Cupid winks

He said: "If one day your brain can also be programmed, it should be possible."

I said: "Don't you think it's contradictory? People, those scientists, invented robots, intelligent people, such as ai, bi, but they are afraid that robots have feelings, but if you ask them, just ask any passerby Well, if you are given a chance to change, from now on, you will become ignorant of pain, ignorant of regret, no regrets, no guilt, no shame, you have everything Memories, but you will not be happy or sad because of these memories," I looked at the man, "Would you like to take this opportunity?"

The man said, "I don't want to."

I laughed: "You are so uncooperative."

I said, "I would. I would be an emotionless robot."

The man said: "It seems that S hurt you deeply."

I said, "He didn't, if only he had, if he would hurt me," I raised my eyebrows, "I mean physically... that would be fine." I propped my chin up again, and smoked , drank, and said: "You know, a friend of mine said that she said that S's hands are like a pianist."

I paused, and some words rolled up from my throat and slipped out of my mouth: "I let him pinch my neck with those hands."

I drank, swallowed, and smoked with my arms crossed.I stopped talking.

s said he didn't want to do that.He said, get up.I sat on the ground, lit a cigarette, and we looked at each other.I said, I want you to kiss me.He said, I will hurt you.I said, I don't care, and I moved over to him, hoping.He said, I care.I kissed him, licked him, licked his bottom, and he didn't respond at all.I took his hand and slapped myself, s slapped me away, really slapped me, I laughed, knelt back, I saw him pick up the belt on the ground, I waited, prepared in my heart , I will hurt, it will hurt, it will be different from all the sex I have experienced before, and I will not even enjoy it. s didn't do it for a long time, I started to get scared, he made me wait too long, my ambition was worn away bit by bit during the waiting.I even felt so cold naked, I shivered, and I quickly said, I'm ready! S sat on the ground, he took out the cigarette case, poured out two cigarettes, he lit the cigarette, and used that cigarette to light the other one.He handed me the cigarette he lit later.

This was my and s only attempt.Very failed.

That was probably the closest I got to s.My feet on his thighs, my hands on his arms, I smoke and the smoke hits his face, he smokes and the smoke flies past my mouth.Our noses were almost touching, and for a split second I thought we were going to kiss, but nothing happened.I think s looks sad and painful, and I regret it.I can't completely change myself for him, and I can't force him to change himself.Maybe we are all too weak.What makes us so weak?Obviously our fists are so hard, obviously I have always won fights, I am not afraid of bleeding, I am not afraid of sewing pillows, I am not afraid of broken bones, and my body is disabled, he is not afraid, he is not afraid of life.What a contradiction, is this reasonable?

That night, we lay on the ground and fell asleep, and the next day, I woke up first, and I broke a glass window, and I went to the doctor again.

I said to the man: "Second brother's laboratory fed raw beef to the real dog. The quality of the beef was quite good, and the dog couldn't finish it. They were afraid that the beef would be spoiled, so they dried it by themselves and made it into beef jerky. I also made several flavors. When I left, he told me that their company planned to market their beef jerky packaging. There are black pepper flavors, Thai red curry flavors, and Japanese-style teriyaki flavors. He sent I have three packs, one for each flavor."

I chuckled lightly with the man.I said: "When I left, S's mother also gave me something, a brooch, which she wore in the movie."

"That Japanese movie."

"Taiwan-Japan joint venture."

I thought about it and said: "She said, Xiao Yu, this brooch is for you. The brooch was the only thing she carried with her when she escaped from Japan. When she arrived in Taiwan, she originally wanted to sell the brooch. Beautiful brooch her dad gave her on her 16th birthday, a ruby ​​surrounded by diamonds and a diamond like a teardrop at the bottom. She goes to the pawn shop and two men are at the shop Here, she said that she wanted to be this brooch. A man held the brooch and looked at it. A man looked at her and asked her why she wanted to be it. She said, why are you asking so many questions? How much can you give me? The man continued to ask her, you What's your name? She looked at the man and said, Fumiko. The man said, oh, Fumiko, oh, Japanese, hey, Fumiko, has anyone told you that when you say your name, there is a kind of love Feel."

The man couldn't stop laughing.I laughed too, and I said, "Don't laugh, that's how S's father picked up girls, really."

I said: "Fumiko's father is a small leader of the Fujita group in Tokyo. Because of gang infighting, the whole family was killed, and she was the only one who escaped."

I said, "S's father said, Fumiko, let's go buy a pair of shoes. She didn't even have any shoes on when she escaped."

The man blinked and asked me, "Why did she give you the brooch?"

I said, "She said, hope it will bring me good luck."

"I hope you find the right person."

"Hopefully I'll meet the right person at the right time." I said, "S is a kid who can't wait to stuff himself in an adult's body."

The man said: "Children want to grow up quickly and become adults. Don't you think so when you were young?"

I said: "I don't want to grow up and become an adult. I just want my fists to be harder and my arms stronger to become an adult. An adult is just a person who can justifiably beat a child. I don't think there is anything good about it." .”

I said: "S's mother may hope that I can meet someone who treats me well."

The man let out a doubtful sound.I was actually a little puzzled: "I don't know why, but when I heard the story between her and S's father, I always felt that there was something missing between them."

"They have three children."

"I know. But children... Sometimes children are not necessarily the crystallization of love. It means that life has reached a stage where you have to leave something behind. You may not achieve anything by yourself, and you hope that you are the parent of a successful child. ...and isn’t the Chinese popular saying about passing on from generation to generation.” I pointed to myself, “I came into this world because of this kind of saying.”

"You sound a little world-weary."

"I'm not world-weary, and I won't drink with you tonight, tell so much about the past, and talk about my tragic love experience, and then commit suicide." I comforted the man, "Don't worry."

The man reminded me: "If you want to commit suicide, don't take rat poison."

"Everyone's body seems to absorb rat poison differently," he said.

I look at him.He smiled: "Practice told me."

He said: "My dad, after he went crazy, he could always hear the sound of bombers and machine guns, and he would hide under the table, and when he saw me, he would drag me to hide together. If I leave, he will hold me tight and say, child, poor, where are your parents? Don’t go out, let’s not go out, people will die outside, many people will die outside. If you go out, you will die.

"He also put rat poison in my meal. I didn't die. I fell asleep, and when I got up, I saw him and my mother lying on the ground. The house smelled so bad. I went to shake him, and shook my mother. It's strange, we didn't go outside, we were at home, people would still die, people would still die."

The man said: "Actually, before he was crazy, I remember that one day when we were walking home at night, someone passed by on a bicycle, and the light was turned on at night. When the light flashed, my dad yelled, "Get down! Lie down on the ground." .”

I scratched my cheek and said, "Is this trauma or something..."

The man nodded slightly, without changing the expression on his face, calm, calm, and even with a kind smile."Wars don't end, wars go on, go on and on, from the very first recorded war to the present," he said.

I asked, "Why do people go to war?"

The man said: "Crazy for the sake of justice."

I laughed: "That's the same as why people fall in love."

The man's smile spread from his brows and eyes: "If you put it that way, there is really no difference in essence."

I look outside, smoking a cigarette: "From the first recorded relationship to the present."

"That probably started with the Bible."

I know the story of Adam and Eve, the first father and the first mother of mankind, but... I turned my head, looked at the man, and asked the man: "Is Eve created by God to accompany Adam?"

The man said, "Did you know there is a temple of love nearby?"

I shook my head, and the man said, "A sinking ship was salvaged from the nearby waters, a Dutch merchant ship, and a lot of porcelain was found in it, including a set of porcelain plates with a story of Cupid."

"Where's Cupid? The European Cupid?"

"Aphrodite, the goddess of love in Greek mythology.

I was curious: "What is the Chinese god of love? Cowherd and Weaver Girl? Are they so miserable... only see each other once a year..."

The man smiled and said: "The wisdom of the ancients, if love is