the world in which he exists

The weather this winter is a bit strange, the deeper the winter, the warmer it gets.In the early winter, there were a few heavy snowfalls that had not been seen in many years, but in the middle of winter, it seemed that I had no strength, and there was a fine snow that was so small that I couldn't see it all day long.The snowflakes were small but dense, and soon after I went out, there were many snowflakes on my clothes.

The old man said that this year's cold air has passed, and it won't be too cold anymore.Gu Chaoming hoped so, this year is too cold, warmer weather is better, he prefers warmer weather, and the chance of seeing Fan suffering from frostbite is also lower.

As the New Year approached, Qu Yingyi bought him more clothes, but Gu Chaoming's persuasion was useless.I met Qu Yingyi during the winter vacation, only Qu Yingyi didn't bring Yuanyuan, so Gu Chaoming wondered about that clever little Yuanyuan.

Qu Yingyi said that he wanted to watch a movie with him, but he had never watched it together before. Gu Chaoming didn't have a movie he particularly wanted to watch recently, but he had already set his sights on a New Year's movie, and planned to watch it with Lin Jianfan during the Chinese New Year.

I remembered that I watched New Year's Eve movies with Lin Jianfan during the Chinese New Year last year. By the way, there was also Su Bing.

At that time, he was not with Lin Jianfan, and he was happy because Su Bing thought they were showing affection and making fun of them. Now Lin Jianfan is his real boyfriend.

The movie I watched with Qu Yingyi also had a campus love scene, and Qu Yingyi always secretly looked at him in one scene, trying to hold back but couldn't help asking: "Chaoming, you and your girlfriend... ..."

girlfriend? !

Hearing this question, Gu Chaoming, who was originally idle, was so nervous that he sat in an idle posture, and stammered a little: "It's okay, it's okay...Mom, don't ask, just watch the movie seriously."

Qu Yingyi pursed her lips and smiled, this child has a secret.

But after a while, Qu Yingyi instructed: "Treat him well, don't mess with me..."

"Oh, I got it, I got it, Mom, watch a movie, watch a movie."

During the whole winter vacation, Gu Chaoming was around Lin Jianfan. After watching the movie, he mentioned Lin Jianfan again. In the second half of the movie, Gu Chaoming didn't watch the movie carefully, and sent Lin Jianfan messages from time to time.

He told Lin Jianfan yesterday that he was going to see Qu Yingyi today and he might not go to see him.

Possibly, a vague word.

After saying goodbye to Qu Yingyi, Gu Chaoming immediately stopped a taxi and went straight to Lin Jianfan's house.

I just wanted to see him all of a sudden.

Since Lin Jianfan's accident, Gu Chaoming went to Lin Jianfan's house to see him every day without interruption.When he rushed to Lin Jianfan's house and saw Lin Jianfan's surprised expression, Gu Chaoming smiled at him, holding the roasted sweet potato that he bought when he saw it on the road.

Lin's mother would definitely not allow Lin Jianfan to eat these things, but Lin Jianfan said he wanted to eat them a few days ago, and Gu Chaoming bought him one when he saw it on the road. Lin Jianfan secretly dealt with the sweet potatoes that Gu Chaoming bought together in the room.

Afraid that Mama Lin would find out, Gu Chaoming put the sweet potatoes in his pocket when he entered the door, and the sweet potatoes burned his hands red.

Hiding in the room together and secretly eating sweet potatoes, Lin Jianfan couldn't stop the smile on his face, no matter what, Lin Jianfan just smiled.

When I bought sweet potatoes, I got a plastic spoon, and Lin Jianfan dug and ate them with a small spoon.Gu Chaoming sat beside Lin Jianfan, held Lin Jianfan's waist and opened his mouth to let him feed him. Lin Jianfan dug a spoonful and brought it to Gu Chaoming's mouth. When Gu Chaoming opened his mouth, Lin Jianfan withdrew his hand again, pretending The spoon of sweet potato was put into his mouth.

"Okay, you tease me." Gu Chaoming pinched Lin Jianfan's waist.Lin Jianfan smiled and twisted his waist, Gu Chaoming grabbed Lin Jianfan's hand holding the sweet potato and quickly took a bite of the steaming sweet potato.

Unexpectedly, his mouth was burned.

so hot?

Burning his mouth, Gu Chaoming felt embarrassed, so he tried not to say anything.

Lin Jianfan had noticed it a long time ago, and Gu Chaoming asked him after biting it off, "Is it hot?"

Gu Chaoming shook his head at first, but then looked at Lin Jianfan's eyes like a dog with drooping ears and said weakly, "It's hot."

The feeling of being burned gradually disappeared, Lin Jianfan leaned over and said, "Let me see, don't get blistered."

"It's so hot that it won't cause bubbles." Gu Chaoming saw Lin Jianfan leaning over the place where he scalded, and the air was filled with the aroma of roasted sweet potatoes. Gu Chaoming swallowed, and changed his words: "You still have Take a look, I'm afraid my mouth doesn't feel enough, and I don't feel it myself."

One sentence let Lin Jianfan know what Gu Chaoming was thinking.Gu Chaoming lowered his head obediently and opened his mouth, Lin Jianfan looked at Gu Chaoming's mouth, it was nothing serious.

"It's okay." Lin Jianfan looked away deliberately.

The diverted sight made Gu Chaoming's full expectation come to nothing amidst the smell of sweet potatoes filling the room.

When Gu Chaoming's expectations came to nothing, Lin Jianfan leaned over again and sneaked a kiss on the corner of Gu Chaoming's lips with a speed that Gu Zhaoming couldn't catch.

Gu Chaoming blinked frantically a few times, and looked at Lin Jianfan who kissed him like nothing happened and pretended to be eating sweet potatoes calmly.

Seeing Fan turning around with a snigger, Gu Chaoming's face rushed to his eyes in an instant, and his lips, which smelled of sweet potatoes, were covered.

Wrapping his arms around Gu Chaoming's neck, he closed his eyes, and the taste of sweet potatoes passed through his mouth.

Gu Chaoming didn't eat the whole sweet potato, it was all eaten by Lin Jianfan, and Gu Chaoming could only ask for some from his mouth if he wanted to eat it.

Slowly reaching out to hug Lin Jianfan, there was a knock on the door when the taste of sweet potatoes was strong in his mouth.

"See Fan?" Mama Lin's voice.

The soft air full of sweet potato smell and Gu Chaoming's arms that hugged Lin Jianfan stiffened.

Seeing that Fan's heart was beating extremely fast, Lin replied to Mama Lin: "What's wrong?"

"Mom, go out for a while, it's so late today, Chaoming should stay at our house for dinner."

"No, thank you, auntie." Gu Chaoming said quickly.

"It's okay, I also bought some extra food today, and I would like to ask you to help me meet Fan, I'll go out for a while."

"...Okay." Gu Chaoming had no choice but to agree.

As soon as Mama Lin left, Gu Chaoming heard Lin Jianfan's laughter in his arms, the air was icy cold, but Gu Chaoming still didn't let go of him: "What are you laughing at?"

"Seeing how nervous you were just now, I was wondering what you would look like if you told my mother about our relationship in the future." Lin Jianfan said with a smile.

"It was just a special case just now," Gu Chaoming said, "But when you said that, I just remembered that I was talking to my mother-in-law just now."

Gu Chaoming smiled triumphantly.

Seeing Fan pushing him away in disgust, Gu Chaoming hugged him even tighter and leaned into his ear: "I came to see you so late today, and I brought the sweet potato you want to eat, don't you want to give me some reward?"

Lin Jianfan gently pushed Gu Chaoming's head away, and said with a smile: "My mother is going out, don't you..."

"Going out, I heard the door closing, and I won't do anything too outrageous in your house."

Seeing that Fan blinked and looked at Gu Chaoming, and somehow retreated into Gu Chaoming's arms, with his forehead resting on Gu Chaoming's shoulder, Lin said in a low voice, "It's okay to be a bit out of line."

Lin Jianfan's voice was very close to Gu Chaoming's ear, and Gu Chaoming felt that his nosebleed was about to flow out when he heard these words.

So exciting.

"What?" Lin Jianfan raised his head and asked.

Gu Chaoming accidentally said what was in his heart, seeing Lin Jianfan raised his face, Gu Chaoming felt his nose bleed, and quickly said: "I mean it's too exciting to hide from your mother and eat roasted sweet potatoes."

Lin saw Fan taking the initiative to come over, and Gu Chaoming could control the audience when he took the initiative, but when Fan Lin saw Fan taking the initiative, Gu Chaoming was a little at a loss, and Ren Lin saw Fan approaching, licking and biting.

So exciting.

Gu Chaoming was talking about eating roasted sweet potatoes while avoiding Mama Lin.

Since the last time Lin Jianfan was allowed to go out, Lin's mother has relaxed a lot of control over Lin Jianfan's freedom, and Lin Jianfan's mood has improved a lot since Gu Chaoming brought him back from his previous school last time.

Mama Lin's control over Lin Jianfan's freedom relaxed, and Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan felt that they didn't dare to speak out or ask.Gu Chaoming and Lin's mother felt that Lin Jianfan's mood was getting better, but Gu Chaoming and Lin's mother didn't dare to ask.

Gu Chaoming was caught in the middle, I hope that Lin is really happy to see Fan, and I also hope that Lin's mother really wants to let go.

A few days before the new year, Gu Chaoming persuaded Tong Lin's mother to let him take Lin Jianfan out together.In addition to bringing Lin Jianfan, Gu Chaoming also called Cen Xili and Su Bing.

It's been a long time since I saw Lin Jianfan. As soon as he saw Lin Jianfan, Su Bing rushed over to hug and hug Lin Jianfan who was a little shy, and yelled at each other.

Gu Chaoming pulled Su Bing away, and finally pulled Lin Jianfan back from the brink of suicide. Gu Chaoming was afraid that Lin Jianfan would not like Su Bing's enthusiasm. After all, Lin Jianfan also told him that he didn't know before going out. How to face Su Bing and the others.

"It's okay, they are all your good friends, aren't they?" Gu Chaoming comforted him.

They are my good friends?

"Think about the past, Su Bing and Xi Li, do you think they are your friends? If you still don't believe them, you can treat them as my friends, and treat them as my friends who brought you to meet me."

Gu Chaoming hopes that Lin Jianfan can get in touch with people other than him more, and believe in this world more, and can't always shrink in a small shell with only the two of them.

Both Cen Xili and Su Bing were very kind to him, Lin Jianfan never forgot, he worked hard to muster up the courage to contact them.

Gu Chaoming pushed away Su Bing who was holding Lin Jianfan: "Be careful, don't touch me like this."

"Oh, tsk tsk tsk, it's just started again after not seeing you for a few days, I think you have to be careful, don't show your affection on the street." Gu Chaoming opened Su Bing's hand, and Su Bing opened his hand in turn, holding Seeing Lin Jianfan walking ahead.

Gu Chaoming walked behind and smiled at the two people in front.

"Are you cured?" Su Bing asked Lin Jianfan with concern.

Lin's mother asked him for leave because of a serious illness.

"It's completely fine." Lin Jianfan said.

Su Bing's natural vivacity allows people to quickly adapt to the new environment.The environment is no longer new, but it is still a bit "new" to Lin Jianfan. Lin Jianfan slightly turned his head to look at Gu Chaoming who was walking behind. Gu Chaoming was talking to Cen Xili.

On the day of going out, the sun unexpectedly showed its hidden figure. Cen Xili was walking on Gu Chaoming's left hand. I don't know what funny things Gu Chaoming said, and they looked at each other and laughed.

The sun passed through Gu Chaoming's hair, turning Gu Chaoming's black hair into a brownish yellow color, and Gu Chaoming's face was exposed to the winter sun.

Chatting with Cen Xili and noticing Lin Jian's gaze, Gu Chaoming turned his head and smiled at Lin Jianfan.

After receiving Gu Chaoming's smile, Lin Jianfan turned around to chat with Su Bing in peace of mind.

"Will you come to school next semester?" Su Bing asked him.

Seeing Fan nodded, Lin couldn't help but look back.

"The third year of high school took such a long leave of absence, and I didn't come for tutoring. If you don't come to school again, I thought you were going to repeat your studies, but you are not afraid of taking so much leave for your grades..." Su Bing said nonchalantly. By doing this, Lin Jianfan was so frightened that he didn't know how to answer.

Everything seems to be the original appearance.

Su Bing's enthusiasm and Cen Xili's caring made Lin Jianfan feel as if he was warmed by the two of them and shone by the winter sun like today when Lin Jianfan was trying to adapt to get back the feeling he had before.

Gu Chaoming followed him all the time and did not help him. Gu Chaoming had never studied psychology. He just followed the superficial information he found and followed the method that a young man thought was correct to make Lin Jianfan accept the world again.

No matter how enthusiastic Su Bing was and how caring Cen Xili was, Lin Jianfan finally calmly clung to Gu Chaoming's side when he was getting on the elevator, letting nature take its course and approaching him.

Gu Chaoming pursed his lips helplessly and smiled at Lin Jianfan who was leaning against him, and gently touched the back of Lin Jianfan's hand in the uncrowded elevator.

Lin Jianfan secretly lowered his head and smiled, thinking that he would stay at home completely during the winter vacation. Because of Gu Chaoming's hard work, he went to the old school, met friends, accompanied Gu Chaoming to buy New Year's fruit, and secretly did bad things in the room...

The entire expected boring winter vacation became colorful because of Gu Chaoming's efforts. Every time Gu Chaoming came to his house was his happiest moment.

In addition to leading Lin Jianfan to do bad things, Gu Chaoming also studied with Lin Jianfan.Sometimes I bring my homework to Lin Jianfan's home to do homework with him, and while taking care of my senior year studies, I come to see him every day.I slept too late yesterday, Gu Chaoming lay down on the table and fell asleep while doing it.

Lin Jianfan found a blanket to cover Gu Chaoming, lying on the table and staring at Gu Chaoming who was breathing evenly.

thank you.

Thank you for your efforts.

I also want to use my efforts to repay your efforts.

After waking up, Gu Chaoming felt that his arms were a little sore, and he rubbed his eyes with dark circles due to late sleep.The blanket covering his body slipped off, Gu Chaoming bent down to pick it up, and felt Lin Jianfan beside him gently tugging at his sleeve.

"What's wrong?" Gu Chaoming turned his head and asked while holding the blanket he picked up in his hand.

"Well... Shall we go to the movies on New Year's Day? It's the same as last year." Lin Jianfan asked while grabbing Gu Chaoming's sleeve.

"Watching a movie?!" Gu Chaoming raised his eyebrows when he heard these three words, "How do you know my plan?"

I just woke up and haven't been slowed down yet. I listened to the interrogative sentences that Lin Jianfan invited to watch the movie as declarative sentences. I thought that Lin Jianfan knew that he had already prepared the itinerary. After thinking about it carefully, I realized that Lin Jianfan was inviting him to watch. Movie.After the sleepy energy passed, Gu Chaoming realized that he had slipped his mouth.

"Then let's go together." Lin Jianfan who couldn't express his gratitude showed a third kind of smile to Gu Chaoming.

The smile hit Gu Chaoming's heart, Lin Jianfan asked him on the train: "Will life get better?"

Life is getting better, and so are you.

The New Year came quickly, and this was the second time that Gu Chaoming spent the New Year alone.Compared to last year's loneliness, Gu Chaoming learned to enjoy, enjoy cooking a sumptuous New Year's Eve dinner for one person, enjoy watching the New Year's fireworks, enjoy playing with the children in the building wearing new clothes...

The above are all the enjoyments that Gu Chaoming imagined, because knowing that Gu Chaoming's parents divorced, his mother remarried, and his father disappeared, Lin's mother asked Gu Chaoming to celebrate the New Year alone, and invited him to her home for the New Year.

I couldn't resist Mama Lin's kind invitation, mainly because Lin Jianfan kept shaking his hand under the table to get him to agree.

In this way, Gu Chaoming spent the New Year at someone else's house for the first time.

On the family reunion day, Lin's father, who was often away, took Lin Jianfan's grandma over, and Gu Chaoming obediently called grandma.

The elderly like children, the more lively the home, the better.

It's always a little uncomfortable to spend New Year's Eve at someone else's house for the first time.Lin Jianfan was usually clinging to him, but on New Year's Day he was always clinging to Lin Jianfan.Wherever Lin saw Fan go, he would go with him, so as not to be caught by the elders for chatting alone.

After following Lin Jianfan all day, Lin's mother laughed that they are really good brothers, and they didn't say a word about good brothers.

Lin Jianfan took Gu Chaoming outside to get some air. Gu Chaoming grabbed a lump of snow on the ground and kneaded it into a snow ball. Lin Jianfan stood beside him and said, "My mother may want to treat you as my brother."

"Huh?" The snowball smashed into the distance, and Gu Chaoming hugged Lin Jianfan, "You are not my uncle...how many sons have gone? Hmm? It seems that it is not the uncle, but the second uncle?"

Lin Jianfan's worried expression turned into a smile at Gu Chaoming's because of Mama Lin's brotherly words.

Lin Jianfan thumped Gu Chaoming who was hugging him: "I'm not your uncle's second son, so who am I?"

Gu Chaoming bowed his head and leaned over and said softly, "Who do you say you are?"

Lin Jianfan also learned to be funny: "I don't know if you don't tell me."

"Huh?" Gu Chaoming scratched Lin Jianfan's waist, "You don't even recognize your boyfriend, do you?"

Lin saw Fan Zhi begging for mercy so much that Gu Chaoming let go.Gu Chaoming embraced Lin Jianfan again: "Your mother is just talking casually. When I really want to tell her in the future, I will definitely tell her. Don't worry."

Lin Jianfan didn't speak, Gu Chaoming, who was celebrating the new year, didn't want him to think about it, Gu Chaoming stuffed his palm into Lin Jianfan's collar, Lin Jianfan didn't jump up as Gu Chaoming thought, Lin Jianfan only Shrink your neck.

Gu Chaoming sighed inwardly, he didn't want Lin Jianfan to be as enthusiastic as Su Bing, but only hoped that Lin Jianfan could have the vitality they should have at their age.

The current Lin Jianfan is like a pot of warm water that cannot be boiled.

Gu Chaoming didn't force him, he hugged Lin Jianfan and planned to enter the house, only to find Lin Jianfan's grandma standing by the window watching them when he turned around.

Gu Chaoming smiled at his grandma and quickly turned his head. Seeing that Grandma Fan was so far away and at such an age, she would definitely not be able to hear their conversation, but Gu Chaoming still panicked.

If Mama Lin knew that Lin Jianfan's classmate was actually Lin Jianfan's boyfriend that she insisted on staying at her house for the New Year, I don't know what Mama Lin would think.

"Your grandma is watching us by the window." Gu Chaoming said to Lin Jianfan.

"It's okay. She's been in poor health for the past few years, and she can't hear very well. When you called her, she had to listen to her several times before she heard clearly."

Grandma's health is failing, Lin Jianfan uttered these words like normal, but Gu Chaoming could hear his reluctance.

Guoguo left, grandma's health was failing, and those who accompanied him left one by one.

Gu Chaoming patted Lin Jianfan's head, Lin Jianfan grabbed Yu Xue on the ground, squeezed it into a small snowball and threw it out.

Gu Chaoming put his arms around Lin Jianfan's shoulders, and Lin Jianfan moved closer to him: "Actually, I'm a little scared."

"What are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid my grandma will leave me." Lin Jianfan spoke heavily and in a low voice.

Gu Chaoming patted his mouth: "Bah, bah, what are you talking about, grandma is very good, and she will definitely live a long life."

"If, I said, if she really leaves you one day, it means that it is a part of your growth. Growth is the process of people you cherish slowly leaving you. When they leave you Sometimes a new group of people enter your life. You can never forget the people in the past, but you can’t give up hope for the next life because of this. Grandma is the person you may say goodbye to in the near future, and parents are the people you want to say goodbye to in the future. Maybe I will say goodbye to you when we are gray-haired, maybe you will say goodbye to me."

Gu Chaoming scratched Lin Jianfan's nose: "Let me say goodbye to you, after all, you are not very good at saying goodbye and you always like to cry."

Said that he was always crying, Lin Jianfan "glared" at Gu Chaoming, Gu Chaoming laughed at him openly.

Lin Jianfan listened to Gu Chaoming's words and thought about it, and Gu Chaoming smiled and recalled a long passage that was completely improvised just now.

Lin Jianfan thought his boyfriend was a mature man who could comfort him with reason, but he didn't know that Gu Chaoming, who was hugging him and still laughing at him, was thinking in his heart when he was looking into the distance: "Oh my god, I just Did you say something very reasonable?! I can actually say such a thing!"

Gu Chaoming always thinks that he can't speak and only fights with others.

Lin Jianfan, who didn't know that Gu Chaoming was thinking about these things, turned to him and said, "Thank you, all this time."

Thank you, thank you, whether it's me who was obsequious and pleasing to others in the past, or me who will only retreat when encountering difficulties, you have not given up.

You are the brave man I want to learn. Even in the face of my difficulties, when I chose to give up, you did not choose to give up. Instead, you accompanied me, helped me, and put in more effort than me.

thank you.

Lin Jianfan looked at Gu Chaoming with unspeakable thanks in his eyes, and the unspeakable thanks were reduced to a few simple words on his lips.

After talking about the big truths, Gu Chaoming seemed to have opened up the two channels of Ren and Du. He smiled and said to Lin Jianfan: "Actually, I also want to thank you, not only for accompanying me, but also for your care and trust in me.

"I know that I am not a particularly good person. Now I don't want to deny it anymore. I really learned a lot about my dad's bad temper, and I get angry at every turn. But thank you for not being scared away by my bad temper. If you were a little more timid, maybe at the beginning you patted my shoulder and I yelled at you, and the fate between us two was broken up.

"Also, I want to tell you something."

"What's the matter?" Lin Jianfan asked curiously.

"I don't know if you still want to know what joke the doctor told me when you took me to the hospital to check the wound on my head."

"What joke?"

Gu Chaoming laughed a few times: "The doctor said your boyfriend is really handsome."

Lin Jianfan looked at Gu Chaoming suspiciously: "I have every reason to suspect that you are lying to me."

Gu Chaoming laughed again: "I'm really lying to you, hahahahaha..."

Seeing Fan hitting him again, Lin Jian said, "Don't tease me, tell the truth."

To tell the truth, no matter how hard Gu Chaoming tried, his smile could not be as cheerful as before. He smiled and said: "Actually, that day I had no place to go so I walked around the school. My dad wouldn't let me go home. Later I When I met you, you wanted to take me to the hospital. I was very happy to have someone to talk with me. In the car, I thought, I was actually moved by a person I only knew for a day, and I felt very unmotivated , But at that time, I was the only one who had no one to rely on, and I was really lonely. When I checked out and saw you waiting for me outside with my schoolbag, it suddenly seemed that I had a home.

"Someone is waiting for me, what a happy thing. I was afraid of losing face in front of you, so I just smiled and laughed, afraid of tears falling out. Later, when I heard that you were pleasing others, I was thinking, I It was a sincere emotion, but in the end you were just trying to please me, so I lost my temper with you when I met you at the sports meeting, so I just have a bad temper.

"Thank you for caring about me when I felt helpless. I was really, really lonely at that time. Even if you turned around to please me to build a good relationship, I would also like to thank you very much."

After finishing speaking, Gu Chaoming laughed, and as spring and winter came, Gu Chaoming once again used a smile to hide the tears pouring down his heart.

Gu Chaoming unraveled Lin Jian Fan Chen's many unclear memories, the doctor's jokes, why Gu Chaoming suddenly lost his temper with him in the playground...

After knowing it, he was too sad, he just felt that a mature man is as fragile as a child.

Lin Jianfan was still at home and couldn't hug him. Lin Jianfan imitated Gu Chaoming's playful comforting method and said: "Are we even a tie? You know my past, and I also know your knot. I love you I said 'Don't look back, look forward', I may not have done it, but I will try to do it, so you don't want to think about those things anymore, okay? Even if your dad comes to you in the future, I will accompany you Look at you, and promise me not to bear it anymore, you must call the police, and you must not be like before, domestic violence is intolerable, you know?"

Lin Jianfan felt that he was not qualified to say the last sentence, and he did not use the correct method when facing violence.

When violence came, he didn't treat it correctly, Gu Chaoming absolutely couldn't.

He should live in the sun.

No.

He himself is light.