nowhere to be found

My name is Xun.

I like being alone.

I first met him when I was in second grade.

At that time, I returned to the so-called "hometown" with my parents who only knew how to make money like crazy.

My mother told me to build a good relationship with the children around me, and it will be much easier to do things in the future.

And I also know how to deal with "new friends". I took the candy I bought myself to share with the children here.

Children are greedy.

Then I saw him.

Turns out he was the guy who was born in the same ward as me on the same day.

I looked at him secretly for a long time.

He's not as handsome as I am, but I'm quite shy.But he was taller than me, which made me a little unhappy.

He is not very talkative, and his voice is very low.

I'm curious, is it really because of his shyness?

In order to prove my conjecture, I deliberately asked him to go home with him, asked him a lot of questions on the way, and tempted him with candy.

Only then did I realize that this guy's front teeth had fallen out, and his speech leaked out, so he didn't dare to speak much.

I laughed in my heart for a while.

Silly cute.

But then his teeth grew back, and I found that he was still very quiet.

He just stood there quietly, neither running nor making noise.

It seems that I played crazy with other people and ignored him for a long time, then turned around and looked at him again, he was still standing there without changing.

In fact, I like quiet people the most.

I followed the businessmen in my family all day long, and most of the people I met were shrewd, eloquent, and nonsensical guys who were also businessmen.

Although I said that I need to learn eloquence and how to deal with people and things, but in fact, I am so annoyed to death.

However, when I meet people, I still habitually open up the chatter box, observing their emotions and hypocrisy.No way, it's already natural.

Living like this every day makes me very irritable all the time.

Except when I'm with that guy.

I will feel a different feeling.

It was serene, flat, reassuring.

Because he is a good listener and caring person.I've loved being around that guy ever since.

As long as I stay with that guy, I don't need to worry about anything.

He is a quiet harbor or a piano under the moonlight, with black and white keys playing silent melodies.

Musicians make music out of nothing, don't they.

That guy, is he also writing some music that doesn't exist in the world?

And this feeling of being absorbed by his side deepens and becomes more obvious as the time spent with that person grows longer.

I go home with him every day, we can not say a word on the way, but when we see the same beautiful scenery, think of something pleasant, the moment we turn our heads to look at each other, we find the same joy and tranquility in each other’s eyes .

I always go to him for homework.That guy's study is not bad, but the liberal arts is not as good as mine.So I always find an excuse that if there is no topic, the two of us can have a good discussion together.

But during the whole process, we actually only said a few simple pointers, and there was no other superfluous words.

Others said that when two friends are doing homework together, they will inevitably forget to write or get distracted, which makes the efficiency low.

But I was in the same room with him, at the same table, more calm than at any other time.

He's reassuring, really.

I feel more at ease than anyone else.

I found that if I didn't meet him for a day, I would feel inexplicably irritable in my heart.

This guy looks like a drug addiction to me.

However, he was more ingrained than drugs.

As one wishes, I have been in the same school as him from elementary school to high school, and my parents who are running around have no plans to leave.

I just took possession of that guy's peace with peace of mind.

But slowly I discovered that that guy had changed.

He changed from standing silently beside me to standing behind me.

He seemed to want to keep a distance on purpose, he would not go out with me to endorse after class, but stayed in the classroom and stared blankly at the book.On weekends, he no longer studies with me.Usually after school, he will not wait for me to go home with me when I join the basketball club.

Although on the basketball court, I can see the guy just by turning around.

However, what I saw the most was the figure of that guy turning around and leaving.

It dawned on me that he was still there, it was just that he wasn't looking at me all the time.

Feeling irritated, angry, hurt, abandoned.

At that time, I don't know why, I suddenly found that I didn't seem to like girls anymore.

I also deceived myself and found a lot of girls who I thought were pretty good.

But in the end, I noticed that the girl I chose was exactly the same, similar to someone.

Similar to him.

Do I actually like men?

I accidentally said this guessing idea, but somehow, my words were overheard by a group of lawless guys.

They turned my words directly into the 'I just like men' rumor.

At that time, it was normal for bad elements to besiege and beat people they didn't like.They rely on their family's power and power to deal with people they don't like.

It's just that what they can't stand this time is the 'gay' me.

Then I was blocked by them in the library, and I could only let them beat and scold me speechlessly.

Because I don't know exactly what I want, it's very confusing.

Make me confused.

Then that guy suddenly appeared.

He appeared, blocked the fist for me, and then rushed up like crazy, punching the person who hit me the most fiercely just now.

It was the first time I saw him so angry, he was like a mother beast protecting a calf.

Crazy and angry.

Then I understood instantly.

gay?

heterosexuality?

I don't have to worry about it.

Because I only like him.

I just love everything about him.

Unfortunately, I can't get this opportunity.Because dragging him into the water, I couldn't do it.