I am at odds with the school grass

After the holiday, Wen Chenyang went to a summer art training institution to do a part-time job, not to teach musical instruments, but to distribute leaflets at the gate of the primary school. It was a hard and tiring part-time job. He agreed to do it just because he didn’t want to let himself be idle. A lot, once you think too much, you will be stuck in pain and unable to get out.

Now, Gu Xizhe is no longer by his side, he has lost his only support, he has to bear everything by himself, suffering and tiredness can temporarily anesthetize himself.

The insomnia symptoms that had been improved swept over again. He didn't know if he fell asleep for two or three hours a day. He even wondered in the silent night whether he would die suddenly and no one would find out.

Volunteer team No. 18 started. There were five groups of volunteers, each going to a different place. Wen Chenyang was in Su Yike's group. There were five of them, three men and two women. Su Yike was the team leader.

The place they went to this time is called Qinshui Village, which is in the northernmost mountainous area of ​​the province.They first have to take a five-hour bus to Wangcheng, and then take a one-hour bus from Wangcheng to Lian'an Town. After arriving in Lian'an Town, it is still more than ten kilometers away from Qinshui Village.

Su Yike transported the materials for this public welfare activity to Lian'an Town through logistics in advance. After arriving in Lian'an Town, they first went to the logistics station to sign for the materials, and then hired a tricycle to send the materials and their luggage to Qinshui Village. They chartered another car to follow behind.

Qinshui Village is relatively backward. The last section of the mountain road has not been paved with cement. It is a relatively narrow dirt road. Only motorcycles can pass, and tricycles and small cars cannot pass.

The place where they got off was at the foot of a mountain, and Qinshui Village was on the back of the mountain. In other words, they needed to climb another mountain to move the load of supplies and luggage.

They were a group of five people, and two girls, who moved so many things back and forth many times, and they might not be able to move them all after dark.After deliberation, it was finally decided that Wen Chenyang and Su Yike would go to explore the road first and ask for assistance from the villagers, while the other three would stay put and take care of the supplies and luggage.

Wen Chenyang and Su Yike walked the mountain road for half an hour before arriving at Qinshui Village. This place is indeed relatively backward. There are some houses scattered on the hillside and at the foot of the mountain, most of which are old houses from decades ago. There is no running water here. Many capable people bought houses in towns or county towns and moved out. Most of the rest are poor households.

There are still thirteen households left in the village, half of which are widowed and lonely old people. I heard that there was a major mining accident more than 20 years ago. Many people in Qinshui Village died in the mining accident, which caused the elderly in this village to lose their sons. When you get old, no one cares for you.

Su Yike and Wen Chenyang found the village committee, and the village chief arranged for two middle-aged people from the village to drive motorcycles to help them transport supplies.

The transportation capacity of the motorcycle was limited, and human assistance was needed. Su Yike finally decided that the three boys would move things, and the girls would take care of them. With the help of two people from the village, they finally moved all the supplies and luggage in when it was dark.

After a day of exhaustion and high-intensity transportation, the five volunteers were exhausted, and the village head arranged for them to have dinner at home.

After the meal, the five volunteers found a place to pitch tents. The village head originally wanted to arrange for them to live in the villagers' homes, but they felt that it would not be good to live in other people's homes during the Chinese New Year, so they prepared tents early.

By the time they pitched their tents, it was already ten o'clock in the evening. Everyone was too tired to move, and they fell asleep without taking a shower.

Today's weather is very clear, the sun rises during the day, and at night, you can see the stars and the moon as soon as you look up. It is very clear, much clearer than what you can see in the city.

The place where they pitched their tent was on a flat land on the mountainside. It used to be a piece of land, but it was abandoned and overgrown with grass.

From this place, you can see the whole Qinshui Village, and only a few lights can be seen in the dark. People here go to bed early, and some go to bed at □□, so at this point, it is very quiet, and occasionally I hear bark.

Wen Chenyang was tired all day, but he still didn't feel sleepy.

He shared a tent with Su Yike, and Su Yike was resting in the tent. He didn't want to disturb him, so he sat outside the tent by himself.

In the mountains at night, the temperature dropped a lot, only five or six degrees left, and the fire they had just lit for lighting was still burning. He put on his coat, sat by the fire, took out a cigarette, and The flames of the fire were lit.

His recent smoking addiction is a bit heavy.

However, it was also expected that breaking up with Gu Xizhe would be a blow to him, but he believed that the sadness was only temporary, and he would get used to it in the future.

Footsteps came from behind, Wen Chenyang turned around and found Su Yike coming out wrapped in a down jacket.

"Why haven't you slept yet?" Wen Chenyang asked.

"Can't sleep." Su Yike looked at him smoking, but was a little surprised, "I didn't know you could smoke."

Wen Chenyang shook the cigarette ash on his hand, "I just smoked it recently."

Su Yike walked over and sat down beside him.

Wen Chenyang subconsciously extinguished the cigarette butt in his hand, as long as someone approached him, he would not smoke, because he used to hate smoking other people's second-hand smoke, and he did not want others to smoke his second-hand smoke.

"You and Gu Xizhe, what's going on?" Su Yike asked casually. Although Wen Chenyang didn't say anything, his intuition told him that there was a problem between Wen Chenyang and Gu Xizhe.

Wen Chenyang lifted the coat on his shoulders, "It's divided."

"So suddenly?"

Wen Chenyang smiled wryly, "It's not sudden, in fact, from the moment we were together, I knew there would be such a day."

"Is it because Xiao Yi and I made you doubt the love between the same sex?"

Wen Chenyang looked at the flames in front of him, "It doesn't count, I've always been very clear that two men can't last long, no matter from the perspective of internal factors or external factors."

Su Yike added a piece of firewood to the fire, "You are too rational to analyze internal and external factors when you are in a relationship, and so is Gu Xizhe. An estimate like yours is destined not to be vigorous."

"The vigorous consequences are very tragic."

Su Yike tilted his head, "You mean me and Xiao Yi?"

Wen Chenyang smiled, "I didn't specify."

Su Yike rested her chin, suddenly curious, "Why did you break up with him?"

"Why do you think I must have mentioned it?"

Su Yike said: "Guess, people like Gu Xizhe probably wouldn't take the initiative to break up."

What Su Yike said is correct, Gu Xizhe really doesn't seem like he would take the initiative to break up, Wen Chenyang said: "Actually, I plan to continue walking with him, and when my relationship with him naturally fades, we will separate naturally , but his mother found out. His mother treats me like a son, and I don't want her to be sad. "

"That's all?"

"More than that, Gu Xizhe is actually a straight man. Really, he should have liked a girl, had a romantic love story, and a happy family. I dragged him into this muddy water. Same-sex couples After all, I won’t be recognized or protected, and will even be regarded as a different kind. If I insist on being with him, I will gain love, but at the same time, I will lose a lot. In the long run, it’s not worth it.”

Su Yike sighed lightly. When he and Xiao Yi were together, he only thought about being together, and didn't think about it that much. "So, you are too sensible."

"probably."

Su Yike asked again: "Will you miss him?"

Facing Su Yike, Wen Chenyang didn't want to lie, and his eye sockets turned red very sensitively, "Thinking, thinking like crazy, I have wanted to pick up my phone countless times to send him messages, call him, want to run over to find him, and talk to him Together again, hold back."

"He didn't look for you either?"

"No." Wen Chenyang smiled bitterly, "He is more self-disciplined than me, so self-disciplined that it makes people feel dull."

The two sat on the grass, the fire in front of them was getting smaller and smaller, and they didn't add any more firewood. Wen Chenyang looked up at the stars for a while, and his eyes felt a little sour for no reason.

"President, have you ever seen a gay person spend his whole life with the blessing of his parents in reality?"

Su Yike shook his head, "No, there are actually quite a few homosexuals in my circle, some are in unrequited love, some are played with, some really love each other but can't be together in the end, and some hide their sexuality and Heterosexual married."

"That's really sad." Wen Chenyang said with emotion.

-

The next day, everyone ate some dry food brought over for breakfast, prepared to distribute the supplies brought over yesterday, and visited.

There are thirteen households in the village, six of them are widows and orphans, and they already have lists in their hands.Su Yike divided the supplies into six parts, including quilts, buckets, pots, rice and other daily necessities.

Six households were sent door-to-door, one person moved a little, and five people went there together.

The first family is two old people. According to the data, the two old people are both over 70 years old. The male has a stroke in the past few years and has limited mobility. He relies on his 70-year-old wife to take care of him.

The two old people lived in a mud brick house. Some years ago, the outer walls of the house were peeled off. The lighting in the house was not very good, and it was a little dark. The lights in the house were not turned on during the day, making it very dark.

Su Yike and Wen Chenyang walked in front and knocked on the open door, "Hello?"

No one answered in the room, so Wen Chenyang knocked again, "Hello, is anyone home?"

After a while, an old woman with a hunched waist came out. She looked at the young people at the door and asked in the local dialect, "Which one are you looking for?"

Su Yike vaguely understood, and he replied: "We are volunteers of a charity fund in Mucheng, and we came here today to send condolence supplies to you."

The old woman couldn't understand, pointed to her ear, and said in dialect: "What are you talking about? I don't understand."

Zhang Sufen behind said: "Leader, let me explain to her."

Zhang Sufen came forward with a bucket and some pots and utensils in her hand. She said in dialect: "Grandma, we are from Mucheng. We have a public welfare activity now, going to the countryside to bring warmth to the widowed and lonely elderly. These things are what we want." For you."

The old man remembered that the village cadres did come to the house and said that she couldn't remember it for a while, let alone such a good thing, she hurriedly said enthusiastically: "Come on, come in and sit down, come in and sit down, I'll make you some tea." .”

Zhang Sufen acted as an interpreter and said to the others: "Grandma said let's go in and have a sit."

Several people entered the room together, Su Yike said: "Sufen, your dialect is a bit similar to the one here."

Zhang Sufen smiled, "That's right, our city is next door, and we speak the same language."

The room is very narrow. It is said that it is a living room, but there is actually a cooking stove in it. There are dry firewood piled up in the corner, a square table is placed against the wall, and there are only two benches. It was easy to sit, so Su Yike and Wen Chenyang had to stand.

Wen Chenyang looked around for a week. Apart from the light bulb on the top of the head, there were no other electrical appliances in the house. After the mud brick house was old, the inner and outer walls were a little peeled off, and it felt like a dilapidated house.

The old lady was getting old, and her actions were not considered agile. She took out five bowls and poured a bowl of tea for each of them. The tea was cold, and they didn't feel disgusted. They all drank it happily. point.

After drinking tea, Zhang Sufen, as the only person with whom she could speak the same language, began to communicate with her about the situation at home. As stated in the information, she also had a wife who suffered a stroke and was unable to do anything. She had to be taken care of. .

After learning about the situation, several people went to visit her wife.

After delivering the supplies and understanding the situation, they went on to the next family.

After distributing the materials and recording the situation of each household, it was already sunset after completing the task.

They left a set of utensils and cooked for themselves every day. The two girls were in charge of the meals, and the vegetables and rice were purchased from the villagers.

The three boys worked together to make a table with chopped bamboo, which can be used for meals and meetings.

In addition, they also set up a simple shower room and a toilet. They were so busy all day long that they never stopped.

Although they are very tired, they are very fulfilling. Wen Chenyang likes this sense of fulfillment very much. This feeling makes him feel that living in this world is very meaningful.

The five volunteers were all from Nantah University. Two girls were freshmen from the Department of Communication, one named Xu Ting and the other Zhang Sufen, and the other boy was a junior student from the Department of Chemistry named Wang Mingran.

Although the five people have only known each other for two days, they have experienced many things together and overcome many difficulties. At this time, they are like a family.

The five of them had dinner around the small table they made, and then started chatting around the fire, talking about some ideas about visiting the widowed elderly today, how to help the widowed elderly, and finally Su Yike arranged tomorrow's work.

Tomorrow is Lunar New Year's Day 26, and they plan to chop firewood and send it to those elderly families who have already lost their mobility.

At ten o'clock, the other three people said they were sleepy and went back to the tent to rest.

Wen Chenyang was still sitting there indifferently, Su Yike patted him on the shoulder, "I've been tired all day today, go to sleep, tomorrow is physical work again."

Wen Chenyang said: "Go to sleep first, I won't be able to fall asleep so soon."

Su Yike sat down again, he remembered that Wen Chenyang had depression, "Did he suffer from depression again?"

Wen Chenyang smiled, "It's not considered a relapse. It has been with me for the past six months. Sometimes the symptoms are milder, and sometimes the symptoms are more serious."

Su Yike sighed, "I used to think that anyone can get depression, and a lively and cheerful person like you will definitely not."

Wen Chenyang said: "Then you are prejudiced."

"Maybe." Su Yike looked at him, inexplicably distressed. He once felt that he was very pitiful and broke up with the person he loved for six years. But in comparison, he found that Wen Chenyang was the most pitiful. He lost Gu Xizhe lost his mother and suffered from depression. Originally, Gu Xizhe was God's blessing to him, but now he doesn't even have that blessing.

"Chenyang, you must get better."

Wen Chenyang turned his head to look at him and smiled, "It will be fine, I believe time will heal everything."

"Well, I think so too."

Wen Chenyang recalled the scene of visiting the widowed and lonely old people today. Most of them lived in difficulties, had no financial income, and lived on the national subsistence allowances. Sometimes they just ate some sweet potatoes with their own pickled vegetables for a meal. He felt a lot of emotion in his heart. , "Actually, I went to see those widowed and lonely old people today, and I was quite touched. It is so difficult for them to just live, but we have more things than them, and our life is richer. What is there to be dissatisfied with?"

Su Yike said: "Yes, we should all be content."

"So, even if depression follows me all my life, I won't give up on myself."

Su Yike smiled gratifiedly, "Well, your idea is very positive, yes, you can regulate yourself, I believe you can come out."

"of course."

Su Yike stood up, "It's a bit cold outside, let's go into the tent."

"Go to sleep first, I'm tossing and turning for fear of disturbing you."

"What are you afraid of? I sleep very well. Even if you sing in it, you won't bother me." The temperature in the mountains is very low, and the air is biting at night. Su Yike folded his down jacket and said, "Let's go."

Wen Chenyang got up and followed him into the tent. The tents of the two of them were quite spacious, and they each had sleeping bags. Even if the temperature outside was only a few degrees, sleeping in the sleeping bags was still very warm.