Before graduation, hold down the restless you

In the classic and elegant bathroom, the pale orange light made Yan He dizzy.

When his elbow touched the sink, it was wetted a lot. Yan He rinsed his mouth repeatedly, and the sound of running water echoed in his ears.The mouth was moist, but the throat was extremely dry as if it was on fire.

He stared at the tap water for three seconds, torn between "drinking and not drinking", and then someone closed it for him.

As if helping him make a difficult decision.Indeed, it is too pitiful for him to drink cold water here with a room full of delicacies.

Yan He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, then looked back at the expected person: "Teacher Gu."

Gu Ze leaned half against the wall, looked down at him for a while, and then asked in a considerate low voice, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Yan He thought for a while, shrugged, and smiled casually, "What about you?"

"I'm fine." He said calmly.

Yan He nodded.He's fine, of course he'll be fine, he's always calm, strong and lonely like a dragon hovering over his head silently watching him grow.

When necessary, remove all obstacles for him, and then disappear without saying a word, and continue to watch him grow silently.

"I'm going back." Yan He cleared his throat, broke the silence, and said dryly.

The thin lips of the man in front of him were tightly pressed into a line, and he just looked at him quietly for a while, and finally said nothing.

Yan He pushed open the door and walked out.

The bright space in front of him was just a moment of lightning. When his arm was pulled, Yan He felt his head was empty and he couldn't think about anything.

The heavy and solid door of the bathroom slammed shut again.

The familiar face in the field of vision suddenly approached, and he was forced to retreat into the corner. The tip of his nose still had that familiar and pleasant smell.The moment his lips touched, he was suffocated for a moment.

Mixed with the faint smell of alcohol and the faint smell of tobacco, it gently rolls on the lips, so gentle and seductive.

The place licked by his tongue seemed to be stained with sparks, burning away his last sliver of reason.All the strength in his body seemed to be taken away together.

Gu Ze was a little dazed in bewilderment, and suddenly realized what he was doing.

He took a few steps away, and it was difficult to face Yan He's clear and confused eyes like a small animal, which looked innocent and harmless.

He was too impulsive.

The self-discipline and rationality that has always been proud of seem to no longer exist.

During the long silence, he seemed to have slowed down, rolled his Adam's apple with difficulty, lowered his head, and said in a deep voice, "Sorry."

The man in front of him seemed to wake up from a dream. From his face to his ears to his neck, everything he could see was completely red.His mumbling voice was like a child who made a mistake in kindergarten and was caught by the teacher. When he was nervous, he even became awkward in speaking: "No, it's okay."

Before he could answer, Yan He pushed open the door in a panic without raising his head, and fled.

Gu Ze gently touched his lips, which seemed to still have that person's soft touch, his eyes became deeper and deeper.

It was he who broke his promise.

Allowing desire to overwhelm him, to squeeze its way into that man's life once again.

He always knew that the man didn't want to see him again.

It was not until the school celebration that day that he finally faced the truth he had to face.

Sometimes, however, the truth is not unbearable.The result of fantasizing for many times seemed to be of great importance at the moment when it really came. He was silent, and even accepted this fact very calmly.

However, his heart seemed to be tightly kneaded together, and he was so depressed that he couldn't breathe.

Joys and joys, this is nothing, he has seen a lot.He has seen the students after the breakup looking for life and death, the students after the breakup are as plain as water, and the students after the breakup are not in touch with each other.

The more you watch, the more relieved you will be.

"Leaving again" is not a big deal to him, he can bear it.One day, he will get used to the days without that person by his side.Even if you close your eyes, you won't see the joyful and chattering figures surrounding him.

From then on, he faded out of his life, watched quietly from the sidelines, and then silently helped him pave the way he wanted to go in the future.

Yan He can be willful, impulsive, and purely desperate.

But he can't.

He is his teacher, so he should bear the weight of these two words.

If the current life is what Yan He wants, he should also give him a peaceful and stable world.

Even without him there.

However, once again, he broke the rules that he made and bound himself.

Because I ate less crab roe, I took two pills after returning home, and the next day, my body was fine.It's just that the whole person is sick, and looks weak and delicate.

Taking advantage of the fact that his bastard father still had a little bit of sympathy for him, and before he turned into impatience and called him "Lin Daiyu", Yan He sloppily picked up his small bag, got on the subway and went back to his hometown. left school.

But no matter what he did, he could still recall the kiss he had with Gu Ze in the restaurant that day.When riding a bicycle, it will pop up suddenly, when eating, it will pop up suddenly, even when sleeping, tossing and turning in front of it is all what happened that day.

At such a physically and mentally exhausting moment, during the day, he was finally able to stop thinking about that matter, and just wanted to lie on the bed and rest for a while, but work and study could not be delayed, and he still had to work hard.

Finally, when it was time to rest at night, he was strangely unable to sleep again.

The dark circles under the eyes that had disappeared finally reappeared, and Yan He felt that his head was going bald.

During the internship, he even subconsciously ignored the strange look in his senior's eyes when he was staring at him.

After two days of this, the strange senior finally couldn't help asking him.

"Xiao Yan..." Ah Qing's hesitant expression was full of hesitation, and a little bit of the novelty and excitement of Columbus discovering the New World.

Yan He focused on the matter at hand without raising his head: "What's the matter? Senior?"

Ah Qing looked at him carefully for a while, then turned his head to look around, but there was no one around, then asked in a low voice: "Xiao Yan, are you that kind of person?"

The hand that was typing on the keyboard paused. Due to lack of sleep, Yan He's reflex arc became a bit long, and he didn't think about other aspects at all: "Ah? What kind of person?"

This question is very strange.

Ah Qing, the gossip senior, winked at him for a while, and finally realized that this silly intern really didn't understand what she was saying, so she lowered her voice helplessly: "That's the kind..."

"gay..."

For a moment, Yan He thought he heard it wrong.

After reacting, he had a black question mark on his face.

Regardless of how this senior suddenly realized it, Yan He never noticed that she was a rotten girl!The gayness of this rotten girl senior is also amazing.

This firm also doesn't have any handsome guys that make him salivate, so he can expose himself.

Rao Yan He, who had always disdained to conceal his sexual orientation, hesitated for a moment before nodding slowly before facing the senior with shining eyes.

Ah Qing immediately covered her mouth in exaggeration and shock like a manga girl: "Damn it! I finally saw something alive!"

Yan He: "..."

Ah Qing's eyes were shining brightly, as if he regarded him as a rare specimen in a museum: "Then how are you doing now?"

It felt like a mouse caught by a cat, Yan He avoided the eyes of the strange big sister: "Who? How about what?"

"It's you and your teacher..."

Yan He continued with a black question mark face.

A flash of light flashed through my mind after being in chaos for several days: Could this senior be a fan of his Weibo...

But although he has recorded his and Gu Ze's affairs on Weibo...but he has never posted a photo...

Ah Qing excitedly found a chair and sat down next to him, talking eloquently: "Don't you remember? I said I kept seeing you so familiar... At that time I was a hotel receptionist, and one night, it was you !!! You came to open the house with roses in your hands!!!”

... The word "open house" always sounds a bit weird, especially when it is associated with roses.

But what is even stranger is what this senior said.

Yan He subconsciously frowned.After making a little guess by following the clues, he suddenly became agitated, and even the voice trembling when he said it: "Senior, what do you mean?"

"... That day, my teacher came?" Yan He hesitated to say, this conjecture that he had dreamed of happening at the time.

Ah Qing raised her chin with a smile, and nodded casually, as if recalling her immature self: "Just after changing shifts that night, there was a man who asked me fiercely to give him the key card of a room, saying He was in a hurry, his student wanted to commit suicide or something haha, he even took the initiative to keep his ID card, and even called the department manager..."

"At that time, I just came out to work, what did I know? I thought he was a bad guy... and I thought he was going to find fault with this matter and sue me..."

"Because of this, I was deeply impressed. At that time, I thought that the job I found through the relationship would be gone again... I almost cried in a hurry, and it was late at night, so I was afraid..."

"...At that time, I thought you guys had a leg! But that man's expression was so scary that I didn't even dare to talk to him..."

Later, Yan He couldn't hear what Ah Qing said anymore. His mind was full of what he believed to be the truth and what actually happened and was concealed.

He suddenly stood up with a gloomy expression.

Only then did Ah Qing notice that something was wrong with him, and she was a little at a loss: "Sorry... Am I talking too much...?"

"But that day when I asked you if my teacher had been here, you clearly said no." Yan He felt that his head was about to explode, and there was a hint of anger in his tone that he couldn't hide.

"Ah...is that so? I don't remember..."

Can not remember?

She slapped her head violently: "It was your teacher who told me not to tell you..."

……

Yan He got up in a daze, not knowing what he was doing.

Until ignoring all the sounds behind him, he walked aimlessly on the road in a daze.

Holding another kind of well-intentioned thought, linking everything together, a terrible conjecture gradually spread in Yan He's chest.

He would rather believe that Gu Ze never cared about him and just played with his feelings in his hands, and he didn't want to prove the existence of another possibility.

If what had grieved him for so long was just a misunderstanding...

If it was Gu Ze who asked the senior not to say that he had been there...

Everything is different from what he thought...

The person he once hated so much was just a false figure in his mind.

For a long time, what troubled him was only a fantasy of his own creation.

He couldn't accept it.

He didn't know whether to hate himself who complained about himself, or Gu Ze who didn't say anything.

This confusion and bewilderment drove him crazy.

Yan He took a deep breath and dialed the number.

It just rang once, and it was connected immediately.

The person on the other end didn't speak, as if waiting for him to speak.

Yan He tried hard to calm his emotions, his tone trembling slightly: "Mr. Gu, we can't do this anymore, I won't be with you anymore."

He spoke eagerly, not knowing whether he wanted to prove something or take revenge on someone.It seems that only by repeating a decision that has been silently recited in his heart thousands of times in such a firm tone can make him feel a little better.

There was silence on the other side for a while, and then there was an inaudible, low voice.

"I know."

The knuckles of Yan He's fingers holding the phone were distinct, and countless memories flashed in front of him: "Don't do those unnecessary things anymore, don't help me, and don't spy on my life, it's useless."

"I know."

The man's honesty made Yan He's eyes ache, and his voice changed unconsciously: "Don't appear in front of me again, don't come and destroy my life again."

"……I know."

The vision also became a little blurred: "There is no way to go back to the past, and I will not forgive you, I already have a boyfriend."

"……Um."

Yan He opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something else.He didn't know why he suddenly talked more today, as if he wanted to spit out all the complaints he hadn't said before.

But the person at the other end didn't give him a chance, and after whispering that sentence that couldn't be softer, he replied.

It's no longer overwhelmed.

There was a busy tone from the phone.