Suicide

Sometimes I am a very stupid person, and I am willing to pretend to turn a blind eye to many things in order to avoid many unreasonable contempt from others.However, when it comes to Tang Xiyue, I have become very preoccupied, and excessive admiration often makes things difficult.Maybe many people don't have the same experience as me. When you are regarded as a different person in the crowd, it is very sad, especially when you find that trying to get everyone to accept you is basically a futile effort. The feeling of despair is indescribable.

Tang Xiyue is being isolated from the crowd because of me, which is very detrimental to her future, but in order to take care of my feelings, she never showed it.I was originally a man, I came and went without a trace, no one cared about me, this is also the difference between Tang Xiyue and me, she still has parents who need to be filial, she also carries the expectations of many people, and has many wonderful futures Beckoning to her, she couldn't care less than me.If Tang Xiyue is willing to become indifferent to everything for me, then she will lose her parents, her right to live in the crowd, her beautiful life, and maybe even more.I don't want, I don't want Tang Xiyue to become as desolate and pitiful as me. For a kind and pure girl like an angel, there should be someone who sincerely bends down to lift her skirt for her wherever she goes. If she is willing to pick the stars and enjoy the moon for her, she should be confident, happy, and happy, instead of hiding and showing timidity, like a child who has done something wrong.For this reason, I am willing to withdraw from her splendid life prematurely, and put an end to all these short and beautiful memories.Perhaps, in the future, when she thinks of those one or two incidents when she was young, she will be a little bit embarrassed, but in the end she will thank me for letting me go.Once again, I was moved by myself, and I fell on the pillow and cried until my seven orifices were smoked, and the sky was dark.

Maybe, I am also selfish.Based on my own arbitrary opinion, I don't give Tang Xiyue the right to choose.Because I am opposed to myself from the bottom of my heart, and I am full of affirmation of normal people's life, maybe because I can't have it. I always don't want a person I love to follow me to endure that inhuman life.It's true, short equals good.

Before I leave, I want to restore everything to the way it was.

Tang Xiyue's personality is very different from mine. When I am misunderstood by the outside world, I never explain and let others say what they say; Tang Xiyue will explain to others and ask for their understanding. We must be wronged.

Finally, the plan is drawn up!

I want to spend the last happy days with Tang Xiyue, but there are some things that must be started now.

I began to reveal the breath of parting intentionally or unintentionally.Tang Xiyue always has a flying smile on my face, which makes me hypnotized, and I don't know why.When the two of us went to eat, as usual, we received a lot of colored eyes. I never lowered my head to reply to them, except for the first time I looked directly at those eyes out of curiosity and enthusiasm. After that, I ignored them noblely.Tang Xiyue stood beside me with a smile on her face, as if she didn't care, as if she carried tolerance.

Tang Xiyue always asks me to talk more, within a meal, she talked about a lot of relaxed and pleasant topics, I looked at her face, her eyebrows were beaming, there was no falsehood involved, she was always so happy The expression made me unable to say goodbye.I stuffed the rice spoonful by spoonful into my choked throat, but I didn't stop the tears in my eyes.Tang Xiyue quickly pulled a tissue and handed it to me, and said, "Okay, why did you tell me you were crying?"

"Hey, no, it's just that I couldn't control it for a while." After finishing speaking, I took a tissue and wiped my eyes. Knowing that many people were paying attention, I eagerly took a few mouthfuls of food and signaled Tang Xiyue to leave .I almost impatiently took a step, rushed forward and left, Tang Xiyue followed behind, blocked me with a smile, and asked: "The first time someone saw your tears?"I did not speak to refute.Tang Xiyue grinned again.We walked on campus like this for a long time, facing the gentle cool breeze blowing, and the branches swaying slightly, which made my vague and unspeakable thoughts deeper.

I tentatively asked Tang Xiyue: Are Zhou Tinger and the others still in touch with you?

Tang Xiyue was stunned for a moment, then stared into my eyes, as if looking for the intention of my question, but she couldn't get the information she wanted from my eyes, so she turned around and answered: No, We haven't been in touch for a long time, why are you asking this all of a sudden?

I avoided her question and asked instead: Do you want to renew your friendship with them?Do you want me to help you?

Tang Xiyue was really dumbfounded this time, her smiling face became a little stiff, and her voice was full of caution and said: "I want to too!"But I still think you are the most important.My mood became joyful in an instant, and I opened my mouth to smile happily. Tang Xiyue looked at me carefully, remembering that she once said: The way I smile is my most real moment, but it's a pity that she Didn't carry a camera with me, otherwise she would have captured those precious smiles on my face.I am so happy, when I cry, someone loves me, when I smile, someone appreciates me, and I am willing to lose everything for me and take care of my feelings.I can't be so selfish, I only think about myself, and I should answer her dedication ten times, a hundred times.

Tang Xiyue said: I don't know why, but the way you look up and smile is so strange but so sacred, the sun reflects on your face, matched with your curved eyebrows, raised corners of your mouth, and white teeth, it's like sparkling after sunset Like the waves of fish playing on the sparkling water, the movement and stillness complement each other. The strange thing is that ordinary people smile dignifiedly, but you smile boldly and cheerfully.I took Tang Xiyue's hand, she looked stunned, but soon became extremely happy, she squeezed the back of my hand, and said: Excessive thinking will make people lose weight day by day, you!Don't always be full of worries.I promised her: In fact, I am a short-lived figure, not because of overthinking.You see, my thin lips and my often red ears are signs of bad luck, especially my back, which gives people a feeling of being as thin as onion wings, which is why I give people the feeling of The reason for the cold wind, in fact, apart from the troubles of body shape, I am a very strong and strong person.One thing I hide is that because of my thin back, my cardiorespiratory fitness is slightly worse, and I can't do high-intensity physical labor. This is a factor that I have to finish college. .

The next day, I found Zhou Tinger, Xiao Hei and others.When they saw me coming, they instinctively turned around and walked away. I chased after them and stopped them.They motioned for me to speak quickly, but their bodies froze, but their eyes shot all around, but they didn't look at me.I bit my lips and said: Believe it or not, I will leave Tang Xiyue soon, just as you firmly believe, I like Tang Xiyue very much, I don't know if she likes me equally, but I I am convinced that she is my god, and I am willing to worship and believe in her all my life. If I can, I am willing to be by her side all my life, even if it is just an inconspicuous role. I don’t think it is such a shame to like her But Tang Xiyue has to live in the crowd all the time, we can't be soaked in strange eyes all our lives, and I won't let her suffer such pain.I took a breath and continued: I would also like to remain friends with Tang Xiyue, but I don't know why?Why do people have to drag us into homosexuality?But it's because my mom is gay!I am not, even if I am, when faced with Tang Xiyue's kindness and beauty, there are a few people who will not be moved, not to mention that I lacked love since I was a child, and I have never enjoyed the feeling of boiling happiness. It is Tang Xiyue who made me feel deeply Realized, why should I not love her, if I do not love her, what is so lovely in this world?When we were together, we didn't do anything messy. We just ate and went for a walk, which caused a lot of gossip, jokes and cursing. Why is the human heart so complicated?We are together, what is it that hinders others?

I eagerly poured out all these troubles, only to realize that Zhou Ting'er, Xiao Hei, and Baldy were all staring at me dumbfounded, with expressions of disbelief on their faces.

I said again: I said these words not to exchange for your sympathy, but to hope that you can understand Tang Xiyue's situation, she will not abandon me, it is just out of responsibility, not the same love as me.After I leave, you have to take good care of her, you are her favorite friends, don't alienate her, or she will be even more sad.I bowed deeply and left.

I dare not ask for their consent, for fear that those who refuse will

The sound broke my heart.