[Comprehensive British and American] Bat Parenting Encyclopedia

Do you use this thing that can enter the museum as a baby's cradle? !

Hawkeye Clint's words, it is not an exaggeration to say that it is thunder on the ground!

——It directly made the five adults around the baby (no, five Avengers who are used to seeing big waves!) widen their eyes!

Hawkeye himself, who blew up the mine, looked at his colleagues with sympathy and even some pity, those colleagues who can summon wind and rain, smash buildings and shoot cannons on the usual battlefield-these colleagues are staring at me with the eyes of watching a bomb/bomb in another dimension. The baby's ass, eyes frightened, and at the same time took a step back indiscriminately.

Perhaps for them, what is in the diaper is a bomb...

Hawkeye really wanted to roll his eyes, because only a standard eye roll could express his boundless disappointment at this time.

Ladies and gentlemen, you can tear aliens with your hands, isn't it just a child shitting, as for it?Clint said that he could even take the child to the table and wipe his butt neatly while eating breakfast-even if there is mayonnaise on the table, which is almost exactly the same texture as the poop he is wiping.

—and he can smear mayonnaise on toast after changing a baby’s diaper without changing his face.

Perhaps to escape?Clint continued to watch in pity that Tony Stark, who was always full of confidence, took out his mobile phone, swipe around redundantly and awkwardly, "Uh, Bruce's latest text message--Superman finished handling a case in Texas. Immediately after the fire to pick up the baby."

What can Clint do?

Clint could only continue to pity.

—and with contempt.

Hawkeye let out a long sigh, put down the arrow holster on his back, rolled up his sleeves, and strode towards the direction of the gathering of these pig-raising teammates--according to what Iron Man meant, it was possible that he was going to wait for Superman to come ah!

You can't soak the child's butt in shit and wait for Superman to replace it!

The little doll has already started to twitch and hum, obviously because she gradually felt uncomfortable in her buttocks. It won't take long for her to cry so much that she will knock off the roof of the Avengers Building. Of course, she can't wait for Superman to come...

This is too much to lose the Avengers in front of the Justice League.

I heard that Superman also has a super sense of smell, right?

emmm... Thinking of this, Hawkeye actually felt a little sympathy for the most powerful man on earth? ? ?

After stepping back involuntarily just now, Steve has already reacted immediately—in the face of the current predicament, as Captain America, he did not rise to the challenge, and Steve deeply reflected on his evasive behavior.

Of course Hawkeye can't change these diapers. Since when did he, Steve Rogers, get dirty and afraid of getting tired? !That's not what his parents taught him!

Maintaining his usual steady and calm expression, Captain America raised his hand to indicate that Hawkeye doesn't need to come over, and he can change the diapers. This is just a small scene.

This moved Tony, Natasha, Dr. Banner and Wanda very much. Captain America really has a fearless spirit of sacrifice!

Steve took it easy, took a step forward, and after careful observation, stretched out his hand, and unwrapped the Velcro of the diapers on both sides of the baby's waist in turn, and then slowly pulled down the front of the diaper on the belly, with a serious expression on his face.

——Is this opening Pandora's box?

No, there's no such slimy, stinky stuff in Pandora's Box.Everyone present except Hawkeye would rather open Pandora's Box!

A more intense smell surrounded several people in an instant——Wanda Tony and others couldn't help but take a step back...

This smell is really too indescribable, it is not pure smell, but sour... The penetrating power is very strong, if he wants to describe it, it is like directly penetrating the brain through the nasal cavity, and then sticking to the whole space... Shi Tiff found that he couldn't find the right words, only "full-bodied" could describe it slightly.

Captain America was distracted and thought for a second, whether his sense of smell is also four times that of ordinary people like other bodily functions?

——That would be too miserable.

Wanda's voice came from behind the captain, trembling, "Why does it smell like this?"

She feels that she doesn't want to eat yogurt so much recently...

——Full sugar will not work either!

Both Tony and Dr. Banner agree that this makes sense—the only source of food for a baby this month is dairy, and the process of digestion and fermentation is actually not much different.

Therefore, the child's excrement will of course smell like yogurt.

Correction - put off the smell of bad yogurt.

Hawkeye crossed his arms, and watched the superheroes suspicious of life by a baby's loose stools. Naturally, he despised this kind of hypocrisy-after adding complementary food, the poop will smell so bad that you collapse , you can be satisfied now.

But baby poop isn't just about the smell, as Steve knows as soon as he pulls off his diaper.This yellow stool is very thin, it is a large sticky puddle, and it is not shaped.

——So the baby's ass was glued! ! !

— Where to start, my God! ! !

At this time, Hawkeye just remembered that the baby's poop is also an important indicator of the baby's health.When he was raising a baby, not only could he not run away holding his nose like these pig teammates when he changed his poop diapers, but he even had to carefully observe the shape and color of the child’s stool every time to see if it was normal—he also had to fold the diapers to give them The stool is stretched and stretched to see if there is a lot of mucus.

Parents and mothers must know how to look at feces, and the baby's physical examination in the hospital has a routine of defecation-usually you need to hold the diapers in a fresh-keeping bag to keep them fresh and bring them to the hospital.

Of course, this reminder made the teammates look even more disheveled—no, shit-colored.

"Amazing..." Dr. Banner is very proud of his title of doctor, adjusted his glasses, and carefully observed and studied the pile of stool with his probe, "Mmm... khaki, flowing paste, a little greenish , I think the green color is undigested iron?"

After getting Hawkeye's nod of approval, the doctor is quite satisfied with his ability to master all kinds of knowledge.

As for Tony, who faced this tragic scene, he couldn't help admiring his research and development ability even more when he thought of what his IronNanny faced every day.He also really wanted to ask the captain what he was thinking at this time.

——Do you still think this is a little angel, Steve?

Before Tony could ask, the baby's next actions made everyone doubt life even more...

Maybe it’s the feeling of relief when it’s finally pulled out, or maybe it’s the diapers that have bound her soul. Baby Helena became very active after the diapers were taken off. rub --

She was completely oblivious to the "yellow yogurt" she made.

Steve just watched the baby dance with his white and tender little chubby legs, and then his little heel rubbed against the diaper, as if dipped in sauce... dipped into his own stool, and then... continued to rub in all directions irregularly.

I rubbed it on my thighs, hands, clothes...

OMG……

Hawkeye raised his hand, but in the end he strongly resisted the urge to cover his face, "Captain...you...you should actually grab her feet."

This sentence was extremely bleak by him.

Tony: "Would you like to have a dozen more, Steve?"

Finally, under the guidance of his teammate Hawkeye, the busy Captain America finally completed a very challenging job-wiping the child's buttocks and changing diapers.

For a while, I couldn't find wet wipes. The captain used the souvenir T-shirts with the Avengers logo printed everywhere in the building to wipe them with water--I used four or five pieces at once.

The child's original small clothes were also stained with a lot of poop, and he could no longer wear them. The team leader could only put a souvenir T on the baby—more precisely, wrap it in, a child-sized T It's as big as a swaddle for a baby.

Wanda volunteered to dispose of the baby's changed diapers and clothes—she had planned well, planning to use energy manipulation, teleportation, and move these horrible things into garbage bags and seal them up immediately.

That is, suspended diapers and poop wipes, across the entire room, and threw them into the trash can by the door.

And Wanda overlooked the most important point - the baby who only feeds the milk, the stool is not formed, in fact... it is some kind of fluid.

So, in the sight of horror, everyone watched the feces dripping from the diaper, rolling and flying all the way in Wanda's red "Force" ball, and splashing 360 degrees under the action of centrifugal force.

Wherever it goes, it leaves traces.On the sofa, on the floor, on the wall, on the arrow case that Hawkeye himself put by the door... all left yellow spots.

Very uniform and delicate, it can be seen that the trajectory and rotation speed of Wanda's red energy ball are constant...

The smell of yogurt diffused throughout the lobby on the top floor of the Fulian Building.

Clint couldn't hold back any longer, and Clint finally covered his face.

——He remembered all the teammates who were present today, and lowered their reliability by one level.

In the end, because the diaper changing process took too long, the baby peed all over the captain's chest, and Hawkeye Clint didn't feel any fluctuations in his heart, only feeling very bleak.

The captain wiped his forehead, tearing wood would not make him sweat so much.

He gets adoring, encouraging looks from the rest of the Avengers—not including Hawkeye, who gave him a weary look.

When the red cloak fell from the sky and walked into Fulian Building, what greeted him was the sour odor molecules hidden in the air.

——No wonder the windows on the top floor are wide open, it seems that they are not specially designed to welcome him.

He also saw a suspicious yellow trail extending from the table where the baby was on to the trash can by the door.

Superman: "………………"

Clark found he didn't really want to know how the yellow poop got up to the ceiling.

I don't really want to ask Mr. Stark if he should just redecorate it.

He coughed lightly in embarrassment, "Thank you... um... you have worked hard."

Steve first stepped forward and shook hands with Superman in a friendly manner. The smile on the corner of his mouth could not be suppressed. He has always admired the Kryptonian orphan very much. Expressed praise and respect for the Man of Steel.

Of course, Superman did not lack praise back.

#Business mutual blowing...? #

Superman also saw the wet area on the captain's chest at this time, combined with the Avengers T-shirt wrapped around the baby, and the tragic scene in the rest hall, it is not difficult to guess how it came about...

Clark took out the small clothes and diapers that he had prepared in advance from his cloak - taking the baby out, changing clothes and spare diapers are all necessary, which is the basic homework for parents.You never know when your child will pee/pull/vomit.

Of course, this group of poor Avengers could no longer be tortured. Clark stepped forward, untied the Avengers T-shirt lightly, and put on clothes for little Helena.

At this time, a strange round and concave cradle placed under the baby attracted Clark's attention. The shape and color looked familiar!

Wait a moment, Clark caught a glimpse of the familiar red and blue color scheme, you... is the thing under this kid... Captain America's shield? !

Do you use this thing that can enter the museum as a baby's cradle? !

Hawkeye wanted to say he'd seen it all along, he just didn't bother to ask.

To be honest, since watching the Scarlet Witch spread shit all over the sky, Hawkeye will no longer be surprised by what this group of people can do now.

The author has something to say:

*Before, in order to write this short article, I peeped at other people’s cute babies on the little X book every day... Today is different, I saw a lot of baby poop on the little X book today! ! !Manual smile.jpg

*Recommend an American TV series "Boys and Dads", which is about watching foolish straight boys raising babies. It is a relatively niche drama, super delicious, and a source of joy. It is basically the source of inspiration for me to write this article, but it was cut off in the end, hey...

*Following dramas in the past few years has not been going well, and Lady Remade was also cut, and it was cut for one season, I...