Cupid winks

Seeing that it has long since disappeared, it is just right to see once a year. "

I said, "It's a little less."

The man asked me: "Will you go back to Taiwan?"

"You mean go back to S's place?"

The man nodded, and I nodded too: "I will go back, I was ready to go back before I came out."

I asked him: "Will you go back to Taiwan? You live alone in Sri Lanka? You don't look like a tourist."

The man said: "I don't have any friends. The only friend I want to go back to see passed away a while ago."

"Not going back?"

"I won't go back."

"how long have you been here?"

"Many years, too many to count."

Men are always avoiding numbers, and I found out, and I said, "Did you come to Galle in the first place?"

The man said, "Just like you, I couldn't afford to go to the Caribbean, so I came here."

I laughed, raised my glass, made a gesture of toasting, and said loudly: "We are too much alike, you have adoptive parents, I have had adoptive parents, there are many, you don't like to count, I I also don’t like to live by numbers, your hair is very black, and mine is also very black.”

The man nodded repeatedly, and responded repeatedly: "That's right, that's right."

I raised my eyebrows, but he was still sitting with his hands down, so I had to drink by myself, licking my tongue and pursing my mouth.I said, "I'm single."

The man's smile deepened, and he said, "I'm single too."

We looked at each other and I couldn't help but ask, "I'm getting old...will I become like you?"

When I get old, at his age, I will invite a strange young man to drink in a small town in an island country in Southeast Asia, listen to him tell his story, take the opportunity to tell my own story, and miss the one I loved Man, miss everything I ever had, everything I lost?

Will I still remember s?

"Did you mean single or my suit?"

Not amused by his playful attitude, I said, "Do you remember who you loved?"

"How do you remember him? Is it vague or very specific, or is it vague at first, and the more you think about it, the more specific he is... Is he really what you remember? Can a person completely separate love from desire? Really? Such a person? Is this reasonable?" I smiled, "S doesn't love me, I'm just making excuses for myself, making excuses for us not being together. It should be like this." I look at men, "You said memories It was all going on, I think about it now, and I think that's how it is."

If Little Treasure encounters a heavy rainstorm, s should also give him an umbrella. If Shuxue is sick and needs to accompany him, he should also stay up all night...

No, Shuxue lived in the hospital once, broke her leg, and stayed there for a long time. Every time S and I went to see him together, we sat for a while, talked to Shuxue for a while, and then left.

I covered half of my face and put my hands on the table.The man stopped talking and hummed softly.Songs I haven't heard.

I asked him, "What song is this?"

He said: "Liu Wenzheng's, many people asked me to sing this song before."

"'Bright Day'."

The man said: "Everything happened so fast, everything seems like yesterday."

I said, "Is this the lyrics?"

The man shakes his head.I was holding the cigarette, and the finger holding the cigarette was leaning against my mouth, and I said: "Yesterday, yesterday I was..."

My cigarette burned out, so I lit another one and took a puff before continuing.

I said, "Yesterday? Yesterday I just arrived in Galle, and I just arrived last night." I looked back at the clock, and it was [-]:[-], not more than one minute, not less than one minute. "It's about this time."

"Which hotel are you staying at?" the man asked.

I pointed out the window, leaned on the chair and said: "At this time yesterday, I didn't know where I was going to live, so I wandered around. When I walked to the museum, an aunt asked me at the entrance of the Maritime Museum, young man, do you want to find me?" She asked me where I came from.” I scratched my shoulder: “Because I carried a mountaineering bag, I looked like a tourist, and she spoke Mandarin to me directly, with a northern accent, so I followed she left."

The man said, "It's better to be on guard."

With a little caring meaning.I nodded agreeingly: "I know, but when I think about it, I have nothing to lose. First, I have no money, second, I still have no money, and third... I just have no money." "At most, the kidneys were cut off and sold."

I yawned, stretched, and said casually, "At most I died in Sri Lanka for no reason."

The man didn't respond, I glanced over from the corner of my eye, the concern in the man's eyes had faded long ago, his gaze became sharper, I shook my shoulders, put down my legs, leaned against the table, toasted and drank, what? Twitch your tongue and lick your lips.

The man asked me, "Why are you here?"

I said, "I told you, because..."

My fingers were stained with a few drops of water from the wine glass. I rubbed it on the table, lowered my head, and my voice became low. I could hardly hear myself. I cleared my throat before asking As I continued, the man interrupted me: "You know that there was an explosion here not long ago, and many people died. Many countries have issued travel warnings, warning people not to travel here."

I said, "I know, but this place is on my bucket list." I folded my arms and looked at the man, "You know this thing, things you want to do before you die, make a list. "

"You talk about death all day long at such a young age?" The man spoke gently, neither provocative nor teasing. He was a bit serious, but he didn't seem too persistent.He is the first person I have ever met who can speak of death with such ease.Maybe because he died once.Death is not a catastrophe for him, nor is it a mystery, he has groped in it, somehow, I thought of S's second brother's experiment between man and dog, between real people and real dogs because every day A good relationship has been established with a bowl of water, and a "good" relationship has been established between the man and the dead because of a dying child. They are equal, they are like two passengers sitting on the moon. Waiting for a train in Taitong.

I asked the man, "What is it like to die once?"

The man is still gentle and calm, he said: "A kind of experience, you don't know that you have died once, it will be a long time later, I arrived a long time later, at the night market in Kaohsiung, when I was eating a bowl of red bean ice ..." The man's Adam's apple rolled up and down, he stopped, and the corners of his eyes narrowed slightly.He fell into the memory, he dived into the memory, the memory seemed to be buried very deep, so he had to squint his eyes, otherwise his eyes would be flooded by the turbulent memory in an instant.

The man's usually steady voice trembled a little, and he said: "At that time, I suddenly realized that since that time, that afternoon when I woke up and my parents didn't wake up, I haven't been able to come back to life."

"A part of me stayed in that afternoon. A big part. Another small part followed Ah Hua, running wildly, running around, and rushing around. Gradually, he established his own rules, his own world, his world and My world is so different."

The man's voice became dry, so he remained silent, looked at me twice, and said, "You are still young, you can try others."

I said: "You are so old, have you never tried anyone else except Ah Hua?"

The man laughed, and I laughed too, half laughing at myself and half laughing at him.Self-deprecating still accounts for a larger proportion.To laugh at him is to laugh at myself.

I said, "Maybe it's because I'm young and I'm still far away from death, so I can talk about it every day. Being close to the country is timid, and the elderly are timid when they are close to it."

The man seemed to have relaxed and calmed down again, with a flat expression, and said: "Actually, many people are not afraid of death, but just feel that they are not prepared for it. It is useless for you to be afraid of this matter, it will always come. More More panic."

"Well, the person who tries to commit suicide is the most prepared, but at the last minute, many people give up."

The man said: "It takes at least 15 minutes to suffocate when you hang yourself. The death is still ugly. The tongue sticks out and all the urine and feces come out; it takes longer if the wrist is not cut deeply. Before death, the whole body is cold, so many people are in the bathtub. Lie in hot water and cut your wrists; take sleeping pills, and take dozens of pills. Do you know what the first thing is when the medicine takes effect? ​​People will vomit and spit out all the medicine; Charcoal, it will take effect in at least an hour. It’s okay if you can’t be rescued, but after being rescued, there will be many sequelae, such as paralysis, becoming dumb, and becoming an idiot. Where there are many people, innocent people will suffer.”

I nodded, looked at the table while smoking a cigarette, and said, "Euthanasia is either very rich, go to Switzerland for euthanasia, or go to a crime, commit a big crime, have a bad social impact, and fight for the death penalty for yourself. Waiting for a long time, maybe alive, people don’t want to die.”

The man said, "That's why all aging is so serious."

I smiled and wiped the table with my hands. My wine glass was next to the man's wine glass. The man never drank. The ice in the wine glass melted very small and became very round. The paper coaster under the glass was softened by water and looked crumpled. of.

I said, "You know, in India, it's very easy to get yourself a death certificate."

"Have you ever been to India?"

"No," I smiled, looked at the man, and blinked, "It's just that I bought accident insurance for myself before going out."

The man raised his eyebrows: "Would the beneficiary be s?"

I rolled my eyes: "Of course not, he