[Comprehensive British and American] Old popsicle online dating rules

When the Black Widow gave him a dating site called LEX expectantly, Captain America actually refused.

Although it has been a long time since SHIELD was dug out of the ice, so long that even SHIELD itself has been overthrown and rebuilt, the impact brought by the 21st century is still continuous from the moment of waking up. continued.Especially things like the Internet, Steve admits that it is indeed very convenient, but for a person who has spanned 70 years at once, its almost subverting three-view influence is still a bit too much, and except Occasionally browsing the webpage, Steve has always stayed away from him-even if he is ridiculed by Iron Man many times as an old antique who does not think about making progress.

In fact, he is not nostalgic for the past, he is just not so anxious to go to the future.

Walking alone among the high-rise buildings in the 21st century with a shield on his back, looking at this earth-shaking world, the captain thought calmly.But unfortunately, Agent Natasha Romanoff always has her own ideas about how to deal with the old Popsicle.He may be able to resist Stark's endless persuasion for three days and three nights, but in front of the Black Widow, she can defeat the famous Captain America with just one word.

"If you'll listen to me and try that social network, I won't have to introduce you to another girlfriend, Rogers."

Lying on the sofa, carefully applying nail polish to each finger, the widow did not even raise her head, and accurately caught Steve who was sneaking away from the lounge:

"And if you don't go, I might ask all the girls from S.H.I.E.L.D. to help you out. Choose one."

"..."

Even if it just sounds, this is too scary.

Steve knows that Agent Romanoff will keep her word, she has always been as decisive in her actions in this area as she is in her marksmanship, and Cap is not planning to turn himself into a dating machine that never seems to be wanted. .So, under the awe and sympathetic eyes of others, he silently opened the registration page of LEX, and silently gave himself a screen name of "Star-Spangled Banner".

LEX didn't match him with too many users, Steve guessed it was because he filled in his real age in his profile, even if Natasha rolled his eyes at him several times because of this, he would never compromise.And luckily, no, he meant that unfortunately, among the few users, there are very few who can talk to him for more than ten sentences, and none of them can talk to the next time.After all, who would like a prudish, ignorant of 21st century humor, and 'stuffy' grandpa as their online friend?

"It's not that I don't want to, Natasha."

Relieved for a long time, Steve shrugged, trying not to make the relief on his face too obvious.

"Don't think it's over, captain." Looking up, Natasha gave him a rather fake smile: "Wait a little longer, there will always be someone who suits you. Maybe it's someone more than you." Old antique."

Then, Black Widow came true.

When he received the friend request from "Fried Golden Flower", Steve was considering whether to secretly cancel this thing.He has no interest in the social accounts of young people, and this kind of entertainment is not suitable for him.He had even thought about how to deal with the anger that Natasha might have after she found out, but the dialog box that popped up at the right time surprised him slightly, and it was fate that he canceled the logout soon after. account idea.

"Zha Jin Hua": Hello. "

"Star-Spangled Banner: Hello. "

In the information column of the friend application, it is clearly stated that the one who is the match of the other party is the one with the highest fitness value.Steve politely replied to the other party's greeting, hesitated for a while, and clicked on the homepage of "Fried Golden Flower", curious to find out what LEX used to judge that they were suitable for each other.

Until he saw the personal information filled out by the other party——

"Date of Birth: 1047 Year of the Two Trees"

"Age: 9872"

Steve: ...huh? ? !

Of course, Captain America would never believe that "Fried Golden Flower" is really that old.But he didn't feel the impetuosity that often appears in young people in the 21st century in his tone.Steve has to admit that chatting with "Fried Golden Flower" is indeed a very enjoyable thing. He is like the ocean, he can tolerate all your conscious and unconscious bad emotions, and he can also express all your bad emotions with one sentence. Wake up confused.Like a wise man who has gone through time, plain, peaceful, transparent, and gentle.

But occasionally, this person will make Steve feel a little bit helpless, such as doing something like 'asking Captain America in a vest for his autographed photo without clothes'.

And now, he couldn't tell which was more embarrassing for him, compared with the rumored 'Captain America scared the robbers out with his upright spirit'.

Holding up the phone in a daze for a while, he remembered that the other party was still eagerly waiting for his reply.The captain coughed lightly in embarrassment. Although he really liked "Fried Golden Flowers", he was a serious captain, how could he indulge such requests casually?

Thinking of this, and extinguishing the idea of ​​using Thunderbolt photos to make up the number in his mind, Steve lowered his head and tapped his phone slowly, with a dignified expression on his face:

"Star-Spangled Banner: You give me the address, and I'll send it to you. "

""Star-Spangled Banner": ...Of course, let me tell you first, there are only half-length ones. "

He almost gave up his face of more than 90 years.

The thought of giving away half-naked photos of myself and having to autograph them is embarrassing.But this is the hope of "Zhi Jinhua", no matter what the mood, Steve finds it really hard to refuse.

But things are more embarrassing.

I just said this casually, I didn't expect there to be Garald: ...

What to do, he is a serious elf, not a moron like a colleague who likes America's sweetheart body every day, how can he ask for the captain's nude photo?But the other party has said so, and it can still be delivered to the door. If he doesn't want it, he has failed the good intentions of "The Star-Spangled Banner", and it seems to be a loss.

After struggling mentally for less than half a second, Jialuode picked up the phone with bright eyes, and clicked a line of text.

""Fried Golden Flower": Really?Captain America's? !Or a signed photo? ! "

""Fried Golden Flower": Can you see the breasts! ! "

"The Star-Spangled Banner: ... yes. "

The excitement of "Fried Golden Flower" can be felt across the screen, which suddenly gave Steve a very weird sense of satisfaction.After being bombarded with a series of exclamation marks, he leaned back on the sofa, sent a polite yet awkward smile, continued typing slowly, and changed the topic at the speed of light.

""Star-Spangled Banner": Speaking of which, I rarely see you so excited... Do you like Captain America very much? "

"Zha Jin Hua": I really like it, he is a good guy. "

""Zha Jin Hua": And he is very similar to a friend I used to have... Although our relationship is not very harmonious, sometimes, I still miss him. "

Even if you can't hear the other party's voice, you can feel the heartfelt thoughts and sadness between the lines.Steve frowned slightly, typed a line, but quickly deleted it all.After all, everyone has their own secrets, some of which are not suitable for sharing, and it is not a good idea to ask too much.

Thinking of this, he flipped through his phone and sent a 'comforting' emoji.

And "Fried Golden Flower" quickly responded with a smile.

Afterwards, they chatted a lot. Although they were all trivial things, they still enjoyed it as much as they did when they first met.And not long after—at least Steve thought so—the clock in the living room pointed to nine o'clock in the evening, and it was already the time when "Zha Jinhua" usually went to bed. topic, say goodnight to each other.

""Star-Spangled Banner": Then you have a good rest, I will send the signed photo to the address you gave me [smile]"

"Zha Jin Hua": Thank you.You also remember to rest early. "

""Fried Golden Flower": Good night [爱心][爱心][爱心]"

"The Star-Spangled Banner: Good night. "

As if being frozen, he stared at the eye-catching red hearts on the screen for a long time.It took a long time for the clock to continue to jump forward, and the profile picture of "Fried Golden Flower" had turned into offline gray. Steve put down his phone, stood up straight from the sofa, and rubbed the back of his neck, which was a little sore.

"Did something good happen, Captain?"

He poured two glasses of milk from the bar and put one of them in front of Steve. Falcon, who had just wandered into the lounge, looked at his expression and raised his eyebrows curiously.

"It is nothing special."

The screen of the mobile phone went dark automatically, and the map location, which was not too far from the Avengers Building, also disappeared, so quickly that no one saw it.Steve, who had just exchanged someone's address with a signed photo, picked up his cup, covered the corners of his mouth that raised unconsciously, and blinked slowly: "However, you can do me a favor, Sam."

"What?"

"Take some pictures for me, and use Jarvis's system to make them look better."

Falcon: ... what? ?

The author has something to say: Falcon: I didn't expect you to be such a Captain America...Huh?Why are you taking off your clothes for a photo? !Are you going to blind my eagle eye? !

Hawkeye: Who the fuck is your Hawkeye? ! ! !

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The small theater stalk comes from the WeChat body of Mrs. Lofter Big Cabbage. The first time I saw it, I laughed so hard that I took off 23333

PS Of course, the average netizen Da Dun will definitely not give nude photos, even half-naked, he is a serious captain!I wouldn't use photos to secretly change someone's address XD! !

We all know, as long as we are happy23333