[Comprehensive British and American] Bat Parenting Encyclopedia

Your father will be very disappointed in you.

Once you have a baby, you will bid farewell to the life of sleeping in, at least in the first few years before the baby learns to sleep in - novice parents have a deep painful experience of this.

However, the old father Bruce is lucky on the issue of sleeping in. Although the mansion cannot hire as many nannies as he wants in order to keep his secret identity, he has a fully functional Iron Man-designed nannie robot and Kryptonian artificial intelligence.

The most important thing is that he has Jason, the big parenting V, and Damian, the sleeping mascot, and the child gradually formed a more regular sleep pattern after three months.

And Damian has visibly grown a little taller in the past month... Presumably it's because he had to go to bed early to put his sister to sleep?

Just being able to sleep in late, old father Bruce is enough to make mothers and fathers all over the world envious to heart attack.

——Don’t use going to the streets at night to beat up bad guys as an excuse, which mothers who put their babies to sleep haven’t seen Gotham at 1:2:3:4 in the morning? ? ?

- New moms get less sleep than Batman.

A ray of sunlight shines through the curtains and shines on the face of Bruce who is lying under the quilt. The Dark Knight/Playboy/President Wayne/Old Father is stretching, and the good mood that is rarely full of sleep is ruined by the next conversation with Ah Fu Lost.

Ah Fu brought breakfast into the room as usual - this behavior has been ridiculed by Jason all the time, saying that even if he is a father, he will be served by Ah Fu like a baby...

But there is a corner of people's hearts that don't want to grow up, right?

Even if I become a father, I can occasionally be treated like a young master... It still feels good.

"Good morning, Master Bruce." Afu put down the tray, then turned around, and ruthlessly opened the curtains, allowing the dazzling sunlight to fill the room, "Looks like the law and order in Gotham was good last night."

Yes, allowing Bruce to come back and sleep until 11 o'clock after the night patrol not only means that there was no major case that required him to stay up late to sort out clues, but also implies that he did not encounter any criminals who could cause close harm to him last night— - There are injuries on the body, so of course I can't sleep so peacefully.

"Hmm." Bruce muttered while chewing toast, "Where's the baby?"

"Super nanny took her for a ride in the garden. You should be happy to hear she's had normal bowel movements this morning, we don't need to worry about the baby being constipated."

Being a parent is all about pissing and pooping in the first place... Bruce is used to it, eating breakfast without pausing at all to talk about baby poo.

I think back when the baby was so flatulent and couldn't sleep, the whole family was very relieved to hear that she could fart...

Wetting more than six diapers a day is also an important indicator of not eating enough—Jason’s pediatrician’s words.

Now the whole family is very touched by the baby's ability to maintain a beautiful frequency of pulling every day.

Ah Fu then paused, and turned to a topic that made Bruce feel unbeautiful in an instant.

"I think you can't get away with a big babyshower (baby shower), considering the social aspects of your daytime status."

Bruce almost choked on the coffee in his mouth, "Ahem... a baby shower? Do I have to do it?"

I don't know what he thought of, his expression twisted for a moment, "And the babyshowers are all for the mother before she gave birth, and the ones invited are all the mother's friends."

"And we don't need a baby shower for presents...we certainly don't need anything." Bruce struggled.

"The times are different, Mr. Bruce, it's a bit sexist when you say that, what do you want those same-sex couples who hold babyshowers for adopted or surrogate children to think?"

Bruce: "..."

The old butler was always ahead of him in embracing the zeitgeist.

"The news that you 'adopted' Batman's daughter was published in the newspapers and even made headlines," Afu continued, "According to the Brucey character design that has a party for such a big deal? Yes, I I'm afraid we'll have to throw this baby shower. You've had plenty of all-female parties, Master Bruce. On the contrary, everyone in Gotham knows you're throwing parties for ladies."

"Remember the three-day, two-night extravagant party you threw for the Russian ballet tour? I'm just giving you an example..."

Of course, many of these parties are for the purpose of obtaining intelligence, or making themselves the targets of the villains, so as to control the harm.

Compared with these strange reasons for the party, the baby shower is a once-in-a-lifetime excuse for "partying"... The baby girl doesn't even have a babyshower. According to Bruce Wayne's playful personality, it's really very ooc... …

——No way, even though Baby Bruce is getting old, in the impression of Gotham people, he is still an exquisite pig boy character full of rituals.

Bruce let out a long sigh, put his coffee cup on the tray, and put his hand between his brows.

——Being a playboy is tiring.

As soon as the news came out, I don't know how many ex-girlfriends, ambiguous girlfriends, gossip girlfriends or female fans who have been targeting him for many years will chase after him...

However, Bruce still thinks too naively. What he doesn't know is that in Gotham and even the entire upper-class circle of ladies waiting to marry and stars who want to marry into rich families, his "marriage" degree is actually because he adopted a young girl. Baby, rose to the first row.

With a baby who doesn't understand anything at the age of a few months, you can enjoy the fun of being a mother without having to work hard to give birth by yourself, and does Wayne already have a son?

Marrying into a wealthy family can instantly reach the realm of a winner in life with both children and children.

——This deal is really a bargain.

It doesn't matter if you are older, it just makes the age range of the list of ladies to marry wider...

People always tend to think that dating an older man is easier to directly enter the palace of marriage, just as in recent years, when the scandal about Bruce comes out, it is directly an engagement plot.Bruce has been pressing George Clooney on the top five diamond rankings for many years, and the old Clooney spit out his wronged old blood.

And don't the sisters think Bruce is particularly handsome when he holds the baby?

Therefore, the fierce competition surrounding the limited admission qualifications of this baby shower party is completely predictable...

But for Bruce himself, since he had a daughter, he suddenly...is not used to those "playboy" behaviors in order to maintain his personality.

In the past one or two months, whenever he attended a reception and wanted to play on the occasion, before he could start flirting with the beautiful woman with a deliberately low magnetic voice, a voice similar to Clark's earnest and heartbroken voice would sound in his ears at the right time, Can't get rid of it!

——These young women are also the daughters held in the palms of others!How can you spoil it at will?

—They should go to men who are more responsible than you.

——Think about if it was your own daughter...and met a man like you when she grew up...

This thought made Bruce feel as if he had suddenly fallen into the sewer pipe of the Fortress of Solitude... In the originally beautiful atmosphere, his whole body went cold for a moment.

The perfume wafting from behind the beautiful woman's ears also lost its intoxicating smell, but instead made his self-condemnation even deeper.He could only straighten the tie that was pulled crookedly by the beauty, retract the hand that was originally on the waist of the beauty, and quietly take a step back, pouring a big gulp of champagne, suppressing the eyes of "Batman" that he could hardly hold back.

In addition, Bruce even wanted to take off his suit to block the young girl in front of him.

—There is so little chest material, my boy, and your father will be very disappointed in you.

What happened to this sudden kindness? ? ? ! ! !

Wait a minute why does his conscience system use Clark's voice?

*************************************

In order to prevent the conscience system of Clark's voice from being activated again, the Wayne's baby shower was beyond all paparazzi's expectations, and it was limited to old family friends and close friends.

This is also the normal operation of celebrities. Private parties can be big or small.But in order to get close to Bruce Wayne, relying on various contacts to sneak in as a plusone of a certain guest, this can't be eliminated, there is no good way.

In this regard, Bruce originally wanted Ah Fu to stipulate in the invitation letter that plusone must be under 18 years old, preferably a baby, one is to prevent ambiguous objects from mixing in, and the other is to be able to find a playmate for his daughter.

But Ah Fu said that such a rule is too suspicious and abnormal, be careful that the child protection agency talks to you.

Gotham Daily Entertainment and TMZ (celebrity gossip website) both announced the first public party of Wayne's little daughter in important positions, and said that their paparazzi had already settled down around Wayne's house, and the drones Dozens of them have been arranged, even if a helicopter needs to be dispatched, it is no problem, so stay tuned for the exclusive news.

The baby, as Wayne's adopted daughter + Batman's own daughter, naturally attracted a high degree of attention in the United States, no less than the royal baby in the UK. The first frontal photo.

As for the child's privacy?The paparazzi said this is something edible?

At this time, the security of the Justice League is needed-the steel bone promised to disable the electronic products around the mansion, whether it is a mobile phone or a camera that can take pictures.

Drones?This is even better, there is no need to dispatch any superheroes, Ah Fu can shoot one by himself.

As for the impression of being used as a signal jammer, Steel Gu said that he didn't want to say more...

So the nearly four-month-old baby Helena, who was obsessed with eating hands, ushered in her own lively party with a dazed look on her face.

The author has something to say:

*Guess who will come to participate, there must be President Green Arrow and Nini, the trio of local tyrants hhhh

Seahorse King and his daughter-in-law will also wear casual clothes to join in the fun

Both the logic and the timeline have been eaten up by the garbage authors, why are you so excited to write_(:з」∠)_

*Er Shao’s comics also dated a girl (was picked up by a girl?)

I remember there was an empty sister in the old law school?

In the rebirth magazine, the barrel also had a (spring) dream of kissing Catwoman, and before the kiss in the dream, he told Catwoman which onion is Batman (Master: ???)——Rebirth Outside the Law Chapter 15

Master: My son's rebellion breaks my heart

In the rebirth magazine, I also kissed Sister Arte

Wait... so the taste of the barrel is biased towards the big breasted lady? ? ? ! ! ! emmm...