A goblin who doesn't want to stir up trouble is not a good goblin

Guo Jiji especially likes to play with his mobile phone when he is doing design. He checks WeChat Moments for a while, and Weibo for a while. In the morning, he sees Shen Shihuai posting news in Love Bank, so he includes checking Love Bank in his daily life, and goes to it from time to time. Brush your hair.

It was undeniable that he was vaguely looking forward to something.

Before three o'clock in the afternoon, Shen Shihuai uploaded another post, which showed Guo Jiji drinking bone soup with his head down and drinking bone soup with a porcelain spoon, his eyelids were half drooping, his forehead was covered by fine hair, and his mouth was opened a small slit. It seems that the tip of his small tongue can be seen in the crack.

Guo Haji looked puzzled, didn't Shen Shihuai eat at noon, how could he remember how he ate so clearly?

He sent a message to the other party in the chat box: Are you looking at me at noon?

Since Guo Jiji's nickname hadn't been changed, it appeared on Shen Shihuai's phone sitting in the office: Your father sent you a message.He was shocked by the thunder, clicked on the love bank, and replied: Your note, can you change it?

Guo Haw lay down on the table and tapped his fingers: The note is very domineering, it suits me very well, so I won’t change it.

Shen Shihuai said: I don't think it's suitable for the two of us.

Guo Jiji tilted his head and thought for a while, and said: Then you will be a good match if you change it to a son.

Shen Shihuai didn't answer, he was thinking, can he rush to the pretty and handsome group directly, snatch Guo Haji's phone, and forcefully change the note.

Guo Haw continued to ask the first question: When you were eating, were you really looking at me?

Shen Shihuai sent a loving eye: Not only did he look at you, but he also took a video.

He sent a ten-second short video, which was obviously a candid shot. In the video, Guo Jiji did not lift his head, but concentrated on drinking the soup spoon by spoon. s face.

Guo Haw didn't know what the other party was going to do for dinner, so he asked: Record it, and then what?

Shen Shihuai curled his lips into a smile in the office: I watched him sleep at night.Watch it when you are in a good mood or in a bad mood.

Guo Jiji was at a loss for words, and he quit the app like an ostrich without replying.

He stared at the cactus in front of the table and thought, last week Shen Shihuai told me not to like him and not to plan an office romance, now turning my face is faster than turning a book.

A man's heart, a needle under the sea.

As get off work approached, the pretty and handsome group was ready to move. Guo Jiji packed his backpack and prepared to be the first handsome guy to check in and leave as usual.

He sat at the table, bowed his head, and seized the last 5 minutes to play with his mobile phone.

The Pretty Boys group was noisy and commotion.Bai Ziluo has to go on a blind date after get off work tonight, and Tang Yuan is looking at the profile of the blind date girl with him.Liu Liang recently fell in love with a certain girl group, chasing stars every day, spending money to vote for them.

With 1 minute left, Guo Jiji put away his phone, ready to go.Glancing out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shen Shihuai coming out of the office on the left, entering the gate of the pretty boy group, and then going straight to his desk.

The voices of a dozen or so people gradually became quieter, and finally the entire office was silent, and everyone turned their heads to look at Guo Haji in a tacit understanding.

Shen Shihuai walked to Guo Jiji's desk, knocked on the desk, and said, "Let's go, I'll take you home." Just after finishing speaking, it was exactly five o'clock.

Guo Jiji raised his eyes and repeated: "Send me home?"

"Yes." Shen Shihuai stretched out his arms, and picked up Guo Jiji's backpack on his lap, "By the way."

The pretty boy group watched the two of them go out with tut tut tut.Liu Liang rubbed his hands excitedly in the office: "Good days are coming soon!"

Shen Shihuai lied to others, he and Guo Haji didn't go along the way at all.Guo Jiji's home is far away from the company, usually ten stops by subway, but Shen Shihuai's home is quite close to the company.

Guo Haw came out from the other party's house in the morning, and he was not a Lu Chi, so he naturally knew that Shen Shihuai was deceiving, but before he found out, Shen Shihuai confessed to him: "I want to send you home."

Since you want to chase people, you should always show the attitude of chasing people.

Guo Haw nodded and sat in the co-pilot, saying: "I saved four yuan in transportation expenses, and I can eat two more tea eggs tomorrow." He turned on his phone and wrote "Traffic 4" in the memo.

Seeing his shrewdness, Shen Shihuai laughed: "This is not the aura of a peerless handsome chicken. A peerless handsome chicken should have no scruples about spending money."

"You reminded me," Guo Haw turned on the camera, "I haven't posted a selfie for many days."

Shen Shihuai looked at his selfie and remembered one thing: "Your WeChat profile picture is yourself?"

"Yes." Guo Haji adjusted his hair for the camera.

"Change it." Shen Shihuai said in a strong tone, "You are so cute, you can't be seen by other men."

Guo Jiji trembled, he always boasted that he was cute before, but he had never heard others praise him for being cute like this, so he couldn't bear it for a while.

Shen Shihuai urged him: "Be good, change it quickly."

"What for?" Guo Haji opened the photo album and found that it was full of photos of himself, "How about this one?" He handed over the phone to Shen Shihuai to have a look.

Shen Shihuai became angry: "No, this one shows the collarbone."

"No, this one shows your ankle."

"No, this sleeve is too short."

Guo Jiji: "...Fuck you, there are no more photos. Either this one." He chose a photo taken in the hospital last winter, just after the IV was put on, wearing a scarf and a woolen hat, only showing his One pair of eyes, staring at the camera dull and tired.

Shen Shihuai still didn't think it would work: "After seeing this picture, people's desire for protection surges, and I will have four or five more rivals in love tomorrow."

Guo Haw retracted his phone and looked forward: "...I don't know what to say, I'm glad you're so sure of my charm...but I'm in a decadent style for this one..."

Guo Jiji bowed his head and sent the photo to Liu Liang: "After seeing this photo, will you have a desire to protect me?"

Liu Liang replied in seconds: "Roll, vomit, vomit."

Shen Shihuai randomly downloaded a white picture from the Internet, with a few words on the P, and sent it to Guo Haji: "Change this one."

Guo Haw opened the dialog box, clicked on the picture, and saw the words written in blood red on it: "Work hard and make progress every day."

Be as ugly as you want.

Guo Haw didn't want to change it: "If this is my avatar, customers will question my aesthetics."

"Let them question," Shen Shihuai put away his phone and drove, "We rely on strength, not appearance."

"No, no, no," Guo Jiji was unconvinced, "I rely on my looks."

Guo Jiji sent the selfie just now to Moments, with the words "I can lick this face for a lifetime", and within 3 minutes, he was bombarded by the beautiful and handsome group, and even Bai Ziluo, who went to the blind date scene, joined him Get excited: "Chirp, don't be late tomorrow, SM can't play."

Guo Jiji: "Carrot, I didn't block others."

Manager Shen is not blocked, and Manager Shen is your friend and mine at the same time, so he can see your comments!

Bai Ziluo immediately pressed delete.

There was a bit of traffic jam on the way back, Shen Shihuai turned on the radio, and listened to "Speaking Things" on the entertainment radio station with Guo Jiji. "Say Things" is a radio station dedicated to goblins in love. Goblins can call in, talk to the host about straight human cancer, love stupid things, talk about troubles and troubles encountered in love, and seek help from listeners. If human beings Make sure the object of love is a goblin, and you can also call for help.The voices of both the human and the fairy will be played through the voice-changing processing of the radio station.

It was a human being who called today.

Guo Jiji pricked up his ears and turned up the volume of the radio by a notch.The human voice was processed and made a little harsh, but it was recognizable as a man.He spoke very fast, without stuttering, but very eagerly, and said: "I don't know what kind of monster he is."

Guo Jiji: "..."

The host was also probably speechless, and asked, "I don't know what kind of monster he is, so how can you be sure that he is a monster?"

"I accidentally saw his fairy certificate, but he scratched the part of the monster, so I can't see it clearly."

The host asked again: "Then what are you asking or complaining about on our radio station?"

"I want to ask, is there any kind of goblin in the kind of goblins who are not sexually capable? We have been in love for a year, but we have never had sex. He doesn't even stick out his tongue when he kisses me! He never stays at my house. Last time he tried to stick out his tongue." Kiss him with tongue and he closes like the lid of a can of fruit!"

Host: "Ah...according to my current limited knowledge, it seems that there is no such kind of monster."

"What!" The human being who called yelled, "Could it be that he really can't do it?"

Host: "In this way, the most text message from the audience is that I hope you can take him to see an andrologist..."

Guo Haji listened to the host's reading, took out his phone and sent a message, Shen Shihuai asked him what he sent.Guo Jiji said: "Hurry up and divide it up. Why do you keep the men who can't do it? Do you want to celebrate Qingming?"

Shen Shihuai turned down the volume of the radio, and chatted with him: "Is there no fairies in your fairy world who are ascetic?"

"Really not," Guo Jiji went through the fairies he knew in his mind. "In the past, fairies relied on instinct to have sex. Therefore, in terms of desire, they are stronger than ordinary humans. Whether it is a plant fairy or an animal fairy , both."

As a chicken essence, Guo Haw has never had anything to do with others, but he understands it.If he meets someone he likes, he must face his physical needs frankly.

What's more, chicken essence, let alone other fairies, such as fox spirit, wolf dog spirit, lemon essence and rose essence, can't escape at all.

Shen Shihuai's Adam's apple rolled up and down twice: "So, I don't have to worry about it in the future, at least I won't be hungry."

Guo Jiji: "????"

Guo Haw reacted, and angrily turned up the volume of the radio: "Listen to more stories, and wash away the messy thoughts in your mind."

Shen Shihuai took the initiative to take him downstairs today. Guo Jiji unbuckled his seat belt and was about to get out of the car. Shen Shihuai reached out and picked up a paper bag from the bottom and handed it to him: "The clothes you left in my car last time. You don't have to return this set. "

Guo Haw stared at the bag and narrowed his eyes: "Didn't you say you didn't have my clothes this morning?"

Shen Shihuai changed the topic: "Wait for me at the door at 08:30 tomorrow morning, and I will pick you up to work."

"Hehe, don't think I'll forget it if you change the subject," Guo Jiji threw the bag into his arms, "You liar!"

The author has something to say:

Shen Shihuai, you liar, you will do anything to make Haw wear your clothes!