deep crush

The bullet train bound for City C was full of people, noisy and restless.

Two boys who looked like middle school students cuddled together and played games with loud voices. When they were excited, they would clenched their fists and screamed, clapping their hands and cheering.

Everyone nearby cast dissatisfied looks, but Xia Yan, who was sitting by the window, looked at them enviously.

It's nice to be young...

There is endless vitality, there is wanton swaying youth, laughing heartily is the most true expression of emotion, and all sadness and pain will eventually become a passing cloud.

He was also young.

As a freshman, I met Yuan Shuo, an extroverted roommate.

24 hours a day, they bond together like Siamese twins.

The energetic and talented Xia Han gradually attracted Yuan Shuo's attention.He joined Xia Han's club to cultivate the same interests and hobbies as him.Xia Han formed a band with several music-loving partners. He spent three months of living expenses buying a drum set and practicing hard day and night, just to stand on the same stage with Xia Han who is shining brightly To become someone who can keep pace with him.

Confession, love, Xia Han did not struggle for too long before accepting this same-sex love.

At that time, I simply thought that it was the last lover in my life, and they would definitely be together forever.

After coming out, the relationship was even more difficult.

An accident that no one expected happened, Xia Han once thought, if Yuan Shuo had left him cruelly at that time, after so many years, he might have forgotten that immature love long ago.

There is no such thing as hatred.

After getting off the bullet train and taking a taxi, the driver asked him where he was going

The address that he thought was blurred blurted out, it was the home he had lived in for five years, the home he and Yuan Shuo couldn't go back to.

After leaving for more than two years, City C has changed a lot. The driver chatted endlessly about humanities, weather, life, and emotions. The scenery passing by outside the car window was so unfamiliar that he couldn't recognize it.

In fact, it is not entirely because of changes.

In the past five years, his life was confined to a small box near his home, confined to a man named Yuan Shuo.

In the first year, Yuan Shuo did his best to take care of him who could not take care of himself as he promised.

Xia Han was moved by his friendship, and worked hard to do rehabilitation and to be a normal person again.

He accepted the change in his appearance, accepted the fact that he was mentally impaired, and accepted a brand new self.

When he finally got rid of the crutches and walked independently, Yuan Shuo shed tears of excitement with him.

He learned to eat by himself, go to the toilet, and speak at a normal speed, until one day he could cook a good dinner for his lover like a normal person.

He thought that life would get better and better, and all difficulties were overcome, and it was impossible for anything to defeat their love.

After getting out of the taxi, he took his luggage and walked into the community with heavy steps.

Before coming, Xia Juan asked him if he wanted to book a hotel, and he shook his head.

He is not sure about Yuan Shuo's situation. Since he is here to take care of a patient, don't be so pretentious. If there is a need, there will be time to book again.

When you meet a familiar aunt, greet him warmly.

Xiao Xia, how long has it been since you came back, where have you been, your Aunt Wang and I are talking about you every day, will you come back now and not leave?

Xia Han chatted with her with a smile on his face, and after they left, he let out a long sigh.

For five years, the people he knew well were the uncles and aunts in the community. No wonder Xia Juan was dissatisfied with his circle of friends, which didn't match his age.

Seven years ago, this was a relatively new community, and he and Yuan Shuo paid a deposit with satisfaction when they first visited the house.On the way back, I bought an ice cream to save money.You take a bite and I take a bite, sweetly looking forward to the future.

Xia Han, within five years, I will definitely let you have a house of your own.

Hey, young man, you have a high heart. The housing prices in City C are not low. You are planning to let me save money by letting me wear a piece of clothing for ten years with you!

Cut, you underestimated your brother, didn’t you?With my brother's ability, two years, at most two years, he will definitely be promoted to supervisor, and he will have to be a manager no matter what in four or five years!It's time to buy you a house, oh, it's drizzle!

roll!I want you to buy it for me? !Young Master, I am also a capable person. After five years, just watch it. The greatest building in City C was built by Master Xia.At that time, it is not certain who will raise who!Little Yuanzi, give me some ice cream.

come!

The cold lips were pressed together, and the sweet taste of happiness spread in the mouth.

Seven years have passed, the gray and white exterior walls have been mottled with time, the old fitness equipment in the green area has been removed and replaced with new ones, and the big red happy characters pasted downstairs have faded and fluttered in the wind.

For five years, he has gone back and forth countless times on this familiar road.

The dark green anti-theft door and the couplets were pasted by him personally three years ago. When he was away, Yuan Shuo would not have paid attention to these details at all!

Raising his hand, he mustered up the courage to knock on the door.

Even if the relationship is gone, he will not turn a blind eye to Yuan Shuo who will never leave him when he needs it most.

The promise of staying together for a lifetime has been broken. After nine years of getting along, the love has sublimated to a certain extent. Although it is not as thick as Xia Juan's blood is thicker than water, it is still a family relationship that will worry about, worry about, and be sad.

The door opened quickly, and Yuan Shuo smiled happily after seeing him.

When they first met in freshman year, Xia Han had a good impression of this big boy who was not too handsome, but had crooked eyebrows when he smiled and was warm to others.

Today, this smile is still there, but it has lost the charm of the past.

"I'm back." Yuan Shuo stretched out his hand to grab his luggage, and stepped out of the way, "You're tired from the journey, wash your hands, and dinner will be ready soon."

Xia Han was very surprised when he came back to his senses. According to Yuan Shuo's parents, the cancer was terminal and he only had a few months to live.He thought he would see Yuan Shuo lying on the bed with a haggard face and weak breath due to illness, but he never expected to see the scene in front of him.

"You... how did you..."

Yuan Shuo didn't notice any difference, and said again, "It's so cold outside, come in quickly." Seeing that he was still standing there blankly, Yuan Shuo simply pulled him in.

Xia Han has never seen a real cancer patient, perhaps because of his misunderstanding all along.After a period of treatment, Yuan Shuo's condition may have improved, and that's why he appeared in front of him so energetically.

Like a dedicated housekeeper, Yuan Shuo took the hat and gloves he took off, and looked at him with tender eyes.

Xia Han noticed that he was wearing an apron around his waist. Yuan Shuo hadn't been in the kitchen since he contracted the housework because he couldn't go out to work.Now there are four dishes and one soup on the table, which really surprised him.

The dishes are according to Xia Han's taste, light and non-spicy, and the soup is very rich, and it has been boiled for a long time from the aroma and color.

Yuan Shuo kept adding vegetables to his bowl, asked him how salty the dishes were, and babbled a lot, never taking his eyes off him from the beginning to the end.

Xia Han thought it was a little funny. During the last two years together, he saw Yuan Shuo's smile less and less.During the meal, he always talked about interesting things around him, but Yuan Shuo ate without saying a word.

Even looking at each other has become a luxury.

Xia Han couldn't help being a little puzzled, Yuan Shuo's spirit was too good, not like the state that a dying person should have.

After the meal, he cleaned up the bowls and chopsticks, but Yuan Shuo snatched him over, waved his hands to let him rest, and went to the kitchen with the bowls and chopsticks.

Xia Han stands in the center of the living room. Everywhere in this house is full of memories, beautiful, sweet, sad, painful... The five years that cannot be erased, the depths that cannot be erased.

Coming out of the bathroom, Yuan Shuo was no longer in the kitchen. There was movement in the bedroom. When Xia Han walked over, Yuan Shuo was hanging his clothes on the hangers.

The suitcase was opened, Yuan Shuo spread out his clothes, propped them up with clothes, and carefully buttoned every button.

I haven't seen such carefulness for many years.

Xia Han: "Put it there, I'll make it myself later."

Yuan Shuo smiled and said, "I do the same thing. You used to say that I can't button my buttons well, so I'll show you today."

Xia Han turned her head, "I'd better sleep in the guest room! I don't have much stuff, so don't worry about it."

Yuan Shuo paused for a few seconds with his busy hands, "I haven't cleaned the guest room yet, you can rest here first, and we'll talk about it at night."

In a two-bedroom house, the guest room was originally planned to be a studio for two people.Afterwards, Yuan Shuo used it all the time. There was a big desk, a computer, and a lot of space. Before Xia Han came, he had thought about buying a folding bed to make do with it.

Brain tumor, Xia Han knew that Yuan Shuo's grandfather died of this disease.According to Yuan Shuo's parents, there was no use going to the hospital, so he was recuperating at home.

He has never seen what a patient with a brain tumor looks like, but Yuan Shuo is no different from an ordinary person----it's really unbelievable.

"Why didn't you live with your parents?" For five years, Yuan Shuo's mother completely regarded this place as her own home, and she was given a key to come and go freely.I can always find some faults in the meals he cooks, the clothes he washes, and the quilts he makes.He can understand all this. No mother would be satisfied with a man who was originally a man but became a waste to be raised by his son.

However, since Yuan Shuo was seriously ill, if he didn't go to the hospital, he should live with his parents to take care of him. How could he feel at ease to let him live here alone?

After packing up his clothes, Yuan Shuo closed the cabinet door and stared at him, "Because this is our home!"

our home……

The 22-year-old Xia Han bought pieces of furniture from the wholesale market and moved them upstairs by herself to save money. At that time, no matter how hard it was, it was worth it.That's where he and Yuan Shuo will start to be happy, and that's their home.

For five years, he took good care of this home and guarded their precious love.

Xia Han lowered her head and smiled faintly, our home...we have long since lost our home.