seven days lost

Ignoring his increasingly pale face, I looked up at him, "Will you kiss me?"

"No, look, Potter, I already have a girlfriend." His defense was weak, at least in my opinion.I don't know what I'm doing, or even how I'm feeling right now.It's just crazy.

"I think I'll still need to be hospitalized," I said finally. "If you don't agree, I'll find another way."

I was happy to see Draco clenched his fists, his body was trembling slightly, as if he was going to collapse.

"I understand your pain very well, Potter. I also said that if you are not satisfied with me, you can reject me at any time." He pressed his eyebrows, "Do you want to continue?"

I looked at his tormented expression, and my heart was still full of malice.

"I don't know," I said, "I'll tell you tomorrow."

After I finished speaking, I turned around and left, and walked into the backyard without looking back.

tomorrow?Tomorrow I will forget all about it.I can imagine how torn he's going to be tonight.But maybe he's fine with it, and maybe happy to be free of a nasty patient.

My malicious pleasure soon cooled down again.That suffocating disgust engulfed me again.

fifth day

Weather on the fifth day, June 6: sunny with night rain

When I woke up today, I saw a small key on the bedside table at a glance.Somehow, I know it's the key to the warehouse's back door.I put it in a little box on my bedside table.

I found a box under the bed and took out a small black book from it.It was bound with a rubber band, and I unwrapped it and began to read by the light from the window.

It's a wonderful feeling.I know how painful I have been these days, maybe every day before this is like this, only to wake up the next day and forget everything, and then face new pain.

I stroked the writing on it, slowly chewing word by word.My memory is messy and fragmented. Although I have remembered many in the previous days, they are not in a complete order, and my brain is still a mess.

But I still remember something.Where does my memory stay when I wake up today?I remember when I was at Hogwarts, I was scolded by Snape in Potions class... yes, right here.snape.

A complex emotion rose up inside of me.It's very complex, with resentment, shock, guilt...too much, and something that's just barely recognizable.I think of his gloomy face, pale cheeks, greasy black hair, bat-like figure, and his tone of voice is always dark and sticky...

He is one of the teachers I hate the most, I never get good grades in his class, and I have to endure his taunts all the time.And his preference for Slytherin is obvious to all. I have always been confused why Dumbledore let him continue to teach us. I was always full of doubts about him until the last moment——

My memory is stuck.

Why did I doubt him, and why forgave him?I can't remember.I realized a black hole in my memory, the reason all the broken memories couldn't come together.

I have a memory gap that is hard to fill.All the memories split from that point and turned into broken icebergs floating in the sea; while I was floating in the sea, staying on this iceberg from time to time, and going to the other side from time to time, but I still couldn't put them together.

I can't remember the most complicated part of my feelings for Snape, the real reason for Sirius' death, and what happened to Dumbledore. common always.It destroyed everyone, and even after so many years, the traces still exist, like a ghost jumping out from time to time to shake the dream.It lurks in all the fake smiles, the broken fingers, the limps, the locked doors, all the unfathomable shadows and vague hallucinations that make us feel like we have no escape from our lives Get out of that beat trap.

I am the clearest proof of that.Perhaps in a sense, I represent the scars of the past.It all looks like it's over, but is it really over?

I do not understand.

In the afternoon, Draco called.I calmly pressed the answer button.

"Hello, is this Harry Potter?"

"Yes."

"I'm Draco Malfoy, your healer."

"I know. You came to remind me to read the diary, didn't you?"

"Did you find the diary yourself?"

"Yes." After I finished speaking, I added, "I just have a feeling."

"That's nice." I think he's smiling, but I can't see it; which is a pity, because I think he must look good when he smiles.

We were silent for a while, and I was about to say goodbye when Draco suddenly asked, "Is your fever gone?"

"It's all right," I replied quickly. "By the way, I remembered something. I remembered Snape."

"Well, what else?"

"There's one thing I can't remember, I don't know what it is, but I think it's the key thing - I'm afraid it's related to why I got this disease - what happened to me, you know Is it?" I asked, gripping the phone tightly, my palms sweating.

There was silence on the other end of the phone.After a moment he replied, "I can look it up for you, Potter. If I can find it, I'll let you know."

I nodded, and immediately realized that he couldn't see, so I responded.

We couldn't think of anything else to talk about, so we said our goodbyes and hung up.

After stuffing the phone back into my pocket, I collapsed on the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling.

We all tacitly did not mention what happened last night.It was just an episode, for him it was a sick rambling, for me it was madness.

Yes, crazy.But also really crazy.

I suddenly realized that this was the source of my distraught all morning, and I was waiting for his call - after reading the diary, I have been waiting.I don't know if he will call, if he abandons me, then what should I do?Should I keep writing this diary?Can I get better, can I get rid of these troubles?

I look at the ceiling.What a fool I am.

I'm too dependent on him, that's not okay.But besides him, what else can I rely on?Isn't it natural for patients to depend on the therapist?I justify myself like this, but I know that these are lies, and I don't think so at all in my heart.

I recalled his hug last night, and I described that feeling in my diary in detail, which made me feel the throbbing at that time.In the silent late night, the jade-like fragrance, the pale profile of that person, I relived that tranquility, I seemed to be possessed at that moment——

I want to kiss him.I obviously think so.Not only that, I want to touch him, in another form.

I dare not say whether I am in love with him, this is a strange feeling, maybe I just lost my way for a while, I just grabbed a straw and just took attachment as love.He must have dealt with this situation many times, he would turn me down, but he would still help me.

So why not give it a try?

I deeply felt my malice, and I was doing something even crazier.But I have no worries, I have no life, I can only live in the present, so why can't I do some things I want to do?

I sat up from the bed, took out a striped white shirt and black pants from the closet, and changed into my pajamas.I rushed to the bathroom and awkwardly groomed myself in the mirror, trying to make my hair a little tamer, but gave up on the idea after half an hour.

I went back to the room again, took a deep breath, and dialed Draco's number.The beep sounded in my ear was extremely long and short.

The call is connected.

"Hello?" His voice was very low and magnetic.

"Can you meet me?" I said as calmly as possible, but my heart was already in my throat.

"Okay, now?"

"Yes, it's at the back door, where we used to meet." I spoke quickly, fearing that he would repent and hung up the phone quickly.

I took the key out of the box, opened the door, looked around, and slipped cautiously and quickly around the living room into the warehouse.With trembling fingers, I opened the little door with the key and ran wildly down the narrow path, with the setting sun hanging overhead, throwing rich gold on all the trembling weeds and yellow flowers.I heard the squeaks of the goblins, and I was still smiling.I feel my madness and my indomitable will, I am not afraid of anything, I will forget it tomorrow anyway.

I saw that person standing under a tree not far away, straight as a sword.This is perhaps the first time we have met at such a bright moment.

No, no, there were moments when we met like this - bright, golden, cheering, screaming - and I can only recall vague sensations, too fast, like the rushing wind.

I finally stopped in front of him, gasping for breath, and he looked down at me.

"Potter, what do you have—" he asked after I had caught my breath, but I cut him off.I interrupted him with a kiss.

I put my hands around the nape of his neck and I was kissing him, just the touch of my lips, I don't know how to kiss someone at all.I was quite reckless, and he reacted and started