the world in which he exists

Tutoring took up more than half of the winter vacation. During this time, Gu Chaoming's sleep quality has been poor, resulting in inability to concentrate in class, and Lao Chen called him to the office many times to talk.

"What's wrong with you in class? Several teachers told me that you don't pay attention to the lectures in class, and you are always distracted. Is it because Lin saw Fan last time..."

As soon as Lao Chen mentioned Lin Jianfan, Gu Chaoming immediately came back in a trance, waved his hands and said, "No, it's just that I've been lazy recently."

"This won't work, you'll be lazy at the critical moment, and you know it's only next semester..."

Lao Chen started a new round of persuasion.

Gu Chaoming nodded, while absent-mindedly thinking about how to make Lin Jianfan happy.The make-up classes for the winter vacation are coming to an end, and Gu Chaoming has been thinking about these things since he left the law firm that day during the entire winter vacation.

The thoughts in class from time to time, the ideas that appear from time to time in life, and the sudden nightmare at night are all about Lin Jianfan.

It took Gu Chaoming a lot of effort to decide to help Lin Jianfan get out of the haze of the past.Every day when he went to see Lin Jianfan, Gu Chaoming would secretly bring him yogurt and talk to him.

Going to Lin Jianfan's house with yogurt after school every day is the moment Gu Chaoming looks forward to the most, and Gu Chaoming's going to his house to chat with him is the most relaxing moment of Lin Jianfan's day.

They looked forward to each other, looking forward to the moment of reunion.

Whenever he heard the sound of the door opening in the living room when school was over, Lin Jianfan would laugh, eagerly waiting for the door of his room to be opened, and eagerly greet Gu Chaoming.

Gu Chaoming always brings him yogurt, and chatting with him feels at ease.He didn't know that Gu Chaoming was hiding something in his heart, how to make him happy.

Gu Chaoming observed Lin Jianfan's room, asked Lin Jianfan what he wanted to do, and wanted to get inspiration from it.

Gu Chaoming didn't know that as long as Lin Jianfan was with him, he would be happy wherever he went, mainly because he was with him.

Saying goodbye to Lin Jianfan, Gu Chaoming promised him that he would come early tomorrow.Mama Lin sent Gu Chaoming to the door, and handed him a box of cakes that she made herself, expressing her gratitude and apology for her previous aggressive language.

Gu Chaoming insisted on seeing Lin Jianfan every day, and the smile on Lin Jianfan's face when he saw Gu Chaoming made Lin's mother break her hostility towards Gu Chaoming.

Mother Lin wanted to believe him, that Gu Chaoming was a good friend of her son.Zhu Shengquan in the past made her afraid. She told Gu Chaoming that she had spoken a little aggressively before, but Gu Chaoming kept saying it was okay.

Carrying the cake given by Mama Lin back home by bus, Gu Chaoming first put the cake in the refrigerator and took off the red scarf around his neck.

My head is a little swollen, too many things have happened recently, and there are too many things in my mind, not only studying, but the things that make Lin Jianfan happy take up most of my thoughts.

Investigating the sequelae of school violence has been haunting him. Gu Chaoming has nightmares from time to time. The protagonist of the nightmares is Lin Jianfan, and he is a god who does not exist.

Rubbing his swollen head and lying on the bed, he sent a message to Lin Jianfan.

"Staying at home for so many days, shall we go out to play tomorrow? I will tell your mother."

Add a winking emoji at the end.

The tone was as lively and angry as possible, which made Lin Jianfan happy.

After sending the message, Gu Chaoming closed his eyes.

Noisy, non-stop noisy.

Booing, booing, non-stop booing.

The constant noise and booing forced Gu Chaoming to open his eyes.

This time he slept in a strange classroom.

Looking around the classroom, everyone gathered in one place to watch something lively, it was very noisy, and he was the only one left in his seat.

Gu Chaoming got up from his seat and walked over to see what they were looking at.

Everyone formed a small circle, everyone had weird smiles on their faces, some bared their teeth, and some laughed so loudly that their throats could be seen.

Seeing their smiles, Gu Chaoming became more and more flustered. He pushed aside the crowd, only to find that in the center of the crowd, a person was pressing on Lin Jianfan, and his slaps fell on Lin Jianfan's face one after another.

Lin Jianfan's face was bleeding from the beating, and the blood from his nose and mouth spread freely along with the skin, and even flowed along the skin to the corners of his eyes, mixing with the tears flowing from the corners of his eyes, forming a blood-red flower of hell Flowers come.

Seeing that Fan wanted to escape, he was pressed to the ground and tried to move backwards, but was held down by the man, unable to move at all.

Gu Chaoming wanted to help him, but found that he couldn't move at all, he couldn't move his legs, as if he was frozen, he could only watch the blood spread on Lin Jianfan's face.

Seeing that Fan's face was distorted in pain, Lin Gu Chaoming looked around, and they were all grinning onlookers.

They laughed, they worked hard, they looked ugly, they shouted hello.

Gu Chaoming couldn't bear it anymore, and Lin Jianfan's cries for help were too weak to be heard amidst the ridicule of his classmates.

They are ugly spectators.

Gu Chaoming wanted to help Lin Jianfan, but he raised his hand, but his palm felt sticky, and some moist liquid was continuously flowing from his palm.

Gu Chaoming looked down, his eyes were blood red, almost stabbing his eyes.

The blood stained the entire palm, even the lines on the palm were unwilling to let go, the blood dripped down his palm.Gu Chaoming opened his eyes wide, trying to wipe off the blood on his hands, but found that he couldn't wipe it off.

His chest kept rising and falling, and he could only stand there like a wooden man, watching the blood from the scar on his palm flow out continuously, more and more.

The blood spread to the floor, staining the classroom floor red with blood.The blood flowed so fast that the entire classroom was covered by blood in the blink of an eye by Gu Chaoming.

There was blood all over the floor, like a sea of ​​red.

The onlookers disappeared, the people pressing on Lin Jianfan disappeared, even the beaten Lin Jianfan disappeared, leaving him alone in this red ocean.

Gu Chaoming knew that he was dreaming, he knew it too well, but he was still as panicked as if he was having this kind of dream for the first time.

He remembered the dream he had after he first investigated school violence, and the morning he woke up after having the dream for the first time.

With a confused mind, cold sweat on his back, shortness of breath, and wide eyes, he couldn't believe that this was Lin Jianfan's past life.

He was fortunate to meet Lin Jianfan when he was in the most painful time. He thought that there were still Cen Xili and Su Bing in his desperate life, but Lin Jianfan had nothing but himself.

When I think of Gu Chaoming, I can't help but feel distressed, and I can't stop wanting to hug him and tell him that you are not alone, you still have me.

Gu Chaoming blamed himself for not meeting him earlier, for not meeting him the first second he came into contact with the darkness of human nature, for not being his hero to protect him at that time.

He has always been with him through the hardships, from the first time he went to the hospital with him to the beach with him and shouted out all his troubles.

"Go to hell!"

But he could do nothing to help him, and when he thought of this, powerlessness and self-blame swept over him.

"Hey, wake up, Gu Shuai, wake up, don't sleep."

Someone was calling him, and the voice was Su Bing.

Gu Chaoming opened his eyes in a daze, and saw Su Bing waving his hand to wake him up in front of his eyes.

He remembered that he was obviously sleeping on his own bed, how could he be in the classroom when he woke up?Still woke up by Su Bing.

The classroom was a normal scene. Those who bowed their heads to do their homework, those who were fighting in the corridor, and those who wiped the blackboard on the podium were all familiar faces.

Gu Chaoming shook his head, did he really remember wrongly?He is not at home?

The bright red blood on his hands in the dream seems to be still in front of his eyes. Gu Chaoming has never been to Lin Jianfan's former school, nor has he met any other former Lin Jianfan's classmates, except Zhu Shengquan met once last time.

The scenes in the dream were all imagined by him, but they were all so real.

Gu Chaoming rubbed his sore eyes after waking up, and was dragged out of the classroom by Su Bing. When he walked out of the classroom, he looked back at Lin Jianfan's position.

Lin Jianfan was sitting in someone else's place?

Isn't Lin Jianfan's deskmate Li Zhao?

Maybe someone else was sitting in Lin Jianfan's seat for a while. Gu Chaoming didn't think too much, and asked Su Bing who was pulling him to the toilet: "Where are you seeing Fan? I just saw that he wasn't in the seat."

Su Bing, who was holding his hand in front of him, turned his head, and the laziness on Gu Chaoming's face after waking up disappeared instantly.

The person holding his hand and turning his head was not the Su Bing he was familiar with, but Zhu Shengquan who he had only seen once in the mall!

Zhu Shengquan, a metamorphosis who collected photos of Lin Jianfan in women's clothing!

Gu Chaoming was resentful in his heart, and when he saw Zhu Shengquan's face, he wanted to punch him, but he couldn't move, and was taken to the toilet by Zhu Shengquan.

"What are you doing?!" Gu Chaoming asked struggling.

"Take you to find Lin Jianfan." Zhu Shengquan's face suddenly became grim, and he laughed loudly, and the laughter resounded through the entire teaching building.

Everyone in the teaching building disappeared in an instant, only Zhu Shengquan was left holding him.The sunny sky darkened, and darkness covered the sky like dark summer clouds.

Gu Chaoming was taken to the toilet by Zhu Shengquan.

There were five people in the toilet, four of them were standing, and the other was kneeling.

Zhu Shengquan let go of him and pointed to the kneeling person on the ground.Gu Chaoming walked over, the kneeling man turned his back to him, his hands were still tied with ropes, that figure from the back was too familiar, unbelievably familiar.

Gu Chaoming walked around in front of that person, and the kneeling person was Lin Jianfan!

Gu Chaoming stood in place in disbelief, breathing in disorder.

Lin saw that Fan's hands were tied behind his back and his mouth was tightly sealed with tape. He couldn't hear what he was saying, but he could only hear an indistinct cry for help coming from his sealed mouth.

Her hair was a mess, and her clothes were disheveled.

One of the four standing kicked him, knocking him to the ground.Lin saw that Fan's hands were tied, without support, he fell forward, his face was on the ground, lying on the ground writhing like a caterpillar.

The man kicked him and refused to give up. He came over and slapped Lin Jianfan, picked up the mop next to the toilet sink, held the handle of the mop and pressed it on Lin Jianfan's face.

Lin saw Fan lying on the ground writhing, shaking his head to dodge, the person holding the mop looked like a whack-a-mole, Lin saw where Fan was fleeing, he pressed the mop there, and laughed like Zhu Shengquan while pressing .

Disgusting, really disgusting.

Gu Chaoming just wanted to rush up and give that person a slap. The companions beside him were still laughing, the same as those onlookers just now, even more wildly.

Lin saw Fan twisting and turning to avoid the mop that was pushed down.

In the blink of an eye, in an instant, the bindings on his hands were loosened, and a big hole was formed in the floor under him. He was falling continuously, like the time he jumped out of the classroom window, like the time he fell into the river.

He fell into the endless abyss, the rapid descent of his body and the sense of weightlessness made him break out in a cold sweat, and the howling wind in his ears refused to stop.

Finally fell to the ground.

Seeing that Fan opened his eyes suddenly, there was darkness in front of him.

The endless night, with the silvery moonlight in the night, floats lightly in the air. It can't be called light at all in the dark, and it can't give Lin Jianfan the most basic sense of security.

Heavy night, closed doors and windows.

The oppressive air in the dark room became thinner and thinner. Lin Jianfan gradually became manic and frightened, and subconsciously reached out to turn on the lamp on the bedside table.

Breathing became more and more rapid, the darkness in front of him was getting deeper and deeper, fear and mania made Lin Jianfan want to smash the things around him, but there was nothing around him.The palms fumbled frantically on the bedside table, and accidentally waved the lamp to the ground.

Hearing the sound of the desk lamp falling, Lin saw Fan curled up into a ball, and even his breathing was suppressed weakly, as if he was hiding from the enemy's prey to prevent the enemy from finding out.

After suppressing it for almost a minute, Lin Jianfan finally couldn't take it anymore. He was frightened and manic. He wanted to smash something, but he could only kick the quilt covering him under the bed angrily.

He saw the night coming towards him, it was coming towards him!

The darkness squeezed him, sucked the air out of him.

In the closed space, with eyes open for too long without seeing the light, Lin Jianfan started to shout, screaming from his throat, as if someone was going to kill him.

"help me!"

Heart-piercing, hoarse throat, Lin Jianfan's voice gradually turned into tears.

Extreme panic in the night.

Lin's mother was sleeping next door, and she had been sleeping soundly. When she heard her son's yelling, she quickly lifted the quilt, and was so anxious that she couldn't even put on her slippers. Open.

The desk lamp fell to the side of the bed, and the quilt fell to the ground in a mess. Seeing that Fan was lying on the bed and sobbing in his throat, he was dazzled by the sudden light, so he blocked it with his hand, and at the same time he was comforted by the light leaking from his fingers. .

Lin's mother rushed to her son's side, helped Lin Jianfan who was furious, hugged him in her arms, and comforted him: "It's okay, it's okay."

Lin saw Fan leaning in his mother's arms, gradually adapting to the bright light in the room, Lin's mother kept comforting him, holding him, like comforting a newborn baby who suddenly cried at night.

"It's light, it's okay." Lin's mother kept patting Lin Jianfan's back.

Lin saw Fan leaning on Lin Ma's shoulder, his eyes were a little dull after adapting to the light, and he stared at the wall of the room without focus for a while.

He just wanted comfort, and leaned on his mother's shoulders to adapt from nightmare to reality, from darkness to light, as if his soul had returned to his body. Lin Jianfan finally blinked and hugged his anxious mother: "I'm fine." Well, it was just a nightmare."

"Nightmare?" Lin Ma let go of him.

"En." Lin Jianfan nodded.

"It's okay, it's all a dream, go back to sleep, don't worry." Lin Jianfan said.

Mother Lin was still worried, and wanted to pour him a glass of water, but was pushed into the bedroom by Lin Jianfan.

Lin Jianfan grinned and gave her a smile: "Good night."

After saying good night, Lin saw Fan immediately closed the door, ran back to his room and locked the door, leaning against the door panel to breathe.

He had nightmares again.

one more time.

He didn't want his mother to worry, his father was away, he just wanted his mother to sleep well.

He couldn't do such a small wish.

Lin saw Fan leaning against the cold door panel in winter, sliding along the door panel and falling to the ground.Sitting on the floor and looking at the messy bed, with his head empty, Lin Jianfan advised himself not to sit on the floor, or he would catch a cold, and go back to bed to sleep.

Mechanically got up and lay back on the bed, Lin Jianfan closed his eyes and forced himself to fall asleep, so that his mother could sleep well.

Across the wall, Lin's mother sat by the window and shed tears, and had to pay attention to the movement in Lin Jianfan's room.

After thinking that Lin Jianfan should be asleep, he walked gently into Lin Jianfan's room to help him tuck the quilt, and checked the lamp on the bedside table.

Lin Jianfan thought that by forcing himself to sleep, his mother would feel at ease, and that by forcing himself to sleep, the next morning would come earlier, but the sky is always involuntary, and the more anxious he is, the less he can get it.

Lin Jianfan who fell asleep had another nightmare.

In the dream, he struggled to stand up against the wall, one foot stepped on his shoulder, and he fell to the ground as soon as he exerted force, the man continued to go up and kick him again, kicking his defensive arm.

The man squatted down, roughly took off his outer school uniform, pinched the corner of the school uniform in disgust, and threw his school uniform out like a frisbee playing with a dog.

"It's pitiful to be your school uniform." The man said and kicked again.

Lin Jianfan only wore a single shirt under his school uniform, leaving many footprints in a short while.

One kick hit his arm, and Lin saw Fan lying on the ground with his back against the wall.

The scene in front of him was blocked by them, Lin Jianfan could only see the soles of his shoes falling on him, and only heard bursts of demonic laughter.

The world is a bit double, black and white, like a silent film that suddenly shakes.The world in front of him is black and white, Lin Jianfan saw his school uniform that was left in the distance through the gap, it was the only color in the black and white world in front of him, the color he hated.

He woke up quickly from the nightmare, and when he opened his eyes, it was no longer the darkness after waking up from the previous dream. The desk lamp that Lin Ma had checked was on, and a layer of warm light shone on his face.

Seeing that Fan didn't give himself time to relax, he turned over directly after waking up from a nightmare, and then closed his eyes as if turning over could shake off the nightmare.

After squinting for a long time, he still didn't feel sleepy. He picked up his phone and saw that it was already 48:[-] in the morning.

Lin Jianfan just wanted to check the time, but the phone screen showed that he had a new message from Gu Chaoming.

"Staying at home for so many days, shall we go out to play tomorrow? I will tell your mother."

It was just a message, a layer of water seeped out of the eye sockets, and the floating heart fell to the ground.

Lin Jianfan clicked on the chat interface with Gu Chaoming, and listened to the voices sent by Gu Chaoming one by one.

"The temperature will be higher tomorrow."

"I'll take the one on the left."

"Page 280 of [-], the second question, the analysis of the small characters."

"Remember to bring your badge tomorrow."

"I'm going to sleep too."

"Go to bed early."

They were all boring routines, but Lin Jianfan felt very at ease listening to them, as if turning over the pages of their days together.

Hearing Gu Chaoming's voice, recalling Gu Chaoming's kiss on his arm, Lin Jianfan touched his wrist.

The voice of Gu Chaoming talking to him was too gentle and warm, which made Lin Jianfan sleepy gradually, even the cold machine couldn't dismantle the tenderness in Gu Chaoming's voice.

Seeing Fan hugging himself tightly, Lin took the phone and listened to the voice messages Gu Chaoming sent him, one by one.

When talking to him, Gu Chaoming's voice is always warm, like a ray of sunshine in a world of ice and snow, which makes Lin Jianfan feel comfortable and warm.

Drowsy, Lin Jianfan suddenly wanted to call Gu Chaoming, listen to Gu Chaoming's voice, and wanted to hear him say "good night" before going to bed.

He knew that Gu Chaoming would definitely pick it up, but he didn't want to disturb Gu Chaoming, and he didn't want Gu Chaoming to sleep well.

Lin Jianfan just listened to Gu Chaoming's voice sentence by sentence, and fell asleep listening to Gu Chaoming's voice when he was sleepy and didn't want to raise his hand.

He had a dream.

He dreamed of a world full of flowers.Red, yellow, pink, white... There are a lot of flowers and luxuriant branches and leaves.The flowers swayed slightly in the breeze. Looking around, the whole world is colorful, and no place is dark and gray.

A boy stood in the flower group with his back to him, Lin Jianfan knew it was him.

Lin saw Fan calling his name.

"Gu Chaoming!"

When Gu Chaoming heard it, he turned around with a sunny smile on his face.

He smiles, he is the warm sun in winter, he is the morning sun of hope rising in a world full of flowers and brocades.

Lin saw Fan rushing over to hug him.

Hug very tight, very tight.

This way they don't have to separate again.