i have always liked you

On May [-]st, Monday, it will be closed.

From getting on the car to getting off the car to the dormitory, I was in a trance all the way.

When Xu Ci called me, I was also absent-minded, and I didn't hear it many times.

Back early, Li Songning and Deng Qi haven't returned to the dormitory yet.

I set the box aside, wiped the table, and laid my head on it.

So, the truth is that it's hard for me to accept.

I am an atheist and I don't believe in the so-called ghosts and ghosts, but I have a feeling that I am a disaster star alive.

Ke Huansheng was right, the truth was covered up for no reason.

Not telling me is actually a kind of protection for me, I thought bitterly.

I didn't sleep well last night, and when I closed my eyes, there was a picture in my mind, as if I was there.

Heavy rain, car accident...

I pulled myself together and opened the box to pack my things.

I put the clothes in the closet, cleaned the dormitory again, and then sat on the chair.

In a daze.

I have never met my grandparents. I have never been asked to go with the grave-sweeping flowers, and the little aunt... I never knew her existence.

The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I became. My chest was so constricted that I could hardly breathe. I suddenly understood what it was like to be unbearable in life.

My family lost three relatives because of me alone. No wonder I asked how my grandparents died before, but Ke Huansheng didn't answer me, and looked at me with a more icy expression.

I couldn't help covering my face to hide my painful expression.

So I deserve all the "punishment" I've suffered in the past 19 years.

Deserve it.

After a while, the door opened, but I didn't finish closing the door, because Xu Ci said she would come over later.

She pushed the door open, closed it softly, and walked over to me.

She took my hand off and wiped my tears delicately with her thumb.

I let her gentle movements, but the tears still couldn't stop flowing, my eyes were blurred, and I couldn't see her face clearly.

With my voice choked up, I called her: "Xu Ci."

She stood and hugged me, my hands were hanging weakly on both sides, I had no strength to hug her back, but gradually I calmed down in her warm embrace.

If there was a thorn in my heart that couldn't be pulled out, I would inadvertently take a painful breath.

But now... now that thorn has turned into a knife and stuck/into my heart, dripping with blood.

She stroked my hair with her hands, then held my face in her hands, making me look up at her, "I'll take you somewhere."

Before leaving, she took my key, turned off the light, and took my hand to go out.

Then went upstairs again.

Our dormitory is on the third floor. I don’t know where she is going to take me. Friends from other departments that Xu Ci met on the stairs met us, and then made fun of Xu Ci. Xu Ci pursed his lips and smiled at them.

Almost the entire hospital knew about our affairs. Xu Ci and I were both picked up after that video, and all kinds of revelations surfaced, but fortunately, the two of us are not afraid of any dark history at all, and it didn't involve the most private Yes, only limited to some superficial ones are arbitrary.

It will not affect us.

Xu Ci held me tightly all the way to the top floor, which is the 7th floor.

She opened the small wooden door that looked a little old, and when it opened, it made an unpleasant sound, which was a bit harsh.

Xu Ci looked at me, raised our hand and shook it, "Let's go."

She stepped into the door first, and I followed.

It was a bit dark ahead, but not long after, Xu Ci took me around a corner, and it was another world.

C University is far away from the urban area, so the surrounding scenery is mostly mountains. We are on the roof now, looking forward, we can see the snow-capped mountains far away, and many houses of different heights. It may also be the nearby villages. It is closer It is part of the scenery of our school.

Today's weather is good, the sun is not scorching, it will make people feel very warm.

Xu Ci moved two chairs out from a small cubicle next to him, wiped them and led me to lie down.

A little uncomfortable, but very comfortable.

Xu Ci said: "When I am in a bad mood, I will come here. It was said by a senior from the previous class. Few people here know about it."

I closed my eyes: "Yeah."

The sun is just right, shining softly on my body. If it was normal, I would enjoy it, but my mood now is really different from before.

Xu Ci: "Smile."

Me: "Huh?"

"You can tell me anything, I don't want to see you unhappy." She drooped her head in a sad tone, "I feel sad when I see your frowning brows, and I feel very useless."

I found her arm and grabbed it, but I didn't speak.

What should I say?Where should I start?

"It's okay." I thought for a while and smiled at her. This smile is so far-fetched that I can feel it. "You are the best encouragement by my side."

Just let me be selfish and don't want her to know that my birth is so sinful.

Sin... I suddenly thought of this word, and then I was stabbed in the heart again.

Compared with the sadness I had before, the pain of my parents is far beyond my comparison. Will it feel like seeing an executioner when seeing me?I couldn't help but think, yes... I smiled self-deprecatingly.

Xu Ci looked at me with wet eyes, "Smile, we are lovers now, you can tell me anything and share with me, even if I can't share it for you, it's better than being bored in your heart alone. I feel so sorry for you."

I looked at the blue sky, and I shook my head: "It's okay."

I'm an annoying existence, right?Trapped in a small world, even Xu Ci, I couldn't open my heart to her on this matter.

Xu Ci sat up, pulled my face with a slight force, and said a little angrily: "You're thinking wildly again."

I looked at her clear eyes, red nose, and tight lips.

I asked: "Cibao, will you hate me?"

"No." She said firmly, with firm eyes, "I will always like you so much, and I will never leave you."

I grinned at her, "Thank you."

I know she is very worried about me, she didn't sleep well last night, she hugged me all the time, silently giving me strength and comfort.

I burst into tears again, and felt a little wronged for myself.

If this is the situation now, wouldn't it be better not to give birth to me in the first place?

Xu Ci hugged me tightly, my chin rested on her shoulder, she kept patting my back, "Cry, cry, it will be better if you cry."

Tears can't relieve me any, but they can let me vent a little bit of depression.

The phone rang, and it was in my clothes bag, and I didn't have the strength to take it out.

Xu Ci brought it for me, glanced at it and whispered in my ear, "It's my uncle calling..."

I was still sobbing on her body, but I stopped crying immediately after hearing this.

I let her go, then took the phone, and the caller ID was Dad.

Xu Ci wiped my tears and said softly: "Go ahead."

I hesitated.

I don't know why he called me suddenly, is it... because of this matter?

I panicked.

I sniffed, breathed calmly, tried not to look too excited, then swipe the interface with trembling fingers, and put the phone to my ear.

Xu Ci stood up, I reached out and grabbed the corner of her clothes, she smiled, "I won't go, just call me later if you need anything."

She gave me space, walked in front of me, and stood on the edge of the roof.

"Dad..." I yelled, my voice trembling a little.

He didn't speak at the other end, only heard his heavy breathing, and he was silent for about a minute. He said, "Xiaoyu."

I tried my best to keep my voice steady, "Yeah."

"Are you at school?" he asked.

He'd never asked before.

I have arrived."

"It's good when we arrive..." His breath was a little unsteady, "I've wanted to call you since last night, but I forgive Dad for not being brave enough to contact you until now."

I covered my eyes, he knew, knew that I knew about it.

He said: "Daddy is here to apologize to you ... for the hurt he has caused you over the years."

I shook my head here with tears in my eyes: "No...you are right..."

It was me who was wrong, and it was me who should blame myself.

He said: "You have always been good and good, we are... so wrong."

I don't answer, as I have lost the ability to speak.

He never talked to me like this, never said that I am good and I am good.

He said: "When you were born, your father was just in his thirties. I didn't expect that he would dare to face you like this now that he is nearly fifty."

He said: "When your grandparents were alive, they were looking forward to your birth, and so was your little aunt. The whole family was looking forward to it."

He said: "We are also looking forward to it, but we have done something immature for so many years."

He choked up on the other end: "Wait until Kankai wakes up, but I don't know how to communicate with you anymore, we...we are the most unqualified parents in the world."

The author has something to say:

Mom also...

Xiao Ke may be the worst heroine in my writing...

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Xiao Ke5555

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