[Comprehensive British and American] Bat Parenting Encyclopedia

Team building?

After cleaning up a few brats who used his precious girls as gambling tools, Bruce got his wish and lay down on the quiet beach again, topless, bathed in the bright Caribbean sun, and slept with his eyes closed.

Robin gathers people to gamble, and what is the proper way to say it? The problem is—there are those who gamble on football, election campaigns, and online games. This is the first time I have heard of betting on who the little baby will crawl to!

Deprived of the rare competitive entertainment that allows four people to live in harmony, the sons once again fell into unbearable boredom. The young boys, who are full of blood, couldn't be idle at first, not to mention these boys with more energy than ordinary people Robins?

Helena was taken away by Ah Fu, and they went to observe birds together.Bruce, who was very comfortable on the recliner, raised one eyelid and glanced at the bored and moldy Robins around him.

How peaceful!You don't understand!

Not everyone can enjoy real tranquility on a deserted beach!And we can only have such a time when we don't have to do anything once in a few years!

Isn't that the meaning of life, working hard to earn money in exchange for a few days on the beach each year?

Tim, a young president who was rumored to have been squeezed out of labor by his black-hearted adoptive father Bruce Wayne, was probably the only Robin who could get the middle-aged middle-class vacation style-he slept on the recliner again in the dark.

Before closing his eyes, he didn't forget to say "Jason, your two hundred pounds body blocks my sunlight."

Jason:? !

"If you're bored, go surfing." Tim muttered.

But, dick spread out, what's the point of surfing by yourself without a beautiful woman by your side?

Damian was so bored that he made a simple simulated military sand table on the beach... Dick and Jason shrugged and joined him.

Have nothing to do, fight and play.

The three of them directly used the small bottle of liquid milk that Helena had finished drinking as a game of war to simulate the different armies of the three countries...

Bruce shook his head. The young man didn't know how to enjoy himself. He reached for his drink and took a sip of the cool and refreshing summer.

Sunbathing on a private island, plus a glass of champagne that may be worth a month's salary for an ordinary person, the old father said that his wish was really simple.

Ah Fu also came back with Helena in his arms, and it was time for her to nurse.

The old butler looked at the three big ones who were busy "fighting", and then at the little one in his arms who had just finished drinking neinei and started babbling to himself to the empty bottle...

"I admit that I haven't relaxed like this in decades. Thank you, Master Bruce. It's just that the private island may indeed be a bit lonely for children."

"Dick mentioned to me a few days ago that Helena has been a little timid in the early education classes recently, and sometimes she would even lie on Dick's shoulders and refused to get off. Although we have all formed a consensus-we will not force her It will interfere with her growth and personal characteristics, and will not make various demands on her, but we still hope that she can master the ability to make herself happy and happy."

"Ha, it's not because the young mothers present are too enthusiastic about Dicky Bird, scaring the children!" Jason, who overheard the conversation, rolled his eyes.

"Nonsense." Dick knocked down Jason's small square building made of sand with an empty milk bottle, "Your capital is gone."

Some psychologists believe that babies' temperaments are innate and can be classified into three categories - excited, calm and cautious.

For example, with the same toy, some babies will giggle, some will look and touch quietly, and some will cry in fright.

On the whole, Helena is a calm and cautious little girl, often one of the last children in the early childhood class willing to touch a new toy.

For the early education class, Hal always complains that he doesn’t understand the model of people on earth now—ha, a little baby still has to pay for lessons to learn how to be a baby!

At this time, the little guy was tired of staying in Ah Fu's arms, and began to straighten his waist and struggle, "Hey! Hey!" He yelled, leaned down, stretched out his hands, and almost folded into a small shrimp.

After being put down next to his father's reclining chair, the little guy who was standing beside the reclining chair got his wish. He clapped his little hands and looked up at his father with a satisfied smile.

Bruce put down the champagne glass, got up from the recliner, stretched out two big hands to hug Helena's belly, supported her head, and blew on her belly.

Xiaotuanzi was so happy that the old father's wrist was covered with saliva, and the cute baby's giggles resounded on the beach.

Outdoor activities and the sun made the little guy's usually pink and white face tanned red, and the green eyes seemed to be brighter under the sunlight.

There is no one in Wayne's family who can take Helena to the park, shopping mall and other places where there are many other children every day.Living in the Wayne mansion in the outer suburbs, it is impossible for them to socialize and play with other neighbors in the community like most middle-class Americans.

The most suitable playmate of the same age wants to fly a plane to Star City.

Is it necessary to implement an appointment system for games at a young age?

The old butler often sarcastically said that all Bruce lacked was a wife to take care of these things...

The real widowed-style parenting old father, every time he thinks that his children's social life is only limited to the early education class and a few boring adults, he can't get rid of his guilt and distress.

Although he went out in the name of taking the child on vacation, he was taken to an uninhabited island in the end. Could the little guy really be too withdrawn?Is he too selfish?

The old father's poor baby syndrome is still not healed!

Xiaotuanzi, who was still sitting on her father's belly, didn't know why her father suddenly became quiet. She, who had no forehead to support her, began to pat Bruce's exposed abdominal muscles, scratching along the edges of the muscles, and grinding her nails... …

The old father had rough skin and thick flesh, so he didn't think much of it.

However, he never expected that Xiao Tuanzi suddenly bent down and lay on his chest... with the few small teeth he had, he gnawed on it...

Uh, that!

Hiss—Bruce gasped!It hurts!

It's not neinei, and it's not a pacifier!can not eat!

Why is it so painful! ?

The no-nonsense Dark Knight is just that close to screaming in front of the Robins!

Batman, who never uttered a word even after being stabbed with a broken arm, is going to cry and howl because he was bitten by a one-year-old baby?

This is too embarrassing for the bat.

But the old father, Bruce, did not master the skills that all breastfeeding mothers know-that is, if you are bitten by a child, don't try to pull it out directly, because the child will bite and bite more and more tightly, which will not only hurt more, but also cause harm to the child. bad teeth.The correct way is to hold down the baby's head, press against the chest, and wait for the baby to let go; or put your fingers into the baby's mouth to slowly save your neinei.

How could an old father who doesn't mix mother and baby forums understand this?Of course he pulled it out subconsciously...

oooooooo!

The baby thought his father started playing games with him again, giggled, and finally let go...

The dark knight on the deck chair covered his chest... Ah no, pectoral muscles! ! !It is suspected that the piranhas are not as strong as his daughter's teeth!

And as Batman, he was really bitten by a piranha!He is not talking nonsense!

Next time someone asks why Batman is so scarred...

That's what you bring with your kids!

Jason, who watched the whole process, struggled between laughing and empathizing, and squeezed out a distorted expression.

It must really hurt to make the old guy almost howl.He suddenly understood the description on the mother-baby forum about breastfeeding mothers being bitten, it really hurts!

"I recorded it," Damian said leisurely while holding up his phone, "and I won't delete it."

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Now that the decision has been made to change vacation spots in order to provide a richer social life for the baby, a new question arises - where?

This really shouldn't have been a problem, because Bruce alone owns at least three large and medium-sized islands in the Caribbean that are open to the public as high-end resorts.

How about the one closest to us on the east side?Medium in size, not too big or too small, with a rare lagoon, built several water holiday villas.

The sports include regular diving, sailing, yachting, motorboats, etc., which are relatively highly commercialized and suitable for home vacations. Helena should be able to find playmates.

"I remember that island is famous for its nudist beach - this was your idea when you were in your twenties, Master Bruce." Ah Fu reminded calmly, with a calm tone, as if the nude beach was an ordinary However, fixed assets.

For the years when Gotham babes were burning with passion——

Dick smirked at Bruce teasingly.

Jason showed a disgusted face.

Tim said that it is because of this that the profit margin of the island is higher than other islands - this is called the added value of the product.

Damian TT blankly, walked over a few steps to take baby Helena away, and covered her ears by the way.

Ah Fu, the children are still here... In order to maintain his serious and admirable elder temperament, the old father adjusted his breath so as not to make himself blush.

Ahem, isn't this to maintain Bruce Wayne's reputation as the world's top playboy?He also has difficulties, it is a last resort.

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Bruce can only cast his sights on choosing a vacation island far away. Apart from several other private islands belonging to a certain Arabian oil tycoon and Hollywood star, there is also an asset of the Wayne family in the west, which is currently owned by Bruce. The largest island is also the one with the most open business methods.

The island has a large five-star hotel, two small airports and a yacht bay. There are fewer customized high-end vacation projects, the most cost-effective, and the most number of people each year, as well as the most operators and staff.

Since at least a certain degree of consumption threshold is retained, this island has become one of the top three favorite vacation spots for European and American stars, middle and high-level managers of enterprises, and private equity fund managers.

During high season, the beach can be as lively as Hawaii.

This island seems to be the most ideal destination at present, until Bruce's private plane landed at the airport, the family was warmly received by the general manager of the island management company, and they were greeted by a sightseeing helicopter overlooking the island...

This is not a problem, and the general manager did not bother them. The tour guide service, helicopter and even Ah Fu called in advance to book, because they need to use the shortest possible time to familiarize themselves with the terrain of the entire island and the current buildings. and customer major groups.

The chubby general manager is full of anger. It is rare to be visited by the chairman of the group and the heir of the family. Because he is a prepared person!

Who would have thought that the time when the big boss came for vacation happened to be the time when he held the annual themed event! ! !

The general manager felt that he had already seen the future of being transferred back to the headquarters, promoted and raised, and then reached the pinnacle of life.

So he happily introduced the annual holiday theme held on the island to the Wayne family in a tone that was between a tour guide and an invitation for credit—the clown carnival!

Surprised? Unexpected?

The world's top professional clowns are hired with high salaries to gather here to bring you a full range of audio-visual experience, making the island a paradise for children to have fun and a dreamland for adults to regain their childlike innocence.

Batman: "..."

This topic is very problematic.

I understand the truth, but why must it be a clown?

"There is no child who doesn't like clowns, they can bring the most pure happiness to children!" The fat manager vowed.

"We also hosted the highest-level clown competition in the industry! Let the real critics—children become auxiliary referees!"

There are also clown-themed diets; clown-themed stage plays; clown-themed water and land rides and so on.

So the red yellow white black I see from the helicopter...?

The manager nodded, yes, it's all clown-themed decorations.

Bruce: "..."

Dick held his forehead: "Um..."

Jason sneered: "Huh..."

Tim deadpanned: "Interesting."

Damian gritted his teeth: "Hehe."

The fat manager hasn't realized that his flattery is crooked, but he understands that his main focus is of course "Baby Wayne" Helena who is more famous than the "Royal Baby" of the British royal family.

"Prepared", he took out a red clown's round nose from his pocket, put it on the tip of his own nose, and smiled at Helena, almost blinding his eyes.

Helena didn't laugh or make a sound, she just watched.She hadn't touched her hands for a long time and started stuffing her fingers into her mouth, which indicated that she was starting to feel uneasy.

Bruce took Xiaotuanzi to his shoulders and patted her on the back.Maybe she is just admitting to life, she should have no concept of clowns at such a young age.Did they often bring up the Joker-related cases in front of her?

"Let me keep this for you." Without further ado, Jason took away the fat manager's clown nose - turned around and threw the nose out of the helicopter and into the vast tropical forest.

"You know, we Gotham people don't like clowns."

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In the end, the only remaining viable island option didn't seem like a good fit - limited by local environmental laws, that remote island could only be developed in its original form.

Bruce’s original motivation for buying it was only for environmental protection. The jungle is dense and there are many wild animals. He can shoot wilderness survival.

The tourists on the island are all for the original ecology, most of them are adventure lovers, which is very unsuitable for one-year-old babies.

Bruce, what kind of infrastructure are you doing?The theme of the holiday island is very strange!Not PG-13!

I can't go to Hawaii, because I'm really going to be chased by the paparazzi.

"I remember that Mr. Stark also has an island in the Caribbean." Afu in the cab looked at the map.

In the heart of the old butler, Mr. Stark has always been a pleasing rich man who owns a well-regulated resort island, without a moth vacation theme, and no nude/nude beaches.

But they don't have an appointment.

Although there is nothing to make an appointment if you have money, just to be on the safe side, Bruce, who has a family and a family, still called Tony in advance before departure.

"Come on, come on," the old friend on the phone sounded in a good mood, "I happen to be here."

"This is the last two-person world between me and Pepper before the baby is born, so we should cherish it," Tony said, "You must understand what I mean, Bruce."

Hehe, Bruce doesn't understand.

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"Brucie!"

According to the guidance of the waiter, the Bat family who had just set foot on the beach of Tony Island was greeted with high decibel enthusiasm by the oncoming New York rich man wearing sunglasses and wearing red flower shirt and flower pants.

"Helena! We meet again! Do you miss your Uncle Tony? Come on, give uncle a kiss... ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

Xiaotuanzi was taken away from his father's arms by the strange uncle and held high. He was not frightened, but was so happy that he couldn't close his mouth from ear to ear.

"Oh, your saliva is about to fall into uncle's mouth, stop hugging."

She said no hug, but her body was still honest, and Helena was still sitting in Tony's arms, obviously she won't be let down in a short time.

The boys who came with Bruce frowned—because the Tonys weren't the only ones on the beach.

Tony followed Little Wayne's eyes as if someone owed him a hundred million, and he knew it in his heart.

He pointed to his teammates on the beach, "It's so boring to come out and play by yourself-this is Thor, that's Steve, we don't do secret identities, so this is Thor, and the almost hundred-year-old Captain America."

Both Thor and Captain America were basking in the sun on the deck chairs—wearing the same pattern of floral shirts and trousers as Tony, yellow and blue respectively.

"You know the Romanov agent over there, next to her is Clint Barton," Tony paused with his fingers pointing far away, and turned in one direction, pointing to a few crowded little brains exposed in the sea, "...and his brat."

Agent Patton had already run towards the sea, his roar was clearly audible, "I said don't fight!"

"Wanda and Vision have gone somewhere," Tony waved his hand, "Don't look for it—it's not suitable for children." When he said this, he glanced at Damian vaguely. , harvesting Damian's death sight.

Little Pepper was leaning on a deck chair under a parasol by the sea, reading a book. Her belly was already big, her long hair was brushed aside, and she looked good.

For a moment, Bruce couldn't digest the fact that he was going on vacation with a group of Avengers.

"Wait a minute, I remember you said this is a two-person world?"

"Avengers team building?" Tony shrugged.

Ha, Avengers and team building?The benefits are great.

"Okay Tony, I understand you," Bruce saw through the trick, "You are afraid that Pepper and the baby will be in danger. They are here to vacation with you in name, but they are actually the bodyguards of your wife and children, right?"