Suicide

Cambridge, a prestigious school that has gone through a hundred years of vicissitudes, does not look as dilapidated as imagined. Some buildings do look old, but they have accumulated a rich culture, and they don’t look so incompatible with other modern buildings. On the contrary, it is unique.What annoys me is that too many modern buildings, red wall tiles, tinted glass, dazzle the eyes and look particularly upset.

Tang Xiyue took us out to eat something. Foreign dishes can only satisfy our hunger, and they don't taste much.

When asked about Tang Xiyue's major during the dinner, she said lightly: biological engineering.

I was a little stunned, "Didn't we belong to the same department back then? We both have the same major, and you love painting so much, why?"

She still said with a flat face, "Didn't you leave? I didn't like my original major at first, so I applied for a change of major. Afterwards, my grades were not bad, so I stayed in school."

I couldn't find a word to answer for a moment, so I squinted my eyes and cut a piece of lean meat for her, and grinned with a bitter smile to signal her to eat it quickly.The boss suddenly said, "Why only cut it for her?" I glared at her, and gave her the leftover fat on the plate, and she glared back at me, muttering, "It's so partial!" Looking at Tang Xiyue flatteringly, she smiled, forked the lean meat I gave her, put it into her mouth, chewed, chewed, chewed, and then pulled a long movement of the throat and swallowed it into her stomach.I breathed a sigh of relief.

From beginning to end, it seems like a long time has passed, but it is a pity that no matter how long it is, it will pass.

I want to ask Tang Xiyue, Zhou Tinger, what happened to them afterwards?But considering that the boss and the others are all around, so

It may not be appropriate to rashly mention the past, so I didn't ask.

That's how the meal ended.Meng Yan looked at me and asked: Do you want to go back to school?

I just remembered that we came to Cambridge on Saturday, and I was in a coma for a day, so I already had class on Monday.I moved my lips and said: I don't know.Yu Bi looked at Tang Xiyue.

She stood up slowly, and said in a calm tone, "You go back first! The instructors here are very strict, and it's not good to be absent from class."

I nodded numbly, and was about to ask her when the next time we meet, she had already turned her back and went to the counter to pay the bill.Is it deliberate or unintentional?In short, my words stuck in my lips, and I swallowed them back.A kiss can mean nothing, it may be just a fierce reunion kiss, not necessarily love.That's it.How many years have passed, am I finally unable to bear the loneliness?Always hitting Tang Xiyue's muzzle with so many intentions, the dust has finally settled, so why bother to splash her in the red dust again.

Tang Xiyue and I, we and Tang Xiyue parted silently in this way.The subway carries me, and the memories we have forgotten are drifting away.Tang Xiyue's body blurred in sight, she walked slowly because her destination was very close; I walked slowly, but the destination was far away, so the vehicle I was riding was fast, not rushing towards Tang Xiyue's direction , but was busy leaving her quickly.

We're finally going against each other again!When will we meet again?Sentences that choked in my throat and couldn't come out.

I almost went back to school with a sad face. I thought that I could only meet Tang Xiyue in my dreams in this life, but I saw Tang Xiyue without thinking about it!I will be immersed in pleasure all my life!Can't see, drown in pain!very nice!

I'm still the old me, easily sunk in Tang Xiyue's sadness.Over the years, I have worked hard to get used to the life without Tang Xiyue, and I finally walked out, not because I let go, but because I lingered on my memories.I have become too much of a person, I am no longer a lonely individual, I have learned to talk, learn to make friends, and learn to blend into the crowd to hide my own alternatives, but my heart is still shrunk into a hedgehog as always, just for Tang Xiyue opened up and loved her as always.

When I got back to school, I went to class with my roommates.On the way, I simply thanked them for guarding me in Cambridge for a day without even coming back to class.It may be that my expression was too insincere, and they stopped talking after two hiccups.

I went to bed after taking a shower at night, and usually I would sit in a chair and listen to their chat even if I didn’t talk much, but today my abnormality made them feel a little at a loss.Yes, the miracle of meeting Tang Xiyue dazzled me. I didn't think about the negative effects at all, how to resist those hype slanders, I was afraid that the words I love Tang Xiyue would repeat itself before it was too late The tragedy of leaving without saying goodbye three years ago, such a bloody life and separation, is a hundred times more cruel than farewell.If I didn't plan to spend my whole life, I wouldn't bother Tang Xiyue for no reason anymore.

Loving someone, love until death will not change, is the most sure thing for me, but fate is here, I, like my mother, will only kill the other half.Thinking of this, I suddenly calmed down.So I lifted the curtain and said loudly: I'm fine, I've already thought about the sad things, don't worry.The air in the bedroom relaxed.At the same time, the topic of the past has been developed again.

In the next few days, everyone went to class and ate as usual. I didn't mention Tang Xiyue, and the roommates also tacitly didn't ask. It didn't seem too painful for the time to flow like this.

But I didn't expect that Tang Xiyue would come to the University of London, my college, and in front of me, the spirit I was holding on to was torn apart, and the arc of the corner of my mouth could no longer be retracted freely.I staggered over and asked intermittently: You are here!

She stared at me intently, and slowly uttered a sentence from her mouth: It seems that you can live happily without me, but I mistakenly thought that it was me, and her expression was a little self-deprecating.The sky was clear, but I could clearly see the moisture swirling around Tang Xiyue's mouth when she spoke.

She turned around and left, and I knew that if I didn't take the initiative to go up this time, there was really no chance of redemption.I followed her all the way, followed her footsteps out of the school gate, on the subway, and then back to her school. From the beginning to the end, she never looked back at me, and I didn't make a sound to tell her to stop.Maybe she didn't see me, maybe she saw me but hated me to death, I don't know, should stop her or let her go.

Tang Xiyue turned her head first, then walked quickly in front of me, took my hand and walked outside the school without looking back, I lowered my head and let her lead me.She squeezed my hand a little raw, I could see her anger so I kept silent.

We went to the hotel, and as soon as we entered the room, Tang Xiyue threw me behind the door. Before I could stand still, I swayed against the door until it closed. Suddenly, she poked her head over like a snake attacking a human being, and bit me. Lips, I felt pain immediately.I started to resist subconsciously, but Tang Xiyue also clamped my hands hard, and I suddenly became inexplicably desperate.

I didn't expect that Tang Xiyue would do this to me one day, just like the doctor in the lunatic asylum forcibly suppressing Zhan Zhiling to give her unnecessary sedatives.I hate when people force me, even if that person is Tang Xiyue.We have no intention of being together for the rest of our lives, why do we do this to me?My tears flowed down uncontrollably.

I guess my face is turning from red to blue, and at the moment I feel my heart beating five times faster than normal, because I can't breathe anymore, and my hands are losing strength and slowly drooping.Tang Xiyue may have also noticed that she let go of her mouth that was biting my lip, and I didn't even have the strength to open my eyes!But I felt her crying and trembling.yes!Tang Xiyue is the person I love the most. If she wanted my life today, I would give it to her, wouldn't I?What's more, she just kissed me with all her strength, why would she be compared with those cruel doctors?I love her so much but I have to refuse even a kiss!

She laid me flat on the bed and slowly guided my breathing.After touching it for about half an hour, I finally let out a long breath and came back to life!

"I love you! You know that?" I turned my head and said with reddened eyes.

She nodded.

"You don't know, it's impossible for you to know. I love you so much that I forget about life and death. I love you not the kind of love that you sympathize with me, but the kind of love that wants to protect you for the rest of your life, but has to give up for your future. It's not your kind of love, a love full of sympathy. A love that doesn't regret even if one suffers alone. Do you understand?"

Tang Xiyue nodded, looked at me with remaining affectionate eyes and said: I love you too, not just the kind of sympathetic love, but also the love that I think can last a lifetime.But every time I come to take the initiative to look for you, and you always leave me without saying hello, leaving me alone and helpless again and again.Three years ago you said that for the sake of my future, I endured it, because we were still young, I couldn’t give you anything, and I didn’t have the ability to protect you, but after three years, you still left calmly, knowing where I lived. Don't look for me, I hate you so much but I still can't love anyone else.