[First-year student] I am not him

The warm room, to be precise, is the room we used to share, and I haven't been in it for a long time.

The last time was when I was in high school. When it was time for dinner, he didn't come out for a long time. I was so urged by my parents that I was about to knock on the door and call him.

But the door opened as soon as it was touched.

Nuan Nuan fell asleep on the ground, still holding the drumsticks of the drum kit in her hand, and there were tears on her face.

I knew he wouldn't want to be seen by me in such a mess, so I quietly backed out again without waking him up.

That's the only time I've been in this room since I moved out.

However, that came and went in a hurry, and I didn't realize until I came in today that all the furnishings in this room are still exactly the same as when I moved out.

Except for the drum kit, basically nothing new was added.

Even our childhood toys are still there, arranged in pairs on wooden shelves.

Eye sockets are hot.

For so many years, I always thought he hated me.

But since you hate me, why do you keep these old toys?

He is too good at hiding his thoughts, and I can't figure it out even though I try my best.

"I didn't know that Nuan Nuan also likes to play drums." I know, Kongphop probably saw that I was trying to hold back tears, so he deliberately had nothing to say.

But he was right on point.

I walked over slowly, reaching out to caress the drums.

Although my mother would often come in to clean it, she didn't know how to maintain it. No one has used it for so many years, and this set of drum kits has long since become obsolete.

It was not a high-end brand at first, and I am afraid that in the future, it can only be kept as a warm memory for parents.

"He probably doesn't like it very much either." I said in a low voice.

In fact, I understand that the reason why he asks for a drum set is probably just to compare me.

At that time, I came across it by chance in the music club, and learned it casually for a while.

If you say you like it, you really like it, but it's not to the point where you can't put it down.

But for Nuan Nuan, my liking is already the original sin.

Probably since the day I lost him, the way we get along has been doomed.

When I was young, I couldn't help but blame him for being too vengeful.

It's just that if I do one thing wrong, I will never be given a chance to redeem it.

But after he left, I slowly realized that although there was only one thing I did wrong, that thing changed his life.

At that time, Nuan Nuan was not yet five years old, and before she got lost, she didn't even talk much.

But when he came back, he had already become a man with a brilliant tongue and a sophisticated appearance.

Such a young child can tell all kinds of lies to his parents with a normal expression.

At that time, I just thought he was too scary, but now looking back from an adult perspective, I can't help feeling distressed.

What kind of torture did those wandering days bring to him to make him look like that.

And the person who caused these changes, in the final analysis, is still me.

What position do I have to blame him again?

In the past, I was always unwilling to think about it, so I complained to him more than guilt in the end.

And now, perhaps because of Kongphop by my side, those unbearable memories are no longer so difficult for me to touch.

Listening to his steady breathing by my side in the middle of the night, I would occasionally think of the past.

It may be because the mentality is very different. Many people who felt that they had failed me at the beginning can often find new annotations later.

The one with the most memories, of course, is Nuan Nuan.

Nuan Nuan was really cute when she was young, and she followed me obediently, even if she didn't say a word, it made me feel at ease.

If I had known everything that happened later, I would have guarded him well that night and never left for a moment.

Then maybe we can grow up loving each other, and he won't change, and he won't die.

Too bad we can't turn back time.

So now we can only miss him in this deserted room.

"Let me play the drums for you." I smiled at Kongphop.

I don't want to cry either.

The time to come is long, and we have to think of Nuan Nuan many times, and we can't end in tears every time.

"You can also fight?" Kongphop suddenly showed a look of great interest, and he was very supportive.

I raised my eyebrows at him, took the worn drumstick, and tapped it casually a few times.

The sound is not right.

It is normal for a drum that has not been played or maintained for so many years to sound wrong, but the sound quality of the drum just now is indescribably strange.

My heartbeat accelerated a lot at this moment.

"What's wrong?" Kongphop may have seen the change in my face.

I didn't say a word, but squatted on the ground involuntarily.

At this moment, as if I really had some kind of telepathy with Nuan Nuan, I accidentally put my hand under the snare drum that made a strange sound.

Not surprisingly, there was a hole under the drum.

I just happened to be able to reach in and touch the contents.

Those are two thick notebooks.

Although I haven't seen the notebook yet, I'm already trembling badly.

"What's wrong? Arthit?" Seeing me like this, Kongphop quickly squatted down and reached out to support me.

What's wrong with me?I don't know either.

But he couldn't help feeling flustered.

I made a lot of determination to pull out those two notebooks.

A simple hardcover notepad that doesn't even have a pattern on the cover.After so many years of neglect, these two notebooks are covered with dust.

Kongphop held my hand and said in a low voice, "Let me see it first."

I shook my head, trembling with my fingertips on the book above for a long time before finally opening it.

The first thing that came into view were two envelopes that were already somewhat yellowed.

It didn't say who should accept it on the envelope, but each one was signed.

The words on the inscription are also exactly the same——

Nuan Nuan, a must.