[Comprehensive British and American] Old popsicle online dating rules

4.

In fact, Steve would say so is definitely not groundless.While the dark circles under his eyes make it sound like some kind of sinister revenge (such as relentlessly slandering him in terms of masculinity for being punched by his boyfriend), the captain himself is well aware , he is not such a petty person, so in a way, this incident is not a harmless joke.

……should be.

A little irritated, he reached out and wiped his face, as if to wipe off the sweat that didn't exist on it.His left foot touched the ground lightly, and he focused his whole body on the other foot. His whole body looked like a loose string that had been twisted.Or, to use a more appropriate metaphor, it is like a big golden retriever that has not been fed by its owner, with some kind of grievance visible to the naked eye that seems to be hanging on its face all the time, and it feels really sick.

For a moment, the falcon stood in the park that was gradually becoming more and more frequented, like a statue that fell into a deep silence.

After a while, he moved his lips and squeezed out a voice from his throat: "It's not too late."

"Sorry, what did you say?" Steve blinked suspiciously.

"I mean, it's not too late for you to break up," Sam replied bitterly. "You can find someone who will satisfy you while you are not married-do you mean this?"

"..."

"By the way, if you really plan to do this, remember to hide it from Black Widow. Otherwise, she will unscrew your little Cap with her bare hands and let the old man play with it."

"..."

Captain America's expression was obviously offended, and Falcon found it difficult to distinguish what part of him made him show such an expression of wanting to kill relatives.So, they stared at each other for a long time, until the eye socket that did not have quadruple staring eyes finally couldn't withstand the sore eye socket, and realized that it seemed that it was not a joke on the other side's whim, and then said, "This world is too unfriendly to single dogs." And when the hell will you remember my line of business only veterans no marriage counseling' feeble rage surrender.

"Well, this is just a hypothesis, okay, I know you are not this kind of person, Captain."

He took out the key to Iron Man's luxury villa from his pocket, shook it in front of Steve, and Sam resigned to his fate and said:

"Do you need to come and talk?"

5.

Steve has to say, he found out it wasn't just about fists being thrown from under the covers in the early morning.Earlier, when the building he thought was ugly hadn't turned into the dog it is now, Captain America had already faintly noticed this sign, and thus created a not too important, but meaningful Big question.

"He rarely seems to have that need."

With a frustrated and troubled voice, Steve stood with his arms folded at the bar counter of the villa, looking at a group of Avengers who were looking at each other in front of the dining table: "I don't know whether the elves are not interested in this, or he is just not interested in me."

It's not that he's belittling himself.After all, apart from that night when Jarod took the initiative to pull himself into the closet, they had never had a similar intimate behavior. Even after returning from Avalon, they had been sleeping on the same bed, and the two maintained a kind of A polite distance, not disturbing each other at night, rarely even hug each other to sleep, let alone engage in certain activities that are prohibited to watch below.

"I used to think that he was worried about that 'Xin', and he was not in the mood to think about it, and he needed to save his energy to deal with the nightmares that came every night. After this incident, it will get better."

Steve paused: "But it didn't."

On the night of moving into Garrod's apartment, all the bad things were over, and the captain successfully entered the room.It stands to reason that under such favorable conditions and circumstances, it is only a matter of time to complete the great harmony of life-in fact, they have already exchanged a wet kiss in the dark bedroom and under the quilt.However, just when the atmosphere was just right and the captain was about to abandon his moral principles and tear off the opponent's pajamas, he suddenly discovered that Mr. Elf had fallen asleep on his chest.

...and actually just fell asleep like this.

Steve was dumbfounded.He stared at the furry head in his arms, and began to wonder if he had done something wrong just now, so that his boyfriend took the hint of his invitation as a good way to lull him to sleep.For God's sake, the guy even told Steve when he woke up the next morning that he liked the hypnosis, it helped him get over the elf's difficulty falling asleep, and would they be able to do it every day? Come again before going to bed - in other words, they have a kiss that is so hot and lingering that it should be sent every minute, but the one who provoked it just keeps teasing and doesn't solve it, and they fall asleep comfortably, Then let the cohabitant crawl to the bathroom with four times the self-control to take a cold shower, and crawl back weakly, ready to face the fists and dark circles under the eyes the next morning.

It sounded too miserable, so Steve sternly turned him down.Then he refused his refusal after Garrod stared at him silently for 10 minutes, and was tragically chained to an apple that some elf hung up with a rope and never could reach.

"I think I took too much cold water." Leaning against the bar, Captain America pinched his brows wearily: "I've been dreaming for several days that I'm still frozen in the Arctic Ocean."

"..."

The entire restaurant was silent.Tony, Falcon, Banner, and Clint who came to visit looked at each other, and began to desperately keep the frequency of chest vibrations within a controllable range. Afterwards, no one would admit that they laughed so hard that they fell off the bench first.

"I really didn't expect to hear the old Popsicle complaining about my dissatisfaction with desire." Almost shaking out his lungs, Iron Man leaned on Banner's body, almost pointing at Steve's nose and laughing wildly: " I have to have a good talk with Garrod, you are the fucking Statue of Liberty in America, how could you treat you so cruelly hahaha!!"

"So have you considered giving him a little more obvious cue?"

The eyes were removed to prevent them from being knocked out by Tony's flailing claws.As the only conscience among everyone present, Banner lowered his head and adjusted his expression, sincerely trying to solve their captain's problems: "For example, take a bath with him or something."

"I tried."

The corner of his mouth twitched indistinctly, obviously remembering some more frustrating experiences for him.Steve ignored Tony's laughter that still filled the room, and his eyes were very complicated: "He didn't respond at all, he just left after washing himself."

And the action was faster than usual, saying that he wanted to leave the space for him earlier, and the two of them were a bit crowded in the bathroom.

God knows how much he wanted to drag him back and strangle him.

"I can't believe that that living fossil has such good concentration?"

He was desperately resisting the urge to laugh, so that the corners of his mouth twisted into a strange arc.Clint cleared his throat, took a glass of water from the table and tried to hide his expression:

"This is kind of fun... No, I mean it's a bit too much, captain... Could it be that he is bored with you? You know, after all, modern society is so rich and colorful. If he suddenly wants to Now, are you planning to move on?"

"No, he won't."

Instinctively felt that there was something wrong with Clint's words, but still subconsciously rejected his statement.Steve waved his hand. Even though he felt the frustration in Garrod countless times that he had never felt in his lifetime, he never considered this possibility. Confidence—in fact, it should be attributed to the innate character of the elves. Although the fatal flaw of frigidity made Steve gnash his teeth, on the other hand, they also have the longest relationship with their partners. loyalty.Things like cheating and extramarital affairs will never appear in the dictionary of an elf. They are the most beautiful existence in the world and the cleanest and purest race. The bad habits of human beings have nothing to do with them, and it is absolutely impossible to tarnish them in the slightest.

"Well, he won't."

Also knowing that the possibility of this realization is very low, Hawkeye put his feet on the table carelessly, and put forward another hypothesis: "Then he doesn't respond to his boyfriend, so there must be some problems in that area." ?”

"……that aspect?"

Steve paused.

And Clint still said nothing formally: "It's just that there is a problem with function. Didn't he say that he remembered that he had died seven times? If there is a psychological barrier because of this, he can't afford to be hard—"

"..."

The agent who was chattering suddenly got stuck.He looked up at Captain America's expression, as if he had been struck by something, he froze in place with his mouth open, and didn't recover for a long time.

A suspicious silence hung in the air.

"Fuck, it can't be true." After thinking about his conclusion for a while, Hawkeye was terrified: "Am I really right?"

"..."

Steve couldn't answer these words, so he could only lower his head slowly with a thoughtful look on his face.And watching him move like this, Clint's chest stopped, and he felt even more panicked.

"My God, I didn't mean to speculate about that living fossil."

He grabbed his hair hard: "He won't become angry and kill me?!"

"I'll remember to remind Garald that he won't be able to get fucked if someone spreads rumors in front of his boyfriend."

He glanced at him gloatingly, and then turned to the bar with great interest.Tony stood up from the table, clapped his hands, and raised a finger excitedly after getting the attention of the whole living room.

"So, we need to have a plan now," he said loudly, "to solve the sex problems of the oldest two of us, and each of us should play a part in this."

"Second." Banner and Falcon raised their hands at the same time, and the latter added in a muttering voice: "To purify my morning running environment."

"I am willing to risk being killed by living fossils for the captain."

Probably not the first time he was on Garrod's blacklist, and Hawkeye quickly returned to normal, and began to spare no effort to participate in the next death.

"Unanimous vote."

Almost raise your arms in cheers.While Tony adamantly stated that his stance was based on helping his friends, Steve seriously suspected that he was simply bored at the villa and planning to entertain them.

"Don't worry, I will definitely send you to bed."

He jumped to the bar and patted Captain America on the shoulder. The president's father was sincere:

"Even if Garald is really cold, we will help you break him... After all, Garald told me last time that he will satisfy you and spend a lot of time keeping you from getting out of bed. I will find a way Let him make that statement a reality."

"……Oh."

Steve nodded subconsciously, and after a little recollection, he found that something seemed wrong.

"Wait, what did Garrod tell you last time?"

He slowly raised his eyelids:

"...Who wants to keep someone from getting out of bed?"