Self-illness

In the darkness, the wave of shallow moaning slowly pushed up at first, eased and a little impatient, surged again and again, and finally vented down in the hunger and thirst of the ****, and it was like a leap that chilled the whole room. silence.

The light from the lighter pierced through the black set. Under the firelight, Kou's obedient shoulders were covered with sweat, and the scattered smoke was full of hormones.

"You're smoking too much."

A hand stretched out from under the quilt, and squeezed the cigarette on Kou Kuai's fingertips.

Xu Mi sat up, looked sideways at Kou Guaiguai in the blurred light, and exhaled smoke rings: "Stay with me for a day today."

"What's up?"

"Just walking around, enjoying the autumn breeze, and looking at the street scene."

Kou obediently lay in Xu Mi's arms, feeling the softness of the woman's skin: "What's special today?"

"No." Xu Mi touched Kou's obedient hair and neck, gently: "Sometimes I'm not reconciled."

Kou smiled obediently, not knowing why: "What do you mean?"

"It's not that you are very good at bedtime, but I still ask you to do it. I desperately linger at night, but I have nothing to do with it during the day." Xu Mi laughed at himself, but also felt a little disappointed: "I don't want to be like you, Kou."

Everyone who behaves intimately with her will subconsciously call her Kou, leaving aside her innocent-sounding word obedient.

Even if the night is removed, what difference does one more day make?Kou obediently raised her head, and gently moved her lips and tongue back and forth on Xu Mi's chest. Amid the latter's low gasp, she suddenly increased her strength and planted a strawberry, before finally letting go: "There is nothing wrong with it during the day." More, I will accompany you."

She stood up and touched the switch against the faint light coming in from the window, turned on the light and turned to look at the naked person on the bed: "So you fell in love with me?"

Xu Mi pulled up the quilt lazily, lay back on the pillow, and threw the cigarette butt into the glass with a small amount of beer beside him: "I seem to have this feeling recently."

"But you said you don't know how to like someone." Kou obediently put on the clothes one by one, searching in her head for the countless conversations they had in the dark before: "I can't understand all emotions, except the ones that can't be expressed .”

"I heard that liking someone is not very organized." Xu Mi still closed his eyes, as if he was half asleep to deal with the doubts in the person in front of him and himself: "I just think it's too boring, at least I can try , isn't it?"

"The rabbit still doesn't eat the grass by the side of the nest, so you have to look for me." Kou, who was dressed, obediently threw herself on the bed, turned Xu Mi over, and made her face herself: "Try with someone else."

"Oh, don't want to." Xu Mi put his arms around Kou's obedient neck: "Try it out, only you are the most suitable."

Kou obediently raised the corners of her lips: "For example?"

"Only you look like a natural couple no matter which woman you are with. You love and dote on any woman. The most important thing is that no matter what I do, you will not die like other people. You will not die because of I used to fall in love and was so sad that I couldn't control it." Xu Mi gently bit Kou's collarbone, and took advantage of the situation to slowly sit up.

"Really, how do you know that I'm not sad." Kou obediently pulled Xu Mi's hand away, and squeezed her slightly pale face: "Every time a girl says that I'm philandering and wants to leave me, I feel so distressed. No, after all, things like women are really worth collecting, and I would be sad if there was one less."

"At least I can't see it." Xu Mi found his own clothes from the books scattered on the floor and slowly put them on, his waist-long hair exuded a soft dreamy brown under the light.

Kou, who was brushing her teeth in the bathroom, tightened her waist obediently, and what was reflected in the mirror was Xu Mi's always slightly melancholy face: "Go out with me."

"Playing role-playing again, don't put the plots in the novel on me, although it doesn't have any effect, but sometimes it feels like it's real." Ever since we met, Xu Mi has often said strange things in front of her, Strange thing, in order to experience the feeling and environment of a broken-hearted person running away, I went out in pajamas at three o'clock in the morning, walked aimlessly along the road in slippers, walked for more than seven hours, and sat on the bus in a mess When she came back, she slumped at the door: [Cao, do you think the person who left brought any money?No money, no friends, it seems like you have to go back to the person you depend on when you go out, right? 】

Fortunately, she was the one who was tormenting about this kind of thing. Even if she felt distressed, there was nothing she could do about it. Who told the woman who was holding her behind her to have nothing but a hobby of writing.

"Are you dating? I'll raise you." Xu Mi looked at the figures of the two in the mirror, and couldn't help admiring: "Look, how well matched, you and I are beautiful standing together."

Kou obediently spit out the mouthwash: "Yeah, you're beautiful."

"Then you agree or not?"

"Don't make trouble, you just hold your novel and live." Kou obediently wiped off the water stains left by washing her face in the mirror, and carefully looked at her eyebrows: "Have you brought an eyebrow razor?"

"Bring it."

"Help me fix it later, the eyebrows look really thick." Kou obediently opened the cabinet, took out a toothbrush and squeezed a full amount of toothpaste to Xu Mi who was still in a daze: "Then we will go out beautifully."

"Hey, this is my previous toothbrush."

"Yes, last month's, I put them away, there should be no mildew." Kou obediently took out the clothes from the washing machine to dry, and walked around behind Xu Mi.

"I want to use your toothbrush." ​​Xu Mi stared hesitantly at the toothbrush in his hand and at Kou's obedient toothbrush just now: "I heard that I love someone, so I share a toothbrush with her."

"Then you use it. I don't know if you love it or not. Everyone who has been here likes to use my toothbrush." ​​Kou obediently felt annoyed and amused at the woman in front of her who liked to use novels and romance routines.

After Xu Mi really finished washing and putting on makeup, Kou obediently mopped all the floors at home. Unlike octopuses, Xu Mi was always addicted to imagination.

How to like, to love, to stay together, to snuggle.She would pinch a cigarette in the room, feel the chanting and imagination back and forth, but she would never wipe off the ashes on the table legs like an octopus.

Her affection, her love, endowed words, but always all kinds of gorgeous language.

"Come on, sit down." Xu Mi held the eyebrow razor in one hand, supported Lao Kou's obedient face with the other, and turned to him: "Let me think about how to shape it for you."

"Don't make trouble, just make it smoother."

"I have to repair it according to the way I like it. Then I will help you to draw it carefully." Xu Mi's hand holding the eyebrow knife has already moved, and the sound of the blade scraping the fur exploded on Kou Kuai's eyelids.

Kou obediently remained motionless: "Don't mess around."

"It feels so good."

"what?"

Xu Mi smiled slightly, and the freshness of toothpaste still remained in the exhaled breath: "That is, there is a feeling that you are under my control, you can't move around, let me manipulate you."

"Hey, you still said, I feel uncomfortable."

After finally painting her eyebrows, Kou obediently took a look in the mirror, breathed a sigh of relief, and secretly thanked Xu Mi for not giving herself a pair of willow eyebrows, but simply sketched them according to her original eyebrow shape: "Let's go out!" .”

"So promise me and be my lover." Xu Mi repeated the matter as if asking for credit.

Kou obediently took over Xu Mikuan's bag: "You've had enough, what medicine did you take today?"

"No, I just want to experience what it's like to be in a real relationship." Xu Mi was a little disappointed.

I've never been in love, and even though my hands are full of separation, I still can't understand why street lovers are so painful to part.Xu Mi said: "Cou, teach me how to be reluctant, how sad, how to shed tears, okay? For others."

And not the story, and not just for myself.

"Isn't it okay for you to be like this? There are women changing around like a horse, anyway, I don't choose, and I don't have to worry about getting drunk when I change people." Is it good or not.

The biggest problem bothering Xu Mi is that she cannot believe in the existence of other people's feelings.Many times, she felt that people were sad, not really sad.For example, when a man and a woman break up, she feels that the other party may feel unfair, hate each other, and feel sorry for herself. She just uses the name of love to cover up her true thoughts.

She doesn't write these things in her novels, but she doesn't believe in any form of emotion in her life, even if she is with her parents, she is like a passerby.

"Do you remember that Chen Yi?" On the street, Kouaiguai suddenly remembered the woman who had accepted her bracelet: "She is a psychiatrist, maybe you can talk about something interesting."

"It's so rare. I really like her." Xu Mi tried hard to recall the faces of the people who ate together that day, but in the end, he only thought of the food: "We ordered exactly the same dishes when we ate. It's a coincidence. At that time, there were dozens of dishes.”

"So if you have time, you can go out to play. You should get in touch with people more, instead of just standing on the street and looking at others, explaining from your own point of view." Kou obediently took out two ice creams from the freezer at the entrance of the supermarket and handed them to Xu Mi said: "Talk to yourself all day, ask countless questions, sooner or later your head will break."

Xu Mi is very talkative. If she meets someone she can talk to, she will always ask the other person, but more often she is alone on the street or in the room, whispering non-stop, asking questions, answering, and so on. .Kou has always felt that half of her head is abnormal.

"Okay, introduce me to all the women you like." Xu Mi licked the ice cream and closed his eyes, pretending to be intoxicated: "Winter is coming."

"Go find a job and learn from other people's honest life." In this way, you won't often suffer from insomnia, sitting in the room by yourself and constantly enjoying the boring and repetitive life.

Kou has always been a little uncomfortable with Xu Mi's life style: "Then you will have colleagues, you will have a job that tosses you for eight hours a day, you can get some money, and you can accumulate some writing materials, just feel different. life."

"Then I'll try?" Xu Mi rarely thought about it, but Kou obediently felt uncomfortable: "But can you really stand the nine-to-five working hours?"