implication

Lin Chen clutched his wound and staggered along the side of the road. The wound was not deep, but the blood kept bubbling. Small puffs gushed out from between his fingers, stained his clothes red, and dripped onto the ground.

But Lin Chen didn't care, he just walked along the road in a daze, not knowing where he was going.

Occasionally he stopped, and when the wind blew, he would come back to his senses, look around, but couldn't tell the direction, and it was pitch black everywhere.

Where should we go?Not sure.What should be done?have no idea.

Because he has nothing to do with Ning Fei anymore, he feels lifeless.

Looking around, but didn't recognize where it was, Lin Chen raised his foot and continued walking aimlessly.

Another gust of wind passed by and made Lin Qiao stop. This time the wind was a bit stronger, as if someone had knocked him on the shoulder, causing Lin Qiao to lean on the railing and stop.He couldn't stand being hit by the wind, and when he tilted his body, more blood flowed from the wound.The blood flowed so much that even the lips were trembling, the weather was cold and the heart was cold, and the upper and lower teeth were so cold that they stumbled.This time Lin Chen stopped for a long time, because his body could no longer support him, so he stopped and realized that he was on a bridge.

At night, the river is blown up by the wind and the small waves are not as loud as the waves when they hit the river bank, but there are also thin and thin sounds like wind chimes, accompanied by the thin moonlight on the river, which is cold and desolate.

Lin Chen stood on the bridge in a daze, looking at the middle of the river in a daze, there was a moon reflected there, an uneven moon, and Ning Fei's face was reflected in the moon, handsome and unrestrained, it was his current appearance, with a big The look of a star.

Lin Chi looked at the moon reflected in the middle of the river and smiled, and with his smile, Ning Fei in that moon gradually changed, to his previous appearance, still handsome, but he was just a fool But he was smiling at Lin Qiu, stretched out his hand, and said in a doting and complaining tone, "Hurry up, you're always so slow, you're going to be late for work."

Lin Chen on the bridge opened his mouth and was about to respond, but a step too late, Ning Fei's hand was already taken by someone, it was his past self, with a baby fat face, pouting at the complaining Ning Fei, Ning Fei He stopped complaining and stretched out his hand to mess with his head.

Lin Chen stood on the bridge with his mouth half open and watched them pass by, but what Ning Fei had just said to him was in his ears.

I don't want to have nostalgia for you anymore.

The only one who misses the past is himself.Standing on the bridge, Lin Chi was weeping, looking at the two people in the moon, they turned their backs, as if they were about to leave.

"Wait!" Lin Chi yelled loudly.

The two people in the moon turned their heads, and suddenly they became like they were when they were children.Ning Fei, who looks like a child, has a unique stubbornness, and Lin Qiu, who looks like a child, is full of flesh.

"Wait!" Lin Qiao leaned forward grabbing the railing, not hesitating to press on the wound, and leaned out of the bridge with most of his body, "Wait!"

The childlike Ning Fei said to him, "Goodbye, Lin Chi."

The chubby Lin Can, who looked like a child, also said to him, "Goodbye, Lin Can."

Then they turned their heads back together and disappeared in the ripples of the wind.Lin Qu on the Duliu Bridge shouted to persuade him to stay, "Wait, don't go!"

The wind lifted the corners of his clothes and messed up his hair, his vision gradually became blurred, and even the moon reflected in the water could not be seen clearly, but his ears could hear clearly, and they could hear the past echoing in the night saying goodbye .The echo continued, and it stopped suddenly. The ring fell into the river, like the terminator of this life. Lin Qu lowered his head, only seeing the splash of water when the ring fell into the river.

"Lin Chi!"

Meng Yi, who rushed over, yelled loudly at the bridge, one step too late, and the large splash of water accompanied his yelling. After a long time, the river surface never subsided, as if it was the last dirge, only a mournful lingering sound remained.

Ning Fei was woken up directly by the sun in the morning.Opening one eye slightly, there was no tile to cover the roof, and he saw a large expanse of sky.

Standing up from the beach chair, covering her forehead, looking at the swimming pool with all kinds of wine bottles and swimsuits floating in front of her, Ning Fei tried her best to calm down and recall what happened last night.

The event ended last night, and the brand owner left him to discuss the later cooperation with Brother Miao. Ning Fei had no intention of dealing with it. Brother Miao kept talking beside him. Ning Fei's new song became popular, and the brand owner decided to hold a pool party.

"The new song is on fire?" Ning Fei didn't remember that he was forced to sing a slobbery song recently, so he just looked at Brother Miao blankly.

"Well, it can't be considered a new song. It hasn't been packaged yet. I'll let you into the studio in two days to polish that song."

Ning Fei still listened in a daze.Without knowing where he was, he was brought to the party scene, and the welcoming crowd rushed forward. The bodyguard unexpectedly did not protect Ning Fei from strangers as usual.But it's true, since he and Ning Yan had turned against each other like that, the bodyguards he arranged naturally didn't have much dedication.

Ning Fei couldn't stand being squeezed by the crowd, and saw a thin and small figure in a trance, which looked familiar. Because of the accident where he misidentified the person before, Ning Fei didn't rush to reach out this time.When the loud electronic sounds on the stage stopped and another song was played, Ning Fei was stunned and didn't pay attention to the familiar figure in the crowd.It was a song I wrote six years ago, for Lin Chen.

He was pushed onto the stage, and a three-tiered celebration cake was pushed in front of him. Everyone chanted his name enthusiastically and enthusiastically.However, standing on the stage, Ning Fei couldn't empathize with him. The song on the stereo drowned out everyone's shouts, and only loneliness and loneliness swept over him.

Someone asked him, "What were you thinking when you wrote this song?"

When he was writing this song, he was thinking about Lin Chi, thinking about their meeting, their heart-to-heart exchange, all in a strong rainy day.He thought about how Lin Chi wrote this song, but the process was not smooth. When the inspiration stagnated, he could see Lin Chi sitting on the sofa with his legs crossed when he turned around. It made him feel happy, so happy that even the rainstorm I feel that life is interesting without going out.Unfortunately, their last parting was also on a rainy day when they were caught off guard.

Ning Fei couldn't remember clearly what happened later, because he was drunk, still a painful and unconscious drunk, or because Lin Chi appeared in his dream.

"Another day."

Because of this party, Ning Fei's plan to take sleeping pills and sleep for a long time has been postponed.He rubbed his temples and fumbled for the can of sleeping pills he carried with him.Ning Fei suddenly panicked.

The potion was still there, but something else was missing.Ning Fei stood up nervously, and touched himself up and down, "Where's the ring? Where's my ring?" He looked towards the opposite pool, wondering, "Did you fall into the pool last night?"

Even though he was dry, he couldn't find the ring. Ning Fei went to the doctor in a hurry, so he wanted to plunge into the swimming pool to find his ring.Just halfway through the lift, there was a crisp sound, and something fell to the ground.Ning Fei looked down at his feet, squatted down with a frown, and fixedly looked at the broken chain on the ground, "Lin Qiu?"

This is the chain he gave Lin Chi before.

Ning Fei raised his head and quickly glanced around, "Lin Qiu, are you here?"

No one answered.Ning Fei picked up the chain on the ground and wanted to find Lin Chi, but Shui Xin's phone call interrupted him.

"Hey, Ning Fei, did you..."

The voice on the other side sounded very strange, making Ning Fei impatient. He grabbed the chain and was anxious to find Lin Chen, "If you have something to say, hang up if you have nothing to do."

"Ning Fei!" Shui Xin hurriedly stopped Ning Fei on the other end of the phone, "Didn't you meet Lin Chen last night?"

Ning Fei's chest felt tight suddenly, and he felt something was wrong.

"No? Did he go to you? Is he still with you now?"

"He's not here. Lin Chen disappeared. His parents called the police. His last call was to me."

"Lin Chi disappeared?" Ning Fei's chest began to hurt, "How could he disappear?"

"He ran out of the house to look for you."

"But I didn't meet him. Where's the police? Did the police find him?"

"The police said that a body was salvaged from the river, and his parents were rushing to identify the body."

The mobile phone in Ning Fei's hand fell to the ground together with the chain, and the broken screen of the mobile phone dropped to the ground, and the call was not terminated, Shui Xin kept shouting on the phone, "Ning Fei? Ning Fei!"

Ning Fei arrived at the morgue one step later, and happened to meet Lin Chen's parents at the door.Before they went in to confirm, Lin Mu was crying against the wall, out of breath, and Leng Ming silently patted her on the back.Lin Mu rushed over in a hurry, and as soon as he reached the door, he looked at the corpse covered by the white cloth, then turned back, just beating his chest at the door, no one dared to go in and pull the white cloth to look at the people below.

"How could this be?" Lin Mu cried hard, beating his chest harder, "How could this be? How could my Mu Mu be like this?"

When Ning Fei arrived, he saw the pair of heartbroken parents. He passed the two of them and stood at the door. Seeing the shocking whiteness, his whole body seemed to be struck by lightning, and he blurted out like Lin Mu, "how so?"

After speaking, both feet started mechanically, and his eyes were fixed on the white cloth and he moved forward. He didn't stay at the door like Lin Chen's parents did not dare to enter.Because Ning Fei believed, believed that the person covered under that piece of white cloth would not be Lin Que, because he didn't believe it, he forced himself to lift his leaden legs to confirm.

But in the end, he stopped when he was two steps away, and he suddenly became frightened. The closer he walked, the more he found that this figure resembled Lin Qiu's.

"Impossible, it won't be you."

"It's you!" Lin Mu rushed up suddenly, grabbed Ning Fei's collar, and wailed, "It's you! You give me back my Mumu! You give me back my Mumu! "

"Lin Mu, calm down!" Leng Ming hugged her shoulders, trying to take Lin Mu aside who was holding on to Ning Fei, but Lin Mu didn't listen, and after pushing Leng Ming away with his backhand, he turned his head hard A slap on Ning Fei's face.

This slap was ruthless, but Ning Fei still stood still, not even turning his head, but the palm print on his face was vivid.

"Do you know when I was the saddest?" Lin Mu yelled at Ning Fei like he lost his mind and went crazy, "It was the time when Lin Chi just woke up, he couldn't remember, he couldn't remember anything. He Mentioned in the diary that I was 'the woman who called herself my mother'." Lin Mu slammed the diary on Ning Fei's face, but she was still not relieved, she rushed up to Ning Fei and beat and beat , "I am his mother. He has been closest to me since he was a child, but when he woke up from a car accident, he said that I was a woman who claimed to be his mother! All this is because of you! It is all because of you! It is you who killed me My Mumu got into a car accident, otherwise he wouldn't be estranged with me, it was you who caused it and you are the one who caused it!"

"What?" Ning Fei grabbed Lin Mu's hand who was beating him, "He had a car accident?"

Lin Mu tried his best to turn away Ning Fei and grabbed his hand, "You did it! You made him chase the car, otherwise nothing would happen to my Mu Mu."

"I...I don't know." Ning Fei let go of his hand, and let Lin Mu beat and curse himself as if resigned to his fate, but his eyes drifted to the white spot, wanting to take a good look at him from head to toe.When he saw the feet, Ning Fei frowned, and the white cloth was cut short, just exposing the feet. Ning Fei frowned and looked carefully, and his breath became short of breath. After seeing it twice, he finally smiled. up.

"Haha."

Lin Mu stopped, staring at Ning Fei who was laughing with wide eyes.

"Hahahahahaha."

"You're still laughing!" Lin Mu was anxious, and the hand that pointed at Ning Fei's nose couldn't help trembling, "You're still laughing!"

Fighting to die with Ning Fei, Lin Mu rushed forward and wanted to grab his neck, but it was Lin Yao who rushed over to stop him.

"Auntie, calm down!"

Lin Mu couldn't calm down, she turned her head to call Leng Ming for help, but Leng Ming sat on the ground lifelessly.In the end, it was Yin Jin who helped him get rid of Lin Mu.During this time, Ning Fei kept laughing as if possessed by an evil spirit.

Lin Yao asked him, "Ning Fei! Are you happy to see that our family has broken up?"

Shui Xin and Jiang Ze came with Lin Yao Yinjin, Lin Yao Yinjin pulled Lin Mu away, Shui Xin and Jiang Ze pulled Ning Fei away.

Shui Xin looked at the smiling Ning Fei and frowned, "Ning Fei! Look at the occasion, is this the time to laugh?"

Ning Fei didn't care if he was just laughing, and when he had laughed enough, he pointed to the feet exposed under the white cloth, "That's not Lin Chu, that's not Lin Chu."

Ning Fei didn't smile gloatingly, he smiled because he was glad that the person lying there was not Lin Chen.He recognized, recognized Lin Qiu's feet, Lin Qiu's feet were short and fat, different from this pair of long and thin feet.

Hearing what he said, Lin Yao hurried forward and lifted the white cloth. He was taken aback for a moment and then said happily, "Auntie, it's not him, it's not Lin Qiu. He's not our Mumu."

Lin Mu wiped away his tears, got up from the ground, and pulled Leng Ming to look up together. The three of them all smiled, "It's not Mumu, it's not our Mumu."

After a short period of joy, Lin Yao woke up first, "If it wasn't Mu Mu, where did Mu Mu go?"

After her reminder, Lin Mu turned around first, "Look for it! I must find my Mu Mu!"

In a small room, various emotions of joy, anger, sorrow, and joy are staged in turn.

The Lin family left first, Yin Jin followed along and hurried to find Lin Chu, when he passed by Ning Fei with blank eyes, he stopped and sighed at Ning Fei, "I don't blame my aunt for being so excited to you. During that first waking period, his memory resets every morning he wakes up. He's stuck in the same day."

Ning Fei slowly raised his eyes to look at Yin Jin opposite him.

"About three or four years ago, he finally woke up from the memory loop. Everyone was very excited and wondered what happened to make him wake up. But the car accident had a great impact on him, and his cognitive ability He didn’t fully recover, and he always hesitated when he called his parents. He didn’t have that kind of concept. In those few years, his uncles and aunts and his life were very depressed. The strange thing is that he fainted and woke up at your door Afterwards, his cognition seemed to recover, and he finally stopped hesitating to call his parents. Uncles and aunts were very happy, they thought they had finally returned to the old days of family harmony. It’s a pity..."

Yin Jin didn't say what he said later, he just sighed more and turned away in front of Ning Fei, but Ning Fei understood what he wanted to say later.

"I caused their family to fall apart."

"Ning Fei!" Shui Xin, who was holding him up all the time, wanted to say that was not the case, but he had no confidence, because it was true that Lin Chi disappeared after running to find Ning Fei last night.

Ning Fei raised his arm to signal Shui Xin to let go, but Shui Xin was worried about him, until Ning Fei glanced at him, Shui Xin carefully let go.

Ning Fei first bent down and picked up the diary that had just been smashed on his face, patted the ashes on it, and walked two steps forward to the mortuary table.

Shui Xin and Jiang Ze followed behind Ning Fei. After realizing that the mortuary was very cold, Jiang Ze rubbed his arms and turned his head around Ning Fei's cover to look at the corpse exposed to the light. It was so horrible, Jiang Ze urged Ning Fei, "Since it's not Lin Qiu and we don't know him, let's go quickly."

Ning Fei looked down at the hands of the corpse, "Help him arrange his funeral."

"You recognize him?"

Ning Fei looked at the hand with the missing thumb, and gave a soft "hmm".All the grievances and grievances in the past disappeared with a soft sound. Ning Fei helped Fang Qiang arrange the funeral. Thank you. Thank you for lying here instead of him. Congratulations, I hope he is safe and returns home soon.

After everything was arranged, Shui Xin and Jiang Ze sent Ning Fei home.

As soon as they entered the house, seeing the mess inside, Shui Xin and Jiang Ze frowned and looked at each other in unison.

Jiang Ze suggested to him, "Ning Fei, would you like to stay with us for a few days?"

They were all worried about Ning Fei's state.

Ning Fei shook her head and sat on the living room floor, leaning against the sofa, "I'm fine, I want to be alone."

"But..." Shui Xin wanted to say more, but Jiang Ze stopped him, and changed his proposal, "Then let's clean up the house for you."

"No need. I will call the housekeeping aunt to help clean up."

The two were still worried, "Then..."

"I'm tired and want to sleep. You guys should go back too. Let's talk about it later when we wake up. Don't worry, I'll be fine. Hasn't Lin Chen been found yet?"

Looking at the exhausted Ning Fei, Shui Xin and Jiang Ze also felt that they should not put pressure on him, and asked a few more words, "Then you must call us when you wake up." After that, the two left .

After the people left, the house became quiet again, only the gurgle of latte was heard, Ning Fei dug out the things in his pocket, the bottle of sleeping pills was put on the coffee table, the original plan was broken, he couldn’t sleep peacefully Yes, because he felt sorry for Lin Chenliang.

Latte was jumping up and down the room, and the room was in such a mess that there was no room for him to get down.Ning Fei looked at the TV cabinet on the opposite side, stood up with strength, and picked up the photo frames that had fallen on the floor one by one, and arranged them without turning them upside down.After tidying up briefly, he sat back down again, took out the diary from his arms, and opened it carefully.

"October 10st, the weather was fine. But they said today is not October 31st, it's already January. I don't believe it, the mid-term exam is coming soon, how could it be January? But everyone said to me It was January, and I was very worried. I changed from worrying about the midterm exam to worrying about the final exam. They said that I had a car accident and became like this. What should I do if I miss two months of classes? It’s uncomfortable to lie like this The doctor said that I wake up every day and say today is October 10st, so he asked me to write a diary, so that I can wake up every day and review what happened yesterday.”

"October 10st, the weather was fine. But they said today is not October 31st, it's already January. I don't believe it. When I opened the diary and saw the first entry, I felt very strange."

"January 1th, the weather was cloudy. After reading the first two diaries, it was very uncomfortable. Why do I clearly remember that today is October 13st? Today is nothing special, and I am still lying down. The woman who called herself my mother, to me I couldn't stand the way of asking me about my health. She asked me if I was hungry or cold too many times. I couldn't cope with such enthusiasm, especially when she was holding a urinal to relieve me. I felt very embarrassed. But I can't help it, I can't move while lying down."

"January 1th, the weather was cloudy. But I still feel that today is October 14st. When I opened my eyes, I saw that woman touching my forehead. I was not used to it, but she called herself my mother and flipped through the front page. Diary, she is indeed my mother, just like the foreword of the diary, she is warm to me, just like the foreword of the diary, I feel embarrassed to face her enthusiasm."

"January 1th, the weather was light and rainy. This day on the calendar is January 15th, but I clearly remember that today should be Halloween. I have adapted a lot to this mother. Looking through the records in the previous diary, I said that she is my mother. Mother. Then her husband should be my father, which is a little different from this mother. He didn’t always emphasize that he is my father. Getting along with him made me a little uncomfortable. When they changed shifts, I happened to have In the face of this father, I couldn’t ask for it. I could only endure it. I overestimated myself. After lying down for too long, my muscles were beyond my control. I didn’t bear it for long, and I wet the bed. Embarrassed, ashamed and sorry , changed the bedding and clothes, and apologized softly to the mother who came over. She gently told me that it was okay, and I asked her if I would not be able to take care of myself like this in the future. Then the mother cried until Only then did I realize that I might have been like this all my life. I felt indescribable. I didn’t say much all day, but kept my eyes open until midnight. At twelve o’clock at night, this mother touched my forehead to persuade me. Don't think too much about it, go to bed early. After I wake up, I may forget what happened today again."

"January 1th. Today is no different. My mood is the same as I wrote in the previous diary. The day is full of ups and downs like a roller coaster. When I wake up in the morning, I wonder why today is not October 16st, and then I get used to getting along with my family. Today I was caught by them. I took a diaper and wanted to refuse, but my immobile body made it impossible for me to refuse. Maybe this is the best way. At least compared to a urinal, diapers can reduce the number of troubles to others. Only by closing your eyes and letting them Put me in a diaper. Shame greeted me as usual. I still accept my fate before I go to bed, and I still won’t remember it tomorrow.”

Ning Fei flipped through each chapter, and at the end, the diary became shorter and shorter.

"On January 1, lying down, after changing the diapers at noon, the doctor just came to make rounds and asked me to adjust my mood. He told me that everything would be fine, but I felt that he was lying to me because he didn't know that he was wearing a diaper. Not wet feeling."

"January 1, lying down, changed 18 diapers today."

"On January 1, I lay down and didn't want to eat because I didn't want to change diapers too many times."

"January 1, lying down, I hate looking at hospital ceilings."

"January 1, ceiling, hate hate hate hate hate hate hate!"

When I turned to the next diary, it didn't even have the date, but only three shocking words, "I want to die."

Seeing this, Ning Fei covered his mouth and cried bitterly. He didn't know that Lin Chi was lying on the hospital bed and recovering alone.After this diary, the next diary has been three months.

"April 4. The weather is sunny and spring is here. I can turn over."

After three months of this short line of writing, I don't know what happened in the middle, so Lin Chen started to write the diary again.But no matter what he went through, Ning Fei knew that it must be a very difficult day.

The following diaries are very plain, recording his sparse and ordinary life on the hospital bed.

On May 5, the weather was overcast. After communication, they finally agreed that I would stop using diapers. The doctor said that I could eat normally.Today the flesh under the plaster is sore and itchy.

On June 6th, the weather was fine, and I could sit up. The weather outside the window was very good. Sitting in the room, I could imagine that it seemed very hot outside, which was not at all like the weather in the early autumn of October.The father came in with a sweaty face, carrying a watermelon, and said he wanted to squeeze juice for me, but another woman called my mother disagreed, fearing that I would have diarrhea.Going to the bathroom is still a hassle for me.

On July 7, the weather was heavy rain.I want to try to solve my physical needs by myself, and ask people who call themselves my parents, hoping that they can help me go to the toilet and let me try to solve it by myself.They rejected me, hoping that tomorrow when I look through the diary, I can think of this incident and communicate with them in order to fight for my physical needs.

On September 9, they finally agreed to my request. I would be carried to the toilet by that father. Occasionally, the mother would carry me to the toilet when the father was away.Unlike the silent father, this mother would sigh when she carried me to the toilet, and she would say that I was too light, even she could lift me up.This time she didn't cry, she just sighed, and the reason why she didn't cry was that the doctor said that I could remove the plaster cast soon.Sigh because, my head is still bad.

On October 10st, the weather was fine, and it finally came to October 31st, which was the day I thought every day when I opened my eyes, and today finally came.The only difference is that when I open my eyes every day, I don’t know which year October 10st is, and I am still trapped in a certain day in the past.Even I wonder, why am I always stuck on Halloween?When I was doing cognitive training in the afternoon, I asked the doctor, but the doctor couldn't answer.Because this answer is only known to me in the past, but I can't figure it out now.The doctor comforted me and received cognitive training, maybe one day I will know the reason.I doubt it.Because I have been doing cognitive training for a long time, I don’t understand the point of doing it. The doctor just teaches me to read "Dad, Mom, you are a family" every day like a child.

On November 11th, the weather was foggy. I got up early to eat and read my diary. I did rehabilitation training in the morning and cognitive training in the afternoon.Still no progress today.

On December 12st, the weather was cloudy. I got up early to eat and read my diary. I did rehabilitation training in the morning. I was able to walk a short distance with crutches. I did cognitive training in the afternoon.Still no progress today.

On January 1st, the weather was cloudy, and a year passed unknowingly. I have not been out of the hospital in this year, and the diary is full of my recurring life.I'm still on October 1st.

On February 2rd, the weather was fine, I got up early to eat, and looked back at yesterday in my diary.Rehabilitation training in the morning and cognitive training in the afternoon.There was no progress and it felt like there was no point in continuing to journal.

On March 3th, the weather was fine, I got up early for dinner, and looked back at yesterday in my diary.Rehabilitation training in the morning and cognitive training in the afternoon.

On March 3th, the weather was fine, I got up early for dinner, and looked back at yesterday in my diary.Rehabilitation training in the morning and cognitive training in the afternoon.

March 3th, drizzle, get up early to eat, look through the diary to review yesterday.Rehabilitation training in the morning and cognitive training in the afternoon.

……

Ning Fei flipped through many pages in succession, except for the weather, nothing changed in the content. After a year, the memory did not recover, and Lin Chen seemed to have lost his fighting spirit.

I read more than half of the diary. In the past few years, he has not written many diaries. Most of them are one line a day without any change. It is said that the diary is more like a record sheet, which records the days without ups and downs mechanically.This record has been maintained for more than a year.

Ning Fei stopped turning over half of the diary suddenly, because the content of the diary finally changed.

On October 10, the weather was rainy.Even the doctor sighed today, and asked me with his forehead, I feel that your heart knot is hindering you.I shook my head, not because I didn't understand what he was talking about, but because I didn't even know what the knot was.The doctor took a deep breath, intending to continue the cognitive training we do every day.dad, mom.The one who carries you out of bed every day and pushes the wheelchair to take you out for a walk is called Leng Ming. That is your father. The one who carefully feeds you porridge every day and stays with you in bed at night is called Lin Mu. She is your mother.You are family, understand?I nodded and shook my head, I know all this, but I don't know how to connect it.The doctor told me that family members are connected by love, and you will think of a certain person because of love, specific to his appearance and name.He has said this many times, but I still don't understand.What is it like to love that?Doctors have always said that love is warmth, careful care, and the selflessness of parents.But I don't feel it, I just feel awkward and overwhelmed with them.

In the evening, a stranger suddenly came to my room, he introduced himself with a smile, I am Yin Jin, you don't know me anymore?Obviously, I was on duty two days ago and came here to see you.

He said he was my friend, but unfortunately I can't remember.Not to mention friends, even the people who are said to be my parents, I have to check the diary every morning to confirm.But it's nice to be able to talk to other people, some things I can't talk to my parents.

I listened to Yinjin tell me what I was like in the past.Listening to him boasting about his past self, it feels like he made it up. Otherwise, why would he stop talking sometimes, as if he was deliberately avoiding something, but in fact he was lying and found that his preface didn’t match up. Afterwords, such mistakes are full of omissions.But I don't care, it's good to hear him talk about a different self. When he was tired of talking, he watched the scenery outside the window with me, and I asked what I hadn't figured out.

I asked him, what do you think love is?Is it really as warm and selfless as the doctor said?

Yin Jin looked at me with her chin propped up and said, maybe love is not warm and selfless, it may be the most selfish and painful thing.Like I'm jealous of him.

I asked who he was, Yin Jin didn't mention it and left in a panic.That night I sat on the bed alone thinking about what Yin Jin said, wondering whether love is warmth or pain, whether it is selfless or selfish, and finally thought of the man Yin Jin mentioned.Mentioning him, Yin Jin said jealousy, suddenly, I could feel that feeling of jealousy, as if I had been jealous for someone.Then my chest started to hurt, it started to hurt when I thought of jealousy, it hurt like tightening.For a moment, all the selfish suspicions in love surged up in my heart, and gradually took on a vague shape, and I saw the figure of a person.

On November 11st, the weather was fine.I'm finally out of the time loop.

Ning Fei's chest heaved violently, he couldn't continue to read the following content, and followed the diary to review the days when Lin Jian was in the car accident and was hospitalized, his heart ached even more, and he hated himself even more, condemning himself for being in the hospital. Lin Chen did those excessive things.

The diary was closed, Ning Fei bent her legs, shedding tears with her forehead resting on her knees.Latte came over and kept hugging him, Ning Fei looked up at him, sobbing, "I'm so bad! I'm so bad!"

Latte barked noncommittally, still arching Ning Fei's calf, begging Ning Fei for food after being hungry for a long time.Ning Fei had no choice but to pull out a few packs of Miao Xian Bao from the coffee table in front of him, intending to unpack it first to put the latte on his stomach, but when he pulled it out, a piece of paper fell to the ground.

It was written by Lin Chen, Ning Fei picked up the piece of paper.

On April 11, the weather was cloudy.

It was the day they met at the racecourse.Ning Fei didn't know that Lin Chen also wrote a diary that day, and the house was messed up by him, and he never noticed that there was a diary written by Lin Chen in the cat snacks stuffed under the coffee table.

On November 11, the weather was cloudy.This morning I want to try to go out alone to see a doctor in the hospital, Leng Ming, um... Dad disagrees, he is worried that I will go out alone, it is Lin Mu... it is my mother who persuaded him, and said with a smile I believe our Mu Mu can do it.They called me Mu Mu and said it was my nickname. I am not very sensitive to this name. In fact, I am not even very sensitive to the big name Lin Chen.

I went out smoothly and arrived at the hospital to see the doctor. Everything was fine.But I didn't really want to go home, so I sat alone for a while, and I didn't expect to meet Yin Jin.He is very nice, but he is too enthusiastic. I am afraid of strangers, and I am always at a loss for people who are too enthusiastic.But Yinjin said that she would take me to ride a horse, as long as she didn't go home, I would be happy.

I didn't expect to meet Ning Fei when I arrived at the racecourse.Think about it, I haven't seen him for many years.He has changed, a little different from when he was a child, and he feels more handsome, but the way he looks at me is very strange.At that time, I didn't know whether it was a good thing or a bad thing to see him again.He took me back to his residence. I was very happy and wanted to have a good time with him, but I felt that he didn't think so. He was always dull and silent, and his movements were very strange.I think it's because we haven't seen each other for many years, and the relationship between the two is a little strange.But if you want to speak unfamiliar words, he actually came in and wanted to help me change my shoes. Is it polite?I do not understand.

What is even more incomprehensible is that Ning Fei suddenly became strange, he suddenly pushed me onto the sofa, this kind of him made me feel scared, and my heart was always trembling and painful.Especially when he kissed me.When he kissed me, my chest hurt especially badly. I wanted to run, but when I ran to the door, I realized that the door was actually locked by him.

Ning Fei like this really scares me.

Later I dodged him, he seemed to have something to go out.I thought I could go if he left, but he locked me in the house.Can't figure out why he does this.

Today he is very strange, and my heart is also very strange, it has been hurting and I can't breathe.I just remembered what the doctor said, that love connects family members, and what Yinjin told me, that love may be a kind of selfish and narrow-minded thing.A feeling from a long time ago suddenly stuck in my heart, and the figure in the dream appeared before my eyes again.That figure resembled Ning Fei who had grown up.

It feels like something is missing, but I can't remember.

After reading this diary, Ning Fei's tears had already dried up. He looked up at the photo frame on the opposite TV cabinet, saw them smiling and facing the camera, choking and calling Lin Qiu's name in the dark and quiet room, "Lin Chi."

"Huh?" Hearing someone shout, Lin Chi turned his head.

Meng Yi smiled at him, and called him one more time, "Yuanhao."

"Yeah." Lin Chen answered him.