That Alien Feeling

Harry told Adam the truth: he hadn't been hugged in years.He remembers being held as a child, but as he got older, his family began to follow the custom of giving him space.In Kaluvia, hugging is perceived as an invasion of another’s privacy—physical contact increases the risk of sensory overstepping.

Harry must have forgotten how good it felt, because cuddling instantly became his favorite thing in the world.He wants to be hugged so badly that he's a little embarrassed himself - he's always taking up so much of Adam's personal space, he wants to snuggle up and be held in his arms, but Adam doesn't seem to mind .At first, it was just an attempt to fill the great void created by his inability to connect viscerally with his family and his mate, but by now Harry was worried that he might be too addicted.

Adam's cuddling skills are amazing.Whenever his strong body surrounds Harry, it makes Harry feel warm, cherished and loved.It's great, really, that a simple hug can energize him so much that he's energized almost all day long.There was only one bad thing: Harry had to scramble to harden his spirit shield against unauthorized access to Adam's mind.Harry was no saint, he was naturally curious, and he really, really wanted to know what Adam thought of him.However, he was reluctant to abuse telepathy.He felt that was cheating, and Adam shouldn't be treated that way.

"Is your boyfriend coming today?" Samantha's question interrupted his contemplation.

Harry looked at her, frowning slightly: "What?"

Samantha smiled teasingly. "Please, Xiaoha, what's there to tweak, I'm not stupid!"

"I don't understand," Harry said slowly. "what are you talking about?"

Samantha gave him a white look. "Tall, dark-skinned handsome guy, report to work on time every day? Give you a lot of tips? Do you remember anything?"

Harry smiled. "Adam? Don't be silly, he's not my boyfriend! He's just a friend."

Samantha glared at him. "You fool me?"

Harry kept his doubts in his stomach - he didn't understand how the conversation got into "play", but the context was quite clear, so he didn't ask - he said, "No, I'm Seriously. Adam's my best friend. I have a — fiancée at home." Besides, Kaluvians don't have boyfriends, girlfriends or anything.They had a bond, and Adam was clearly not his bond.

Samantha looked at him oddly. "Harry, you sit on his lap when there's no one in the shop," she said pointedly.

Harry's brow tightened. "What's the matter?" he said defensively. "I like it and Adam doesn't mind"

Samantha grew suspicious. "Listen to me, it's fine for a man to express his emotions and enjoy physical contact - this is the 21st century - but you have to admit that you sit on him for half an hour, clinging to him like a test Baby, that looks weird."

Harry pursed his lips, beginning to feel depressed. "You mean it's not generally done among friends in this country?"

"Really no," Samantha frowned deeply. "I'm sorry, but Xiaoha, why are you so incapable of dealing with people?"

Harry lowered his gaze to the plate of brownies in front of him.He's so stupid, he can't socialize with other people at all.He hates this feeling.He had friends back home, and of course he didn't hug them—there were no hugs between adults in Calluvia—but he thought it was normal for Earthlings.Adam was his only friend here, how would he know that their friendship was weird by earthling standards?He's acting weird and clinging too much to his friends, why didn't Adam tell him?Harry knew that Adam had always been soft on him, but he couldn't even speak up to stop Harry from being a weird fool?

"I don't know," Harry whispered, feeling rock bottom.He'd been looking forward to getting off work just now—Adam usually showed up around that time—but now he was a little afraid of that moment, and he was so embarrassed that he wanted to find a hole in the ground.

Why didn't Adam tell him?

He had to worry about this problem while going to work.

It's almost time to leave work.Doorbell rang.He didn't have to turn around to know it was Adam.He just knew anyway.

Harry took a few deep breaths, trying to suppress feelings of embarrassment and failure.

"Hey baby." Adam greeted him.

Harry turned away reluctantly.

The easy smile on Adam's lips faded. "What's the matter, Habbo?"

Normally at this time, Harry would walk over and put his head on Adam's shoulder, leaning on him, quietly begging for a hug.Adam would always oblige, wrap him in his arms, and they'd talk for a while, each about what they'd been up to that day, or just rambling.Harry had never found out how weird it was - or how much he wanted to, until now, he couldn't do it anymore.

"Why didn't you tell me I was a bad friend?" Harry asked.

Adam still had the same expression. "What?"

"Samantha said friends don't hug each other all the time," Harry said, looking down at the counter. "She said I was too clingy."

silence.

Then Adam went around the counter and gently cupped Harry's face in his fingers. "Hey, don't be stupid, you're not a bad friend. I'm so, so happy to hug you if you want."

Harry's heart sank. "But what do you want?"

A strange look crossed Adam's face. "Coincidentally, I also like hugs." He smiled, his teeth shining brightly. "Do you really think I have to hug you? I don't have that patience."

"But you never hug Jack, he's your friend too." Harry suddenly realized that he had never seen Adam hugging Jack.

Adam raised his eyebrows. "How do you know? Maybe we hug you all day without your back."

A strange discomfort weighed on Harry's stomach.He wasn't quite sure what was wrong with it, but he didn't like the feeling. "Really?" He tried not to imagine Adam holding Jack.Somehow it just didn't feel right.

Adam laughed at him. "Fake. If I hug him, he will think I'm crazy."

That's good.He didn't want Adam to hug anyone but him.

"See?" said Harry, dazzled by his own thoughts.Where did this exclusive idea come from?He has always been a man of sharing.

Adam stared at him for a while, with an expression on his face that he couldn't understand. "Harry, if you don't want me to hug you, just say so."

"Nope," Harry said, grabbing Adam's tie nervously and fiddling with it. "Please keep hugging me—but the same, if you don't want to hug me, forget it."

Adam smiled at him—it was a soft, slightly curled smile, which he didn't smile at other people, it seemed to be "for Harry"—and he said, "I think so."

Harry smiled slightly, wrapping his arms around Adam's neck, resting his cheek on Adam's shoulder.Adam's strong, strong arms wrapped around him, making him feel warm and safe, was so good, he sighed happily.It feels really addictive.

Harry let go of Adam's tie, unbuttoned the first button of Adam's shirt, pressed his face against Adam's throat, and took a deep, greedy breath.He loves the smell of Adam so much.He wished he could bottle the scent and put it on his pillow so he could sleep better.Adam's strong fingers kneaded the nape of his neck and shoulder blades, and he grunted contentedly—he'd been working a long shift and it really hurt there.Sometimes he thinks Adam has telepathy too, because he always knows what he needs.

"Are you free?" Harry murmured, rubbing Adam's throat with his eyes closed. "Movie night? Are you coming?" He was a little embarrassed by the awkward tongue-twisting every time he snuggled up to Adam.Adam seemed to think it was amusing, saying Harry was just a little "skin hungry".Harry didn't quite understand it, but it was just embarrassment anyway.

Adam sighed. "I'm sorry, Habbo, no."

"Why not?" Harry's dream of spending a few blissful hours curled up next to Adam was shattered.

"I have a date tonight," Adam answered him.

Harry opened his eyes. "A date?" he repeated Adam's words. "with who?"

"People I know at work," Adam put down his arms and took a few steps back. "Actually, I have to go home and change now, or I'll be late."

"Oh," Harry suddenly felt chilly. "Then don't delay with me."

"See you tomorrow." Adam kissed Harry quickly on the temple. "See you later, baby."

"See you later," said Harry, uncharacteristically listless.He didn't understand why his emotions took a 180-degree turn.

An hour later, he returned to his small apartment and sat down in front of the TV.Harry usually enjoyed watching TV—he found Earthlings' technology fascinating, if occasionally frustrating, retro-technique—but nothing on TV tonight made him feel very excited.

He sighed and went to the kitchen to get some ice cream from the freezer.Adam once hinted that when people on earth are unhappy, they will eat ice cream to improve their mood.He also took a spoon, went back to the sofa, and started digging into the ice cream to eat.

It took him half an hour to finish eating the ice cream, but he didn't feel happy, but his stomach was uncomfortable.I don't know whether ice cream is only effective for people on earth, or he misunderstood Adam's meaning.He's still getting it wrong a lot lately.

Harry picked up the remote and started flipping through the channels.But nothing interested him.He persisted for an hour, and finally decided to go to bed.He doesn't want to eat, and the ice cream hasn't digested yet.

The sofa was harder to sleep on than usual, creaking whenever he moved.

Harry considered switching to a better-paying job in exchange for a more comfortable apartment; but he really liked Star Cafe, which, besides, was next to Adam's office.

Thinking of Adam made Harry feel torn.He forced himself to think of something else.

He misses his own home, his parents, his brothers and sisters.He has been on Earth for more than a month.Without Adam, he couldn't ignore the noisy silence in his subconscious.He had never known before that silence could be so loud.Now he understood why his parents had sent him to such a distant planet: presumably they were trying to teach him to value his kinship connections rather than use them to satisfy his own curiosity.People always know how to cherish after losing.The loneliness in his head made him flustered.And when he was with Adam, he felt much better.

Harry sighed and rolled over on his stomach on the couch.He's really bad at keeping Adam out of his thoughts.Maybe he should make more friends.The problem is, Harry finds himself not very good at making friends with Earthlings.The Earthlings seemed to like him, but it was also obvious that they found him too eccentric and socially awkward.Harry often couldn't understand the jokes of the Earthlings, or laughed inappropriately, which annoyed others instead.It seems like Adam is the only one who finds it cute that he's goofy in his dealings with people and doesn't get mad at him.

"I haven't thought about Adam for a full minute," Harry said, sighing again.He's really clingy, isn't he?

The sudden sound of music startled him.It took him a moment to realize that it was his phone that was ringing.Harry reached for his phone from the coffee table.

"Hey," Harry smiled happily in the dark.He doesn't have to look at the caller ID; only one person will call.

"Hey baby," Adam's voice was a little weird. "How are you?"

"It wasn't good, but it's much, much better now that you're calling," Harry said.

Adam laughed slightly. "God, you're not ashamed at all, are you?"

Harry frowned.He didn't understand what was so strange about speaking his mind.He firmly believes that no matter what the relationship is, the key is communication.

"You keep talking like it's a bad thing," said Harry.

"It's not bad at all." It sounds like Adam likes it a lot? "People like you are going extinct, Habbo."

He was a little slurred.

Harry frowned. "you're drunk?"

"It's just a little over the top."

"Aren't you on a date?" Even if Harry wasn't an expert on dating, he knew that getting drunk on a date wasn't an option.

"Just a little high," Adam insisted he wasn't drunk.Harry didn't think he believed him, he'd never heard Adam speak like that: slowly, with effort.

"Anyway he's boring," Adam said. "Talking is boring, looks are boring, and eyes are boring."

Harry bit his lip to keep from laughing.How funny it was to hear Adam dragging his tongue out!

"Are you still dating?"

"Yeah, but I'm in the toilet now," Adam said. "I want to call you and hear your voice. Has anyone ever told you? Your voice is very nice."

Harry smiled.He knew that his voice sounded particularly pleasing to Earthlings—Cauvians had different vocal chords than Earthlings. "Yes, but it's sweet of you to say that."

Adam laughed a few times, sounding a little hollow. "Sweet? It doesn't count. You are sweet. You are so sweet that I can eat you in one bite."

Harry couldn't help giggling. "You're so drunk, you're not a bit high."

"Not--drunk," Adam said. "I'd be a lot more off-putting if I were."

"Don't you have to go back to date?" Harry asked.Not that he wanted Adam back, but he was determined to be a closer friend, after talking to Samantha.

"I guess I have to go back." Adam didn't seem interested in continuing the date.

"Thinking of my coming?" Harry blurted out.He had to admit: he was a bad friend. "We can watch a movie together." And hugs.

There was silence on the phone for a while.

Then Adam said, "Fuck it. I'll be there in half an hour."

Harry grinned.

Half an hour later, the doorbell rang.Harry opened the door and hugged Adam tightly.He couldn't help it.Although he made up his mind not to be so clingy anymore, he felt... as if he had grasped at straws.He didn't know how to explain it to make sense.

"How's your date?" he asked after a while. "Is it really that bad?"

Adam sighed, his breath brushing Harry's cheek. "Don't want to talk about that." His voice was less muffled than on the phone—the fresh air must have sobered him up—but he wasn't clearly sober either.

Harry wanted to argue, but he realized that he didn't really want to talk about Adam's date either. "Samantha lent me the original series of Star Trek," Harry changed the subject, taking Adam by the hand and leading him to the couch. "We should watch this! The special effects are hilarious!"

They watched it, and fell asleep on the sofa by the third episode.

The next morning, when Harry opened his eyes, he saw Adam's sleeping face.They must have switched places while they were asleep, and he was now on top of Adam, their faces separated by inches.

Harry suddenly felt an urge to do something.He was stunned, not knowing what he wanted to do.All he knew was that he liked looking at Adam - and that didn't satisfy him.

He hesitantly raised his hand and stroked Adam's sharp jaw.Thick stubble pricked his palms.It feels weird, though not bad.A picture suddenly flashed in his mind: Adam's stubble scraping his sensitive belly.His stomach instantly shrank into a ball.

"Habbo?"

Harry looked up sharply and saw Adam watching him sleepily.He smiled dazedly.He was lucky that Adam didn't have telepathy, and he didn't know what a weird thought he had just now.

"Go down, Habbo." Adam's voice was a little rough.

Harry rolled over, frowning, looking at him thoughtfully. "Are you hungover? Does your head feel like it's going to split?" He read a book a few days ago, and that's how the hangover was described in the book.

"No." Adam said, closing his eyes.Even though he said that, it still sounded like he was in pain. "Just take it easy."

Harry shook his head inexplicably and headed for the bathroom.

He never understood the earthlings.