i think i still love you

Yifan still couldn't resist raising his hand to wipe away his tears, and said quickly before his heart softened, "Don't apologize, you know I can't forgive this time, the spring is broken, let's get a divorce after leaving the hospital .” Xiao Yifan said with a half smile.

"Yifan..." Gu Yifei couldn't utter the words on his lips. How could he disagree? That day he was crying at the door and begged him not to leave. What reason does he have to beg him to give himself another chance now? .

Standing here, Xiao Yifan was afraid of being seen by the doctor, and didn't want to confront him any longer. After hesitating for a while, he said to Gu Yifei, "Are you going to see the child? After all, you are also his father."

Gu Yifei couldn't believe that Xiao Yifan would take the initiative to let him see the child.

Xiao Yifan went on to say, "Go after reading, I will take care of the child."

Gu Yifei felt that his eyes instantly became black and white. He closed his eyes slowly and then opened them again before they returned to color again. He had no choice now, and Xiao Yifan didn't give him a choice. The sentence just now was a declarative sentence. It doesn't matter whether Gu Yifei agrees or not. .

Xiao Yifan pressed the elevator button first, and Gu Yifei put his hands on Xiao Yifan's side to protect Xiao Yifan.

……

……

Only one person can enter the NICU at a time. Xiao Yifan changed into a sterile suit and went in. Gu Yifei looked outside through the transparent glass. This was the first time Xiao Yifan saw the baby after the baby was born. Through the transparent incubator, Xiao Yifan's tears fell uncontrollably. Although he had seen too many induced labor babies, the defense line in his heart was completely defeated when he saw his own flesh and blood lying there, and he kept whispering "Honey, I'm dad, why are you so small, so small, you need to grow up quickly."

The baby is only 750g now, and his arms are not as thick as Xiao Yifan's thumb. The blood vessels with thin skin can be seen clearly. There is a breathing tube in his mouth, and tubes and monitoring instruments are inserted in his small torso and limbs.No matter how Xiao Yifan called him, the baby didn't move, only the rapid rise and fall of his chest proved that he was still alive.

"Father knows that you are working hard now. If possible, I hope that all of this can be done for you, baby..." Xiao Yifan was crying so hard that he couldn't control the tone of his speech, but he kept on talking, sobbing, the doctor inside I couldn't help but get red eyes, I'm used to seeing this kind of scene, but every time I face it, it will still be affected.

Xiao Yifan took out a sandalwood Avalokitesvara pendant from his sleeve. The rope was too long, so he tied it round and round to the shelf under the incubator. It was Gu Yifei who came in and asked him to bring it in. It was after Gu Yifei was an hour old Xiao Yifan didn't want his father to go to the Guanyin Temple to ask for his illness, but at this moment, as long as he said it was good for his child, he was willing to believe it.Xiao Yifan said while pestering, "This is from grandpa, he will bless you, baby, you have to be strong, because... Dad really can't lose you, really, really." Xiao Yifan couldn't stand crying anymore He was holding on to the incubator, and the doctors on the side came to comfort him. They were all colleagues. Seeing him crying like this made him feel very worried.

When the doctor was telling him about the baby's current condition, an alarm sound suddenly appeared on the connected equipment, and the rescue doctors quickly came in, and Xiao Yifan was immediately dragged out of the room. Gu Yifei took Xiao Yifan, who was almost limp, from the doctor. Fan, Xiao Yifan held on to the glass and refused to rest, Gu Yifei had no choice but to support him to watch outside.The baby's small body was tightly blocked by the doctor, Xiao Yifan didn't blink his nervous eyes.

Thankfully the lines on the instrument leveled off after 10 minutes and the light went back to green.As if the blocked breath was suddenly loosened, Xiao Yifan's last nerves finally broke. He pushed Gu Yifei to the wall, and hysterically exhausted all his strength to choke Gu Yifei's neck. He hated this He hates him so much that he wants to destroy him with his own hands.Gu Yifei was afraid of hurting Xiao Yifan, he didn't dare to resist with all his strength, his face turned red, he didn't know where Xiao Yifan's sudden strength came from, he had never seen Xiao Yifan like this before.

Gu Yifei slowly closed his eyes, his hearing gradually decreased due to lack of oxygen, and the surrounding sounds were gradually replaced by roaring tinnitus.

"Xiao Yifan, stop." Yuan Ya who rushed over broke Xiao Yifan's hand forcefully.

Xiao Yifan panted and collapsed on the ground as if awakened from a nightmare, pressing his hands on his chest until his knuckles turned white, and there were bean-sized drops of sweat on his forehead.Yuan Ya immediately knelt on the ground and leaned Xiao Yifan's head slightly on his arm to keep breathing smoothly, took out the nitroglycerin in his pocket and put it into Xiao Yifan's mouth.

The air that suddenly poured into the trachea from the other side made Gu Yifei kneel on the ground and cough violently. His vision and hearing had not recovered immediately, his brain was in pain like cracking, and the blood vessels on his temples were throbbing.A few minutes later, his vision gradually recovered, and he saw Xiao Yifan lying in Yuan Ya's arms with a pale complexion.

"Yifan!" Gu Yifei crawled over, Xiao Yifan's hands were so cold that there was no warmth at all.

"Get out!" Yuan Ya growled from his throat with bloodshot eyes.

The numbness of the limbs caused by the lack of oxygen made Gu Yifei push away by Yuan Ya without the slightest ability to resist, but his hand was still tightly held and did not let go. Gu Yifei felt Xiao Yifan's hand warm up little by little.

At this time, the pediatric doctor pushed the flatbed cart, several doctors carried Xiao Yifan into the cart, Gu Yifei had to let go of Xiao Yifan's hand, Yuan Ya and one doctor pushed Xiao Yifan away, and the other doctor stayed behind to ask his condition.

Gu Yifei shook his head, stood up with the support of the wall, and did not roll, leaned against the wall and waited outside the door where Xiao Yifan was resting.

An hour later, Xiao Yifan was pushed out in a wheelchair, and his spirit had recovered a lot. Seeing Gu Yifei was like seeing air.

At the entrance of the elevator going downstairs, Yuan Ya pressed the floor and immediately pressed the door close button. The door was half closed and then opened again. Xiao Yifan's hand was on the door open button, and Yuan Ya pressed it hard again After pressing the close button twice, Xiao Yifan pressed the open button again as soon as the door moved.When the door opened again, Gu Yifei entered the elevator, and the number gradually decreased.

"Gu Yifei..." Xiao Yifan's voice was not loud, but it was clear enough in a small space.

The elevator arrived with a "ding", and as the door gradually opened, Xiao Yifan said, "Let's go, let's stop torturing each other, I'm tired."

Yuan Ya pushed the wheelchair out of the elevator, Gu Yifei didn't move, outside the elevator Xiao Yifan turned his head, two pairs of red eyes looked at each other, until the elevator door was completely closed, the numbers on the screen continued to drop.

Yuan Ya didn't talk too much, he understood how hard it was for Xiao Yifan to be tense at the moment, so he didn't say anything or expose it.Xiao Yifan looked down at the movement of the ground, a pair of big slippers stopped in front of his eyes, Xiao Yifan raised his head, and immediately stood up from the wheelchair in shock, "Dad!"

Xiao Yifan didn't intend to hide it from his father at first, but he didn't expect his father to know so quickly that Xiao Zhengyan's outfit was obviously rushed out, and he didn't even have time to change his shoes.

Xiao Zhengyan pushed him back into the wheelchair, took the wheelchair from Yuan Ya, and pushed him into the ward.

Xiao Zhengyan squatted down in front of the wheelchair, held his hand, pinched his face, patted his leg twice comfortingly and said, "It's fine, just a little thinner."

Xiao Yifan tried his best to show a better state, and said with a smile, "I'm sorry Dad, I... I kicked your grandson out of my stomach in advance." After speaking, facing Xiao Zhengyan's face, Xiao Zhengyan The corners of her mouth were twitching in distress, like a rabbit with red eyes.Xiao Yifan bit his lip and couldn't pretend anymore, all the grievances rushed out, the completely private space in the ward made him completely released, and he hugged his father's neck and cried bitterly.

"Cry, cry...you'll be fine if you cry, it's fine, Dad is here." Xiao Zhengyan repeated while touching his head.

----------------------

Flies love to drill on light-seeking paper, but they can't pass through many difficulties.Suddenly hit the road, Shi Xin was blinded all his life.

This debt must be paid off.

(33)

Xiao Yifan was discharged from the hospital a week later and lived in the house that Xiao Zhengyan gave him. The two-month-old baby finally passed the dangerous period after stumbling and stumbling, and survived with a small but strong body, and began to grow flesh little by little. Yes, Xiao Yifan couldn't help but take a lot of videos every time he watched the mouth bulging and sucking the pacifier.After fighting for several times, the doctor agreed to let him breastfeed once. The little guy’s stomach is still much weaker than that of ordinary newborns. He can only eat 10-15ml of milk every time, but he is a greedy cat, and the pacifier has been pulled out of his mouth. When he came out, his mouth was still wide open and he looked left and right, Xiao Yifan brought his own little hand to his mouth, and immediately grabbed his mouth, sucking the oily oil on his little hand, making the doctors laugh too No, the little guy lived in it for the longest time. He usually eats when he wakes up and sleeps after eating.

During the period, Gu Yifei also visited several times. Xiao Yifan knew about it, but he turned a blind eye and closed his eyes and said nothing more. After calming down, Xiao Yifan also figured it out a lot, and he was not without responsibility for causing the baby to be born prematurely. Yes, if I didn't make trouble that day, I wouldn't be like this.After rationally analyzing his relationship with Gu Yifei, Xiao Yifan still chose to separate. Before he could numb himself, Xu Chenxing was just Gu Yifei's past, but now he understands that Xu Chenxing is Gu Yifei's trouble.Gu Yifei couldn't get through it, and Xiao Yifan couldn't get through it now. Xiao Yifan never thought of himself as a perfectionist. He used to think that feelings were okay, but after he worked hard, he found that it couldn't. In the end, everyone was bloody hurt, why bother.

After starting to eat independently, the baby's physical condition improved day by day. After 80 days, the weight finally reached 2kg. Xiao Yifan also began to organize the house to welcome the baby back home.