Drunken Master

Pei Yan also only has a one-week vacation in Beijing, during which she needs to go to the studio to record a variety show, a cultural promotional film about Chinese Kung Fu, and then go to other places to film a TV series.

Sa Risheng, who was going to be filming with Pei Yanjin, also came to Beijing.It seems that there is nothing serious about it, just came out to hang out on vacation.

Pei Yan knew about Xiao Sa's itinerary, so she asked casually, should I pick him up at the airport?

Xiao Sa replied to him, no need, someone picked it up.

As soon as Pei Yan heard that someone answered, he gave up. For people other than Zhuang Xiao, he was not so enthusiastic and driven, and he would not cover everything.

Who will pick up the little prince?

Sa Risheng didn't think so much, and said "someone will pick him up", that is, the acquaintance of the banker class picked him up to play with him.

Xing Rong also sent Xiao Sa to WeChat: [When will you arrive in Beijing?Is there someone to meet you at the airport?If you can't find a car to drive, I can pick you up. 】

Then, Sa Risheng replied to him with three words: 【Tomorrow. 】

It's really troublesome to meet such a boring bun.

Xing Rong held the screen of her mobile phone, stared at these three characters, and thought about it for a long time: So, is someone answering your call or no one answering it?Do you want me to pick it up?The most important thing is, which airline ticket did you buy, which city did you come from, and what time and time did the flight take?Do you think I'm a professional fan who squats at the airport all year round to pick up planes? Where can I check your flight?

Every communication is so ridiculous, brother Xing sent one, [-] characters, and Xiao Sa replied him with two words.Putting together the number of words one after another, there are a total of twenty words.

In the early morning of the next day, another heavy snow fell in the imperial capital.The heavy snow may not stop. The weather forecast always cuts off the beginning and ends and only reports the median value, and does not report the real extreme peak of the day. This may be a blizzard.

The flight was delayed, delayed again and again, from morning to afternoon. Finally, the snow plows on the airport runway worked very efficiently, and the plane finally landed normally.However, a large number of passengers were stranded at the airport, unable to get out.

The play plan must have been ruined. The buddy who had originally made an appointment to pick up Sa Risheng in the morning was taken by the crew to work overtime in the studio on the first day. He took a taxi back by himself.

The taxi stand is crowded with people, and the queue will not be able to get a taxi until tomorrow morning.

Sa Risheng carried his large field hiking bag and looked around the crowd, feeling bored, unhappy, and disliked.It's not good to enter a big city, the traffic is very inconvenient... how can I rent a horse?Renting a camel can also do the trick.

At this moment, he received another WeChat message from Brother Xing: [Have you arrived yet?I drove to the intersection of "arrive", and there was a traffic jam, is it you or me?Or should I be fast? 】

Xiao Sa replied: [It seems that I am coming soon, I am here. 】

It is rare to answer seven characters and two punctuation points at once, creating a new personal record. Xing Rong looked at this line of words and wanted to complain about the other party: After driving for two hours on the road, I finally arrived at the airport. You answer me seven times. A word, it's not in vain for me to toss.

Xing Rong said: 【I can't drive anymore, there is a snow plow in front of me, and the flying snow foam has covered my front window! 】

……

The snow was still falling, and goose feathers were flying all over the sky. Large flakes of beautiful snowflakes fell from the sky and flew to Xiao Sa's face in a whirl, and her braids soon turned white.

Xing Rong got off the bus, and on the crowded platform, she saw the target at a glance, and quickly waved.That's right, the tallest one with the long hands and legs and the one with the least clothes.In the middle of a group of slow-moving "bears" in down jackets, there is such a "camel" wearing a leather jacket, which is easy to see.

Xing Rong did a complete camouflage work. She used the childhood memories version of the knit collar to cover the lower half of her face and neck tightly, and then put on a hat, only revealing a pair of eyes.This guy wearing an orange collar and a light blue pompom hat walked up to him, and Xiao Sa recognized him as an acquaintance.

Xiao Sa was very happy, showing her canine teeth with a smile.

Then, under the jealous red eyes of the people waiting for the taxi, this guy happily followed Brother Xing into the car.

Xing Rong asked: "Do you need to carry luggage? Is it gone?"

Xiao Sa said: "It's gone, just me and a bag."

"No luggage, I will carry you."

Xiao Sa talked happily, and pinched the pompom on Xing Rong's hat, as if carrying him along the way.

They drove the car away from the airport.However, the day is far from over.

The airport runway is the cleanest, and there are powerful snowplows working non-stop.The outside has been blocked into chaos, and the road into the city is paralyzed.

Soon, all the lanes were blocked in all directions.There were problems with cars all the time, this one stalled, that one ran out of gas, two more cars were scratched, and one hit a barrier... The two were held back on this road and couldn't get out. At the beginning, I was still upset and complained, swearing at the street out of the window, scolding the shameless Gasser in front.Later, Xing Rong lay on the steering wheel and laughed. This was the worst drive in my life. Why did I come out to pick you up?

That's right, if he didn't come to pick him up, he should be comfortably curled up on the sofa at home, drinking a cup of hot black tea and looking at the dishes.Sa Risheng had just found a hotel to live in, or slept in a bunk at the airport.

Sa Risheng also smiled: "I just said, if a horse comes, it will go out long ago."

Xing Rong said: "Otherwise, you go down, you go for a stroll, step on the snow, and come back in half an hour, I should still stand firm here."

On the way, Xiao Sa got off the car to relieve himself, and stopped in the holly bushes in the roadside isolation zone. Looking left and right, he found a large row of men urinating there, and the scale was quite spectacular.

Then Xing Rong got out of the car to relieve himself. He pulled down his hat and pulled up his neck collar. It was the first time in his life that he did such a thing on the side of the street. It was really uncivilized and I was so sorry.Didn't mean to think this way.

He stood in the bushes and unzipped his trousers, looked around frightenedly, and found that everyone was shivering from the cold and looking down at the birds, and no one cared to look at him.He also bowed his head to pick out the birds, and when the cold wind blew, he and the birds shivered wildly, the birds were also cold.

Back in the car, Xing Rong wanted to be very happy, and said: "Just now I was halfway peeing, and a huge snowflake floated over and fell on top of me unprepared. Pants are on!"

"Hehe." Sa Risheng smiled, imagining the embarrassing and ridiculous scene, a snowflake teased Rong Rong's bird.

This kind of chat is casual and wretched.In front of outsiders, they are all pretending, wearing the mask of an idol, like a listless marionette hanging in the palm of others.Xing Rong said: "If you pee outside in such cold, the water column will freeze in mid-air, is that right?"

"Yes." Sa Risheng said solemnly, "There is indeed winter on the grassland. When a water column comes out, it splashes and freezes. It freezes the chickens on the body together and freezes into an icicle."

"Then what should we do?" Xing Rong looked at the other party.

"Then, you bend down and break the icicle off the ground, run back with the icicle, go back to the yurt, and lean against the stove for a while, the ice melts, and the icicle becomes soft, you can take it back .” Sa Risheng said.

"Go ahead!" Xing Rong laughed loudly, "I'm from the city, so keep on talking to me."

"Really, I didn't tease you people in the city." Sa Risheng really continued to pull, "The horse's legs were covered with wind and snow. Just take a shovel and shovel up the horse’s hooves. In the early morning of winter, I went out to slaughter a sheep and eat it. When I cut it down, the blood froze in my neck before it spurted out. Together with my knife, It was frozen into a lump, and the knife could not be pulled out. I had to wait until noon, when the sun was at its peak, and I struggled to pull out the knife before I could pull it out."

Ha ha ha ha--

Xing Rong was lying on the steering wheel, so good at making up, so fucking funny.Then there was a duet laughing in the carriage, and Xiao Sa also laughed, muffled and smug.

Xing Rong's evaluation concluded: "Baby Sa, the more you speak Mandarin, the better. Every time I see you, you can speak better than the last time. Next time you come to Beijing, you can go to Deyun Club to talk about cross talk."

"Do you want to make a film? Do you have any lines?" Sa Risheng said, "I practiced."

"Have you really practiced?" Xing Rong praised the other party, "You are much more dedicated than those who read 1234567 to the camera!"

"Of course." Sa Risheng was quite proud of being praised.

Just stuck in the road like this, in fact, I don't worry at all, it's quite happy.

This road was moving forward at the speed of a turtle, and it was getting dark. They finally passed the toll booth and entered the city.Half of the city was paralyzed, and with such a blockage, the toll booths were still sticking to their posts in the ice and snow.

Xiao Sa suggested to help Rong Rong drive for a while, so the two changed places during the traffic jam.

Xing Rong bent over and got up, and stepped towards the co-pilot, and Xiao Sa moved over from below.

Then, Xing Rong discovered that he had made an extremely wrong decision again, and he could have driven the car home safely.

He didn't mind lending his car to Xiao Sa to drive.But let Sari Sheng drive? !

Fuck, this person's driving skills are far worse than riding a horse... Fuck, this is a road in the city, not a sky road on the prairie... Fuck, it's still snowing outside, it's half a foot thick... Gosh it's crazy.

Even the snow chains couldn't stop this man's wild driving style. Soon, at the edge of the city, Comrade Xiao Sa drove Xing Rong's car into a roadside ditch.

The last swipe is very chic, just like a galloping horse making a U-turn, causing the rear of the car to wag its tail in the middle of the road, and it slammed into the ditch.

The two got out of the car together, stared at the car stuck on the side of the road with wide eyes, and started laughing wildly again for a long time.

Because if you don’t smile, you will be cold. If you stand in the snow and don’t smile, your cheeks will freeze soon. It’s only when you smile that you feel warm, and your whole body is warm.

Their car was not alone either. There were many cars parked in twists and turns on the side of the road, broken down for various reasons.Sa Risheng rolled up his sleeves and tried it. They couldn't push the car out by themselves, so they had to abandon the car and leave.

The snowflakes quickly turned Xiaosa's hair and eyebrows white. Brother Xing stretched out his hand, and the snowflakes melted away with his palm.Xiao Sa's hair became wet, and a strand of hair hung down. The wet hair made his face look more vivid, his face was pale from the cold, his nose was red, but his eyes were bright.

Struggling in the snow, they found a random hotel within walking distance.Before going in, Xing Rong thought for a while and said, "Go to the front desk to open a room, and I will sneak in through the back door."

Xiao Sa nodded, and Xing Rong was afraid that the other party would misunderstand, and explained: "Don't mind, I'm afraid that if someone recognizes you, it will be troublesome, and it will hurt you. It's not good. You can only go in first and open the room with your ID I'll sneak in. I'll pay."

Xiao Sa said, "You don't need to pay."

The hotel is a temporary refuge shelter, gathering many people who came from the airport with their luggage.Xiao Sa only got a small room.Xing Rong slipped into the hotel 10 minutes later with her neck covered, and took a packaged takeaway from the restaurant. The two met at the entrance of the bathroom in the lobby, as if they were doing underground work, and then sneaked into the upstairs room...

Frozen, hungry, and exhausted, I open my room to eat and sleep, and I have nothing else to think about. The biggest thing I want to think about is to throw myself on the big bed with the heater in my arms.

Sa Risheng went in to take a shower and changed into a shirt when he came out.Xing Rong finally found the bracelet he made on the opponent's left wrist.

"I thought you had already thrown it away." Xing Rong was surprised.

"It's not broken, why throw it away?" Sa Risheng was very honest.

During the previous journey, he had been observing Xiao Sa's wrist. After looking at his left hand and his right hand, he couldn't see the red crystal bracelet.He didn't ask either.It doesn't matter, if you don't have it, you don't have it, don't expect the other party to take this little thing seriously.

It turned out that it was tucked in the sleeve, so he didn't see it.

"Thank you for not giving up." Xing Rong smiled.

"Why do you dislike it?" Xiao Sa didn't understand.

This person is straight-headed and doesn't know how to turn around. Xing Rong waved his hand and didn't explain anymore. He was exhausted and went to sleep!

Enjoying the warmth of a room on a snowy day, the two of them each got into a quilt and fell asleep under the big quilt.

Xing Rong ignored the text messages and phone calls from his manager and assistant Cha Gang, turned off the phone and disappeared.Fu Sheng steals half a day's leisure, and the sound of chickens crowing and dogs barking is completely ignored, which is great.

……

On the other side of the city, Pei Yan put snow chains on the tires of the car and went out.

It had been snowing for several days in a row, and he suddenly thought, should he go and visit the old man with a bad temper?The road is blocked by heavy snow, Zhuang Xiao's father is like that, his legs and feet are inconvenient, and there is no one to take care of him. Don't be hungry if you can't eat?

There are salt-spreading and snow-plowing cars on the roads in the city. The roads are passable, but very muddy and congested.

He drove for a while, but if it didn’t work, let’s take the subway instead.

When I got to the subway station and looked, I'll be damned. There was a huge crowd of zombies rushing towards the end of the world... He couldn't even see the security check at the station, and the entrance to the avenue was already blocked. go up the steps.

Pei Yan turned around and left, I'd better drive as well.

He drove to that area near the evening when it was dark, and deliberately went to the nearby supermarket to buy vegetables first.

The supermarket also seemed to have been ransacked by zombies, and many shelves were emptied.He grabbed a large box of mineral water, as well as bread, semi-finished products, and instant noodles. I guess the old guy wouldn't know how to make anything that was too delicate, so he bought the easiest to fill his stomach.

He squatted on the ground, digging out the last box of mineral water from the innermost part of the shelf, and squatting beside him was a big brother who was going to grab the box of mineral water from him.

The buddy stared at him for a long while, and finally couldn't help but say: "Hello, sir, you look familiar, are you... who is that? You were on the satellite TV show last weekend, right? Looks like it."

"Does it look like it?" Pei Yan hummed, and continued to stretch out her arms to pull the water box, and pulled it out, "It looks a lot like it?"

"You are right!" The passer-by smiled at him, "It's snowing, and you also come out to buy vegetables?"

"Yeah, buy vegetables, what do you eat if you don't buy vegetables?" Pei Yan said.

"I thought that someone like you would definitely not go out to buy groceries. If you order takeaway, let your assistant arrange it, and it must be from a five-star hotel?" the passer-by said.

Pei Yan almost told the other party that I came out to do social practice in my senior year, and I came to this supermarket to do social research.I think it's too ridiculous, don't pretend to be tender, it's been two years since I graduated from university.

"The weather is bad, so I come out to work as a social worker, volunteer labor, care for the elderly, and show love to the widowed and lonely elderly." After he finished speaking, he was very happy.How noble, though nobility is mixed with some important personal feelings.

He signed autographs for a few passers-by who liked him, and I don't know if these people have become fans of him since then.

Some people wanted to take pictures of him, so he hurriedly said, "Don't take pictures if I dress like a bear and it will affect my image", and ran away with a cart of mineral water and instant noodles.Before checking out, I even picked up a bag of freshly made and sold steamed buns...

The snowflakes were flying, and the roads in the alleys were covered with thick snow.

When the weather comes out like this, it really means that I have a little motivation and feelings in my heart.

The door of Uncle Zhuang's house was not locked. He carried his things and went in as soon as he pushed the door.Things were piled up on the dining table, and I stepped on some messy cardboard boxes and packaging on the floor, and entered the bedroom to find someone.The old man seems to be well and at leisure.

Uncle Zhuang was sitting alone in front of the window, his outline was a slightly shaking black silhouette, muttering something softly, and rummaging through the things in the box.

"Hey, uncle, I brought you some food. Are you hungry? Have you eaten yet? I bought food." Pei Yan stood at the door of the room.

"Eat?" Uncle Zhuang looked up at him and confirmed that it was the kid named Pei, his eyes lit up immediately, "Cake?"

"Ah?" Pei Yan was taken aback, "Are you still thinking about the cake?"

"Ah." Zhuang Wenlong stared at him, nodded, "Missing, cake."

"The last time your son bought you, you ate all of them?" Pei Yan asked.

Is it the year of the monkey?When Uncle Zhuang mentioned his favorite food, he was not confused at all, and gave him a look of "Don't come to coax me, you boy".

"I'll go..." Pei Yan laughed out loud, "Hey, you miss that cake, you should have said earlier, if you had said earlier, I wouldn't carry other things, I just went to buy that cake! I also carried a bunch of them, tired It's waiting for me... just wait, I still have a lot of things downstairs that I haven't brought up yet."

Uncle Zhuang stood in front of the window, staring at Pei Yan's back as he turned and hurried out.

Never expected that Mr. Pei would come, no one would come to visit him, except for the nanny hired by his son, who came here three times a week, who else would come.The nanny was a nearby family, an aunt in her 50s who came out to do housekeeping, and came over several times a week to clean and cook for him.Uncle Zhuang reckoned that he had a very bad attitude towards the nanny and auntie, and was annoyed by whether she liked to come or not. Anyway, I made sure that the old man would not starve to death.

Pei Yan went downstairs again and brought up boxes of mineral water and instant noodles. There was no place to put them, so they piled them under the dining table.

Uncle Zhuang staggered out of the room, his brain seemed to be stuck in a certain position suddenly, and he figured out who it was.

"You, Pei...Pei what...you are Jiahuang's who..." Uncle Zhuang stared at him.

"Which one am I, Jiahuang? What's the matter with you?" Pei Yan panted heavily and straightened her waist.

"I don't want your stuff, take it away, take it away..." Uncle Zhuang waved his hand in agitation, and he wanted to keep his integrity in front of the food.

"Take it away? I moved it up, you should have said it earlier!" Pei Yan said.

"Hit me, Zhang asked you to kill me? He asked you to buy it..." Uncle Zhuang's eyes darkened.

"Forget it, Zhang Shaochi didn't let me come, he didn't buy you food, you treat him like a charity...he's stingy." Pei Yan replied, watching Uncle Zhuang limp He rushed over with his feet, as if he was about to throw something, and wanted to roll up his sleeves to start a war with him.

"Stop for me!

"Do you dare to come?!" Pei Yan raised his finger and pointed at the other party, as if using a body-holding technique, directly immobilizing his uncle in the middle of the room.

"Why don't you do this with me, and I'll tell you clearly that your beating and scolding can only be used against your own son, because he doesn't fight back every time, it's such a bad habit! Don't want to use this set of work to deal with your uncle, I, I, yes, sure, return, hand."

Pei Yan rolled up her sleeves, revealing the veins on her forearms: "Hit, I'm still afraid of you?"

"Need a weapon?"

"Come on, use this to hit." He picked up a baguette from a pile of bread on the table and threw it to the other party, "You are old, I will leave you empty-handed, you think you have a little Can you beat me? Heh, later I will make you roll on your knees and beg for mercy, or push you into the bathroom to hold the toilet, so don’t feel ashamed.”

Pei Yan shook her shoulders and moved her neck joints.He can make a "click" sound in his joints.

Then, he assumed the posture of Israeli martial arts and hooked his hands at the opponent: Come on, fight.

"..."

Uncle Zhuang was really taken aback.

When tossing his son before, he never met such a kid who could talk back and provoke, and dared to fight back.

Uncle Zhuang was still holding a baguette in his hand.

The old man lowered his head, squeezed it, smelled it, and frowned: "This is not delicious, it's too hard, and it hurts my teeth, so I can't bite it."

"Too hard? There are a lot of things. I bought you soft ones. You can eat those soft ones." Pei Yan said.

"Hard, I don't like to eat..." Uncle Zhuang said and threw the baguette back.

Pei Yan sneered in his heart, the old man is not stupid, he is afraid that he will lose face if he is beaten?She actually found a step for herself and then slipped down, what a shame.

"The stairs are full of snow, and the snow footprints are very slippery." Pei Yan complained while tidying up in the living room. Anyway, this job can't be done in vain. I slipped a lot, and my waist was stretched! My waist is almost useless, and it is almost the same as your son's waist."

Uncle Zhuang stooped to look on and under the table to see if there was anything to eat.

Pei Yan placed the freshly baked steamed buns and a few packs of mustard greens on the table: "You can eat whatever you want. I often eat steamed buns and mustard greens on the set."

Uncle Zhuang was really hungry, and he started to eat steamed buns and pickled mustard.

"Sure, you can eat it if you like it, and you can enjoy it." Pei Yan said, "It's snowing so hard outside, and the takeaways are home for a rest, so you can only eat steamed buns and noodles."

There was still half a barrel of oil beside the kitchen stove, so he wondered: "Do you want to eat fried steamed buns? I actually like fried steamed buns. When I was young, my mother always made fried steamed buns for me. They are delicious. Do you want them?" "

Uncle Zhuang was very interested and nodded: "Yes."

Uncle Pei then took off his down jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and poured oil into the pan.I also beat a few eggs, wrapped the steamed bun slices with egg liquid, and fried them.

That's how Zhuang Xiao's father made him work so hard.If Brother Xiao hadn't broken up with him, the two of them must have met their parents now, and they have obtained approval, and they are together justifiably. Isn't this person in front of him his own father-in-law?My father-in-law has such a rotten character, what else can he complain about, he just waits on him with a smile on his face.

The aroma of fried steamed buns with eggs and the smell of fireworks in the world came from the kitchen.

"Okay..." Uncle Zhuang was circling around the kitchen door, his arrogance gone, he was listless, and his eyes were all on Pei Yan.

"What are you doing?" Pei Yan asked, "You want to praise me?"

The old man snorted.

Pei Yan is just looking for something to say when he wants to curry favor with someone, he is eloquent.He felt that the other party was also very unlucky and pitiful.Furthermore, it is the mentality of loving the house and the crow, cheap.

"If you want to praise me, just say it. Compliment me a few more words. I like to listen to good things. Especially next time your son calls you overseas to ask you what you ate and whether it tastes good. Remember to mention me." Name! Remember, my surname is Pei and my name is Yan, and my name is handsome. I must say that I bought you steamed buns with mustard, and I personally cooked for you to fry the steamed buns, which were delicious!"