guardian gl

Happy pictures make people sink, but painful memories make people sober.But no matter how sweet the memory is, I know that it is not true, it has passed, and I will return to reality after all.

The surrounding scene became unpredictable again, and I fell into the darkness again, but the touch of controlling my body was unprecedentedly real.

The pain in my chest was like an explosion, spreading to my abdomen, but my limbs and lower body didn’t seem to exist anymore. I didn’t feel the slightest feeling. I was a little panicked, and my breathing suddenly became short of breath, but my nasal cavity was stuffy, as if I was being suffocated. Something covered it, and I finally saw a ray of light, and I struggled to open my eyes, but the light was too strong, so I could only narrow my eyes slightly.

I saw the snow-white ceiling and walls. My mother was sitting on the sofa not far away, seeming to be dozing off. I looked to the left and saw rows of sophisticated instruments flashing blue light. The sunlight from the balcony poured on me, and I slightly look away.

Thinking about returning to my place, I only remember the moment when I was in a car accident on the way to the court of second instance. The car lost control and was thrown off the road railing. Death was so close to me. I thought I would never return to this world.

I opened my mouth to call my mother, but my mouth was covered with a respirator, and my throat was dry and dry, as if being cut inch by inch by a rusty blunt knife. I tried hard to move my arm, but there was no Without strength, I was a little resentful and annoyed. I propped up my upper body with my waist and abdomen, and tried to use my arms to get the water glass on the bedside table with the inertia of my shoulders, but my left hand swept the glass away uncontrollably, and the glass made a crisp sound when it fell to the ground. I was stunned, such a simple action consumed all my strength, and before I fell back into the darkness, I saw my mother rushing over anxiously and happily, and heard the hurried footsteps of doctors and nurses.

When he woke up again, his parents were in the ward, as well as his cousin Lin Xi.The mother is sitting on the chair, her hair is disheveled, her eyes are red and red, as if she has cried many times, her father, who always pays attention to his appearance, has thick stubble on his chin, which must have not been cleaned for many days, and he is not as neat as a normal suit Looking at me, only wearing casual clothes, looking at me with worry and pity in my eyes.

When they saw me wake up, they were all relieved and surprised, and there was a little... dodge?

"How long have I... slept?" The hoarse voice I just spoke was like the sound of yellow leaves falling from treetops rubbing against the ground in autumn. It was extremely dry and unpleasant, and I coughed again.

"It's been almost three months." Lin Xi replied, she didn't look good either, she was full of travel and dust, with deep dark circles under her eyes, she must not have had enough sleep.

The first reaction was Qing Han.

So I asked: "Qinghan, she..."

"Don't worry... I went back to China to take care of her, and the Su Group is also slowly recovering, but I can't find you... She is very sad..." Lin Xi took the lead from me and explained.

There was a dull pain in my heart, and the pain in my chest swept over together, over and over again, lingering on my dilapidated body.

I lowered my eyes and struggled to stand up again. Seeing this, my mother quickly embraced my shoulders, helped me up, and let me lean into her arms. There was a sob that I tried to hide in the tone of reproach: "You're still weak, don't move around."

There seems to be endless power in the mother's arms.

"I feel like I can't move my limbs. When will it be better?" As soon as the words fell, the eyes of the three people were a little surprised and regretful at the same time, and they randomly glanced a little dodging. My heart sank, and a bad thought spread. Come.

"It'll be fine soon... You have a good rest, don't think about anything." My mother stroked my back, as if trying to ease my emotions.

"I don't feel the existence of my legs at all, and I don't have any strength in my arms... How long are you guys going to hide from me?" My blunt and high-pitched question instantly changed the faces of the three of them. Pale and pale, the hands caressing my back also froze in place, Lin Xi lowered her head unbearably, sobbing softly.

"Father...you tell me, I can bear it..." I looked at my silent father, who seemed to be several years old, and said stubbornly.

I can take anything, I'm...ready.

After a long time, he took a few steps forward, pulled the chair and sat down again, stroked the beard of his chin, looked at my eyes with unbearable and pity: "The doctor said, your spine was injured in a car accident, which may cause ...the lower body was paralyzed."

Word by word exploded in my heart, and my mind went blank for a moment.

I felt the strength of my mother's hug on me suddenly increased.

"Xiaomu, I will find the best doctor in the world to cure you. The doctor also said that as long as you go through good rehabilitation, it is possible to recover..." Seeing my silence, my father hurriedly explained.

"What are the odds?"

Father was silent for a while, and then squeezed out some words from between his teeth:

"20.00%."

I looked at the window sill, it was sunny outside, the ward was on the lower floor, and it seemed that I could still hear the noise of children chasing happily in the activity area downstairs.

"Go out, I want to be alone." I said calmly.

"Xiaomu, you..." My mother hugged me worriedly.

"Don't worry, I won't do stupid things."

The three of them couldn't resist me, and they all left with worried faces.

The ward was quiet again. I lay on the bed and slowly closed my eyes, as if I could not hear all the cruel facts, and I could not see the sympathy and pity of others.

I know that it is difficult to recover from spinal injuries, and even through rehabilitation, the probability of returning to the way it was before is pitifully low.

I asked myself that I had never done anything wrong, why did God treat me like this?I tried hard to feel the existence of my legs, but it was futile, miserable, sore, pain, resentment, despair, self-loathing, it seemed that all negative emotions were covering my body, like a thick and tough net, no matter how I broke free not open.

The worried and pity eyes of her parents appeared in front of her eyes, followed by Qing Han's bright and happy smile, and her disappointed and angry tears after the verdict of the first trial.

The pictures used to be like film, and like old yellowed photos.

"Mu, will you always be by my side?"

"Mu, after graduation, will you really take me abroad to get married?"

"Mu, I like you so much, you must not leave me, or I will be very sad..."

"Mu, as long as I have you on the road ahead, I can bear and overcome any difficulties."

…………

"Why you?...Why did you bring my dearest person to court...Why did you do this to me?..."

"let's break up……"

…………

Whether she is lying on my back, hooking my neck with her slender and tender wrist, soft voice and my coquettish appearance, or she is covering her chest, pointing at me with one hand in disbelief, saying with deep pain and determination Looking at the appearance when we broke up.

I haven't had time to protect her with my whole life, treat her well with all of myself, explain all this to her, and beg her for forgiveness by my side.

Why, are you no longer eligible?

Feeling powerless came to my mind, I hated myself for being so weak and useless.

Suddenly there was a fishy sweetness in my throat, and the blood in my chest surged up. I couldn't help but lowered my head and vomited. Suddenly, there was a pool of dark red blood on the snow-white bed sheet.

I lay on the bed gasping for breath, with tears running down my sour eyes.

I lay down until the sky outside became dark. In the evening, there was a routine doctor's checkup, and my mother came in nervously. My father had something to do and went back to the company first. Lin Xi also went to work, but they all promised to come back tomorrow. Look at me.

My mother was taken aback when she saw the blood on my chest, but she still held back her emotions and silently cleaned up for me, and carefully changed my disinfection suit and quilt cover. I couldn't bear to see her busy figure.

I was taken by my grandmother when I was a child, and they took me back to Canada when I was a little older. My daily life was also taken care of by the servants at home. Since I was sensible, I have always been independent. I don’t need her to worry about illness. She didn’t take care of it at all. human experience.In other words, the mother in my memory has always been an image of a delicate and decent strong woman, helping my father manage the company's affairs. When have I seen her bowing her head like this?

My heart ached, and I wanted to reach out and grab the corner of her clothes to let her rest, but I couldn't find any strength.

I sighed slightly, and took another look at the darkening night, as if pressing on my heart, I finally opened my mouth:

"Mom, I've thought about it. I'll start rehabilitation tomorrow." The mother, who was bowing her head, froze when she heard the words, stopped what she was doing, and looked up at me with expectation and relief in her eyes, "Although it's unlikely, But I still want to try…”

My mother walked over quickly, leaned over and hugged me, and buried her head on my neck. I felt a wet liquid slipping down, and then I heard my mother murmuring choked up: "I knew it...Xiao Mu... You're bound to get better."

That night, my mother's sobbing was accompanied by the dark night outside the window, like the dew dripping from the lotus leaves in the morning, wetting my barren and barren heart little by little.

Rehabilitation is more difficult than imagined.

Because I have no feeling in my lower limbs and no strength in my arms, all my daily life had to be entrusted to the caregiver at the beginning. The body is exposed to other people's eyes, they wiped me, changed my clothes, fed me, and even... changed the catheter.

Of course it was tormenting at first, I didn't adapt, and I was a little resistant, but I knew this was a necessary process, I had to get used to it, I had to endure the feeling of... a crippled person paralyzed in bed.My mother knew my temperament, couldn't bear it, and wanted to help me personally, but I refused.

I'd rather have a stranger do it than a noble and wise mother.

Because I have been lying in bed for a long time and have not exercised for a long time, if I do not clean it in time, I will develop bedsores near my ischium. One time, the new nurse was not familiar with the work and did not turn me over in time, so I developed bedsores, which was even worse. Unfortunately, I didn't know anything about it until my mother came over and opened my quilt, pulled off my fleece pants, and saw that my knee joints were all red, swollen, and even festered. , my mother dismissed the little nurse angrily, and found someone to treat the affected area for me, and replace the fleece trousers and bed sheets with brand new ones.

I watched all this indifferently, without speaking.

The author has something to say:

I'm really sorry, because I'm busy with the exam these days, so I can't guarantee the update. It should be back to normal after the exam on the 27th.

I still took the time to code a chapter, there may be many theoretical problems, welcome to correct.