[Comprehensive British and American] Old popsicle online dating rules

1.

It started the moment they got back to New York.

Although S.H.I.E.L.D. is often known for its outstanding efficiency among the US federal agencies, even those dazzling black technologies can't restore the building that was just smashed into a hornet's nest the day before.So, now, the Avengers who just flew back from Southern Europe and the elves they raised are standing on the still potholed streets, lined up in awe, looking up at the Avengers Building that was half destroyed by the little monsters in front of them, Falling into a slightly different silence on the same question.

"If I put a knife on the neck of the old Popsicle, how quickly can Coulson repair my building?"

Looking at his laboratory that has disappeared from the earth with grief, Iron Man calculated all his losses in the past two days, and decided without hesitation to hand everything over to Jarvis and Pepper—even if that The same is true for a powerful Stark Group CEO who may rush into his house and strangle him in the next second: "There are really not many insurance companies that are willing to let me insure."

"……sorry."

Maybe it's because his textbook-like melancholy expression is too standard, or maybe it's because he has a guilty conscience.The culprit, who was squatting next to Tony thinking about his life, silently lowered his head, twisted his fingers together, and hummed very worriedly: "I can pay you with a part-time job."

"..."

Steve Rogers, who was squatting with him, didn't speak, and didn't even lift his eyelids, but everyone present felt the presence of Captain America.Especially the president's father, he lifted his mask almost in a sense of regret in Jialuode's sincere declaration, lowered his eyes, and looked at him with obvious displeasure.

"My building is more expensive than all of you combined." Tony muttered, "You can't afford the interest if you work for 200 years, even if you add Cap."

"That--"

Jialude thought for a while, then raised his head in embarrassment: "I pay for it?"

"..."

The air was suddenly silent.Captain America coughed heavily, menacingly, loudly as if trying to tear his lungs out of his chest.Tony had no doubt that if he had dared to show approval or nod, his brains would have been smashed out by the shield in an instant, and that old bastard Jarod would have laughed and watched him suffer--as he As he is doing now, he bases his happiness on his pain.

The president's father began to regret why he had to speak.

"So, doesn't anyone feel like we're solving a more pressing problem now?"

Holding a sandwich in his hand that he didn't know where to come from, he rejected Tony's food grabbing behavior on the grounds that 'if Hulk doesn't have enough to eat, he will run out very angry'.Dr. Banner pushed his glasses, stood on a piece of ruins that had just been filled, and spoke the first useful words after they returned to New York for half an hour:

"I hope you've all thought about this, guys...where are we going to live until the Avengers Tower is fixed?"

2.

Tony Stark is furious right now.

Because after a two-hour argument, almost everyone rejected Iron Man's suggestion to take them to a private room in a luxury hotel, and decided to go their separate ways amidst his powerless roar, and soon they were like a group of wild horses running wild They all dispersed and quickly disappeared from each other's sight, which perfectly interpreted the friendship of plastic teammates that is famous all over the world.

It's much more agile than when they assembled.

Garrod commented so accurately, and then patted Iron Man next to him, who was almost staring out of his sockets, in a consoling manner.

"Anyway, there are people who are willing to go back to your villa with you, aren't they?"

Nodding to Dr. Banner, he gave the loveless Falcon a smile, and he quickly turned his gaze back: "Just think we're all going on vacation."

By then, Thor had flown back to Asgard with the hammer in hand, Hawkeye decided to go home to nurse the baby, and Black Widow had a dozen safe houses in New York for her to choose from.So, in the end, only Banner, who had nowhere to go, and Falcon, whose house was far away in Washington, were left on the scene. The former had long been accustomed to being inseparable from the science team, while the latter was struggling violently in front of the invitation given by Garald. A few seconds, and then categorically chose to let Tony pack himself away, even if the price was that he would live with two Frankensteins who didn't know what to say for a few months, or even longer.

"No, buddy, it's not that I'm turning you down... I don't get along with Stark and his sci-fi world, really."

Holding his wings tightly, Sam got into the car that the president's father picked up from the only undamaged garage. At the same time, he gave a distorted smile to the two people who stayed behind in the ruins in great pain:

"But I just don't want to go blind much more than have a heart attack."

...and as if you would really like me to live with you.

Not seeing any disappointment or regret of being rejected on Mr. Elf's face, Falcon silently rolled his eyes and added this in his heart.

Yes.

Also remembering the heinous side effects after taking in the elderly group, Tony closed his mouth about wanting to get them in the car and drag them away together, waved his hands indiscriminately before Garrod could say anything, and then stepped on the Accelerate, quickly rushed out of the street corner and disappeared.

It was as if he had a legion of orcs chasing him behind him.

"So no one is going to ask me if I have a place to sleep, is there?"

Staring at the exhaust fumes of the three of them walking away, Steve put on an expression of 'Captain America is disappointed with them' on his face, but the corners of his mouth raised involuntarily, and he looked at his own netizens who were also looking at him:

"Then I can only rely on you to take me in."

"Sleeping on the street together?"

Shrugging, Jarod jumped off the broken concrete slab and jumped lightly to his side.Without waiting for the other party to answer, he took out a key with a star shield pendant from his pocket and threw it at Steve.

"You should be thankful that I haven't agreed to join you, and SHIELD didn't take back the apartment I lived in, otherwise we would be sleeping in the ruins."

With his hands on his hips, Mr. Elf raised his eyebrows and happily announced to his netizens:

"Don't worry, I will remember to collect the rent."

3.

When S.H.I.E.L.D. was looking for an apartment for the elves they dug out, they never expected that someone else would live here one day, and Jarod himself obviously didn't either.Fortunately, neither he nor Steve is a person who pursues enjoyment. Although the house is quite small, it can't be compared with the Avengers Building where everyone can have a floor, but it can still be crowded.

Garald's apartment has a fairy air, and it is so empty that it is impossible to add any words related to "home", which Black Widow has already evaluated very accurately.Therefore, on the first day when Steve moved in, he purposefully occupied Garald's closet with half a suitcase of clothes, and placed his pillows side by side with the other's, provocatively declared his half-ownership of the apartment.

Leaning on the door frame and watching his netizens tossing back and forth in the bedroom, Mr. Elf raised his chin, his expression obviously between wanting to laugh and helpless.

"Where should my shield be placed?"

Finally, after emptying out the entire suitcase, Steve finally remembered to turn to the owner of the room for advice.

"How about under the sofa." Garald smiled: "You can actually consider sleeping there."

"No." Steve refused without hesitation: "I can't sleep on the sofa."

After a pause, he added: "...unless you are also with me."

This is of course impossible.No apartment owner will take the initiative to give up the big soft bed in the bedroom and run to squeeze the narrow and hard sofa, especially its accessories probably include a super soldier weighing more than 200 pounds, and you have an 80.00% probability It's not just about sleeping on it.In fact, Garald thought he liked his couch quite a bit, and he didn't want to crush it in any way, or tear it down into a heap of ruins.

Not at all.

As a result, Jarod graciously tolerated Captain America's sharing his bed.And to find with great satisfaction that, in every respect, they were the most perfect cohabitants each could find.

Except for some not-so-good mentions.

As an 'old guy' from 70 years ago, Steve Rogers perfectly followed the average schedule of most people his age, waking up at five o'clock in the morning every day, and then packed himself up for a morning run .Sometimes Garald was with him, sometimes not, and the choice depended entirely on the weather outside the window, and Mr. Elf's mood today - and if his roommate was going to try to get him out of the quilt at the wrong time If he digs it out, he will greet the opponent with his fist without mercy, and present it to Captain America's dark circles that will not disappear for the next day.

"I think your temper has become worse since you came back from Southern Europe."

When Steve didn't know how many times he had to eat the bitter fruit of forcibly waking up an elf, he stared at the culprit who was still dazed under him, and it took him several seconds to realize that he seemed to be caught by his boyfriend again. Beat softly.Although this was not the first time this had happened, and even the time, location, and posture of the person being beaten were almost the same as himself, Steve still felt a burst of literal heart fatigue.

I really just wanted to give a good morning kiss this time.

Curling his lips, thinking that there is no ice pack in the refrigerator that can cold compress himself, Steve thought so aggrievedly.

But obviously, the good morning kiss he couldn't give was not as attractive to Garald as fluffy pillows and warm quilts.After confirming that he just punched his boyfriend, and not some other innocent passerby ABCD, Mr. Elf quickly yawned again, fell back on the bed, and under Steve's persistent gaze, Reluctantly gave him an explanation that sounded like an excuse.

"If you suddenly find out that you've died seven times, you won't be much better off, Steve."

He reached out to touch his lips perfunctorily, and then pressed towards Steve's face indiscriminately, so that he almost poked his finger into the other's eye.After finishing this extremely heartless good morning kiss, Jialuode closed his eyes without any burden, and waved his hand as if chasing flies:

"Go and run with our dear Falcon, I will make breakfast for you at eight o'clock, don't come back until this point."

Steve:  …

It's hard to say exactly which part of the sentence Captain America was hurt by.And when he threw Sam down a dozen laps in the park at the speed of a super soldier, and succeeded in blowing up the innocent veteran officer's lungs, he spoke slowly under the confused and annoyed gaze of the other party, And raised the whole thing from a private trouble to a super event that almost dispatched the entire Avengers.

"There must be something wrong with one of the two of us."

Once again ignoring Falcon's protests that 'although I am a counselor, my scope of practice only includes veterans and not marriage and love counseling', Steve Rogers paused, announcing to the world for the first time that he was in these dozen Findings in the cohabitation of days:

"I think Garald seems to have a cold personality."

"..."