Find him in the crowd

Xiang Sixi woke up on Shen Yi's sofa.When I opened my eyes, I first saw the ceiling light in the living room. From being unfamiliar at first, it has become kinder now.At ten o'clock in the morning, Shen Yi should have just woken up and had just finished breakfast and was clearing the dining table.Seeing Xiang Sixi getting up from the sofa, he did not forget to tell him, "I left you breakfast in the refrigerator."

Xiang Sixi saw the computer and books he put on the cabinet in the entrance, and then remembered that Shen Yi was two years older than him, and he should be busy preparing for his graduation defense recently, but he was always wasting time for himself.With his disheveled hair, he said to Shen Yi pitifully, "I'm sorry to trouble you again."

Shen Yi couldn't bear to blame him, "Forget it, it's not your fault. Who wants to encounter such a thing. However, if you want to drink in the future, just tell me, let's find a place to have a good drink. Don't be alone Hide."

"Shen Yi, you are so kind, thank you."

"Please keep your distance from straight men."

……

"That..." Xiang Sixi hesitated for a moment, and said bravely, "Can you lend me some money?"

……

With Xiang Sixi's character, being able to ask for a loan is certainly no small matter.

"Family matter?" Shen Yi guessed.

"En." Xiang Sixi nodded, and told Shen Yi about his father's illness.

My mother called to say that my father had been transferred to the intensive care unit.The fee is also higher than before, and the balance of the card is flowing out like water, and I don't know when my father will come out.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier." Shen Yi said. "Don't worry, I'll try my best to help you raise money. However, stay away from that He Fei in the future, your family can rely on you now, and if you fail to graduate because of this again, you will be ruined."

Xiang Sixi follows Shen Yi's teaching and stays away from He Fei.After quitting the club, I also gave the cheap piano to the new students who joined the club, and exchanged some pocket money.I heard that He Fei also resigned as a club teacher.Strange to say, this small school knew that he was here, but as long as he didn't want to see anyone, he really couldn't see him.

This summer, Xiang Sixi didn't want to stay in school to find a part-time job like in previous years, and bought a ticket early to go home.Shen Yi did what he said and really raised money for him.

"There's only one hundred thousand, which may not be enough for this kind of serious illness. You use it first, and I'll figure out a way."

Shen Yi's own mortgage hasn't been paid off yet, how can he have so much money.Xiang Sixi knew that he probably borrowed it from others as well.He's borrowed money, and he knows how hard it is.

In the intensive care unit, there was no way to accompany her to the bed. In order to let her mother rest well, Xiang Sixi rented a room in a guest house near the hospital, and he stayed at the hospital every day.Through the glass, I looked at my father who was full of tubes on the hospital bed. This man was not tall, and he couldn't even walk well with his limping leg.But he is the supreme majesty in the family, although he is unsmiling, he always has a sad face. Xiang Sixi has been afraid of him since he was a child, respects him, and despises him.Now that his father is ill, he has to bear the burden of the family alone, and he realizes that even maintaining this dilapidated home requires all his strength.

Sometimes he sat outside the emergency room at night, listening to his own heartbeat and breathing in the empty corridor, holding the critical illness notice in his hand.His mother sat next to him, staring blankly at the blinding light on the door.

He once read in a book that "If a person wants to fly high and run far, it is easiest to be empty-handed." He deeply believed it.He once felt that his parents were his burden. If he didn't have to send his writing and part-time salary home, he would live a much more comfortable life.They were poor and ignorant, and they dictated his life.

He didn't have a sense of substitution for his father's illness at first. To the poor, illness means spending money, but he didn't feel much about illness and death.He has been running around for money, and he didn't realize that he would lose his father until he got the critical illness notice.

It seemed like the setting of the story, no one ever told him that his father was going to die.He also acquiesced that his father would not die, and even if he was hospitalized, he would be discharged one day, so he continued to hold him back and was disgusted by him.

However, this heavy paper made him have to face this problem. He didn't want to "get rid of the burden" easily, he only felt scared and helpless.That crooked body had actually propped up a home and his world, but now it collapsed, and the dust that was raised was enough to drown him.

Until the doctor opened the door and told them that the danger was temporarily passed.

Halfway through the summer vacation, it is the hottest dog days of the year.Father's condition improved and he returned to the general ward.In order for you to let your father rest well, Xiang Sixi changed to a separate ward this time.This old man has been tortured several times before the gate of hell. He is so thin that only a handful of bones are left. He relies on a bottle for nutrition every day, and he doesn't even have the strength to reprimand Xiang Sixi.

The doctor also told him, "Although he is out of danger, please be mentally prepared at any time."

Xiang Sixi stays in front of the hospital bed every day, telling his father what happened in school.He talked about his roommate, the humorous teacher in class, which food in the cafeteria was delicious and which was cheap, the playground had a new plastic track, and there were more people running at night.Said that he has received interesting letters from readers, and others are happier to call him a "writer" than to win the lottery...

As he talked, his father cried.Holding Xiang Sixi's hand, it was full of wrinkles.

Xiang Sixi leaned against his pillow and called him "Dad."

Dad still couldn't make it through that summer.

That afternoon there was a sudden rumbling thunder, and huge raindrops slammed on the glass for half an hour. The sun came out as soon as the rain stopped, and the nurse outside the door shouted, "There is a rainbow." The ward People scrambled to lie on the windows and look around.

Xiang Sixi also opened the gauze curtain, but unfortunately his father could not see the rainbow.

"It's good to leave, I won't be punished, I'm free." After the mother finished speaking, she wept bitterly in Xiang Sixi's arms.

Xiang Sixi didn't have much time to be sad, and when his mother calmed down, he began to prepare for his father's funeral.

According to the customs of the village, it is to be buried in the ground.There is a special cemetery in the back mountain of the village, that is, the cemetery is full of names and surnames, and Xiang Sixi's parents are immigrants from this village. If they want to be buried in the village, they must avoid the graveyards of dozens of families. I don't know where to put them. The barren mountains and mountains have gone.

After discussing with his mother, Xiang Sixi decided to cremate according to the custom in the city.Everything about the funeral was simple, and he was buried in a cemetery near the suburbs, surrounded by mountains and rivers, so he could take a walk when he came to visit the grave in Qingming.Mother was also very satisfied with the environment of the cemetery, saying it was better than the mounds on the mountain.

Xiang Sixi does not intend to let her mother go back to the village.Thinking of those gangsters in the village, who dared to speak rudely in front of him, and how many ugly things they had to say behind their backs, when his father was around, he still had someone to rely on.Now that my mother is alone, if she is afraid of being bullied, she can only go home and secretly wipe her tears.

He used the rest of the money to buy a second-hand two-bedroom in the city.It's not the provincial capital, it's just the surrounding small towns, and the housing prices are not too outrageous.I bought a phone for my family, put my number on it, and taught my mother how to call myself, so I don't have to run to the village committee anymore.Teach her how to cook with a gas stove and how to use home appliances.

The old house in the village was rented to the village, and he didn't care what it was used for. Anyway, the rent was 200 yuan a month, which was considered an income no matter what.

A few days before leaving school, Xiang Sixi walked around with his mother around.Where is the supermarket, where is the shopping mall, where is the vegetable market, where is the hospital, and which way to take from the door to get to, all are written on a note for her, and pressed under the glass plate of the coffee table in the living room.

By the way, I bought a yellow dog at the entrance of the vegetable market. I don’t know what kind of hybrid it is. It hasn’t been weaned yet. It looks cute. I can accompany my mother to go shopping and buy vegetables.

Before leaving, Xiang Sixi bought good cigarettes and wine to visit her neighbors.The neighbor's son and daughter-in-law work in the provincial capital, and the old couple retired here to take care of them. The mother lives in a building for the first time. She is not very literate and is not familiar with the surrounding environment. Xiang Sixi asked them to take care of her.The neighbor readily agreed, but refused to accept his things, and refused to stay with Xiang Sixi for a long time.

It was raining the day we left.His mother insisted on taking him to the train station, and on the way she murmured, "It's better to be in the city, the traffic is convenient. You don't need to toss and turn."

Xiang Sixi "When I graduate, I will have a job. I will pick you up to the capital and see a bigger and better city."

Mother just smiled, "That's all right, it's good enough."

When we got to the train station, my mother still refused to go back, she had to see him get on the train before leaving.Xiang Sixi had no choice, while waiting for the train, he told his mother about the fellow he met on the train, the fellow who introduced him to work in the hotel.

Mother listened half-understood, and thought for a long time before she spoke, "Xixi, your father and I asked the doctor in the hospital, and the doctor said it's not a disease."

Xiang Sixi thought for a while before she understood what her mother meant.

"There's nothing you can do. If you really don't like girls, then you...you can find out what you like. As long as you live well."

Xiang Sixi hugged her mother, "Mom, I'm fine. We will be better in the future."

When his mother was 12 years old, there was a famine in her hometown, and her parents sold her to a bachelor in the village with two bags of rice.Within a few years, the bachelor caused trouble outside and was beaten to death.She didn't know what to do, she just cried.Later, the village helped her bury her.Later, the village chief intervened for him, and she married the teacher in the village. Although she was lame, she was a very nice person, a hundred times better than that bachelor.Now that the teacher is gone, she only has a son, who is her only support and the whole meaning of her life.In front of this son, the secular world and principles are not important anymore.

Xiang Sixi was lying on the train, rumbling and rumbling, unable to sleep at all, and the image of her mother refusing to leave outside the platform kept flashing in her mind.When he first learned how to read, his mother always taught him to recite "Quiet Night Thoughts" line by line. Later, he got bored and refused to listen to his mother's recitation, so his mother never taught him to recite poems again.In fact, my mother only knows that poem, and can only accompany him when he is learning that poem.

Back at school, Xiang Sixi packed her luggage and went to find Shen Yi, telling him that his father had already gone, so that he didn't have to raise any more money.

"I will repay the money I borrowed from you as soon as possible."

Shen Yi could only persuade him to mourn.

"Don't rush to pay it back, you should go to school first."

Xiang Sixi replied, "By the way, what are you going to do after graduation?"

"Continue to learn painting."

Xiang Sixi remembered that Shen Yi had said before that he wanted to take the postgraduate entrance examination and continue to study painting with his mother, and his two older sisters came here in the same way.Strange to say, none of the three children in his family studied literature with his father, and all of them are obsessed with painting.

"very nice."

Without the financial burden, Xiang Sixi doesn't have to skip classes all day long to work.Submit manuscripts on time every month, receive manuscript fees on time, and occasionally do part-time jobs, with less homework and more time spent in the library.Life seems to have returned to the time when he first entered school.

It's a pity that such peace doesn't even last for a semester.

It's Christmas again.All major clubs in the school have preparatory activities, and the school is busy, Xiang Sixi returned to the dormitory from the library.As soon as he entered the door, he received a call from his roommate saying, "You're on the headlines again. This time it's terrible."

It is reasonable to say that he is used to being on the headlines of the forum, but for some reason he suddenly became nervous this time, and he had a premonition that he didn't want to.

The headlines this time are really amazing.The title of the post is "Reveal the secret! The reason why the school grass did not have a girlfriend during college!" Although the names were not mentioned, there were a few recognized "school grass" among the later freshmen, but the title of "school grass" was used to refer to Xiang Sixi is almost an unwritten rule in the forum.

The content is only one sentence, "Because he is gay!" It was accompanied by a picture. When Xiang Sixi saw the picture, his head buzzed and he broke out in a cold sweat.

At Christmas the year before last, watching the sky full of fireworks, he confessed his love to An Mingye, and An Mingye kissed him.I don't know who took the picture, but I still keep it until now and send it out.

There are three roommates standing behind him.Xiang Sixi almost used all her strength to control her trembling hands, and clicked on the picture.

Fortunately, the photo was not clear, and he was in the crowd. His hair was sprayed in various colors, and there was no face. The pixel of the photo was very low, and only a pile of mosaics remained after zooming in.Although it can be seen that it is him, as long as he insists on not admitting it, he should be able to get away with it.

"What is this?" Xiang Sixi pretended to be calm, "Doesn't anyone who makes false accusations speak of evidence?"

"This photo is not clear at all, anyone can be called." Li Chaozhe said, "Did you offend someone? Someone is going to mess with you."

"We go to and from get out of class together all day long. You don't know if I offended anyone at school?"

Feng Qi: "Besides, even if it is offended, we are all classmates. As for using this kind of trick? I will graduate in one year, and this is deliberately trying to kill you with you."

"School is also a place to be reasonable. They will definitely investigate such unclear things. It should be fine." Hope.

The next morning, when I went to the cafeteria to eat, I was surrounded by people, but everyone who passed by had to whisper a few words--said in a low voice, but in fact, it seemed that he was afraid that he would not hear.

What he said was a rumor, but he knew in his heart that he was a little guilty.I stay in the dormitory on weekends and refuse to go out, so I ask my roommate to help bring meals.

Just after the weekend, Xiang Sixi was called to talk to the director's office.Falling in love is a private matter after all, whether it is a man or a woman is not considered a crime, the school usually turns a blind eye to this kind of matter and passes it by.However, it is impossible to ignore it if it is publicized on a public platform and has an impact on the school's reputation.

Xiang Sixi clenched his sweaty hands and refused to admit it. He insisted that someone was framing him and asked the school to return his innocence.

Xiang Sixi didn't admit it, and the school didn't have more sufficient documents, so he finally deleted the post, and it was nothing.

After leaving the office building, I received a call from Shen Yi asking him to come to the apartment, and there was a surprise for him.After hanging up the phone, Xiang Sixi thought that the past two days had been pleasant enough.Looking up again, he saw He Fei.

"I'm just here to tell you that I didn't do this. I only found out yesterday, too."

"Oh."

Xiang Sixi guessed that he was probably afraid that he would misunderstand that he did it, and shake him out and everyone would die together.

"Then, our business, you..."

really.

"What's our business." Xiang Sixi simply put the matter aside, "Although I don't understand what you're talking about, teacher, rumors only stop with wise men. Teacher should understand."

He Fei quickly realized, "Yes, you are right."

People who were still thinking about it half a year ago are too much to even look at it now.It turns out that I have never been an infatuated person, and even a little unfeeling.

After leaving the school gate, Xiang Sixi originally planned to complain to Shen Yi, but was blocked by a cool sports car.

Just as Xiang Sixi got into the car, a note was slapped on his forehead, "Repay the money!"

It was a small ticket for a car wash, and Xiang Sixi checked the amount several times before confirming that he was not dazzled.Confused, "What money?"

It was only then that Zhao Yunxiu remembered that this guy was pretending to be dead when he worked so hard as a driver.Hence the "patience" explanation. "The last time I sent you back to Shen Yi's apartment, you vomited on my car." Pointing to the list, "Car wash money. And last time, I took you to the hospital first and then sent you back to Shen Yi's apartment, car money. Together End it."

Xiang Sixi reconfirmed the amount of the receipt, and took out an air of no worries if there were too many debts, and no itching if there were too many lice, "I have no money."

Zhao Yunxiu looked him up and down.A pair of trousers worth 3000 yuan, and a jacket with just over a hundred balls at best - I really can't tell if he is lying.

"You thought I wouldn't dare to beat you up?"

"Then you beat me up, and the account will be written off after the beating is over."

"..."

It was the first time he encountered a rascal, Zhao Yunxiu, a civilized person, really had nothing to do.

"Did Shen Yi borrow some money from you?"

Xiang Sixi asked suddenly.

"It's none of your business! How can you compare with him, you have to pay me back."

Xiang Sixi folded up the small ticket and put it in his coat pocket, "I left the ticket here, and I will return it to you when the time comes."

Just now he reneged on his debts, but now he is so forthright, "You have some conspiracy, right?"

"What kind of conspiracy can there be in paying back the money? Why, are you afraid that I will smear the money on the money?"

"Of course not. You have to transfer the money to me."

"You're really smart."

Xiang Sixi got out of the car and left.

"Where are you going?" Zhao Yunxiu asked.

Xiang Sixi thought for a while, "Make money and pay you back."

"get out."

Turning a corner, whizzing past Xiang Sixi, he was blocked at a crossroad after a while.

When they arrived at Shen Yi's apartment, Xiang Sixi didn't mention Zhao Yunxiu, but only talked about the school.

"The evidence is insufficient. Listen to this word, the evidence is insufficient. Those who don't know think I killed someone. Not only can I not admit that I am in love, but I also accuse him of being a frame. I feel sad. Who messed with who?"

"Think about it, at least it passed without any danger. You are living in the context of the school now, it is difficult to grasp the right to speak, people are under the roof. When you graduate in the future, who do you want to love with whom? , no one paid attention to you at all. Well, let me tell you something happy." Shen Yi took out a piano case from the study and opened it, "Your piano is ready."

A good thing is a good thing, and you can tell the difference just by looking at it.Xiang Sixi plucked the strings, and it was the first time that he realized that "the lingering sound surrounds the beam" is really not an exaggeration.

"You didn't pay me out of your own pocket, did you? Are you sure my money is enough to make this violin?"

"You think I'm rich? Where can I get the money for you? This is my old friend of my mother's—Uncle Chu, please ask him to find someone to make the piano. I said I want it, for Uncle Chu's sake." I only charged the material fee. That is a national treasure-level master, and you have taken advantage of it."

It's a big deal.

It was originally intended to send He Fei, but now there is no need.Later, he wanted to sell the piano for some money after it was finished. This is great, and he can definitely sell it for a good price, but how dare he sell it.

"You are really my nobleman."

It's just that Xiang Sixi didn't dare to put such a precious piano in the dormitory, and kept it with Shen Yi for the time being.

"One more thing." Xiang Sixi said, "I plan to give up the postgraduate entrance examination."

Shen Yi asked him in disbelief, "Are you out of your mind? The school doesn't belong to him, so why don't you go if he's here?"

Xiang Sixi explained, "It's not because of He Fei. I want to graduate early and work. My mother needs me to take care of her, and my father is gone. I may have to run around in the future, which will also delay my studies."

"That's not only your studies, but also your career. What is He Fei working so hard for? And you are about to get the opportunity, so you just don't want it?"

"I can take the postgraduate entrance examination at any time, and it's not like this shop doesn't exist after passing this village. And now this happened again, think about it, if you often walk by the river, there is no one who doesn't get wet shoes, and there are many nights and dreams. Wait. In a few years, people who know these things graduate, retire, and I just go back."

In fact, there is another most important reason.At first, He Fei thought that Xiang Sixi could gain the relationship with Shen Lao.Later, he thought that Xiang Sixi got Mr. Shen's favor because he was close to Shen Yi. If he really got admitted to Mr. Shen's graduate school, he might cause damage to Mr. Shen and his own reputation.Although this kind of thing is groundless, but if it spreads out, there will be splashes, and Shen Yi might also be dragged into the water, and then the whole body will be speechless.

He didn't want Mr. Shen to be innocent for the rest of his life, and to be implicated by himself in the end.

"You have many reasons, and I can't tell you. You are not a three-year-old child, so you can figure it out." Now that the decision has been made, Shen Yi will not force him anymore. "However, you can tell the old man yourself that I am not a punching bag .”

……

Although he refused to be a punching bag, Shen Yi was encouraged by Xiang Sixi.He was actually very afraid of seeing the disappointed expression of Old Shen Shen.

Old Shen just sighed and asked him, "Have you decided yet?"

Xiang Sixi nodded.

"In that case, I respect your decision."

Filial piety has been a major issue since ancient times, and Mr. Shen has no reason to object.

"One more thing though. I've heard something personal about you lately..."

Xiang Sixi lowered his head, he could swear to the director that he had framed him at that time, but he had no way to deceive Mr. Shen, he could only keep silent, which was his tacit consent.

"I'm not an unreasonable old man. I don't want to ask about the affairs of you young people. However, our school has lost an outstanding student because of similar incidents. Xiang Sixi, I don't want you to be the second. "

Shen Yi was waiting for him in the living room, waving his fan in the winter.Seeing Xiang Sixi coming down, he crossed his legs and asked him, "How is it, the old man didn't beat you?"

Xiang Sixi shook his head, "Mr. Shen is not so violent."

"It's fine if you don't get beaten." Shen Yi gave him the fan in his hand, "It's for you, let's take it as a New Year's gift."

It is a Xiangfei bamboo fan with two chrysanthemums painted on the fan. The painting is very detailed, and even the veins on each petal are clearly depicted.The seven big characters flying freely and freely on the back——

"When was it blown into the north wind".

Xiang Sixi clicked his tongue, "Am I so tall in your heart?"

"Thinking about you too much. This is encouragement, do you understand encouragement. You are still far behind, so work hard."

"Thank you." Xiang Sixi said with emotion, "Thank you for being my friend. You help me again and again, but I have nothing to repay you."

"I didn't do it for repayment. Besides, I am very good to every friend. You are not the most special. Don't be moved blindly."

Xiang Sixi jokingly said, "I also said that I promised myself with my body, I was so excited."

Shen Yi restrained his joking expression, "A friend has a friend's standard, and a lover has a lover's standard, so they shouldn't be confused."

Hearing this, Xiang Sixi suddenly thought of Zhao Yunxiu, and muttered in a low voice, "It's so miserable to be your lover."