken by Zhou Han, a girl with long hair, who looks very gentle from the profile.

Brother Liu Yi is getting married, Gu Chaoming looked at the photo of their sister-in-law and thought.

It was known that Liu Yi was going to get married during the Chinese New Year last year, but it had just been decided at that time. Gu Chaoming was busy blessing, and today he talked with Liu Yi about the wedding date, and Gu Chaoming felt that Liu Yi was really going to be a husband.

The big brother who bought him green good mood at the beginning is getting married.

Realizing that Liu Yi is about to become a married man, the change of identity made Gu Chaoming feel Liu Yi's growth on the last day of the year, and thus feel his own growth.

They are all growing up, Liu Yi is no longer their big brother in high school, he has become a man in charge.

The legs of the stool were tilted up, and Gu Chaoming was stunned for a moment. Can he also become a man who takes care of himself like Liu Yi?

The door was pushed open, Gu Chaoming turned his head, Lin Jianfan pushed the door into the room with snacks in his hand, Gu Chaoming stared at him closely.

Can he become an independent man in the future?In the past 17 years, he was unable to protect his mother under Gu Tao's violence, so he must protect Lin Jianfan who is covered in scars no matter what.

Seeing Lin Jianfan walking into the room with snacks, Gu Chaoming kept laughing at Lin Jianfan without realizing it.

"What are you laughing at? Is there anything funny?" Lin Jianfan asked when he saw Gu Chaoming staring at him and giggling as soon as he entered the door.

"No, just have a happy Chinese New Year." Gu Chaoming said no, but the more he talked and laughed, the happier he became, and finally he couldn't help laughing out loud.

There is no reason, just because I think of you and I am very happy.

The 17-year-old Gu Chaoming spent the New Year alone at home, then to his mother's new home, and then back home again.Among them, the way to and from, the unwelcome words, and the embarrassing New Year's Eve dinner, Gu Chaoming didn't feel angry, but only felt lonely.

There is a long secret forest growing in his heart, and his loneliness makes the fireworks outside the window extraordinarily beautiful.

Just one year later, on the new year, Gu Chaoming couldn't imagine that he was at Lin Jianfan's house, and Lin Jianfan was his boyfriend.

Within a year, many things happened. Gu Chaoming went from the loneliness of last year to the New Year's Eve dinner this year without paying attention.

"Happy New Year!"

The table was full of steaming meals, and the warm and soft lights in the dining room seemed to become lively and joyful amid the clinking of celebratory glasses.

Gu Chaoming never thought that his new year would be like this.

Beside him is his boyfriend, and opposite is his boyfriend's parents and grandma.Although he was the only one among them who was not bound by blood, Gu Chaoming didn't feel uncomfortable. What he felt was the opposite warmth from last year's New Year.

Lin Jianfan asked him on the car home from his previous school: "Will life be better?"

It's going to be fine, you see, my life has become so much better.

After the meal, Lin's father and Lin's mother talked at the table at the end. The adults had something to talk about, and Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan set off fireworks at the door.

When the flames of the fireworks illuminated Lin Jianfan's face, Gu Chaoming couldn't take his eyes off Lin Jianfan's face.What I saw on my phone on the way home last year is now literally in front of my eyes.

Happiness is easy, loneliness is unforgettable.Seeing Fan waving fireworks, Gu Chaoming stood aside, thinking about the loneliness of last year and enjoying the beauty of this year.

As beautiful as a dream, like the future he planned.

The future is far away, the rallying point of all that is good.

He stepped into the future he planned in one fell swoop.

After the fireworks burned out, Gu Chaoming looked back at the empty living room, and walked up to Lin Jianfan.

"Happy New Year." Gu Chaoming hugged Lin Jianfan.

The burnt fireworks in his hands fell to the ground, and Lin saw Fan Hui hugging Gu Chaoming.

"Happy New Year."

There was a smile in Lin Jianfan's words, which rustled in Gu Chaoming's ears.

They hugged, and after they hugged, they walked outside the house regardless of the cold, holding hands, and walked through the remaining snow to finish the New Year.

The tail of Valentine's Day is always dragged behind the New Year every year.Gu Chaoming has always known that he is a greedy person, not only as far away as Valentine's Day, but also as far as the end of the Valentine's Day, and as close as the next day's New Year's Day, he has to make reservations early.

This year Cen Xili did not return to his hometown for the New Year. He and Su Bing did not know the reason and the story behind Lin Jianfan's leave, but they were still planning to implement last year's light bulb plan.

How could Gu Chaoming, who was very familiar with them, not know their trick, and bought two movie tickets next to each other early on to break their plan.

The same comedy movie as last year, when watching the movie, like last year, sneak out from time to time and stare at Lin Jianfan who is sitting next to him.The difference is that this year Gu Chaoming is more daring. With the title of boyfriend, Gu Chaoming became "rampant" in a sold-out movie theater.

Touching Lin Jianfan's hand in the dark movie theater, and leaning closer to Lin Jianfan's ear with the excuse of talking small things, Gu Chaoming felt like he was having a brain twitch after the last thing was done?

He knew that there seemed to be some kind of infrared surveillance in the cinema, and he could see it clearly, but he couldn't control himself.

In a dark theater, sitting next to someone you like but not letting you touch it, isn't that a sin?

The tip of his tongue retracted from Lin Jianfan's auricle, his blood was boiling inside, but he still tried to pretend to be calm on the surface.

After watching the movie and walking out of the cinema, last year I was still in the mood to discuss the plot, but this year Gu Chaoming only remembered the touch of Lin Jianfan's ear pinna with the tip of his tongue.

Seeing Lin Jianfan's pinnae, the tip of his tongue grinning his lips, in the dark theater, it seemed that there was a small electric current passing through the tip of his tongue, stabbing all the way, so electric that Gu Chaoming walked out of the movie theater and was teased by Su Bing without responding.

Su Bing deliberately pulled Cen Xili to walk ahead, leaving room for Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan.

Su Bing whispered to Cen Xili: "You know, when Gu Shuai falls in love, he tends to overestimate his sex and despise his friends."

Cen Xili snickered a few times, together with Su Bing, he quietly turned his head to look at the two people behind him, and then turned his head and snickered again after watching.

The two chatted and talked about separation. When Su Bing got into the car, Gu Chaoming kicked him in retaliation, and said to Su Bing with his eyes: "Don't think I don't know that you two are laughing at me."

Su Bing was still laughing after closing the door.

After seeing off Su Bing and Cen Xili after watching the movie, Gu Chaoming did not send Lin Jianfan home to end today's activities. Gu Chaoming took him to live a real two-person world and did not go home until evening.

Lin Jianfan and his mother sent a message saying that they would go home later today. Lin's mother knew that he was with Gu Chaoming, and Gu Chaoming would definitely protect Lin Jianfan.The first day of the Lunar New Year was also when the children were having fun, and Mama Lin only answered "yes".

When he was sent home by Gu Chaoming, Lin Jianfan thought that his future life would be the worrying eyes of his parents and the freedom to be controlled, maybe even worse, Lin Jianfan was afraid that his parents would consider transferring him, so he dared not say that he was sent home. bullying thing.

He was afraid of transferring schools and leaving Gu Chaoming.

He thought about how he would persuade his mother if his mother persuaded him to transfer to another school, but he never thought that Gu Chaoming could use his efforts to persuade his mother to trust him as the mother of the whole world.

It will be easier to explain their relationship to their mother in the future.

Every time he said that he was with Gu Chaoming, Lin Jianfan was very happy when his mother reassured her with the word "good", as if this good word meant her mother accepted their relationship.

Lin saw that because of his mother's good word "smug", he didn't pay attention to his feet, and when he slipped or stabbed, he was about to fall, Gu Chaoming immediately stretched out his hand to support him.

Neither sooner nor later, he grabbed Lin Jianfan's hand without letting him fall.The person is fine, but the shoe somehow detached from the foot and stepped on the ground.

Supporting Lin Jianfan, seeing Lin Jianfan's off shoes, Gu Chaoming wanted to hold back, but he couldn't help laughing at all.Smiling and squatting down, Lin Jianfan seemed to be angry with him, not letting him help him put on his shoes, and stepped into the shoes on the ground.

"Hey, ancestor, your socks are wet, you stepped on the ground, and it's uncomfortable to wear, so you just put them on." Gu Chaoming said.

"Who told you to laugh at me?"

"Hey, don't go," Gu Chaoming grabbed him, "You really failed at school."

He said that he was bad at school, and seemed to dislike him, but in his heart he hoped that Lin Jianfan would become more "bad".

Lin Jianfan became worse and more willful, which means that the more he trusts you, the more he likes you.

It sounded a bit arrogant, Gu Chaoming smiled.Lin Jianfan's constant capriciousness and petty temper made Gu Chaoming feel like he was back in the last semester when Lin Jianfan acted like a baby and wanted to drink two bottles of yogurt.

He thought he had won Lin Jianfan's trust again, and made Lin Jianfan like this world again. What he didn't know was that Lin Jianfan had always believed in him. He didn't know that Lin Jianfan just liked this world where he existed.

Gu Chaoming occupied Lin Jianfan's New Year's Day, and was not satisfied with going to Lin Jianfan's house to see him every day like before the Chinese New Year. He must also occupy Lin Jianfan's Valentine's Day.

There seems to be no reason to take Lin Jianfan out to play on Valentine's Day. Through Lin Jianfan, Gu Chaoming also knows that Lin's parents and Lin's mother are loving, and they send messages to each other every Valentine's Day.This shows that Lin's mother must know that today is Valentine's Day. Wouldn't it be too blatant to tell Lin's mother that she would take Lin Jianfan out on Valentine's Day?

Gu Chaoming looked sad because of this, Lin Jianfan thought he had something on his mind.

"How did you tell your mother about going out on Valentine's Day? Will your mother suspect us?" Gu Chaoming asked with his head resting on Lin Jianfan's lap.

Lin Jianfan leaned against the back of the bed and ran his fingers through Gu Chaoming's hair, and said something that Gu Chaoming didn't expect.

"Actually, I want to try telling my mother that we go out to play together, and see how she responds."

He wanted to know, he wanted to test to see if his mother saw the clues, or if he regarded Gu Chaoming as a brother like she said during the New Year.

Gu Chaoming said worriedly: "But will that kind of probing make your mother, who was not suspicious at first, suspicious?"

"This..." Lin Jianfan only wanted to test it out, but he didn't expect this level.

"Then why don't I go out first and say that I don't come if I have something to do, and then you tell your mother that I have something to see you, and then you come out?" Gu Chaoming suggested.

Lin Jianfan touched Gu Chaoming's forehead with his fingers: "Why bother?"

"It's just..." Gu Chaoming paused for a moment, "I just want to take you out, Valentine's Day, this is our first Valentine's Day after we are together, we will definitely come out."

Lin saw Fan slightly bent down and lowered his head, scratching Gu Chaoming's nose with his fingers: "I see, I will find a way."

"En." Gu Chaoming nodded, and raised his waist to kiss Lin Jianfan's approaching lips.

A knock on the door interrupted Gu Chaoming's upper body.

As soon as there was a knock on the door, Gu Chaoming immediately got up from the posture of lying on Lin Jianfan's lap, moved to the table and randomly picked up a book to read.

Lin Ma walked into the room and saw a scene full of knowledge.

From time to time, Lin's mother pushed the door open like a checker, and she was not absent on Valentine's Day when Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan were thinking about how to get out.

Mama Lin pushed the door open again, Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan put away the Valentine's Day atmosphere, and looked at Mama Lin with expressions of wondering what Mama Lin was going to do.

Lin's father stood behind Lin's mother, both of them changed their clothes and were about to go out.

When meeting Papa Lin for the first time, Gu Chaoming thought he was a well-mannered man. Later, he often went to Lin Jianfan's house. Gu Chaoming found that Papa Lin was actually a man of few words, but this did not hinder his love for Mama Lin. and his romance.

On Valentine's Day, not only Lin Jianfan wants to go out, but Lin's parents and Lin's mother also want to go out.The two came over just to tell them, Lin Jianfan took the opportunity to tell his mother that they were going out too, and attached a reason for studying, pretending not to know that today is Valentine's Day to deceive Lin's mother.

The problem of going out, which has been worrying for so long, was solved so easily. Gu Chaoming, who was sitting on the seat, didn't say a word but was a little confused. Before Lin Ma closed the door, she asked Gu Chaoming to help take Lin Jianfan.

The problem was solved so quickly that Gu Chaoming was stunned.

Lin Jianfan, who was sitting by the bed, came over with a smile on his face and whispered to him, "We'll go out later when my parents go out."

Going out went so smoothly that Gu Chaoming couldn't imagine, walking with Lin Jianfan on the street full of couples, Gu Chaoming accompanied him to go out casually like usual, eating, watching movies, and a day passed like this.

It was as plain as if Gu Chaoming had never emphasized that this was their first Valentine's Day together, as if it was just an ordinary day, as if they had never been worried about how to go out on Valentine's Day.

There is no special, no surprise Valentine's Day, but Lin Jianfan is still very happy. Gu Chaoming doesn't know that as long as Lin Jianfan is with him, it is a surprise.

He deliberately stayed outside with Lin Jianfan for a whole day, and at night Gu Chaoming took a taxi with Lin Jianfan to go home.

Gu Chaoming did not report the address of Lin Jianfan's home, but his own home address. Lin Jianfan was not surprised when he heard Gu Chaoming reported his home address, as if they should have gone back there in the first place.

Lin Jianfan believed him unconditionally.

Lin Jianfan got out of the car first, ran upstairs happily, took the key to open the door, turned on the light to change shoes, turned on the light and looked at the house that he hadn't been in for a while, Lin Jianfan was stunned.

A pile of candles were neatly arranged on the floor of the living room. The candles were not lit, and they were arranged in a string of numbers that he didn't want to face.

The date on the card that Zhu Shengquan wrote to him when he jumped off the stairs and recuperated in the hospital.

Fearing that Lin Jianfan would be provoked, Gu Chaoming followed Lin Jianfan into the door.There was a sound of the door closing behind him, seeing that date Lin Jianfan turned around and asked, "What do you mean?"

He believed in Gu Chaoming, but the date actually appeared in front of him, and it was on Valentine's Day, at Gu Chaoming's house, made of candles.

Seeing that Fan had to be excited, Lin couldn't understand what Gu Chaoming meant.

Gu Chaoming was afraid that Lin Jianfan would go crazy, so he put down the things in his hands and hugged Lin Jianfan to comfort him, stroked his back lightly, and said to him: "It's okay."

Gu Chaoming put his palm on Lin Jianfan's shoulder and made him turn around to face the date displayed with candles on the floor: "Come on, look, I will do a magic trick for you."

The date on the floor was dazzling, it was the day Lin Jianfan didn't want to face.He doesn't hate every number in the date, just put them together, make up a date that he wants to destroy.

Gu Chaoming bowed his head and kissed the corner of Lin Jianfan's mouth to calm him down before he walked to the pile of candles, took out the lighters he had prepared from his pocket and lit them one by one.

That date lit up bit by bit under Gu Chaoming's hands, like the sky breaking through the night, and the dawn came bit by bit, like Gu Zhaoming igniting the day of fear in his memory, the flame Gu Chaoming ignited burned the darkness, bringing bright.

Lin Jianfan stared at Gu Chaoming's hands lighting candles one by one, the light above his head suddenly went out, leaving only the fire on the floor to illuminate Gu Chaoming's face and Lin Jianfan's figure.

Gu Chaoming turned off the light, he walked behind Lin Jianfan and hugged him, resting his head on Lin Jianfan's head, grasping Lin Jianfan's palm with both hands.

"That day," Gu Chaoming whispered in Lin Jianfan's ear, "You told me that those people who forced you were attracted to you that day, and it was also that day that you and Zhu Shengquan met."

Lin Jianfan in his arms was very nervous and depressed. Gu Chaoming could feel that Lin Jianfan was enduring. For the first time, he wanted to break out of Gu Chaoming's embrace and run out to breathe fresh air.

He couldn't bear it, he couldn't bear to think about that day.

"why would……"

"Hush, I know you really want to leave, but listen to me," Gu Chaoming grabbed the back of Lin Jianfan's hand and stroked it, "OK?"

Okay?

The breath from these two words hit Lin Jianfan's ears, and Lin Jianfan flinched into Gu Chaoming's arms.Not allowed to run outside, he can only go to a safer place.

Gu Chaoming put his face against Lin Jianfan's, and then said: "I know that day was scary, and you don't want to mention it again. As long as I mention that day, you will be very scared. We can't do this."

"I'm going to do a magic trick for you."

Gu Chaoming grabbed the back of Lin Jianfan's hand, and Lin Jianfan turned into his hands.Gu Chaoming held Lin Jianfan's hand, grabbed one of the candle cups and moved it to another number, and took the next one...

one, two, three...

The candles change, and the numbers formed by the candles change under the hand.

"It doesn't matter, it was just an ordinary day, like today. It has passed, just like the candle in your hand, it just stayed on that day, now you see..."

Lin Jianfan obediently looked at the candle on the ground, his eyes were moist.

The date on the card written by Zhu Shengquan on the candle becomes the day they met under the movement.

"This is the day we first met at school, do you still remember?" Lin Jianfan, who was trapped in his arms, nodded. He held back his tears, fearing that the tears would fall and extinguish the flame of the candle.

He has nothing to do with Gu Chaoming, a little skill can poke the softest part of his heart, hit his tear duct,

Gu Chaoming raised Lin Jianfan's hand again and began to move the candle. Picking up the extra candle, Gu Chaoming said to him softly, "Blow it out."

Seeing that Fan did so, Lin took a deep breath, and the light of the candle disappeared into this world.

"You blew it out." Gu Chaoming said.

Look at the date placed on the candles on the ground, it is today.

"The extra candles are the ones you blow out, they're the extra pain of the day, the pain you don't want to talk about that day.

"Every day is normal, but something and someone make it special. You can remember the day you confessed to me, and you can forget the day you don't want to face again."

"Now this date is changed from the date you don't want to face, through your hands, and time has passed slowly from that day. It may have made you not want to face it, but today it has passed Becoming a thing of the past, excess candles blown out and never rekindled, so why bother?"

Lin Jianfan in his arms was trembling, Gu Chaoming could only see his face slightly sideways, he let go of Lin Jianfan's hand and hugged Lin Jianfan, as if wrapping Lin Jianfan in his own body, using his body to Make Lin Jianfan's protective shell.

Surrounded by Gu Chaoming, his heart seemed to be sleeping in a cradle, lying on a soft support.Lin saw that Fan collapsed into Gu Chaoming's arms, and in Gu Chaoming's arms, he approached Gu Chaoming's chest, and in turn wrapped around Gu Chaoming's waist.

Gu Chaoming lowered his head and kissed Lin Jianfan's wet eyes: "Promise me, don't think about this day anymore, it's just an ordinary day."

Nodding his head on his chest, Gu Chaoming said again: "I don't force you, I just want you to feel better and not be bound by that date. You said you were afraid of seeing the worried eyes of your parents. You don't need to worry about it because of me today I feel that I must forget what I did to you. You don’t have to blame yourself if you can’t forget it. You don’t have to blame yourself in front of me. Whether you forget it or you can’t forget it, you can tell me. Remember, I’m sorry for you You can tell me anything you say."

Lin Jianfan is a very thoughtful person, Gu Chaoming doesn't want his kindness to Lin Jianfan to become a pressure on Lin Jianfan.He only hoped that Lin Jianfan would forget the past, and he would explain to Lin Jianfan one by one, telling him not to blame himself, he knew Lin Jianfan, and knew that Lin Jianfan would take the blame for failing to do so.

Gu Chaoming didn't want himself to be a copy of Lin's father and Lin's mother, and he didn't want to see Lin Jianfan stay away from him because of self-blame, or show him that he didn't care anymore.

Gu Chaoming hugged Lin Jianfan horizontally, the sudden rise was supported by Gu Chaoming's solid arms, Lin Jianfan was not afraid.

He was just crying, crying against Gu Chaoming's chest, like he was crying in the bathtub the day he confessed to Gu Chaoming in the chorus competition.

Not because of sadness, nor pain, nor all happiness, but as if everything in the past has been compensated.

He didn't receive a word of sorry, what he got was Gu Chaoming's unremitting patience and various ways of enlightening him.

Lin saw that Fan was crying against Gu Chaoming until he was tired and had no strength, and looked out of the dark window.

There is nothing outside the dark window, only darkness.

There was no snow outside the window, Lin saw the snow in Fan's eyes, it stopped.