looking away

【Song】

When I was young, I was chasing myself

disdain life in the sun

Go, go, strong old and weak

Slow down and look back at something

Into the deep, muddy river

I'd rather be in the sun at this moment

live in frustration

don't be where you can't see

Wanton singing

69. Emotions

After getting off the plane, Xiao Fan quickly turned on his phone, checked WeChat and walked towards the exit quickly.

"Still watching? I bumped into..." Liu Tong's voice came over.Xiao Fan quickly looked up and saw Liu Tong shaking the key in one hand, leaning on the railing of the exit, looking at her with a smile.So, Xiao Fan's tense heart immediately relaxed, and she thought to herself: No matter what Liu Tong found out, it probably wouldn't be a big problem.

"Are you tired?" Liu Tong asked after taking Xiao Fan's suitcase.

"It's okay." Xiao Fan put his arms around Liu Tong's waist.

"Go home first?" Liu Tong then asked.

Xiao Fan replied: "Yes."

When the car drove into the urban area, the flickering lights in the tall buildings on both sides of the road, mixed with the light bands brought by the traffic flow, formed a dynamic and jumping sound spectrum.Xiao Fan looked at it, and suddenly said: "I am not going out this time."

Liu Tong twitched the corner of his mouth slightly: "I know."

Xiao Fan was a little surprised: "You know?"

"Well. On the third day after you left, Manager Han sent someone to your home to deliver materials to you. The young man was very talkative and asked me where you went to relax."

"Oh..." Xiao Fan observed Liu Tong's expression carefully, but didn't see any changes.She went on to say: "I went to several Chinese hospitals."

Liu Tong turned his head and glanced at Xiao Fan, but did not respond.Xiao Fan explained in detail the reason for going out this time.Finally she said: "Take time as soon as possible, you go with me. By the way, there are taboos in life, how to eat, I will post it on the wall at home, and you do it."

After listening to Xiao Fan's words in silence, Liu Tong felt a sense of sadness mixed with gratitude.No one has ever treated her like Xiao Fan. Her family, relatives, and friends all gave her a little love at that moment.Originally, Liu Tong felt that this was the life that everyone must face.But since meeting Xiao Fan, Liu Tong's world has changed.Xiao Fan filled Liu Tong's life with almost domineering care.In her love, there is no demand, only expectations, expecting the health of the lover, the happiness of the lover, and the success of the lover.Under Xiao Fan's care, Liu Tong became soft and fragile.At this time, she suddenly felt a burst of fear: God, it is this person's love that fills my happiness... But if, once she is about to leave, how can I regain the strength that was exploited by her?

Liu Tong let out a long breath, and slowly said to Xiao Fan in a very low voice: "Don't be too nice to me."

Xiao Fan was taken aback for a moment, thinking he had heard it wrong.She asked, "What did you say?"

Liu Tong shook his head and said with a wry smile: "Xiao Fan. I will treat myself kindly. I will cherish the love you gave me, and walk happily on the road ahead. Don't worry."

Xiao Fan began to feel that the voice was wrong: "What do you mean?"

Liu Tong turned to look at Xiao Fan, raised his hand to caress Xiao Fan's face and said, "Honey, you are so pretty."

Xiao Fan frowned, she grabbed Liu Tong's hand and held it tightly, feeling nervous again.

At nightfall, amidst the clouds and rain, Xiao Fan really felt Liu Tong's changes, more devoted, more active, more indulgent, and more greedy.The roughness and impatience in her actions caused Xiao Fan to gasp several times, and had to stop her forcefully.But after a while of silence, Liu Tong would lean over and continue to ask.It was late at night, the two were leaning on the bed dripping with sweat, Xiao Fan looked at Liu Tong, and tentatively asked, "What's the matter?"

Liu Tong smiled, turned over, approved some clothes, and walked out of the bedroom. When he came back, he brought Xiao Fan a glass of warm water, "Xiao Fan, how are uncle and aunt?"

Facing Liu Tong's sudden question, Xiao Fan nodded blankly: "It's okay."

Liu Tong thought for a while and said: "That's good. Xiao Fan, you have to remember that in life, the only people who can't choose are parents and children. You must love them unconditionally and be responsible for them. Therefore, for the sake of parents, people do nothing. Too much. Go to sleep."

The next morning, Xiao Fan received a call from Zhang Luyun: "Xiao Fan, have you gone back?"

"...you know I'm going out?"

"What a coincidence. I went to S City to study a few days ago, and I made time to visit you in ZhH City, but it happened that you were not at home."

Xiao Fan was startled: "Are you here?"

"Well, no. I wanted to give you a surprise, so I didn't tell you in advance. I went directly to the company to find you, and my colleagues said you were on vacation. I found my home again, but you went out. Your friend even invited me to eat Rice, she didn't tell you?...Your friend is really nice, you must thank her for me. Oh yes, don't forget to tell her that when she sent me away, she asked me to bring the tonic for my uncle and aunt. They are all delivered, they are very happy, and when you come back, you must bring her home..."

Putting down the phone, Xiao Fan finally understood the reason for Liu Tong's mood swings.

70. Responsibility

After thinking about it, Xiao Fan sent Liu Tong a WeChat message: Gift received by parents.I am very pleased, let me convey my thanks, and kindly invite you to my home as a guest.Liu Tong immediately replied with a smile.

Xiao Fan stared at Liu Tong's smiling face, as if his throat was stuck by a fishbone.At this time, she could neither guess Liu Tong's thoughts nor where she should go.She is like a person standing on a fork in the road, not knowing whether to advance or retreat.

Xiao Fan sighed: Alas!No matter how much I think about it, I can't figure it out.Forget it, instead of guessing here, it's better to make it clear.After making up his mind, Xiao Fan sent Liu Tong a WeChat message saying: Going to eat western food at night?

Liu Tong replied with a horrified expression and added two words: no.

Xiao Fan: Afraid of getting fat?Then let's be vegetarian.

Liu Tong: Then don't go, it's boring.

Xiao Fan: I want to chat with you.

Liu Tong: Go home and talk.

Xiao Fan: Gao Yu is here, so it's inconvenient.

Liu Tong: She asked for leave to go home and left in the afternoon.

Xiao Fan: Well, see you tonight.

Liu Tong: Yes.

But the plan can never keep up with the changes, Xiao Fan was forced to run aground by a phone call from Lao Xie, who had planned to meet honestly.

"Xiao Fan, Lin Lin was just picked up by his father. Alas! Before the son left, he hugged me and refused to let go. You say, this child not only doesn't blame me, but also trusts me and relies on me unconditionally... What a good child. But I... Alas! Xiao Fan, I am not worthy of being a mother!" Old Xie's sobs came from the microphone.

Xiao Fan held the receiver, not knowing how to comfort him.

Lao Xie went on to say: "This child has been busy since he was a child. He has never tasted pampering or maternal love from me. Do you know that a child who is just in his early ten years old can hardly talk to his mother?" You have to be careful. He doesn't ask for things from me, he doesn't act like a baby, and he looks at my face when he does everything. Is this still a mother and child? Xiao Fan, tell me. Did I commit a crime by giving birth to this child? I knew it earlier , I would never get married back then, and I wouldn't bring him here..." Lao Xie was choked up and speechless.

As Xiao Fan listened, the figures of his parents appeared in front of him in a trance.She remembered what Liu Tong said to her last night: In life, the only ones you can't choose are parents and children. You must love them unconditionally and be responsible for them.What Lao Xie had to face, and what she had to face, seemed different, yet the same.The opposite is our inseparable responsibility, but this responsibility has become a mountain in front of the self that we have always tried to maintain.It was overwhelming.

Xiao Fan quietly waited for Lao Xie's voice to calm down a little before saying: "Sister, don't say that. As the child grows up, he will understand."

"Understood? Alas, how dare I have such good expectations. As long as he doesn't hate me, I will burn high incense." Lao Xie paused for a while and then said: "Xiao Fan, after the child left today, I suddenly I want to understand one thing. The past is the past, no matter how annoyed and regretful I am, I can’t change anything. Instead of being depressed here, it’s better to do something for the future.”

"You're right." Xiao Fan nodded approvingly while holding the phone.

"I want to do more for my child, so let's take a moment and count it. Say, I'll pick him up to go to school with me, okay?"

Xiao Fan agreed with Xie Qiu's decision in his heart, but at the same time she was also worried about her.This seemingly simple decision meant to Xie Qiu that she would restrain herself all the time, hide her xinxing forever, and even change all the lifestyles she had adapted to.This is definitely a challenge for a person who is over 40 and used to being free and easy.

"Old Xie, have you made up your mind?" Xiao Fan's tone was not questioning, but more like a reminder.

"Well, think it over. When I close my eyes now, Lin Lin's eyes look at me. Xiao Fan, I suddenly feel that what I want is no longer important, what I can do for Lin Lin, and what I can save It's the most important thing right now."

Xiao Fan understood Lao Xie's mood so well at the moment, and after thinking for a while, she asked again: "Then, can his family agree?"

"It shouldn't be a big problem. His grandma's health has been getting worse and worse over the past few years. I have paid them a lot of money, so the relationship can be maintained. Besides, the child his father found is about to go to school. Nobody cares, I guess they'd love for me to pick up the kids."

"If so, pick it up as soon as possible."

"Yeah. Oh! I'm so upset. By the way, some friends are here at the bar today and want to have a TT party. You can come too."

"What party?" Xiao Fan had never heard of it.

"Hey, it's just a party with a group of T's. To be honest, I'm not in the mood right now, but I can't help it because they are young. You know, bars need popularity, and everyone wants to be with me Here to play, I have no reason to refuse. You come too, help me with my work, and you can chat with me when you have time. I am really in a panic. "

"Hehe, it's really good. This can make a name for yourself. I, Lao Xie, I won't go, I don't like to join in the fun, and besides, I just came back a few days ago, and I want to go home to accompany Xiaotong." Xiao Fan said.

"Don't refuse, let me tell you, Liu Tong has promised to come, don't you know? You are also alone in the vacant room when you go home. Besides, I asked you to come mainly to accompany me. My sister is in a panic. , there is no place to talk, so don't ink, come here earlier in the evening."

"...Okay then." Xiao Fan hung up the phone, only to see the WeChat message just sent by Liu Tong: There is an event at Lao Xie's bar tonight, let's go together.

71. Faults

Before leaving get off work, Xiao Fan had some urgent work in hand, she told Liu Tong to go there first, and she was busy until almost 9 o'clock before leaving the company and rushing to the bar.As soon as he entered the gate of the bar, Xiao Fan heard laughter.I saw that the tables and chairs in the bar had all been moved. Around the center of the venue, the bar tables were arranged one by one in a long strip, and the bar chairs were scattered around the periphery. Liu Tong was on the inner side. Sitting in the middle seat, seeing Xiao Fan walk in, Liu Tong raised his hand and waved, indicating that there was a place for her beside him.

"Who is it, Sister Tong?" A young little T with white hair turned to follow Liu Tong's gaze.Xiao Fan, who was wearing gold-rimmed glasses, walked towards Liu Tong with a smile.She looked up and down for a while and said enviously, "How tall are you?"

Xiao Fan looked at Little T and said with a smile, "Not very tall, how old are you?"

Little T curled his lips: "It's not that big."

Liu Tong laughed loudly: "You learn very quickly."

Little T flicked the cigarette ash, and deliberately put on an old-fashioned expression of indifference.At this time, the door opened, and a few more people walked in. Lao Xie smiled when he saw it: "kao, I thought you guys would hang around and I won't come?" Then, she turned around and introduced to everyone: "These three are The friends who came from TW, they have participated in the parade abroad. This time they also stopped by us on business, and I asked them to come over for a while and chat with everyone." Liu Tong looked at the people who came in, Only one is slightly older, and the other two seem to be around 30.One of the young ones was dressed very exaggeratedly, and her punk-style attire made her look extremely different. After she sat down, she quickly mingled with the little Ts around her.Xiao Fan looked at it for a while, then went to the bathroom, and after a while, she came back frowning.

Seeing that her expression was not right, Liu Tong asked, "Uncomfortable?"

Xiao Fan shook his head, saw that everyone was talking to each other, and then whispered to Liu Tong: "I didn't dare to go in."

"What's wrong?" Liu Tong wondered.

"There's a big bug at the door." Xiao Fan shivered unconsciously when he said that.Only then did Liu Tong understand what was going on. It turned out that Xiao Fan didn't dare to go in because he was afraid.

Liu Tong smiled, fear of bugs is one of Xiao Fan's little-known ailments.In addition, she is also afraid of heights and darkness, and can't stand the noise, so she replaced all the cooking utensils in the house with wooden ones. As long as Xiao Fan is at home, Liu Tong has to be extra careful when doing things, for fear of making a rattling noise , made Xiao Fan unhappy.

Also, Xiao Fan's food is not usually hypocritical, he doesn't eat monosodium glutamate and chicken essence, he doesn't eat fried food, and he doesn't even eat dishes with oily flowers floating on the plate.When eating the dumplings on the outside, Xiao Fan always took a small bite first and poured out the oil before he would eat a few.No way, in order to make Xiao Fan more casual, Liu Tong had no choice but to learn how to make buns and dumplings by himself, and practiced a good kung fu.

Xiao Fan is still timid, never watching suspense dramas, let alone horror movies, even if the voice in the movie is slightly eerie, she will plug her ears early... Every time Liu Tong coaxes Xiao Fan to accompany him When watching a movie by herself, she always had to comfort her sensitive nerves while watching it.Naturally, Xiao Fan would not tell anyone about these minor problems, only Liu Tong knew everything about Xiao Fan well.At first, Xiao Fan felt embarrassed because he was embarrassed to let Liu Tong discover his weakness.But later, Liu Tong told Xiao Fan with a smile: Only in this way can you be human, real, and more like my Liu Tong's woman.

Yes, Liu Tong loves Xiao Fan not only because of her beauty, kindness, strength, but also the love she gives.Liu Tong loves Xiao Fan also because she knows Xiao Fan's softness and sensitivity, and understands Xiao Fan's timidity and truthfulness. She loves everything about Xiao Fan, and even takes those hypocritical things as the reason why Xiao Fan is cute.

She raised her hand with a smile, rubbed Xiao Fan's hair coquettishly and said, "Let's go, I'll accompany you. Let's see what dares to scare my baby, and see if I don't kill it." He picked up Xiao Fan's hand and went to the bathroom.

As soon as they left, the two people seated across from each other looked at each other and laughed uncontrollably. "Brothers, do you hear me?" One of them said to the people around him: "The big T who just came here is afraid of bugs to go to the bathroom. I just let her daughter-in-law embolden her to go. Hahahaha."

The punk T who came from afar became interested when he heard it: "Who? Let me see, why is T so cowardly? Let me tell you, this T has to look like a T, afraid of bugs, huh! If you say it out loud, it will be cheap. , What face do you have to hang around in the circle in the future? Let me tell you, look at me, do you see the scar on my arm? This is a result of a fight with two old men. Come, take a look, and There is this hairless area on my head. It was cut open by someone with a wine bottle when I got into a fight with someone. After stitches, my hair didn’t grow anymore. At that time, my face was bleeding, and I didn’t even blink my eyes. After all, let the grandson lie down... Tell me, am I afraid of bugs?"

"No!" Everyone booed.

"Do you think I look like a T?"

"Like!" Everyone echoed.

"Right! I think those who are afraid of bugs are not worthy of coming here today. Today, this is our T's game. Tell me, did she go to the wrong door? Or, she just sent it to the door! Hahaha... ...."

Xie Qiu frowned, she had a premonition that Punk T was going to cause trouble, and just wanted to find a reason to interrupt her.All I heard was that the older T who came with Punk T yelled loudly: "Fourth, I've drunk too much, what are you talking about? Sit down for me and calm down."

Punk T, who was called the fourth child, took a look at the older man, seemingly not daring to disobey, and muttered: "It was supposed to be." Then he sat down on the chair, and immediately raised his feet to the table in front of him, ignoring And there are refreshments on the table that everyone has not finished eating.

Liu Tong and Xiao Fan actually came back a long time ago, standing in the shadow not far from the crowd, watching the farce with a sneer.

Xiao Fan whispered in Liu Tong's ear: "Go home, it's boring to argue with them."

Liu Tong glanced at Xiao Fan and said with a smile: "Don't, they are so eager to be educated, we must not disappoint everyone's expectations. Don't be afraid of being boring, we can make it more energetic!"

The author has something to say:

When I was young, I was chasing myself

disdain life in the sun

this moment

I'd rather live aggrieved in the sun

don't be where you can't see

Wanton singing