[First-year student] I am not him

That is of course the best.

Arthit has thought for a long time that no matter who he falls in love with in the future, he must wait for the other person to take the initiative.

It's just that now I feel that if that person is Kongphop, it's not impossible for him to take that step first.

Anyway, with his character, he can always eat kongphop to death, and it probably doesn't matter who comes first in this matter of confession.

These thoughts turned over and over in Arthit's mind, causing the corners of his mouth to curl up all the time.

"Are you in spring?" Bright couldn't help joking when he saw him like this.

Arthit didn't even have the urge to argue with him.

Returning to the apartment alone, Arthit saw the book that he had placed next to the cabinet that day at a glance.

These books are exactly the stack that kongphop asked Not to return to him.

But kongphop was also careless, and even put a copy of his own in it.

He was obviously such a careful person when he was with him, but he didn't know why he was always so careless when he was alone.

Arthit shook his head, picked up the stack of books, and opened the drawer under the bed, trying to put it away.

Unexpectedly, a beautiful greeting card slipped out of kongphop's book.

Arthit's heart moved, and he subconsciously picked up the greeting card.

The greeting card is a bit old, it can be seen that it has been stored for some time.

His heart couldn't help sinking a little.

But his hands still involuntarily turned over the greeting card.

The first thing that catches the eye is an unexpected name.

"Warm and warm."

Arthit read aloud in a low voice, and the hand holding the greeting card suddenly trembled.

It was a love letter to confess.

Every word above seems to be full of the author's deep friendship.

It turned out that the light in the room was so dim that it was difficult for people to read these simple lines.

It was so hard that the heart seemed to be slowly being cut bit by bit by a blunt knife.

"I still remember the first time I saw you. The rain seemed to be just in time. After a long time, I still remember your smile at that time."

"I didn't understand at the time, but slowly I realized that maybe it was love at first sight."

"Can you accept me?"

"The next time we meet, I think we can have a new relationship."

Every word and sentence, sincerely.

However, the recipient was not him.

Arthit put down the greeting card slowly, and took out another thing from the book.

It was a group photo.

The group photo was deliberately folded up, revealing only one person.

Presumably I like it very much, so I miss it in this way.

Arthit groped for the face in the photo, but there was another wry smile on the corner of his mouth.

Sure enough, he was still being selfish.

After learning so many lessons, how could he always take chances.

But fortunately, the agreed Saturday has not yet come.

Otherwise, it would be really embarrassing.

☆、Chapter 16

"You looked better with your bangs down that morning."

"But today...looks very different, is it because I said bangs look good?"

"I don't know why, but I always feel that you are very suitable for this."

"Anyway, remember not to approach me."

"If it's about getting along with you, it should be fine, because that's exactly what I want."

History.

Looking back, Arthit realized that there were so many traces to follow.

It's really ironic to think about it, it turned out that kongphop's so focused eyes were not for him.

All he wanted to see was his face, which was the same as the one in the photo.

And he even pretended to be affectionate and thought that that kind of focus was because he liked it.

Another sleepless night.

Before dawn the next day, Arthit got up and took a shower.

During this period of time, Arthit would occasionally use hairspray to scratch his hair casually, except when he was afraid that he would not be majestic enough during the freshman training. At other times, he would loosen his bangs.

But now, looking at himself in the mirror, Arthit realized that he was so stupid with his bangs loose.

And he actually believed kongphop's words, thinking that this image was more suitable for him.

I also know that it has been changed for so many years, and it will only make people feel that it is against the law to force it into that appearance.

It's just that kongphop misses the appearance in the photo too much, so his eyes are always so greedy.

So, since that night, isn't he the one in kongphop's eyes?

Thinking of this fact, those memories suddenly became more embarrassing.

Originally thought it was just an ordinary drunken disorder.

Even after mistakenly thinking that he and the other party were in love, occasionally thinking about that night, he still felt sweet.

But now there is only irony left.

Turns out he was just a stand-in.

Arthit really wanted to get the memory of that night out of his head if he could.

Unfortunately, there is no such thing.

In the next few days, all of Arthit's actions can be summed up in one sentence.

That is trying to avoid kongphop as much as possible.

The two have been together for too long, and Kongphop already knows his range of activities well, so it is really troublesome to hide.

I often have to be late to enter the classroom, and the first one to rush out the door after class.

I never even went to the place I used to eat.

He couldn't eat it anyway.

As long as he can't see him, he can pretend that the two have no contact at all.

Although a bunch of missed calls and messages from him have accumulated on the phone.

But even if you have worked so hard, there are always times when you can't dodge.

After class that day, just being held down by Not and saying a few more words, kongphop easily blocked him in the classroom.

After a few days, seeing this person again, Arthit still couldn't help but feel a strong bitterness in his chest.

Not has already noticed what was wrong with him in the past few days, and of course he can guess that it has something to do with kongphop.

Seeing kongphop appear, he took a step forward knowingly.

Kongphop found him and heaved a visibly long sigh of relief.

Looking at him like this, Arthit found it even more ironic.

If he hadn't read the letter or the photo, he would still think that kongphop was really worried because of him.

Arthit stood up, expressionless: "What are you doing here?"

Kongphop seemed very unaccustomed to his indifference, he lowered his eyes and answered, "I haven't finished the book last time."

Seeing the book in his hand, Arthit's heart ached even more and was about to burst.

He wanted to say, I'm afraid it's not that I haven't paid it off, but I just took it wrong.

But in the end he still didn't say anything.

Seriously calculating every word, it can only make him look more embarrassed.

Like he really cared.

So he just reached out, trying to take the stack of books.

It's just that kongphop obviously didn't really have the sincerity to return it to him.

The stack of books was pulled by the two, but he still held it tightly.

Arthit raised his eyes and said coldly: "Let go."

"I will definitely let go, but I want to know why you didn't come on Saturday." Kongphop said, with some grievances in his eyes.

He even dared to be wronged.

Arthit took a deep breath and closed his eyes: "Don't you know what you did?"

Kongphop's expression paused: "Senior Arthit..."

Arthit deeply forgot into his eyes.

He knew that there was nothing but indifference in his eyes.

His voice was also deliberately restrained, without any emotion.

Probably in this way, the listener can feel that he doesn't care at all.

The classroom is very empty, so empty, I can only hear this sentence he said.

"It's not me who likes to drink pink panna cotta,"

☆、Chapter 17

The person who likes to drink pink panna cotta is not me.

Until a long time later, kongphop couldn't help but wonder what kind of mood Arthit senior was in when he said this sentence.

Such a stubborn person, even when he turned to leave, his face was expressionless.

But looking at his back straightened up again, Kongphop still couldn't help feeling like a knife was piercing his heart.

It took him a lot of time to make Arthit let go of his defenses, but it only took him a moment to build a stronger fortress for him.

He didn't want to hurt him so much.

But in the end, he still didn't defeat his own selfishness.

The moment Senior Arthit turned around, he wanted to hold his hand and keep him.

But in the end, this kind of thought just passed away in a flash in my mind.

He is no longer eligible.

Even if he always knew that Senior Arthit was not Nuan Nuan, even if his actions were just to alleviate the guilt towards Nuan Nuan in his heart, who would believe it.

Even he didn't believe it himself.

Because later on, he really fell in love with senior Arthit drinking pink panna cotta.

A person who is usually so high above him, every time he takes the pink panna cotta he bought, it seems that his appearance will change instantly, and he is so well-behaved.

Even if he said that he couldn't help but buy him drinks again and again just because of this kind of heartbeat, who would believe it.

Because when he bought the first cup, his original intention was enough to cover up all the later emotions.

In fact, kongphop has always known that this day will eventually come.

When he was with senior Arthit, he was like a criminal waiting to be sentenced to death. While he was afraid of the verdict, he wanted to be freed as soon as possible.

He even thought about intentionally making Senior Arthit aware of Nuan Nuan's existence.

He hesitated again and again, but still put away the cards and photos he had prepared.

It's just that he didn't expect that after he was addicted to getting along with senior Arthit, he accidentally mixed the book with the greeting card and photos into senior Arthit's book in a hurry.

This is probably retribution.

In the past, he always took out Nuan Nuan's photos from time to time to have a look.

And recently, he couldn't remember how long he hadn't remembered that photo.Even, if Senior Arthit hadn't pointed it out, he wouldn't have noticed that the original book was missing.

It was really retribution, fate's retribution for his ruthlessness.

Two people who are so close, just like this, suddenly become strangers.

However, kongphop still couldn't help following Arthit's senior's work and rest schedule, and quietly hid in places where he would pass by.

At least to see him once in a while.

This occasional glance is probably the strength that supports him to continue living.

But recently he seems to have lost the ability to hide his emotions, and he looks like a walking dead at any time.

Is this emotion for Senior Arthit, or for Nuan Nuan?

He was actually afraid to go deeper.

Since they are all to be separated, it's better to just be confused like this.

But kongphop didn't expect that one day, he would receive a call from Arthit's senior.

The moment he saw his name flashing on the screen of his mobile phone, kongphop thought he was in a dream in a trance.

When he realized that this was indeed reality, he still didn't dare to pick it up.

He was afraid that Senior Arthit, who heard his voice, would suddenly find out that he just made a wrong call.

Let him be happy for nothing.

But this timidity only lasted in his mind for a moment.

In the next moment, he quickly swiped his finger in the direction of answering.

Even if it's a typo, as long as Senior Arthit said it to him, it can be regarded as a rare communication in so many days.

He put the phone to his ear, not daring to breathe hard.

After being quiet for a long time, Senior Arthit's voice finally came from the other side: "kongphop, let's meet."

-----------------------

In that phone call, Senior Arthit only hurriedly said the time and place to meet before hanging up, probably because he was afraid of being left alone.

It seems that the two of them really don't have much to talk about now.

Kongphop guessed wildly for a long time, and couldn't figure out why Senior Arthit still asked him to meet.

However, some vitality finally appeared on his lifeless face.

Before the appointed time, kongphop arrived early.

It's just that he didn't expect that Senior Arthit arrived earlier than him.

Obviously, he could sneak a few glances every day, but now seeing Senior Arthit standing upright not far away, kongphop still felt that the two had been parted for a long time.

He wanted to walk over, but he hesitated to take a step.

What did Senior Arthit want to say?

But no matter what you say, this time will probably be the last time the two of them get together alone.

Maybe a few simple words will be broken up, and from then on, people will not see each other in close proximity.

Thinking of these, kongphop couldn't make further progress.

I hid in the corner and watched him for a long time, and before I knew it, the agreed time had passed.

Senior Arthit looked at his watch a few times, and finally even picked up his phone. Kongphop finally walked behind him and said in a low voice, "Senior Arthit, I'm here."

Unexpectedly, Arthit turned around and smiled at him: "I was just about to make a call."

Kongphop couldn't help being a little dazed, but he quickly reacted: "What does Senior Arthit want from me?"

"Change another place." Senior Arthit took a deep breath, as if he had made up his mind again, "change another place, I have something to tell you. Follow me."

After speaking, Senior Arthit turned around first and walked forward.

The indifference or quarrel that kongphop thought had never happened, and he felt more confused.

Tonight's senior Arthit seemed to be smiling a little bit all the time.

But it was obviously not from the heart.

This kind of cautious smile is not very comforting.

Kongphop just feels distressed.

He would rather Senior Arthit be like the last time he met, so proud that he would not even look at him more.

Even if it is to beat him up.

Just don't hurt yourself like this.

Senior Arthit's destination should be the Rama VIII Bridge.

This section of the road is not long, but they have walked for a long time.

There was silence all the way, until the bridge was almost at the end, and Senior Arthit finally stopped, lying on the railing, quietly watching the darker river water under the night.

Kongphop's gaze followed him unconsciously.

"kongphop," senior Arthit finally said, "are you tired?"

Kongphop seemed to understand what he was asking in an instant.

He murmured for a while before slowly opening his mouth: "I'm not tired."

Arthit lowered his head, took a deep breath, and then continued: "I seriously ask you, will you not feel tired if you hold an impossible relationship? He will never come back, you want to love like this His life?"

Hearing that he took the initiative to mention Nuan Nuan, Kongphop couldn't help but feel an indescribable sense of guilt.

But he didn't know whether this guilt was because of Nuan Nuan or Arthit

Or rather, both.

Do you love Nuan Nuan for a lifetime?

For a long time, he really thought so.

But now I dare not think about it.

"I've never seriously thought about this question. Since he left," he shifted his gaze to Senior Arthit next to him, "I hardly dare to think about him."

His words seemed to instantly ignite Senior Arthit's anger.

"What an infatuation, you said you dare not remember everything about him? What does everything include? Including bangs? Pink panna cotta?" Arthit's every word seemed to hit kongphop's heart, "I foolishly When you put down your bangs and drink pink panna cotta, who do you see?"

Kongphop's fists clenched quietly.

It's you, it's always been you.

But this sentence, he couldn't say it.

Because I understand, even if I say it, Arthit senior will not believe it.

It can only appear that he is lying even more.

Senior Arthit gave a low laugh, but the laughter was full of bitterness.

"Since you love him so much..." His original excitement disappeared at this moment, and even his tone became sluggish. He said the simple words with extreme difficulty, "Why do you still let me fall in love with you?" ?”

Why... still let me fall in love with you?

This questioning voice was very soft, but it seemed to have infinite power, and it beat Kongphop out of breath.

Yeah, why.

Obviously at the beginning, he told himself repeatedly not to provoke Arthit senior.

But in the end, why can't I control myself.

He heard Senior Arthit say that he loves him.

But why is this love so heavy.

Heavy to suffocating.

Senior Arthit looked at him with deeper eyes: "kongphop, let's be together."

Kongphop couldn't help being dazed for a while.

He never thought that senior Arthit would say this to him tonight.

But Arthit didn't give him a chance to react.

He stretched out his hand, grabbed Kongphop's tie and pulled it, and kissed him without any explanation.

Cars came and went on the Rama VIII Bridge, but at this moment, it seemed that someone had pressed the mute in their ears.

All sounds are silent.

Even the kiss was quiet.

The lips of the two of them stuck together peacefully, and neither of them went any further.

But Kongphop still felt that a cluster of flames was burning between the lips of the two who touched.

Burning people dizzy.

He never dared to think that there would be a day when he was so close to senior Arthit in his life.

After an unknown amount of time, Senior Arthit finally pushed him away again.

Kongphop looked at him helplessly, not knowing how to react.

Senior Arthit's eyes were wet, and after all, he turned his gaze to the side under his serious gaze.

But in his mouth, he still said the words like a declaration of war.

"I will make you fall in love with me, Mr. Kongphop."

for sure.

☆、Chapter 18

In that phone call, Senior Arthit only hurriedly said the time and place to meet before hanging up, probably because he was afraid of being left alone.

It seems that the two of them really don't have much to talk about now.

Kongphop guessed wildly for a long time, and couldn't figure out why Senior Arthit still asked him to meet.

However, some vitality finally appeared on his lifeless face.

Before the appointed time, Kongphop arrived early.

It's just that he didn't expect that Senior Arthit arrived earlier than him.

Although he could sneak a few glances every day, but now seeing Senior Arthit standing upright not far away, Kongphop still felt that the two had been parted for a long time.

He wanted to walk over, but he hesitated to take a step.

What did Senior Arthit want to say?

But no matter what you say, this time will probably be the last time the two of them get together alone.

Maybe a few simple words will be broken up, and from then on, people will not see each other in close proximity.

Thinking of these, Kongphop couldn't move forward.

I hid in the corner and watched him for a long time, and before I knew it, the agreed time had passed.

Senior Arthit checked his watch a few times, and finally even picked up his phone, before Kongphop finally walked behind him and said in a low voice, "Senior Arthit, I've arrived."

Unexpectedly, Arthit turned around and smiled at him: "I was just about to make a call."

Kongphop couldn't help being a little dazed, but he quickly reacted: "What does Senior Arthit want from me?"

"Change to another place." Senior Arthit took a deep breath, as if he had made up his mind again, "Change to another place, I have something to tell you. Follow me."

After speaking, Senior Arthit turned around first and walked forward.

The indifference or quarrel that Kongphop originally thought did not happen, and he felt more at a loss.

Tonight's senior Arthit seemed to be smiling a little bit all the time.

But it was obviously not from the heart.

This kind of cautious smile is not very comforting.

Kongphop just felt distressed.

He would rather Senior Arthit be like the last time he met, so proud that he would not even look at him more.

Even if it is to beat him up.

Just don't hurt yourself like this.

Senior Arthit's destination should be the Rama VIII Bridge.

This section of the road is not long, but they have walked for a long time.

There was silence all the way, until the bridge was almost at the end, and Senior Arthit finally stopped, lying on the railing, quietly watching the darker river water under the night.

Kongphop's gaze followed him unconsciously.

"Kongphop." Senior Arthit finally said, "Are you tired?"

Kongphop seemed to understand what he was asking in an instant.

He murmured for a while before slowly opening his mouth: "I'm not tired."

Arthit lowered his head, took a deep breath, and then continued: "I seriously ask you, will you not feel tired if you hold an impossible relationship? He will never come back, you want to love like this His life?"

Hearing him take the initiative to mention Nuan Nuan, Kongphop couldn't help but feel an indescribable sense of guilt.

But he didn't know whether this guilt was because of Nuan Nuan or Arthit.

Or rather, both.

Do you love Nuan Nuan for a lifetime?

For a long time, he really thought so.

But now I dare not think about it.

"I've never seriously thought about this question, since he left—" His eyes shifted to Senior Arthit next to him, "I hardly dare to think about him."

His words seemed to instantly ignite Senior Arthit's anger.

"What an infatuation, you said you dare not remember everything about him? What does everything include? Including bangs? Pink panna cotta?" Arthit's every word seemed to hit Kongphop's heart, "I foolishly When you put down your bangs and drink pink panna cotta, who do you see?"

Kongphop's fists clenched quietly.

It's you, it's always been you.

But this sentence, he couldn't say it.

Because I understand, even if I say it, Arthit senior will not believe it.

It can only appear that he is lying even more.

Senior Arthit gave a low laugh, but the laughter was full of bitterness.

"Since you love him so much..." His original excitement disappeared at this moment, and even his tone became sluggish. He said the simple words with extreme difficulty, "Why do you still let me fall in love with you?" ?”

Why... still let me fall in love with you?

This questioning voice was very soft, but it seemed to have infinite power, and it beat Kongphop out of breath.

Yeah, why.

Obviously at the beginning, he told himself repeatedly not to provoke Arthit senior.

But in the end, why can't I control myself.

He heard Senior Arthit say that he loves him.

But why is this love so heavy.

Heavy to suffocating.

Senior Arthit looked at him with deeper eyes: "Kongphop, let's be together."

Kongphop couldn't help being dazed for a while.

He never thought that senior Arthit would say this to him tonight.

But Arthit didn't give him a chance to react.

He stretched out his hand, grabbed Kongphop's tie and tugged, and kissed him without any explanation.

Cars came and went on the Rama VIII Bridge, but at this moment, it seemed that someone had pressed the mute in their ears.

All sounds are silent.

Even the kiss was quiet.

The lips of the two of them stuck together peacefully, and neither of them went any further.

But Kongphop still felt that a cluster of flames was burning between the lips that touched the two.

Burning people dizzy.

He never dared to think that there would be a day when he was so close to senior Arthit in his life.

After an unknown amount of time, Senior Arthit finally pushed him away again.

Kongphop looked at him helplessly, not knowing how to react.

Senior Arthit's eyes were wet, and after all, he turned his gaze to the side under his serious gaze.

But in his mouth, he still said the words like a declaration of war.

"I will make you fall in love with me, Mr. Kongphop."

for sure.

"I will make you fall in love with me, Mr. Kongphop."

Such an imposing sentence made Kongphop feel a burst of helplessness and sadness that could not be concealed.

But he is still thankful now, thankfully Senior Arthit didn't give him a chance to refuse.

Otherwise, he really didn't know how to say the word "no".

They were obviously the two who had just decided to be together, but after the kiss, there was only an unspeakable silence in the air.

There is no sweet taste that lovers should have.

After a long silence, Senior Arthit finally turned around first and continued walking towards the end of the bridge.

The two people who were supposed to walk side by side walked extremely slowly, one behind the other.

The back of senior Arthit in front is still straight, Kongphop understands that even though he has decided to be with him, he still has not let go of his defense.

Are you willing to try to be with him again even if you are heavily guarded?

How did the always proud senior Arthit convince himself to make such a decision?

How is he worth it.

The more he thought about it, the worse Kongphop's heart ached.

Looking at senior Arthit who was walking slowly ahead, he always had the urge to hold him in his arms.

But in the end it didn't happen.

Two people who have just decided to become a couple, although awkward, are not suitable for breaking up.

In order to break this delicate atmosphere, the two finally walked into the noisy crowd and sat down at a random food stall.

But where is the mind to eat.

Seeing that senior Arthit started pouring beer down his mouth again, Kongphop couldn't help but stop: "Senior, don't drink."

Arthit's hand was blocked by him, but he only paused and pushed his hand aside.

Arthit also looked up and smiled at him: "I want to drink."

He has never liked to smile, and every smile once made Kongphop feel extremely precious.

But now, he seems to be able to smile at Kongphop anytime and anywhere.

But such a smile is like a nail, piercing Kongphop's heart.

So the words that stopped him could no longer be uttered.

Of course, Arthit's drinking capacity is not likely to increase in such a short period of time.

After a few glasses of beer, his eyes blurred.

It's just that tonight, even if he was drunk, he still forbeared, lying quietly by the table, watching the crowds of people on the side of the road.

"Senior, let me take you back." Kongphop lowered his body and helped him up.

Arthit stood up with his strength, turned to look at him: "I want to go to your place."

After saying this, Arthit hastily lowered his face again.

It seems that just this one sentence gave him a lot of courage.

After drinking so much wine, I probably just want to say this sentence through drunkenness.

Kongphop hugged his shoulders tightly, and simply replied with one word: "Okay."

In the taxi back, Arthit was lying on his shoulders with his eyes closed, because of the faint smell of alcohol in the air, this posture would not make people feel awkward.

Arthit's breath hit his neck, it was extremely warm.

Kongphop couldn't help holding his shoulders tightly, and rested his chin on his head.

Before today, he never dared to think that he could still snuggle up with Senior Arthit in this position.

This mutual cuddling posture seemed to carry a kind of magic power, which made most of his fatigue these days disappear.

Although the road ahead is still bleak, this posture alone gives him some courage to move forward.

The senior who was drunk today was extremely well-behaved, and entered the apartment with his support almost by command and movement.

As soon as he entered, Kongphop helped him onto the bed.

But after lying on the bed for half a minute, Senior Arthit struggled to get up: "I'm going to take a shower."

He looked at Kongphop with firm and stubborn eyes.

Kongphop could only help him into the bathroom again.

No matter how well-behaved Senior Arthit is now, he is still a drunk person after all. He turned on the shower for some reason, and poured cold water that had not been adjusted in temperature, and the clothes on the two of them were soaked a lot.

Kongphop subconsciously hugged Arthit in his arms, pouring cold water on his back from the top of his head.

"The clothes are all wet." Arthit whispered into his arms.

Kongphop's heart skipped a beat for an instant.

Arthit had already reached out and took off his coat.

The water above the head has gradually heated up.

……

Perfunctorily giving Senior Arthit a quick shower, Kongphop hurriedly wrapped him in a towel and threw him on the bed.

When he returned to the bathroom and took off his soaked clothes, before he could take a shower, he heard a loud bang outside.

Kongphop hurried out of the bathroom.

I saw Arthit lying on the ground, looking up at him pitifully: "I want to blow my hair."

It's really not the same thing to sleep with such wet hair.

It's just that he originally wanted to take a shower and then blow it for him.

But looking at the situation, it was obvious that this plan would not work.

So Kongphop had no choice but to wrap a towel around him, help him up, and then help him blow-dry his hair.

Arthit a big man