[Comprehensive British and American] Bat Parenting Encyclopedia

You are very good at playing!

Little did Jason know that his prophecy that the vacation would be a disaster was confirmed in just 10 minutes.

Bruce had thought that an hour of packing was definitely enough — neither the Dark Knight nor the Gotham Babes had the luxury of an entire hour just to "pack."

Needless to say, the Dark Knight, you only bring yourself to handle cases in foreign countries; and the construction of Gotham's baby playboy character also requires efficiency. Besides, when does the president need to pack things himself?

But as a qualified old father who has been in office for a full year, and a sad old father who has no wife, no (real) nanny, and has to do it himself, Bruce has long known that it is a big project for a baby to go out, which is comparable to war. time material reserves.

He and Oliver's "mummy bag", ah no, the super large capacity of "dad bag" has proved this point.

It’s just that the last time he himself took the children out was the time when the watchtower was quarantined. Since that accidental “episode”, let’s not say that Afu is not happy with him taking Helena out, as Batman or Bruce Wayne He didn't even dare to attract trouble because of his physique.

And for the bat family, a trip to space is not really a "far door" - the teleportation to the watchtower, there is one in the bat cave, is closer than going to the early education class.

At that time, Helena was only a six-month-old baby, she couldn't eat much solid food, and she couldn't crawl, which meant it was easy to clean up and take care of.

The old father hadn't realized that baby Helena's out-of-the-box equipment needs to be updated-such as more changes of clothes and a waterproof overalls.

In addition to the bottle, you should bring a sippy cup, which is specially used for drinking water.

Supplementary food tableware, snack boxes, bat dart teethers, small toys, knee pads to protect the knees, small shoes, socks, and hats...

Not to mention bulky consumables such as diapers, if it is a trip that lasts for several days, the diapers alone will occupy a box.

So when Bruce packed his light "luggage" (all Batman equipment) in just 5 minutes, he held Helena in a strap at the gate of the mansion, and waited for a long time with the three boys Dick, Jason and Tim Not seeing Ah Fu and Damian, I was almost worried about whether the old butler suddenly felt unwell.

After he and his three sons discussed several waves of the global situation and the big Gotham case, Ah Fu and Damian finally made big and small bags, which were long overdue.

—Wait, what are these?

——It’s just two picture books. Grayson said that he would tell stories to baby Helena, parent-child interaction and language enlightenment.

——What is this again?

——Soluble beans and rice cakes, Helena's snacks, Todd said that they should be used to exercise the fine movements of the fingers and promote mental development.

——What is this again?

——Ear thermometer, and antipyretics for babies.Learn from the last watchtower.

There are also soothing towels, and a black bat-shaped early education machine designed by Damian.

Don't look at Helena alone... This crowd before going out is simply bigger than the lineup of Hollywood female stars with a car of cosmetics and clothes!

The old father wanted to help his forehead, and wanted to say that "wartime material reserves" was just a metaphor, and he didn't really want to take the whole family away.

"What we are going to is a private island in the Caribbean Sea. This island has been developed by the Wayne family for decades, and the infrastructure is very complete."

There is a helipad, a racing track, diving, sailing, yachting, fitness, and close contact with marine animals and plants. Even the windows of the bedroom can be opened 180 degrees.Can't you have a baby?

Bruce wants to say that we are not going to colonize an alien planet.

"The things you mentioned are not for babies, Master Bruce." Afu replied seriously.

"We have drones. 24-hour deliveries. We're not in space, and we're not quarantined."

Jason had run out of patience with this sterile topic.This is simply a reproduction of the scenes of mothers from all walks of life on the mother-baby forum-what? My husband never knew how troublesome it is to take a baby out, and thinks that there is no need to bring anything...

And then another heartily agrees—yes, that's right!Then when they really lacked something, they beeped louder than each other!Why don't you bring it in advance!Obviously you are too troublesome to say no!

In this way, several floors were built while complaining about my husband.

This is how family conflicts arise!

Jason's head is getting bigger.

"We have a private jet, what are we afraid of?" He forced his way into the conversation, "Since when did you become such a mother-in-law, Bruce? Since we have the conditions to provide Helena with a comfortable environment, why bother?"

Bruce put on that "baby kid" look that made Jason's plan unusual.

"Carrying these baby things—unnecessary things—would cause us to be surrounded by redundant things, and we risked not being able to fight in time when necessary. You all know that in a battle, more than The weapons thrown by the opponent in less than a tenth of a second can even be the key to victory," Bruce narrowed his eyes at Jason, "These boxes are mixed with your equipment, and you can accurately dig out them in an emergency." your weapon?"

Jason's anger was instantly ignited, and he immediately turned back, "Of course, what do you think I am?!"

At the same time, a small corner of my heart felt as if I had returned to the time when I first became Robin, and I had a small quarrel with Bruce every day, and a big quarrel every three days.

The old guy always has all kinds of tricks to turn the calm and mature (?) him into a rebellious teenager in an instant.

The voices of the two adults were obviously raised. Helena, who was quietly playing with Bruce's collar, felt the imminent oppression, and the panic in her eyes became more and more, and she was about to cry.

Dick has been a gentle buffer.Dick quickly waved his hand, "It's just a small thing, I think it makes sense. Don't worry Bruce, we won't find a stick just because of a few diapers."

"You see, Tim's room has been so messy, and it didn't stop him from finding the design drawings he wrote down."

Tim who was inexplicably cue: "...???"

Jason - so angry!

Well, before he left the house, he and the old guy were about to start fighting each other.

The scene was both familiar and bloody, like a daytime Latin American family soap opera, the kind that aired hundreds of episodes.

Jason is a bit regretful now, vacationing with the old guy?Without a villain to fight, he and the old man simply couldn't live in peace under the same roof.

This is bound to be a disaster! ! !

******************************

Strictly speaking, this is the first time that the whole family has gone on vacation together neatly—the timing of the boys coming to him is different, plus the accident that happened to Jason and Damian afterwards...

Until the private plane took off under the driving of Alfred, Bruce still had a sense of unreality. It was hard to imagine that he would actually be like most middle-class Americans, dragging his family to the beach every year during the annual vacation to bask in the sun.

Very everyday, very warm, and at the same time... a headache - when he turned around and saw a few big boxes that belonged only to Baby Helena.

Of course, if Ah Fu knows this feeling, he will definitely say that the average middle class in the United States does not have a private jet...

"And you don't have a wife in a bikini, Master Bruce." Ah Fu often makes up the knife like this.

Helena had a rare first experience of a space base before flying for the first time.Flying high into the sky and passing through the clouds was also a completely new experience for her.

Considering that the tympanic membrane of a baby's ear is much thinner than that of an adult, the change in air pressure during takeoff and landing of the plane will inevitably put pressure on the baby's ear, so at the prompt of Afu, Bruce put Helena on A large set of colored noise-cancelling headphones (another piece of dedicated luggage).

The little guy was not happy at first, and stretched out his little hands to reach his head, trying to pull off the inexplicably added objects on his ears.The old father could only press down to attract her attention, telling her to look out the window, or look at other places inside the plane, to see her brothers or to look at the seats.

Everything around her was fresh, and Helena immediately forgot about the earmuffs, grabbed Bruce's collar with her small hands, turned her head around, but was so flexible that she almost bumped into Bruce's nose.

Tsk, it has nothing to do with the plane, Jason complained, she also had this expression when she went to the supermarket.

Ordinary middle-class people not only do not have private jets, but also do not have private islands—the destination of their vacation this time, a private island in the Bahamas.

The Bahamas is composed of more than 700 islands and more than 2400 coral reefs. It is located in the southeast of the United States, on the blue ocean between Florida and Cuba. It is the closest Caribbean island country to the United States. With its geographical and environmental advantages, the Bahamas attracts A large number of middle and upper class Americans come here for vacation.

A considerable number of islands are sold and rented out, only providing a quiet leisure environment for these high-end consumers.

The founders of the Virgin Company, Hollywood stars, world magic masters and other wealthy people all own private islands in the Bahamas, and some have more than one.

Several of the Wayne family's islands are among them, and Tobrus Wayne's reputation for being good at having fun, these islands are even the most dazzling.

Buying an island is also an investment behavior. For investors, buying a private island is not just for their own enjoyment and convenience.They often also hire professional teams to carry out conservation development within the scope of the law, and turn it into a luxury resort center.Small islands with special plane runways, private beaches and holiday villas are rented out as a whole, and the daily rent is as little as hundreds of thousands of dollars for vacations or wedding ceremonies, while large islands can attract high-end tourists.

Different target customer groups, different business methods.

A private island means that the number of visits can be limited, ideal for groups of tourists who need privacy.

At first, Bruce chose the smallest island he owns as the resort—planning to spend a vacation completely free of people.

The small island is an overall rental business model. The maximum number of people per day is ten people. It is quiet and beautiful. More than half of the area is covered by tropical vegetation, and it has a tropical bird sanctuary. It is a completely original ecological development model.

Not to mention Jason, who focuses on complaining about Bruce, even Dick feels that this island is completely unsuitable for their four full-blooded promising young people (and teenagers), only suitable for old people...

Such as Bruce and Alfred.

Bruce didn't know that he had been classified into the same age group as Alfred.Before his departure, the island management company had received the information that the boss was about to travel, and had repaired and furnished the only holiday villa on the island.

Moreover, Boss Wayne explained that he brought his own universal butler, so no staff should be kept—including cleaning and chefs.

So low-key and secretive, this is not in keeping with the usual Gotham baby style. As usual, Bruce Wayne's cruise ship and island party are the annual events, with female models, actresses and socialites. The paparazzi risked being photographed on the bottom of the sea by the big waves and came to take pictures.

If you want to check the traffic of the first and second tiers, you don't need to observe the list in the front row of the fashion show. It is enough to directly check whether you have received Wayne's invitation letter.

This is... the boss adopted a daughter and changed sex?

Or... Playboy's bed companion who changes faster than the cover is finally going to be fixed?

From managers to employees, they all gossiped quietly in their hearts.

The central character of the gossip—the playboy Bruce, who is not worthy of the name, is hugging his sleeping baby girl across his arms, and against the sea breeze, he walks lightly off the private plane that has just landed on the special plane runway.

With the sweet and soft little dumpling in his arms, Bruce didn't care about the completely ooced Gotham Diamond King and Five.Thanks to the noise-canceling headphones, the little guy fell asleep on the way, and only hummed a few times due to the loud noise when he landed. After big boobs(?), fell asleep again.

Sleeping in your arms is a very magical thing. It seems that you feel more at ease because you are surrounded by the breath and warmth of adults?The sound that usually woke her up no matter what, seemed to have no effect when she was hugging her, and she could fall asleep again even if she woke up.

Bruce looked down, watching the long eyelashes cast warm shadows on the baby's pink cheeks, and felt that the little guy's sleeping face could never be enough.

If possible, he thought it would be fine even if he needed to hold her to sleep all the time, but almost all parenting books say that holding her to sleep is not good-it prevents children from forming correct sleep habits, and it will even continue into adulthood; Not good.

Several boys were requisitioned as free labor, and the baby's big bags and small bags were moved off the plane. The fresh sea breeze blew the hair, and the vacation officially began.

*******************

Little Helena woke up after a full hour and a half daytime nap, hummed a few times, raised her two little hands above her head, wobbled and stretched a lot.

After eating a few bites of fingers, I felt bored. I blinked and found that the surrounding environment was completely new, with a new linen ceiling, a new transparent wall, and I could see the blue sky and sea outside, and In the middle are yellow sandy beaches and green trees.

Even the crib beneath her felt different.

What is this, what is this?

The little baby couldn't even take the pacifier that fell on his mouth, so he turned over, stretched his arms, and sat up.

Fortunately, through the mesh of the portable crib, she saw her father lying on the big bed with big characters.

Also after waking up in a daze, the old father Bruce himself noticed that the environment was different. A scene of being trapped somewhere.

So the little guy looked at his father and jumped up reflexively, with his upper body naked, raising his big fists to defend himself.

Of course little Helena didn't know how to be afraid, she thought it was interesting, and thought her father was playing a game with her.

da? yaya!

Consciousness and memory finally awakened behind the body, this little milk voice... Ah yes, he is on vacation.

Bruce rubbed the center of his brows, and smiled at his daughter in the crib, "I didn't expect that I fell asleep too."

After putting the baby in the crib, he was just going to sit and watch her for a while, and Bruce, who hadn't had a good rest for a long time, didn't remember when he lay down directly.

Helena, who received Papa's gaze, grabbed the edge of the crib, stood up with support, and opened her small mouth happily to him, revealing four pointed teeth.

It seemed that after the novelty passed, the little girl finally felt a little hungry.

This one is "a little hungry" and develops into "very hungry" in just a few seconds!

"Ah, dada, papa!"

Before Bruce smiled back, the little girl sat down so wronged that she began to cry.

With the speed of taking out bat darts, Bruce accurately touched a bottle of three-stage liquid milk from the "Daddy" bag on the table not far away, gently unscrewed it, put the pacifier on, and quickly handed the small bottle to the person who saw it. Baby Helena holds up both tiny hands on the bottle.

The little girl immediately calmed down, holding the bottle contentedly, her cheeks puffed up, she drank the milk seriously, and there were still tears in the corners of her eyes that she had just rushed out.

Well, Bruce has come to appreciate the convenience of this mountain of luggage - ensuring the continuity of the little baby's lifestyle and routine.

From the perspective of outsiders, it may be completely incomprehensible-the old father just sat by the bed, with a kind smile on his face, and watched the whole process of baby Helena's feeding.

Bruce is not bored at all!Simply too cute!

A few months ago, the little guy was trembling when holding the bottle and couldn't put the nipple into his mouth accurately. Now he is very proficient, and he can breathe after a few sips!Lift it up, turn it around, pat it, and then drink it.

From time to time, I glanced over from the side of the bottle, looked at baba, smiled, and a drop of milk flowed out from the mouth, Yayaya communicated a few words in baby language, and then returned her attention to the bottle.

******************************

After drinking the milk, she changed into a cool floral suspender dress. The straps couldn't hang on her fleshy shoulders, but they wouldn't fall off. The helpless old father decided to let her go.

Putting on the same style of floral sun hat, Bruce hugged little Nana with one hand, put on a pair of simple beach pants, stepped down the short stairs outside the villa, and searched for Afu's location nearby.

The bedrooms of the villas on the island are facing the sea on both sides, and you can walk directly to the beach through the floor-to-ceiling windows.

At this time, the rest of the people were at the beach. Dick seemed to have just swum, and the hems of his big swimming trunks were still dripping, and he was busy in front of the grill; Jason was nowhere to be seen, only an empty beach chair, and Dick said he Go surfing.

Tim wears dark glasses and sleeps on his back in a recliner.Ah Fu went to watch the birds.

As for Damian?Dick pointed to the surface of the sea—Damian was working on his lung capacity, and he said he would beat both of us's breath holding records.

The island is so quiet that there are only occasional birdsong.

Bruce sat down on the recliner beside Dick's Grill, too, and put the baby in the shade under the umbrella.

Helena had never seen sand before, so she held up her little hand and watched the fine sand leave between her fingers, then patted the pile of sand, ignoring anyone who called her, and had a great time playing with herself.

It didn't take long for Jason to come back, with a surfboard under one arm, and the beach shorts were still red.

Without the cover of the jacket and heavy uniform, Bruce realized more deeply—the thin boy who stole his tires back then is even stronger than Dick now, almost as tall as him.

He's also got a lot of scars that Bruce isn't familiar with.

When passing Tim's lounge chair, Jason bent down and patted his younger brother. Tim was woken up like this. He took off his sunglasses and rubbed his eyes. Bruce noticed the faint dark circles under the eyes that had once become part of the skin on Tim's face. , There is actually a day when it can really disappear.

Jason also noticed it, saying that Tim finally didn't look weak, at least five years younger!

Damian also poked his head out of the water, seeing the frustration in his green eyes under his black hair, the breath-holding challenge should have failed.

Dinner by the Beach is simply BBQ from Dick's Hands.

Of course, Helena couldn't eat this kind of high-salt food coated with barbecue sauce. She could only stare at it.

Seeing that the topic accompanied by the clanging of knives and forks was about to turn to the law and order of Gotham, Ah Fu, who had watched the birds return, had to stand up and intervene, "I think we need to make a rule-there are no jobs here."

Bruce & Robins: "..."

Outside of Gotham law and order, I suddenly don't know what to say!

Dick tried a little trick, "Uh... the weather is fine today?"

Supporting King Tim: "Yes, it's very good. It's really a sunny day suitable for vacation."

This self-made dialogue, like a beginner's English, gave everyone, including Ah Fu, a chill.

"Gentlemen, in addition to talking about the case and the defense of the earth, you can actually have more topics."

Ok……

silence……

After years of not really taking a vacation, they have lost the ability to properly relax.

"Yaya?" While everyone was not paying attention, Little Nana wobbled and stood up grabbing the armrest of Damian's recliner, and finally reached the "adult food" she had been thinking about all along. The steak covered the little girl with barbecue sauce.

Oh My God!

The adults exclaimed for a while, but little Nana didn't realize it. She held on to the armrest of the recliner with one hand, rubbed the barbecue sauce on her body with her free little hand, and even raised it to her eyes to grab it.

Before putting it in his mouth, the little hand was grabbed by Damian.

It was necessary to change clothes, wash hands, face and face, and after a while of fuss that involved everyone, there was no need to bother to find the topic of conversation... They all became babies.

Ah Fu smiled and shook his head, that's okay.

After just one night, the four boys discovered the inconvenience of vacationing with their elders—the private island is really convenient and quiet, but boring...very boring.

Dick felt that although he was working, he really wasn't old enough to lie on the beach as soon as he was on vacation.

Bruce had no sense of being rejected, and took a nap on the beach for a while after getting up in the morning. Except for Ah Fu, who was reading a book beside him, he hadn't seen the children for a long time, not even Helena.

He took off his sunglasses and went to find someone in his respective vacation cabin.

Finally, outside Tim's hut, through the floor-to-ceiling windows, I saw the children gathered together. It was just the scene in front of me...Leaving Bruce speechless...

On the thick carpet, the four boys were lying on all fours, with Helena sitting upright in the center.

The boys each had stacks of dollars in front of them.

After Damian's "1, 2, 3! Go!", Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian himself began calling Baby Helena by names, or nicknames, or just uttering endless tones and ways. sound of meaning.

"Helena, this way!"

"Here! Look, your brother Jason is here!"

And those who patted the carpet, and those who sang...

Bruce immediately understood what these four brats were doing, they were betting who the baby would crawl towards!

You are very good at playing!

Gathering people to gamble/gamble is not a good idea!

The author has something to say:

*The sound of the plane taking off is relatively loud. Prince George of the United Kingdom has worn the same type of noise-canceling headphones. Taobao has them, babybanz, and they cost more than 200 (so expensive...)

Some people also reported in the little X book that the baby doesn't like to wear it, and will talk or make trouble when wearing it.

* Amway has a bbc documentary with only three episodes, "The Whimsical World of Beibi", which is available on Tencent Video.It's very interesting, it provides a new perspective to understand the intellectual development and character formation of babies in the new era, and it can attract babies hhhhhh