Star Sea·Light Year

Sticking his finger on the chip where the sensor was installed, with the sound of "click" the door lock opened, Wang Ben opened the door.Out of respect for him, Zheng stayed in the opposite house.

He took a deep breath before making up his mind to go in.

This is a home mainly in dark blue tones. It is clean and tidy, and there are not many furniture. At first glance, it gives people a "rational" cold feeling, but it does not make people feel deserted.

Opening the door of the bedroom, he thought, if it was him, he might put the important things closest to him.

— such as the bedroom.

On one side of the bed was a doll, which seemed to be the same as those in Meng Tian's room, but it was a white rabbit. ...It gave him the feeling that he was very similar to that person, perhaps because there was a black spot under the corner of his eye.He couldn't help getting closer, and picked up the doll, only to notice that the black dot was painted later.

……It's him……

In other words, these dolls enshrine their shared memories, so they have been collecting them forever...

But when he looked at the doll, his mind was still blank.He sat on the bed and let out a deep breath.

...he still couldn't remember anything.Leaning back on the bed, he stared blankly at the ceiling.

Suddenly, his eyes widened.

It was... a Madonna.

The Son in the painting gazes at him, while the Madonna gazes at her own child. ...he remembered it was Madonnad'Orleans.

The memories that were once lost slowly came back to my mind like a trickle.

"...Ben, although time is short, mother is very happy... You are a child that makes mother feel proud, and you will definitely become an excellent heir in the future... But, it would be great if you could understand father a little bit from now on. It's just that I don't like to say what's in my heart, in fact... I love us more than anyone else, you have to remember this..."

The snow-white skin of the mother lying on the hospital bed is like a lily placed aside.She likes the white flowers with a faint fragrance, and he also thinks that his mother is like that kind of flower, elegant and beautiful.

He wanted to refute his mother's words.Because she was seriously ill like this, the man was still busy with his work. ...he didn't want to understand him.

The hand holding his own was pale and weak, and faint blue blood vessels could be seen through the fair skin.

"There is another thing, Ben, you have to remember that when you grow up and get married, you must marry a girl who is suitable to be your wife, and you must never be with someone who shouldn't be with you..."

He still remembered his mother's smile, but her eyes were red... and the hand that gently stroked his hair.

But at that time, he didn't fully understand the meaning of his mother's words.

Wang Ben once thought he was a man with bad luck.

The "girl" who felt the heartbeat for the first time was actually the same sex, and the mother who loved her the most left early, and the father who seldom appeared at home has never shown his face since then.

What has always accompanied him are the happy memories of being with his mother... So, he worked hard to meet his mother's expectations.

Day after day, he ate the bland dishes his mother had prepared for him, and practiced archery without interruption every day.My mother likes his archery posture very much, and will take pictures every time, and will happily take him to look through these photos together.Seeing her smile made him realize that those hard exercises were worthwhile.

... His little troubles started from an encounter.

At that time, he went to a funeral with his father, but his mother, who was always in poor health, did not go with him.

This man who lost his wife has rough facial features, and this man's father seems to be his father's mentor.He remembered... the sun seemed a little dazzling that day.

"Go and bring Tian here. You don't show your face at a time like this. It's too self-willed."

The man seemed to be very dissatisfied and whispered.

"...Let him go."

"Father, you dote on him too much."

The man with all white hair was silent for a while, looked in another direction, and said, "...can't you hear me?"

At that time, he also pricked up his ears curiously, as if there was light music coming from somewhere. ...But it always stops abruptly somewhere, and then repeats the previous melody.

again and again.

It's not the sound of a piano, but another, much older instrument.He heard it when he went to a concert with his mother.

—It's a harp.

The beautiful and sad voice tapped his heart gently like spring water, perhaps because he and his mother were also very close, so he thought that he could understand the sadness of that person at this time.

After the ceremony, he accidentally walked to the edge of the lake.The lake under the sun shines like stars. His mother likes the starry sky very much. At night, she always points to the stars and tells him their names. He once asked why she would do this hobbies.

She said that when you look up at the starry sky, you will know that the planet you are on is just an ordinary existence in the universe, and every planet in the universe has experienced time beyond human imagination. Understand that human life is really short and small.So... these short moments should not be wasted in meaningless sorrow.

Although he might not fully understand what she meant, he still kept the words in his heart.

There is another person by the water.But "she" didn't seem to realize that someone was coming.That was the first time he saw a person with this hair color. Under the sun, it seemed to glow with a strange hair color. The color was hard to describe. It was not pure red, nor golden, nor brown. But it is a very beautiful color.

He noticed that "she" buried her hands in the water, and her exposed wrists were as white as porcelain.

"what!"

"She" suddenly let out a low cry, retracted her hand, and stared at him with some dissatisfaction.

"Don't suddenly appear next to others like this, it's scary!"

...It's just that "she" didn't pay attention, and he didn't deliberately keep silent.

But seeing "her" red eye sockets and red fingertips, he didn't refute. ..."She" is the one who played the piano just now, right?

"...Did you know that the distance between the sun and the earth is eight light minutes, that is to say, it takes 8 minutes for the light to leave the sun and shine on you."

He didn't know why he said this.Avoiding "her" puzzled eyes, he continued: "That is to say, if the sun disappears in the next second, you can still receive its last warmth in the next 8 minutes. ... But its The last ray of light will take more than 240 minutes to disappear on the more distant Neptune. For those farther away planets, this time may be tens of thousands of years."

"...Are you saying that light is like the memory of the sun?... People are the same, even if they are gone, because the memory is still there, it seems that she is still there."

"Although this statement is very inaccurate."

He felt that "she" seemed to be getting closer, so he took a step back.

"So you came to comfort me."

He thought, today's sun is too dazzling, and his face is a little hot.

"Thank you."

He knew he shouldn't have such a thought at this time, but "she" smiled so beautifully that it made his heart beat non-stop.

"I'm going back, or my father will be nagging. . . Goodbye."

"……Um."

Probably because the wind was a little too fast, it blew away "her" originally bundled hair, and the pink ribbon was also blown away. "She" seemed to be looking at the direction the ribbon was drifting away with some regret, but she still left without looking back. up. ...He thought, maybe it is something very important to "her", so if he can find it, he will return it to "her" the next time we meet.

...by the way, say hello.

But...he later found out that "she" was actually a boy.This made him unacceptable for a while.

—and was seen by his mother.

"Huh? Does Ben have a favorite girl?"

Facing his mother's curious eyes, he couldn't tell that the ribbon was actually a boy's thing!

"To wear such a lovely ribbon, she must be a very cute girl, right?"

...Yeah, why do boys wear such things!Also, he should remember correctly, "she" seems to be wearing pale pink clothes too!

"...can't you tell mom?"

He couldn't help frowning when he saw his mother say it with regret.

—Of course he can't say it.

"But I'm blushing so badly, I'm shy." His mother always brushed his cheeks with cool fingers, "Mom will cheer for you. It would be nice if she was a cheerful girl, so The house will be lively, too."

He couldn't forget his mother's faint smile at that time, and he didn't have the courage to tell the truth.

Because he had heard his always gentle and elegant mother sharply say "it's wrong for two men to be together".

The man who was kicked out of the circle by all of them at that time seemed to be called "Li Mu" in his impression. ...Even so, that man still chose to face his true side.Although I don't know if it's right, but that man shouldn't care about other people's eyes, right? ...But such people are a minority after all, because the man he likes did not leave with him.

In the end, he just ruined his future.The man who was supposed to be the best of them was completely expelled from the field.No journals are willing to publish his papers, no institutions accept him, and even his license has been revoked for random reasons...

After that, the man seemed to disappear completely.

Therefore, he is very clear that in their world, things that shouldn't exist should never continue.

Later...he suddenly felt that his mother knew who the owner of the ribbon was.Because from that day on, she intentionally or unintentionally said that she hoped that he could live an ordinary life instead of embarking on a path destined to be full of thorns.She said that people are like stars, the fuel in the core is limited, the more intense the burning, the shorter the time will be, and it is better to be more ordinary.

It was also from that day on that he thought about throwing away that ribbon and completely forgetting the throbbing that shouldn't be there.

But no matter how many times he loses it, eventually he will find it uncontrollably.However, he no longer dared to let his mother know the existence of this thing, so he hid it in a place where no one would find it——inside the photo frame where his photo was placed.

...Why can't I give up...?

He thought that maybe it wasn't because of too deep feelings, but that "she" represented another part of his world outside of this world.

He loves his mother very much, but he can't deny that occasionally...he feels suffocated.Maybe it was because her father was too busy and her mother was very weak, so she devoted almost all of her heart and soul to him.

So, when she passed away, he was really sad. ...but I also felt relieved.

Even though he would feel guilty when he thought about it, he couldn't deny that he had such a thought.

If only after that, he didn't get into that school. ... In that case, they probably wouldn't have had the chance to "get to know each other".That initial heartbeat will not gradually deepen.

So...if time could go back, he thought, he'd stop himself from getting any closer to him.

He still remembered the surprise when he saw him following him, and also remembered his sweaty smile. ... long before that, he had his eyes on him.

She still wears the girly pink dress, but her hair is no longer tied up like before.Although it has grown a little longer, it is no longer as ambiguous as before, but it is still the same as before that people can't take their eyes off.

He had secretly learned about his family background, knew that his family had blood as old as his, and knew better that he was not resistant to sunlight.

His skin flushed easily from the sun.

But even so, he ran with him for a long time. ... This made him a little bit happy.

It was like knowing that he should refuse to join the student union and avoid contact with him, but he couldn't refuse. ...It shouldn't matter just to be friends, right?He convinced himself so.

Looking at his smiling face, he suddenly understood that even if the gender was the same, he still couldn't convince himself that he didn't like this person.Because liking this thing itself may have nothing to do with gender.From the moment he couldn't take his eyes off him, he couldn't suppress the emotion.

But... mother's words echoed in my ears from time to time.

If he really did this, his mother would be very disappointed.

He would often stare at the starry night in a daze, while unconsciously pressing the string of numbers that belonged to him on the dial with his fingers, but he would never dial them out.This mobile phone was replaced after the previous one was thrown away by him. In fact, although he was a little annoyed at that time, he also thought it was cute that he would play his temper like that.

He realized later that maybe... he wasn't just unrequited.

Because he noticed that he would watch his game every time, and he would show fascinated eyes, sometimes he couldn't help but wonder, what does he look like in his eyes?He wanted to see what he had photographed of him.

...Is it also like the ones he secretly recorded... all of which are only his figure?

Every time, the more he thought of his mother's words, the more he wanted to suppress this feeling, the more he couldn't suppress it.

They may be like BinaryStars, no matter the actual distance is close or far, there is always a gravitational force between them.Even if he doesn't want to admit it, he will eventually stay by the other party's side under the influence of this gravitational force uncontrollably.

So, of course he was very happy to see him showing his heart.But then he couldn't accept it.

Because I accepted it, I still can't be together. ...he's not ready yet.Choosing to be with him was against his mother's wishes, and he knew it very well.I also know that he will no longer be able to continue to be the heir of this family, and it has nothing to do with whether the family is willing to accept his choice, but he cannot use such selfish reasons to hurt the family's reputation.

...To be with him, he must turn his back on this family.

He is not without such courage.It's just...it still takes time to convince myself.

...His decision will make his mother very sad, and he will follow the path his mother said, and his career will probably suffer a setback.

——Can he accept himself like that?

Let go of all his hard work over the years and start another life... Can he do it?

Wang Ben thought, this is a question that has no answer.If you don't try it, you won't know.

The trajectory of the past shaped who he is now. ...that is something that cannot be completely given up.Without that, he wouldn't be him anymore.It is the same for Meng Tian.He will also face difficulties, even if his family does not object to his choice, they will have to leave this familiar place and live in another place.

He... didn't know what kind of predicament they would face, but he wanted to try.Even if he was crushed to pieces, he still wanted to give it a try... As long as the two of them are together, it seems that there is nothing to be afraid of anymore.

Yes, as long as two people can be together, nothing else matters anymore.

——At that time, he really thought so.

He even selfishly thought that as long as he could get happiness, his mother would be able to forgive him. ...Because she loves his son very much, she definitely doesn't want to see him sad, and doesn't want him to suffer.

The only difficulty, perhaps, is to convince his father.Since he was no longer the heir, his father might have to consider remarrying.

That's when he realized that he didn't know them at all.