love marks

Chapter 86, the worldliness I don't accept is disgusting.

When I woke up, it was dawn, and I was lying on the bed with Fu Yu, my head was in a daze, I only remembered drinking white wine last night, and I couldn't remember anything after that.

I looked at the time, it was 07:30 in the morning, half an hour before going to work.

I quickly sat up and shook Fu Yu who was sleeping next to me, "Get up soon, I'm going to be late for work."

Someone groaned twice, turned over and did not move again.

"Get up soon, the internship will be over in two days, don't let people get caught at this time."

She responded and didn't open her eyes for a long time, "I'm so sleepy, I don't want to move."

I looked at her sleepy look and thought it was very cute, so I squeezed a kiss on her lips. When I looked up, I suddenly found a faint bruise on her neck, so I took a closer look, as if she had been pinched , Immediately panicked: "Yu'er, what happened to your neck?!"

She lazily replied, "What's wrong with the neck."

"I still want to ask you, why do you have pinch marks on your neck?!"

"What pinch marks..." Before she could react, she sat up suddenly after a while, took out the mirror from the drawer and looked at it, her face darkened, "The attack was really cruel..."

"Who pinched it?!" I asked.

She looked at me and hesitated for a moment, "It's okay."

"How could it be all right!" I didn't believe it, "Who strangled it? Why did he do this? It's to put people to death."

"No, if he wants to strangle me, I won't be lying on the bed properly." She still talked about him.

"what happened?"

She was a little upset, "Oh, don't ask, it's nothing, it's all my fault, I'm going to be late, pack up and go out."

I didn't want to think about anything else, but thought about what happened last night carefully.

I didn't see Fu Yu after I got home last night, I only knew that she was taking a shower in the bathroom, then she prepared a seafood dinner, then I drank white wine, and then went to bed... I have no memory of what happened between drinking and sleeping ;

Could it be that she knew that I would get ahead when I drank, so she avoided seeing her until I finished drinking and fell asleep so that I would not notice her strangeness?

No, I will see her when I wake up, so why bother, not to mention that she specially prepared a seafood feast, which shows that she wants to have a good meal with me.

If Fu Yu was bullied outside, he wouldn't be in the mood to have a big meal. If he wanted to have a seafood meal with me, he wouldn't expect me to pass out after drinking...

It's also possible that I drank the pill, and the pinch mark on Fu Yu's neck was probably caused after returning home last night.

Saying so...

I immediately sweated all over my body, looked at her in disbelief and said, "I can't pinch this, can I?"

She felt her body stiffen, but she didn't deny it.

The chill on my body became even heavier, "No way, I really pinched it?"

Her eyes were a little complicated, "You don't remember what happened last night?"

I thought about it carefully and shook my head blankly.

She didn't express any extra expressions, and she didn't say much, "Forget it, don't drink liquor in the future."

Baijiu, how about liquor?

"Am I crazy about drinking?" Will I be crazy about drinking when I'm drunk?

Fu Yu was silent for a while, and replied ambiguously, "Who knows."

"It's my fault if I go crazy with alcohol. I apologize to you. Don't be angry. I won't drink liquor in the future. I didn't mean it." I apologized.

"I know." She was not angry.

I breathed a sigh of relief, and then said, "We didn't quarrel last night, did we? If I said something that hurt you, don't take it to heart. Those are crazy words, not my intention."

She thought, "I know."

Due to time constraints, we didn't have time to eat breakfast. When I hurried out, I thought about the seafood feast, "Have you eaten all the seafood?"

"Ah."

I felt a little pity, "I don't remember what it was like at all."

She rolled my eyes at me, touched my swollen belly, and replied calmly, "It's all in my stomach."

"Let's have another meal after the salary is paid." I said.

She didn't object, and I walked to the side of the road two steps ahead, waving for a taxi.

She could feel a little down.

I walked over, put my arms around her neck from behind, and kissed her lightly on the back of her neck: "I'm sorry, I really can't remember."

She slumped for a moment, "It's because you don't want to remember."

I am speechless.

Who knows whether drinking fragments is true or not.

Thinking of the fact that I am very likely to be violent when I am drunk, I am also in a cold sweat.

We didn't mention that incident again, and it took me a long time to realize that she never asked me what she did when I left suddenly that day, or she said it all on the night when I was drunk. finished?

I dare not think about it.

This day my mother called and asked me to go home and said that she wanted to talk to me. Since I left home last time, I haven’t been home for a year.

Is she calming down or getting more angry?

I was a little hesitant, and my mother said in a helpless tone, "I am your mother, do you have to have such a relationship with me? Will I still harm you?"

I couldn't refuse, so I agreed.

When I got home, my mother prepared a table of meals. After opening the door, she sat down at the table and motioned for me to come over, "I haven't eaten yet, let's chat while eating."

"No need, I'm afraid I'll lose my appetite by then." My answer was a bit disappointing.

The mother looked a little displeased, but she didn't object. She got up and went to the sofa to sit down again, "Come and sit, we two have a good chat."

I went over and sat down.

The atmosphere was awkward for two seconds, and she asked, "How are you and Fu Yu doing?"

"pretty good."

"Does her family know about your affairs?"

"know."

"How to say?"

"They agreed."

"Agree?" Mom couldn't believe it, "Didn't you say anything else?"

"Signed a love agreement, which means that they will be on the sidelines and will not participate." I replied.

"A love agreement? What is that?" Mom just thought it was funny. "Can things like feelings be restricted by an agreement? After getting a marriage certificate, you can get a divorce at the end. What legal effect can a paper agreement have?"

I thought about it for a while and replied, "It really has no legal effect. The matter between me and Fu Yu cannot be controlled by the law."

"If the law can't control it, then I can't control it either, right?" She turned back to the topic.

I was a little depressed, "It's just the same sex, what's the big deal, mom, do you need to be so firm?"

"Am I resolute? I am not as resolute as you are," my mother interrupted me, "Just because I disagree with the two of you, you will not come home for a year. I am your mother. I have raised you for so many years, but I don't want you to go astray. You and Fu Yu are both girls. I won't say anything about the relationship between the same sex, but it doesn't mean that you must have that kind of relationship. Each of you has to start a family and get married, if you have this kind of relationship now, you won't be able to see each other after you separate, otherwise it would be embarrassing."

"Then don't separate." I didn't care.

My mother was helpless, "The road of homosexuality is not easy to walk. Why do you insist on walking on this road? If others know that you are in this kind of relationship, what do you want them to think of us? You will drown people with spittle."

"How we live has nothing to do with outsiders. It costs them money to eat their rice or drink their water. It doesn't matter what they do."

"Xiao Song, you are still young, and you don't understand that people's hearts are sinister and their words are terrifying. You can't underestimate the power of public opinion. Public opinion can incite people's thoughts and smear other people's impressions of you. How can you mess up in society in the future? Ah, there is no place to stand, who would want to be viewed with colored glasses..."

"I don't care what other people think, and I don't need them to like it, as long as Fu Yu and I get along well." I don't care.

"You are so naive," my mother said again, "I also go online sometimes, don't be fooled by the remarks of those people on the Internet, they are reasonable and full of righteous indignation online, but in reality, if they know There is a couple of homosexuals who will unconsciously look at it from a different perspective. They say they support it because they are special. Do you understand this specialness? Just like those disabled people, they have physical disabilities. You may see it on the Internet. I heard a lot of speeches about caring for the disabled and helping the disabled, which seemed very heartwarming, but have you ever heard someone speak for the disabled in your daily life? They look at homosexuals, a small group of people, in the same way they look at disabled people. They will think that you are also disabled, mentally disabled, and you are not the same as those disabled people... those who are rotten women, who support men and women, are not the same When you see two men together, you will only be full of fussy and useless thoughts. When you step into the society, you will understand that sometimes in order to survive, you have to do some unavoidable things, such as hiding the fact that you like the same sex, You may even be pressured to marry the opposite sex and have children, and in the end it will be that way, since the results are the same, why do you have to go through this muddy water?"

"Mom," I held her hand and said seriously, "I know what you said, but if you want to live a good life, you have to make choices. You can't just be disturbed by the outside world. A completely mediocre life, without any real pleasure in my own life... Or I would have lived like this before I met Fu Yu, but life has no assumptions. If I met Fu Yu, our mentality is the same, and the choice is the same , we also feel happy together, isn’t that enough? Why should we discard this bit of happiness in order to survive? We can meet a few people we really love in this world. If we don’t have this one, we may meet the next one. Is it still the same? Or maybe I won’t meet again, I’ll never meet someone I’m attracted to in my life, Mom, do you want me to die alone?”

"Why are you going to die alone here?" Mom was puzzled. "In the future, you will meet someone who suits you and live with you. How can you be sure that you don't like that person?"

"I won't like others anymore," I said affirmatively, "because I met Fu Yu."

Mom was speechless.

I continued, "Lonely old age does not only mean that there is no one around you, but the spiritual commonality is also very important. Otherwise, even if someone is by your side, you don't have a common language with him. How is this different from being alone? Mom When you date Uncle Zhang, don’t you hope that someone will understand you.”

Mom froze for a moment, her expression a little unnatural.

"Actually, mom, you like Fu Yu very much, right? You disagree with her just because she is a girl, but this is no problem for me. Uncle Zhang is a boy. You may also get married, but mom, are you really happy now? Do you really want to marry him?"

My mother was at a loss for words, "I'm talking about your business, what do you say I'm doing."

"Love has nothing to do with gender, it has to do with the soul. Fu Yu and I have a tacit understanding on one point. We both hope to be together forever, no matter what happens in the future, but this idea is true. There are many foreign countries that allow it. Same-sex marriage, because they know that this is not a disease, and it cannot be properly changed by pressure and treatment, and there is no such law in our country, but they have to admit that there is no way to annihilate this relationship, they are just deceiving themselves and others."

"Don't go so far, anyway, I can't accept the relationship between my girl and a girl, it's too ruinous." Mom still resisted.

"No, I think my three views are quite upright," I said, "To tell you the truth, I never thought that I would really like a girl before, but it just happened, and many things can't be done. It's expected, but I'm sure of one thing, I hate having close contact with boys, except my brother, I haven't met a boy I like in all these years of school, so I think... I don't like boys."

Mom was surprised, "Why? Why don't you like boys? I heard from Xiao Ming that there are many boys among your friends, and you can get along pretty well. Besides, don't you also like boys to dress up?"

"That's acceptable on the surface, and I don't plan to have a deep friendship." I put one size at a time. "I can't accept boys touching me. They feel disgusting when they touch me."

The mother had a very astonished expression, and it took a while to recover and asked, "Then you mean that you can't marry a boy?"

"It looks like it is." I said calmly.

"How can this work?" She looked helpless, "You have a psychological problem... What about ordinary physical contact, isn't it?"

"Why is there physical contact? I hate physical contact," I said solemnly, "I even avoid physical contact with girls, and the few friends who are passable on the surface are also my brother's friends, and I don't count it. "

My mother looked in disbelief, "...No, I remember you didn't have this problem before, when did it start?"

"It's been like this since I was a kid."

"When was your childhood?"

I thought about it, looked at her squarely and said, "Nine years old."

"Nine years old..." She meditated for a while, then suddenly her face changed, she stared at me for a long time, and then said tentatively, "Do you still remember what happened that year?"

We stared at each other quietly for a while, until she was a little flustered, and when she was about to say something, I responded, "I remember."

Her face suddenly collapsed, as if all her strength was taken away in an instant.

The air was silent for a while, and my mother made a decision, "I'm going to search for a famous psychiatrist, and tomorrow we'll go to see someone else."

"What's wrong with me? I'm not sick!" I was displeased.

"What is not sick? You are mentally ill." My mother was categorical.

"I said I'm fine!" I repeated.

"Hey, listen to my mother, I can't let you do whatever you want." My mother had made up her mind, she turned around and walked into the house without listening to my explanation.

"Mom, what are you doing?"

"Call the doctor."

Hearing this, I got up and left. I didn't want my mother to turn back halfway, so she dragged me to the bedroom.

"Mom, what are you doing! Let go of me." I couldn't break free.

"You still have to go back to find that girl Fu Yu, right? Let me tell you, don't go out until the psychological problem is resolved!" She said.

I panicked, "What are you doing, you want to lock me up!"

"I just have to lock you up so that you won't be thinking about those crooked people all day long."

"Who's cheating, don't pull me! I..." Before I finished speaking, I was dragged back to my room. My mother blocked the door and said seriously, "Don't even think about going anywhere these days. Just stay at home honestly, and follow me to see a psychiatrist tomorrow."

"I'm not sick, I won't go!" I was upset.

"Look at your current state. You're blowing your beard, staring at your eyes, and yelling. When did you talk to me like this before? You were so obedient when you were a child..." She suddenly stopped talking and turned back to the topic, "Let's do this today, rest early."

After she finished speaking, she closed the door and went out.

When the lock was locked, I was shocked, and hurried to pull the door, and it was locked.

"Mom, what are you doing locking the door, open it!"

"If you run away without locking the door, where can I catch you?" The mother's neutral voice came from outside the door, "You stay calm and don't be such a moth."

"Mom, open the door quickly, you are going to put me under house arrest!" I was depressed.

"The house arrest is also for your own good. You haven't come back for a long time. If you stay at home, you will be your mother."

"Mom, my internship is not over yet, and I have to go to work tomorrow." I found a reasonable reason.

"Don't fool me. I've already asked your brother. Your internship is over long ago. You just rely on being with Fu Yu and don't know how to come back. If you're with that girl again, you'll have to learn bad things sooner or later."

Her voice rang outside the door, but she didn't open the door.

After knocking on the door for a while, I knew that I couldn't get out, so I didn't waste that effort.

My mother's thinking is deeply rooted. Although she told me the "big truth", she still thinks that homosexuality is a disease. From the reaction just now, it can be seen that she thinks that the reason why I like Fu Yu is because of the psychological shadow from my childhood.

Psychological shadow is a disease and needs to be cured, but if the psychological shadow is cured, will you not like Fu Yu anymore? These are two different things.

I was upset and anxious, and stayed in the bedroom all afternoon; during this period, my mother didn't say a word, and I also searched every corner of the bedroom, and tried various methods but failed to open the door. I live on the fifth floor, and it is impossible to climb down the window. I wanted to call Fu Yu, but found that the phone was not with me. It must have been taken away by my mother, and I was even more discouraged.

If she can't contact me, Fu Yu will definitely be in a hurry, let's not say that Fu Yu has been in a low mood for the past two days, even if she doesn't say anything, she will be furious if she can't find me with Feng Ji's temper.

But no matter what their reactions were, I couldn't respond. Thinking of this made me feel even more irritable, and the sky gradually darkened, and my mood sank little by little.

Finally the room was pitch black.

I didn't turn on the light, and sat quietly by the door.Any sound can be heard clearly in the quiet color.

I don't know how long it took, the door outside was knocked suddenly, after a while my mother went to open the door, a man's voice sounded, I couldn't help frowning when I heard the sound, why is he here so late.

There was a soft rustling sound, and the mother's voice sounded: "Xiao Song is back."

"Where is it?" the man asked.

"In the bedroom, I think she may have a psychological problem. I will take her to see a psychiatrist tomorrow."

"Psychological problem? What problem, is it serious?"

"Is it not serious to like the same sex and fall in love with the same sex?"

"Juanzi," the man sighed, "This homosexuality is not necessarily a disease, it's just a matter of sexual orientation..."

"No, you don't know. She was probably stimulated when she was a child. She told me today that she can't have physical contact with boys, otherwise she will feel sick. Isn't this a serious problem? Maybe it was left behind that time. It's a shadow." Mom's voice was low and anxious.

"That time? Which time? What happened?" the man asked.

"Well, it's all in the past. It's useless to talk about it. Anyway, I must see a psychiatrist tomorrow."

"That's something to see, it's also good to guide and guide." The man agreed, and then said, "What is she doing now, is she asleep?"

"There has been no movement for a long time, it should be asleep."

The bedroom door rang twice suddenly.

"Since you're asleep, don't call her, it's not good if she sees you," the man said.

"What did you see?" My mother didn't react, and she laughed after a while, "You old and unscrupulous thing, you still miss those things at such an old age."

"Didn't they get impulsive when they saw you?" The man replied without shame.

There were two more teasing laughs, the door of the bedroom next door was closed, and the voice became quieter.

I was also inexplicably anxious.

After a while, faint voices came through the bedroom door.

Depend on!I really don't know how to avoid suspicion!

I burst into an unknown rage, and slammed on the door, and the sound stopped abruptly.

The air was still again.

Time passed bit by bit, I don't know how long it took, my legs became a little numb from sitting, so I got up and moved my legs.

At this time, the thin and broken voice came in from outside the door again, which was very ostentatious. I couldn't help but picked up the chair next to me and slammed it against the door.

With a loud bang, the chair snapped in two and fell to the ground with a bang.

There was a big crack in the bedroom door.

After a while, the door of the next door opened, and my bedroom door was also opened with the sound of footsteps. My mother and the man stood at the door in disheveled clothes. I saw the chair on the ground and the crack on the door. Angry, "What are you doing?!"

"What are you doing again! So loud, you want to dirty my ears!" I replied angrily.

The faces of the two turned pale for a while, "Xiao Song, you are still staying up so late."

"I disturbed you two, right? I'm leaving." I pushed them away and walked out.

Mom grabbed me, "Where are you going in the middle of the night?"

I looked at the man, "Then you go."

"Xiao Song, it's so late, the road is not easy to walk, let you Uncle Zhang..."

"I stayed here to do something with you, right?" I looked back coldly, "Mom, isn't your thinking quite traditional, if it wasn't true, would you be able to live with this man for so long without getting a certificate?"

Neither of them could speak a word.

"Okay, Uncle Zhang stay here, I'm leaving, I can't stay here for a minute!" I rushed out the door.

"Xiao Song!" My mother came up and pulled me, "It's too late, don't walk around, I don't worry."

"Let go!" I broke free from her shackles, walked quickly to the door, opened the door and walked out.

"Old Zhang, stop me quickly, don't let her mess around!" My mother's voice came from behind, and my arm was pulled by a force again. When I looked back, it was the man who was pulling my waist Arm, "Xiao Song, don't lose your temper, listen to your mother, be good."

I struggled twice, his slightly rough finger pads and dark skin made me feel nauseous, and I struggled even harder: "Don't touch me!"

"Xiao Song!"

After finally shaking off his hand, he took two steps forward, and when I saw this, I stepped back: "Stay away from me, don't come over!"

Before the voice landed, I heard my mother scream. At the same time, I felt that my feet were empty, and the gravity was wrong. My body fell back and fell.

"Xiao Song!"

There was a dull pain in the back of my head, followed by my limbs, and I rolled down uncontrollably from the height of the stairs.

I rolled down the stairs again.

This time I didn't pass out immediately, my head was in a daze, and I saw two people rushing down, a pair of big rough hands were about to come to help me, I curled up subconsciously: "Don't touch me!"

Then it went dark, and I lost consciousness again.