the world in which he exists

The silent night was silent, and the light snow outside the window stopped and stopped, irregularly.The cold of the winter night was isolated from the window, and the warmth of the blanket made Gu Chaoming fall asleep.

He was breathing evenly, and he had a dream.

He had a very long dream that seemed to wake up in an instant. He dreamed of what Lin Jianfan said that day after school when they really met for the first time.

Not that night, they met earlier.

Gu Chaoming dreamed of the first time he saw Lin Jianfan wearing a mask.Lin Jianfan turned around, the little yellow flower in his hand fell to the ground, he wanted to bend down to help Lin Jianfan pick it up, but he seemed to be in control, the world seemed to be in control, everything was according to the time of that day go ahead.

He couldn't bend down to help Lin Jianfan pick up the little yellow flower that fell on the ground, so he could only step back and wave to Lin Jianfan, then turned around and couldn't see Lin Jianfan again.

At this point, the dream woke up, like a nightmare.

In the dream, the dusk was heavy, the summer wind was mild, and the yellow flowers on the side of the road were in full bloom. No matter how you looked at it, it was a good dream.

Good dreams, bad dreams, Gu Chaoming couldn't judge, he opened his eyes.

He woke up naturally from his dream, and he was also forced to wake up by the sound of the outside world.

When he woke up, before he opened his eyes, Gu Zhaoming heard the sound of glass falling to the ground and breaking.

What fell in the dream was a small yellow flower, and what fell after waking up was the teacup in the living room.

Glass shards shattered all over the ground, and the water in the cup flowed to the ground without the glass blocking it.

Hearing the sound, Gu Chaoming opened his eyes and found that there was no one around him, and he didn't have time to put on his shoes. He rushed to the living room, saw the broken glass on the floor drowned in the tea, and saw Lin Jianfan standing in front of the broken glass. .

Gu Chaoming hurried forward to ask what was wrong, and took Lin Jianfan's finger to check if he was injured. Lin Jianfan said, "I just wanted to drink some water, and I broke the glass."

Like a kid who makes mistakes.

"It's okay." After checking Lin Jianfan's uninjured finger, Gu Chaoming patted him comfortingly, "Why don't you wear more? Get up without wearing a padded jacket?"

Lin saw that Fan was only wearing thin pajamas for sleeping.

"I want to drink water." Lin Jianfan said softly.

Still like the tone of a child making a mistake.

Gu Chaoming looked at him: "Go back to bed and lie down. It's cold outside. You have caught a cold. Go quickly. I'll bring you some water after I've tidied up here."

Like taking care of a child who makes mistakes.

Lin saw Fan obediently walking back to the room, Gu Chaoming watched him walk into the room before walking to the coffee table with peace of mind, and took out a few paper towels to clean up the broken glass on the floor.

When he squatted down to pick up the broken glass on the ground, there was the sound of someone walking behind him, and Gu Chaoming held the tissue he had drawn out and turned his head in a daze.

Lin Jianfan, who obediently went back to the room, did not go to bed, but came over with his slippers and pajamas after putting on his pajamas, put the pajamas on him, and put the cotton shoes on the floor.

Gu Chaoming ran out when he heard the sound. He ran too fast. He didn't have time to put on shoes or pajamas. He was used to the temperature of bare feet on the floor. When Lin saw Fan holding slippers in front of him, he felt that Cold soles.

Gu Chaoming put on his slippers, took Lin Jianfan's hand to hug him, and kissed him on the forehead.

The pajamas on her body slipped slightly because of the hug.

"Okay, it's not cold anymore," Gu Chaoming said to Lin Jianfan with a smile, "Go back to sleep, I'll be here later."

Lin Jianfan walked back to the room, Gu Chaoming watched him walk back to the room before squatting down again, and continued to clean up Lin Jianfan's broken glass.After tidying up, pour him a glass of warm water for him to drink. After drinking the warm water, Gu Chaoming put the water glass back in the living room before returning to the bedroom. Lin Jianfan was already asleep.

Gu Chaoming put Lin Jianfan's hand outside the quilt into the quilt, lay down beside Lin Jianfan and fell asleep.

Gu Chaoming closed his eyes, he didn't notice the "sleeping" Lin Jianfan's eyes opened after he fell asleep.

The next day was no different from the previous day. Gu Chaoming cooked, watched TV with Lin Jianfan, and told Lin Jianfan about Lin Jianfan with Lin's mother and Lao Chen.

Tell Lin's mother that he has persuaded Lin Jianfan to go home, and Lin Jianfan promised him to go home tomorrow morning, and he will send Lin Jianfan home.

Not going out at home, Lin Jianfan sat on the sofa covered with a blanket and watched TV, Gu Chaoming came over and sat next to Lin Jianfan after sending the message to Old Chen.

Seeing Fan leaning against him, Lin put his head on his shoulder and said, "Shi Cancan's birthday is tomorrow."

Shi Cancan?Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan. By the way, Shi Cancan is celebrating her birthday recently, and Lin Jianfan even bought her a birthday present.There are too many things these two days, Gu Chaoming forgot about Shi Cancan's birthday.

"Can you tell Li Zhao 'I'm sorry, I can't go for Shi Cancan's birthday' for me?" Lin Jianfan asked.

"Okay." Gu Chaoming nodded.

Lin Jianfan's mobile phone was kept in Gu Chaoming's hands, but Lin Jianfan didn't say anything, and asked him to help send messages.

After receiving Gu Chaoming's reply, Lin Jianfan said, "I'll tell you a secret."

"Huh?" Gu Chaoming raised his hand and stroked the top of Lin Jianfan's head leaning on his shoulder, "What secret?"

"Actually, apart from the sports meeting photos I gave you, I still have many sneak photos of you, including sneak shots at the sports meeting, sneak shots in the teaching building, sneak shots when you were cooking, and videos, all of which are stored in the computer in my room. password is………"

"Why did you tell me this?" Gu Chaoming lowered his head and approached Lin Jianfan's cheek and asked.

"It's nothing, I just want to tell you, I want you to know."

"Do you know how much you like me?" Gu Chaoming started to talk glibly again. Seeing that Fan didn't talk glibly about him this time, instead he gave a surprising "hmm".

"Why don't you say I'm glib today?" Gu Chaoming asked with a smile.

"You want to hear and I don't want to talk."

Sudden willfulness, Gu Chaoming squeezed Lin Jianfan's face close at hand: "Why are you becoming more and more domineering?"

"Learn from you, learn from your Gu family's fallacy." Lin Jianfan immediately received it.

"Don't learn these bad things from me." Gu Chaoming said, "Do you know what Lao Chen said to us when you first came here?"

"say what?"

"On the day you first came, I actually hid in the toilet and smoked. When I came out, I saw you splashing water on your face. Later, when I went back to the classroom, Lao Chen found that I was smoking. Lao Chen told me not to spoil you. Did you go back to the classroom? hear."

Lin on the shoulder saw Fan move: "I know you smoke in the toilet, I can smell it, but you don't seem to smoke anymore."

"I haven't smoked for a long time," Gu Chaoming laughed when he thought of the reason why he didn't smoke. "At that time, I wanted to say that to be a good student, I should quit smoking. In fact, I wanted to smoke but I couldn't help it. I was almost caught by the dean. Then I didn’t smoke much.”

"Smoking is not good, don't smoke in the future." Lin Jianfan ordered in the most ordinary tone.

"Okay, no smoking." Gu Chaoming said while stroking Lin Jianfan's head.

"I want to sleep." Lin Jianfan's eyes slowly closed.

"Let's go to sleep in the room." Gu Chaoming persuaded him, the person watching the shoulders had closed his eyes, planning to pick him up and go to sleep in the room.

Before he could move, Lin Jianfan lay down on Gu Chaoming's lap while pulling a heavy blanket along Gu Chaoming's chest, and said in a sticky voice, "The room is too far away, I just want to sleep here."

The room is too far away?Lin Jianfan's Gu's fallacy is very good.

With the sudden weight on his legs, Gu Chaoming let Lin Jianfan fall asleep, just because he was afraid that he would catch a cold and covered him with a blanket, and covered Lin Jianfan with the rest of the blanket, folded it and covered it twice, and Lin Jianfan still fell asleep. Fan protested that it was too hot.

On an ordinary winter day, Gu Chaoming patted Lin Jianfan who was asleep.When he was tired from watching TV, Gu Chaoming kissed Lin Jianfan's nose lightly, as if he had regained his vitality, and stared at Lin Jianfan's sleeping face.

Lin saw that Fan's sleeping face was very obedient, as obedient as a porcelain doll, Gu Chaoming couldn't help stroking his eyebrows, fearing that he would wake him up.

Touched the eyebrows, then the ears, a soft and fragile place.

Eye sockets, cheeks, chin, all the gentle touches ended in a kiss on the lips.

He leaned over and planted a kiss on Lin Jianfan's lips before continuing to slap the child to sleep.

Lin Jianfan was going to be sent home tomorrow, so Gu Chaoming checked the route, thinking about how to explain to Lin's mother, how to not look like the person who abducted her son.

Until he went to bed at night, Gu Chaoming was still imagining what it would be like to meet Lin Ma tomorrow.

Lying on the bed, Lin saw that Fan was not asleep, but approached him and asked, "Are you thinking about how to face my mother tomorrow?"

Gu Chaoming was surprised: "How do you know?"

"I guessed it from your expression." Lin Jianfan said.

"Expression?" Is your expression so easy to see through?Gu Chaoming thought.

Gu Chaoming was still thinking about his expression, but Lin Jianfan who approached said to him, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Gu Chaoming asked.

"Bring you in, Lao Chen will have some complaints about you in the future..." Lin Jianfan shrank into Gu Chaoming's arms.

Gu Chaoming reached out and hugged him: "What are you talking about, Lao Chen is very reasonable, how could he have any objections to me, and I was not dragged in by you, I did it voluntarily."

"Don't think too much, it's not your fault, you don't need to apologize. I've said sorry so many times before, don't say it now."

It's the people who bullied you who should say sorry, not you.

They are at fault, not you.

Gu Chaoming didn't say the last two sentences, for fear of provoking Lin Jianfan, he only complained silently in his heart.

"Sleep, don't think about it, I'll go home tomorrow. Tell your parents about you pretending to lose your memory to lie to them, and they will definitely understand you. They worry about you because they love you, not because they think you are their burden You said that you blamed yourself when you saw the worried eyes in their eyes, then only when you get better soon will they not be so worried, and you don't have to blame yourself so much."

Gu Chaoming leaned against Lin Jianfan's forehead, looked into Lin Jianfan's eyes and said to him: "You said you brought me worries, but you also brought me sunshine. Many things happened after I met you, all of which are It's going in a good direction."

"I used to think that my life was a wasteland, but you took the flower seeds and gave me a world full of flowers."

"I've always wanted to tell you that meeting you is my luck and the motivation for me to live, so please think of me when you can't live."

Gu Chaoming's words seemed to sense something.

He only perceives, and he is not sure, nor does he hope that his perception is correct.

Lin Jianfan quickly buried his head on Gu Chaoming's shoulder so that Gu Chaoming could not see the tears in his eyes.

Gu Chaoming hugged Lin Jianfan who was buried on his shoulder. He couldn't see the tears in Lin Jianfan's eyes, but he could feel the moisture on his shoulder.

Lin saw Fan was crying.

he knows.

Tired from crying, so tired that he fell asleep, the person in his arms was silent, Gu Chaoming hugged him gently, and helped the sleeping Lin Jianfan into a comfortable position.

"Good night, see you tomorrow." Gu Chaoming said to Lin Jianfan who closed his eyes.

Lin saw that the corners of Fan's eyes were still stained with tears.

Gu Chaoming had the dream from last night again, the dream where he couldn't control himself, the yellow flowers fell, and he waved his hands backwards.

He also woke up, but not with the shattering of a glass.

Feeling the movement of the people around him, even the slightest movement woke up the flustered Gu Chaoming.

Gu Chaoming grabbed Lin Jianfan who got up, and Lin Jianfan's wrist was still warm from the bed.

"I'm going to drink water." Lin Jianfan said.

Same statement as yesterday.

"I'm with you." Gu Chaoming said and got up from the quilt, and when he got up, he saw Lin Jianfan's hand shrunk in his pajamas.Lin Jianfan noticed his eyes, and hid his hands huddled in his pajamas even more behind his back.

Gu Chaoming knew that his feeling was not wrong.

Lin Jian Fan procrastinated the day he lived with him and said a lot, many words that seemed to be in the same direction after careful consideration.

Yesterday Lin Jianfan was using the last day he had won to say goodbye to him.

Say goodbye to this world.

He just promised to go home, but he didn't prepare to go home. He just wanted to spend a little more time with him, so that he wouldn't regret it.

He thought that Gu Chaoming couldn't see it, but what Gu Chaoming said to him before going to bed let him know that Gu Chaoming knew everything.

Gu Chaoming is trying to keep him, using himself to keep him.

I hope that the person who gives him the motivation to live can also be full of motivation to live because he is in this blossoming world.

Lin Jianfan was shaken by Gu Chaoming's retention, but he still hid a piece of glass while Gu Chaoming was not paying attention.The piece of glass was now being held in his palm, stained red with blood from the force.

A drop of red blood dripped on the floor in the dark night, no matter how Lin Jianfan hid, Gu Chaoming could clearly hear and see the sound of blood dripping on the floor.

The bright red blood is the evidence of the night.

Gu Chaoming glanced at the blood on the ground, then looked at Lin Jianfan questioningly, Lin Jianfan felt guilty and panicked, and dared not look directly at Gu Chaoming.

A force in his arm suddenly threw him onto the bed, Gu Chaoming held him down with one hand, but within a second the other hand violently snatched the sharp glass from his injured palm.

"What is this?! Huh?!" Gu Chaoming pressed Lin Jianfan, the bloody glass in his hand made him go crazy in the dark night, pressed Lin Jianfan almost furiously, and questioned him with the glass in his hand.

Gu Chaoming had never spoken to Lin Jianfan in such a furious and fierce tone, nor had he suppressed Lin Jianfan in such a purely restraining manner.

He was always gentle towards Lin Jianfan, always afraid that he would get hurt, and suppressing Lin Jianfan Gu Chaoming was afraid of hurting him, but Lin Jianfan's actions made him unacceptable.

Gu Chaoming's breath became angry, and he looked at Lin Jianfan with indescribable emotions.

Lin Jianfan, who was suppressed by him, didn't speak, he was just crying, crying continuously, tears slipping from the corners of his eyes into the pinnae.

It seems that he has been wronged, and he has been greatly wronged.

As soon as Lin Jianfan cried, Gu Chaoming's fury was like a dark cloud forced to rain, and was forced to dissipate by Lin Jianfan's tears.

The hand holding the bloody glass stopped, pressed down on Lin Jianfan's arm and withdrew his strength.

Lin saw that there was panic and fear in Fan's teary eyes, and Gu Chaoming was afraid that he would treat him as the person who bullied him in the next second, and would tell him, "Don't hit me."

Imagining that scene in his mind, Gu Chaoming's heart was pulled into a ball.

Throwing away the bloody glass in his hand, Gu Chaoming picked up Lin Jianfan who was crying on the bed, hugged him and patted him on the back: "I'm sorry, I didn't control it well."

Gu Chaoming hugged Lin Jianfan and sighed, he hadn't lost his temper for a long, long time.

He doesn't want to be like Gu Tao, but now he is angry with Lin Jianfan.

Gu Chaoming kept patting Lin Jianfan's back, and Lin Jianfan's tears wet his shoulders again.

Seeing Fan crying aggrievedly, Lin whispered as if Gu Chaoming would blame him if he made it any louder.

Gu Chaoming patted the palm of Lin Jianfan's back, and instead stroked the protruding bone of Lin Jianfan's neck: "Don't be afraid, cry out, I'm here, I'm here."

The crying stopped, the head on the shoulder moved, followed by howling.

Lin saw that Fan hugged him tighter and tighter, as if he wanted to hide in Gu Chaoming's body: "I'm so scared, Chaoming, I'm so scared, I'm so scared every day, I don't want to go home. I close my eyes, it's Zhu Shengquan's When I close my eyes, it is the old school, I dare not even sleep, I am afraid that it is just a dream now, and I will never wake up again after falling asleep, and return to that kind of life again.”

The muffled voice with tears, every sound, every word made Gu Chaoming feel distressed, he hugged Lin Jianfan back, and put his face close to Lin Jianfan's.

He didn't know what to do, it was all he could do.

"I'm here, I won't go back to the past, and I will go back with you when I go back to the past." Gu Chaoming hugged Lin Jianfan tightly and said.

Seeing that Fan kept crying, Lin didn't dare to sleep these days, and slept very lightly.After waking up from a nightmare, even though he was already sleeping in Gu Chaoming's arms, he still wanted to crawl into Gu Chaoming's arms, hiding in Gu Chaoming's arms was like hiding in a warm nest, no one could take him away.

Half awake, feeling the person in his arms moving, Gu Zhaoming would embrace Lin Jianfan with his half awake consciousness, but after a while, this half awake consciousness returned to sleep.

That was the most peaceful moment for Lin Jianfan throughout the night.

I haven't had a good rest in the past two days, I didn't sleep well at night, I cried a lot just now, and my body seemed to be exhausted. Lin Jianfan, who was lying on Gu Chaoming's shoulder, was so tired that he wanted to sleep, but he still refused to let go. He buried his head in the side of Gu Chaoming's neck.

Close your eyes and rest, breathing on Gu Chaoming's neck.

The well-proportioned hot air on the neck puffed out and then retracted. Gu Chaoming let Lin see Fan holding him, and felt that the person in his arms calmed down. Gu Chaoming's tense nerves were relieved.

I breathed a sigh of relief, but the nerves in my legs couldn't. Because I hugged Lin Jianfan, Lin Jianfan sat on his lap all the time, and Gu Chaoming's legs that were numb from Lin Jianfan's pillow in the afternoon couldn't move anymore. .

While Lin Jianfan was asleep, Gu Chaoming stood up and bent over slowly, trying to put down Lin Jianfan who was asleep.After crying at night, Lin Jianfan was extremely clingy, and before his back touched the bed, Lin Jianfan put his arms around Gu Chaoming's neck.

"Don't go." Lin Jianfan, who was asleep, opened his eyes.

"I won't go, I'll go get some medicine." Gu Chaoming touched the back of Lin Jianfan's head.

"I don't want to apply medicine." Lin Jianfan said.

"How is that possible?"

"You just don't let go." Lin Jianfan locked Gu Chaoming's neck tightly, leaving no gaps.

Gu Chaoming had no choice but hugged Lin Jianfan, picked up the pajamas that fell off the bed, covered him, and hugged him to take out the medicine box.

Hanging like a sleeping sloth on his body, Gu Chaoming took the medicine box and walked to the bedside to put Lin Jianfan down.

"I'll apply the medicine for you. I won't leave. I'm right here." Comforting Lin Jianfan, he put him down gently and covered him with the quilt. Lin Jianfan kept looking at him with his eyes open.

Gu Chaoming opened the medicine box and bandaged him, and he also stared at it, even though he was so sleepy that he kept staring at it.

"Why do you hurt yourself so much?" Gu Chaoming asked while helping Lin Jianfan treat the wound, "Do you know that you are hurting me by hurting yourself like this? Seeing you hurt, my heart is about to die of pain."

"I'm sorry." Lin Jianfan said.

The voice was sleepy, and Gu Chaoming was so scared that he didn't feel sleepy at all. Gu Chaoming advised him: "Sleep if you want to sleep, I will stay here and not go anywhere, I promise you will see me tomorrow."

Speaking of tomorrow, Lin Jianfan asked: "Tomorrow..."

Gu Chaoming knew what he wanted to say, and immediately rejected him: "No, I already told your mother that I will take you home. You have been out for two or three days. Your mother is very worried about you, even though I am also very worried about you. But you can't make your parents worry like that. I can't make them worry like that."

"Don't worry, I won't leave you alone." Gu Chaoming said.

"If I go home, my mother won't let me go to school, and I won't be able to see you." Lin Jianfan's words became more and more sleepy, but he was still thinking.

He seemed unable to trust anyone anymore, except Gu Chaoming.

Lin Jianfan knew that his parents' love for him was eternal and would not change. They cared about him and worked hard for him.He knew they loved him, he knew it perfectly, but he couldn't seem to trust them anymore.

No matter how kind they were to him, no matter how worried they were about him, Lin Jianfan couldn't forget the phone calls asking him to listen to the teacher carefully, and he couldn't forget that his mother treated what he said as a child's quarrel.

He knew that his mother was tired for him and paid for him. It wasn't that he couldn't see it, it wasn't that he was ignorant, he just couldn't find a way to believe it.

The door of belief is closed to him.

Gu Chaoming was the only one who desperately broke into his world and told him "you still have me" after he thought that this world could no longer be trusted.

That person would pull him behind in a protective posture, take his hand and lead him to escape, and jump off the high wall to drive away his bullies for him.

The school uniform that opens when he jumps is his cape.

Through the door of trust, came Gu Chaoming, the young man with yellow flowers on his fingertips.

He didn't want to go home, not only because he didn't want to see his parents' worried faces, but also because he felt at ease when he was with Gu Chaoming, and he felt safe when he was with Gu Chaoming, as if he was protected.

Spending two days with Gu Chaoming, he always regarded these two days as his last two days.

In the end, it was the boy he trusted who saw through him, pulled him tight, and understood him.

Thinking of facing his worried parents again and not being able to see Gu Chaoming who made him feel at ease, Lin Jianfan felt very scared, so scared that he just wanted to stick with Gu Chaoming so that he didn't have to separate.

Lin Jianfan once felt that Zhu Shengquan's love for him was perverted and disgusting.Now that I am relying on others and completely binding my trust to Gu Chaoming alone, it is also perverted...

"Don't worry, I'll tell your mother tomorrow that I will come to see you every day. If your mother won't let you talk for me, she will definitely let me."

Gu Chaoming smiled after finishing speaking: "I always feel that I am teaching you some bad things."

"Then can you sleep with me at night?" Lin Jianfan asked directly.

"Sleeping? This is unlikely." Gu Chaoming said, "I tried your mother's defense against the people around you when I sent you home."

When Lin saw Fan drunk and sent him home that time, Gu Chaoming thought that woman was difficult to deal with.

Lin Jianfan was silent for a while, Gu Chaoming treated his wound seriously and thought he was asleep, but when he looked up, he found that Lin Jianfan was not asleep, but was staring at him all the time.

"Is your boyfriend handsome?" Gu Chaoming didn't want the atmosphere to be too heavy, so he joked, "My eyes are full of shit now, I'm wearing pajamas, and your tears and snot are all over my neck and shoulders , what is there to see?"

"I don't have a runny nose." Lin Jianfan whispered.

Gu Chaoming deliberately teased him: "What did you say?"

"I said I didn't have a runny nose."

"what?"

"I said I love you."

The funny words were defeated by the sentence "I love you". Lin Jianfan understood Gu Chaoming's character and knew that Gu Chaoming wanted to make him happy.Gu Chaoming's way of making people happy is very useful. Lin Jianfan felt very happy when he said "I love you" to Gu Chaoming.

After a long time, Gu Chaoming said, "I love you too."