[The Big Bang Theory] Miss Zhou's Long Science Road

"Don't think that if you order a six-dollar bread sandwich, you can touch me! Your fucking boobs are fake!! Next time you dare to appear in front of my mother, I will take a catty of scarlet fever! Squeeze your throat and pour it in, then poke it out of your rectum, and then pour it in your throat again!!" In the cheesecake factory, a small waitress viciously poured a plate of Big Macs The hamburger was thrown upside down in front of a burly man, "Get the fuck out of me!" A roar surged out of her petite body, and it was a shock.A little girl was holding a hamburger in one hand and scrolling through Twitter. Following the loud noise, her hand shook uncontrollably. A piece of grilled hamburger meat shook twice, and then "poof!" "The ground fell to the ground.

During these five seconds, the sound of the Cheesecake Factory seemed to be paused, and only the sound of "roll, roll, roll, roll, roll" seemed to be looping endlessly.The burly man finally came back to his senses, sucking on the abdominal muscles on his stomach, tiptoeing around the little waitress with his hands on his hips, his eyebrows crossed and his beard staring coldly at him, and he rushed out of the shop with his head in his arms, as if there was a Tibetan mastiff behind him chasing.

"Hey, Petunia~ ​​you're on day shift today~" Watching the unwelcome customers leave, the returned waitress bounced towards us with a bright smile, a sweet voice, an amiable attitude and a cute expression .

"That's right. Are you free tomorrow night? I'll introduce you to a friend." Penny said as if nothing happened, while adjusting the wine glasses at the bar, she raised her head and smiled at her, beside me who was stupefied.

"Sure~" The waitress put away the plate and went to order with her proud bust.

"Petunia, this...is this howard you want to introduce?" Half a minute later, I finally found my voice.

"Well. Her name is Bernadette. What do you think??"

"Good! Perfect match!!"

I slapped the table and raised my hand to praise Penny for her wit.

Even if it is thousands of reluctance, what should come will always come.For Petunia, introducing a girlfriend to Howard is more painful than letting her come to her aunt for a month, but if he doesn't introduce him, Howard will definitely make her more painful.Subjectively speaking, Petunia didn't want to harm her friends, and she really couldn't think of any friends she didn't want to contact from now on.But on the other hand, when people get along with each other for a long time, there will always be some feelings. Penny also hopes that Howard can find a girl who can be with him, instead of paying to rent a female companion every time a large event is held.Therefore, it is not appropriate to introduce those "bitch friends" to Hua Tsai.During this period, Howard sat at the door of Petunia's house every day, starting from Exodus, talking about the invasion of the Babylonian Empire, the destruction of Jerusalem, the massacre of the Nazis, combined with his father abandoning himself and his mother and flying away. Being bullied and discriminated against, she was very lonely in her heart, and couldn't find anyone who understood her (Where did Raj come to say this).Such a story of personal ups and downs combined with the rise and fall of the nation finally ended with the Jewish ballad "Dona, dona".After three days of narration, I was moved to the point where I was dripping with blood and weeping, not to mention Penny, who was only a door away, shouted "Stop it! Stop it! I It’s not enough to introduce you!!” In this way, “Penita” was captured, and Princess Bernadette was shown in the vision of the dragon Howard.

Penny once told me her parameters for choosing potential girlfriends for Howard.In addition to the guiding standards of high-end goods such as height and appearance, the most important thing for Howard, a special individual, is the value of force.The degree of force value is also very important - if it is too watery, it is easy to run home in tears as soon as Howard molested a few words. In fact, this level of flamboyance is just a warm-up for Andy, and the most important stalk is still hidden in the Didn't come out from behind.So of course it won't work like this; it won't work if it's too strong!Don't you see that when Howard loved to run to the bar in the early years, it was commonplace to hit his head, back, stomach and shoulders.Once, a girl of normal size swung Howard around like a sandbag and threw him out.I found out later, oh, that strongman turned out to be a female military officer, and she seemed to have been to the special forces.Therefore, Howard is still alive and kicking like a grasshopper to this day, which can only be summed up as "the scourge of the millennium".Although I have seen the interaction between Howard and Bernadette on TV, I have been worried that Bernadette, who has not yet come out of school, will be too "fresh" compared to Howard.After seeing her "lion's roar", I dare to say that they will be a happy couple.

You ask me why?

Oh, you didn't know Howard had Oedipal tendencies.

Because Penny, Leonard, Bernadette, and Howard set a time to go on a "four-person date" together, and it was the first time to introduce Huo and Bo to each other, so today's dinner is only Sheldon, Raj and me .Due to the reduction in the number of people, Raj finally did not need to sit on the floor, and completed his historic leap from the ground to the sofa, which can be regarded as stepping out of the third world.It was such a memorable moment, but he was still not happy.To be precise, he was in pain.

"Just because I have a small bladder, then Leonard and Howard will have a beautiful girlfriend! Soon, they will have very cute children, small, squishy, ​​white, the boy named Steven, the girl called Emma, ​​just like your country, it looks beautiful, but it is full of cruelty!" Raj belched loudly while talking, the lingering smell of gin was just like Raj's melancholy same heart.Because of the alcohol, his already funny accent is now even more fascinating.And what he said feels ambiguous, it sounds like Leonard and Howard will have (have) a child soon, "But I am still their diamond from the East, handsome and rich, but alone Uncle Wang Laowu Raj. The only company I have is a puppy named Rebecca and the always delicious tapioca pudding.”

Raj sighed after thinking about it, took out the hip flask hidden in his trouser pocket, and took another sip.Viewed from the side, each layer of chin is a different layer of melancholy.

"No, Sheldon will be with you." I casually comforted, I put down the dinner plate and picked up the phone. On the lock screen was the text message just sent by Penny, just one word, "Hanging".It should be fine!Howard and Bernadette are official couples! !How could the official match hang up.Oh, by the way, the two of them seemed unable to chat at first in the TV series.Howard's jokes are difficult for ordinary people to reach, and the girls are indeed not very interested in machinery and computers, but those are Howard's special skills.

"If I will accompany Raj, then Vivienne, you must also accompany Raj." Sheldon thought about it seriously, then suddenly turned his head and said.

"??"What? ?Sheldon, are you cursing me for not getting married? . . . . . .

"According to Article [-] of the agreement we signed, you have the obligation to assist and accompany me. According to the principle of major premise and minor premise in deductive argument, the major and minor premise is that I accompany Raj and you accompany me. The conclusion Even if you are with Raj. Although this method is not logically perfect, it can be deduced on this issue." Shelton gestured with the left hand for the major premise, and his right hand for the minor premise, clapping his hands together . . .Is that the conclusion? ?

"but.."

"Vivienne, do you want to negate our agreement or question my inference?" Dr. Cooper squinted his eyes with a murderous look on his face, as if he was about to pounce on me and bite me.

"No, no, exactly, exactly."

That's the way to go, I'm a scumbag against Sheldon anyway.

"Howard will find his true love, and then, no one will accompany me to the dance hall, take me to the park, buy me a burrito. His ringtone for me is "Brown Eyed Girl", 555555555" 15 minutes later , Raj, who couldn't stop crying, used up all the tissues within reach of my hands.It's really unbearable for friends to leave or something.Although I understand mentally, physically, since Raj is leaning on my shoulder now, I can only keep waving and winking at Sheldon to ask him to help me.His head is really heavy, I can hardly bear it! ! ! ! !

"Sheldon, can you help me? I checked my phone, and it seems that there was a text message just now." She winked and signaled to no avail.I had no choice but to ask for help.Who let the other party be Sheldon?He can only come directly.

"The fluid from his eyes and nose flowed back to me." Shelton tried to move a centimeter closer to Raj, then snapped back to his seat, and put on a calm version of "can't the concubine do it?" to" posture.

"Then pass Raj a tissue, let me read the text message." After a lot of effort, I finally moved Raj's head from my shoulder to the back of the sofa.Sheldon wrapped his hands in a tissue, then clamped the tissue with both hands and threw it into Raj's arms.After doing this, he picked up the hand sanitizer and smeared it on his hands.

awesome!Couldn't be more contemptuous! !

"Raj, don't you be sad, one day you will find your soul mate. I mean, the girl who likes you." I patted Raj on the shoulder, and I wished sincerely.On the phone is Penny's real-time update, "It's done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What, Howard succeeded in a blind date so quickly?!"

"Wow!!!!" What greeted me was Raj's wail.