seven days lost

He started to struggle, he pushed me outwards, and I immediately hugged him even tighter, refusing to let go no matter what.

I bit his lip, the smell of blood mixed in our mouths.He jerked his head away hard, and this time he finally succeeded—he broke free from my shackles and hit his back on the trunk.

He lowered his head and wiped the blood on his lips with the back of his hand.Then he straightened up and looked at me, his face paler than ever before.

We just looked at each other, neither of us said a word.

"Surprised, isn't it?" I finally said first, "Do you think I'm getting sicker?"

"No, you're much better now," he said. "You can remember something."

"I already thought about that question yesterday," I said, "I won't reject you, so don't reject me either."

He stared at me, standing stiffly in place.He gave a wry smile.

"Come on, Potter. Really, you don't know what you're talking about."

"No, I know, I know. Do you think it's unbelievable to say something like that from a mental patient?"

"You're not mentally ill, Potter."

"So why don't you believe it?"

Draco opened his mouth, unable to speak.He pressed his forehead irritably, and said as calmly as possible: "Potter, you just developed a crush on me under this circumstance. As long as you think of everything, you will think it is absurd and wrong, you You'll feel like you're just out of your mind and you won't like me, you understand?"

"So what, it's all true, isn't it?" I retorted fiercely, "I know exactly what I'm doing, Malfoy."

"You think you are sober now, but you will react in time. Or, you think you are sober, but in fact you are in confusion. And what we need to do most now should be to make you feel better. "

"I don't think there's any conflict in that. Has anyone ever said that sick people can't have relationships?"

"No, but—"

"I think I need to make you understand," I took a step forward, "do you need me to kiss you again?"

"No, no, come on, Potter. Please." He sighed. "I already have a girlfriend."

"You said that yesterday," I said, "but didn't you break up with Parkinson?"

Draco's pupils shrank instantly, and the last trace of blood was lost on his face.He stared at me intently, his fingers tightened and then loosened, loosened and tightened, as if he wanted to run away immediately.

"...you think of Pansy?"

"Yeah, that's right." I said deliberately.I don't actually know what kind of person Pansy is.

This is another memory. I suddenly remembered it when I was flipping through the diary in the afternoon. It was not clear. I only remembered that I seemed to be standing behind a wall, and there were two men and women arguing not far away.One is Draco and the other is a girl with short hair.As soon as I saw her, the name Pansy Parkinson came to mind.

"You ask me why? No reason Pansy, I'm bored, okay?"

"What kind of talk is there for no reason? Draco, you are unreasonable!" the girl screamed.

"I'm very tired today, don't bother me anymore. Really, I don't want to say anything more exaggerated."

"Who is worse?!"

They argued a few more words, and Pansy turned away angrily, wiping away tears as she walked.

Draco stood there for a while, then suddenly turned and walked towards me.I quickly shrank back behind the wall and hid in the shadows.He hurried past my hiding place, glanced here as if there was nothing, and my heart beat suddenly quickened.But he didn't say anything in the end, it seemed that he really just glanced at it unintentionally, and walked away quickly.

For some reason, this memory is much more blurred than before. I can't tell where it came from, but I know what it means.

I stared at Draco, waiting for his next words.

"...what do you remember?" he asked after a while.

"What do you think I should remember?" I asked rhetorically.

Draco watched my expression, and I guessed his inner thoughts.He must have panicked, even though he was outwardly calm.He didn't expect me to recall things about him - we'd met, he'd read at Hogwarts, we might have talked... no, not just that, much more than that, my mind Other things started popping out of me, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't catch them.

"It's nothing, Potter. Whatever you remember, it's a thing of the past."

"So even you have to hide something from me?"

My questioning seemed like a blow to him, Draco pressed his brow again and took a deep breath.

"I didn't intend to do that. I mean, I did break up with Pencey, but that's just the past, not the present."

"So you got back together again?"

Draco's mouth twitched oddly.

"No, Potter. Don't ask any more."

"Tomorrow I will forget all this. My senses are limited, Malfoy. Maybe tomorrow's me will laugh at how stupid I am today. I will do what you want. But now, you know, if you insist on doing this Do it, and you'll miss it," I said calmly.

Draco looked like I was driving me crazy.

"You know what you're talking about, Potter? You're taking advantage of your condition—you think that's why you're doing it?" His lips quivered slightly.

"I have no reason to do this, just because I want to do it. As I said, I am more sober than you think." I am a little impatient, and his hesitation and detours are simply wearing people's patience.

"Sorry, I can't—"

"Why is it impossible? You obviously have feelings for me too."

At last he smiled and said, "No, no, you've misunderstood. I do the same with other patients."

"And do you kiss other patients, too?"

"what?"

"You kissed me, Malfoy," I looked straight at him, "in a hospital bed."

His body swayed, and he leaned against the tree again.He covered his eyes, then his nose.After a few seconds, he asked in an inaudible voice: "... When did you remember it?"

"Just now, when I kissed you." It was just a flash of memory, but I caught it. "It was at St. Mungo's Hospital, I've been there before, right? In the hospital."

"No, stop talking."

"You liked me back then. Or do you have to say it was just a coincidence that you came here?"

"Stop talking about Potter, please."

"You don't have a girlfriend, anyway, I don't believe it." I pressed every step of the way, and Draco scratched the back of his hand with red marks, and he was about to collapse—or explode, it was all because of my persecution.But I want to know.

I knew Draco was hiding something from me too.Maybe I just found out today, maybe I have noticed it in the subtle conversations, but now I have finally confirmed it clearly-that time in the backyard was not our first encounter at all, back in Hogwarts We got to know each other, but he didn't say anything.Maybe he thought it was good for me, as did my friends, but I just felt cheated.

My therapist is cheating on me too.He pretended not to know anything about me, what my friends were hiding, and I wondered what he was up to.

I stared into his eyes, which were gray and blue, like the light of daybreak, and frost and dew condensed day and night around the pupils.

I was always in control of this conversation, and I was in control of his emotions, which gave me a little catharsis in my pent-up anger and struggle.I don't want to leave him any leeway, I want him to torture his heart, what is he thinking, what is he doing, what is his purpose?He weaves so many lies, is it just for a subject?

"It doesn't matter if I have a girlfriend or not, Potter." After a long while, he finally spoke, but the content was still annoyingly procrastinating.

"But you did kiss me, and you are responsible for that kiss."

"It was just a mistake, like your kiss—"

"Oh, I don't think I'm wrong Malfoy," I said angrily. "Would you believe I'm going to St. Mungo's and complaining about you? I'll tell them how you lured your patients and now you're going to start another mess." Forsaken—”

"Potter, you're going to regret your actions, it's ridiculous. Stop pushing me. Believe me, it's just your spur of the moment, you don't love me at all. You're just looking for an outlet , You hope to get the feeling of being loved from me, because you feel confused, and you think I can rely on you." Draco's entire face was distorted, he suppressed his anger and oppression, and said in a cold voice.

"Oh, it seems that you have finally shown your true colors, when it comes to your interests. It is gratifying that you have finally stopped maintaining that false tenderness." My words also became bitter and mean , I looked at him with my arms folded, and snorted coldly.

Draco turned his head vigorously. I have no doubt about the degree of anger in his heart, but he still maintained his last composure and dignity, so he didn't punch him.

"You can complain about me, Potter. But let me tell you, I don't work there anymore," he said stiffly. "I quit a long time ago."

"What?" I was taken aback.

"I resigned Potter, after kissing you." He dropped this sentence coldly, and left without looking back.

I'm standing still