love letter to summer

"Have you heard of 'socialization'?"

Ye Ji shook his head.

Ye Ma: "Mencius once said such a sentence: "When people see a child about to fall into the well, they all have a heart of fear and compassion; it is not because they are friends with the parents of the child, and it is not because they want to be praised by the friends of the township party. The sound of evil is natural', which means that when people suddenly see a child about to fall into the well, they will inevitably feel surprised and sympathetic; this is not because they want to have a relationship with the child's parents, not because Gaining reputation among neighbors and friends is not because of disgusting the crying of this child, so that this kind of panic and sympathy arises. Mencius used this to explain that everyone has a heart of compassion.”

Ye Ma: "From this example, you can easily think that compassion and even all the moral sense that people have are innate. But when I was in college, a professor said this sentence: Human morality , may not come from nature, but cultivated by society, and this cultivation process is called social education."

Ye Ma: "People are collective animals. Since we were born, we have been learning how to live together with other people. Socialization refers to the process by which a person is trained to become a member of society - everyone learns social value norms from this process. And the role behavior that you should assume.”

Ye Ji: "But these social norms may not be completely correct. They may be wrong. For example, the old society required women to be virtuous and docile. And these norms are not suitable for everyone. When we abide by social norms, we are also violating our own nature. "

Ye Ma: "Let's not talk about what is right and what is wrong. Let me ask you a question. Do you know why this society needs value norms?"

Ye Ji: "...for stability?"

"That's right, society must pursue stability. Just look at wild animals. There are no value norms. The strong can harm the weak at will, and creatures have no property rights or life safety rights. If there are no norms in human society, we can We act arbitrarily, we can snatch other people’s things at will, even beat and kill people at will, and of course others can do the same to us.”

Ye Ji: "When the society is unstable, our lives and properties will also be threatened. So maintaining social stability is essentially to ensure the safety of individuals, right?"

Ye Ma: "Yes, so you see, throughout the ages, people of insight in society have proposed a set of moral standards, such as benevolence, righteousness, propriety and wisdom, and the heart of the four ends. Some of these moral standards have become social norms. Only when the big Only when some people can abide by these norms can the society operate stably and everyone can live and work in peace and contentment.”

Ye Ma: "No one knows what is right when they are born. We continue to receive so-called correct values ​​through family, school, mass media and other channels. After a long period of immersion, we will internalize them and make them We take these ideas for granted, we don’t doubt whether these ideas are reasonable, whether they are really correct, and even criticize those who do not follow the norms. This is the power of socialization.”

Ye Ji: "That is to say, according to the theory of 'social education', we are not born with morality, everything is cultivated."

Ye Ma: "You can say that."

"Including filial piety to parents?"

Ye Ma froze for a moment, then laughed: "Are you challenging this point of view? What if I say yes?"

"No, I'm just a little confused. Mom, do you think the concept of 'filial piety' is right?"

"Well... let's take it as right."

"Is the notion 'boys shouldn't play with dolls' correct?"

"I personally think it is wrong, but I understand what you want to ask. My answer is-the current mainstream values ​​still agree with this concept. That is to say, most people still think that boys should not play with dolls."

Ye Ji: "So what I don't understand is: there are standards for right and wrong in this world, but who sets these standards? For the same thing, some people think it is right, and some people think it is wrong. Who defines it?"

Ye Ma: "My point of view is that there is no absolute 'right' or 'wrong', it just depends on what the society needs."

Ye Ji: "In other words, things that are beneficial to society will be advocated, and things that are not beneficial to society will be suppressed?"

Ye Ma nodded and continued: "As for whether social norms violate human nature, I think it is. However, let me tell you a fact - this society pursues the greatest happiness of most people. If a certain behavior makes most people Happiness, this behavior is right and good, if it hurts most people, this behavior is wrong. If you are interested in this topic, you can read "Utilitarianism" also called "utilitarianism", it is A theory in ethics. It has a significant impact on law, politics, and economics. In fact, if you think about it carefully, you will understand that respecting the old and loving the young is really in line with biological instinct? Self-sacrifice is really innate to human beings Nature? Although I can’t be sure, but I can be sure that these behaviors are beneficial to the whole society. If everyone is selfish and only thinks about grabbing benefits from others every day, it is impossible for human beings to be on such a large scale If the land lives together in groups, it is even less likely to have cooperation, and there will be no development of trade and other activities."

Ye Ji: "If you say this, then there will be no absolutely right things in this world. If the social environment changes, the so-called 'right things' and 'wrong things' will also change."

"Yes, so you see, many concepts that were considered correct in the past have gradually become incorrect. The most typical one is the social role played by women. I believe that homosexuality is also undergoing this transformation, but it will It is a long process, but I believe that in the end, homosexuality will not only be accepted by society, but even enjoy the same rights as heterosexuals, including the right to marry."

Ye Ma: "Our generation's family concept is very single. In our eyes, there is only one family combination that is correct: a male father, a female mother, and several children. I think it may be because in In the previous social environment, this kind of family structure was the most conducive to social stability, so our society advocates such a combination. We have been brainwashed by such concepts since childhood, and when we grow up, we naturally think that such a combination is right. I have a friend They even called 'marrying and having children' a universal value."

Ye Ji: "I can understand this point. After all, homosexuality cannot have children. This is indeed a difficult issue in ancient times. But why is 'boys playing with dolls' also considered wrong?"

"I don't know the real reason, I can only guess that it may be derived from traditional aesthetics. The more masculine in appearance and behavior, the more reproductive capacity, and for women, the more feminine in appearance and manners. Stronger, so people tend to choose a strong male or a soft female when choosing a mate since ancient times. This tendency to choose a mate has gradually developed into aesthetics. People do not understand the reasons behind it, but they rigidly abide by this aesthetic criterion. And dolls are A very feminine thing, boys like dolls, which means he is more feminine and feminine, so people who have been brainwashed by traditional aesthetics will reject him.”