you are the minutiae of the world

I live across from you, we meet each other every morning, you go to work in the hospital, I am at the intersection, I look at you from a distance, you never look back, you can’t see the indelible love in my eyes, the years are long, I don’t know what’s ahead, I just know Now, seeing you, I am very happy.

But you don't care about the name of an ordinary man who lives across from you, and you don't look back at me standing behind the sycamore tree downstairs when you drive, I know how to hide me in the crowd, how to make me unable to announce it The affection in my mouth is hidden under my eyes.

I am the same as most of the wage earners in this city, but I am not the same as them. I am a supporting role in your world who cannot have a name, and I am an undeniable pervert in my world.

You never know, I've known you for more than ten years.

You only need to have a neighbor who lives across the door in your memory, and that's enough.

Ten years ago, I just came to work in the city from the countryside. I didn’t have a tragic life experience. I was just born in a rural family that had too many children but was unable to raise them. I lived in the mountains in my childhood, and I was carefree. After school, my grades were not satisfactory. Township schools could not provide me with a good education. People in the upper class, a poor family and my parents' short-sightedness are not enough to educate me to be a scholar, but unfortunately, I don't have such a vision either. I dropped out of school at the age of 16. This piece of clothing was led by several people from the same village into the bustling metropolis.

When I was young, I was full of longing for the bustling city on TV, but also full of fear. I didn't know if my education from junior high school would allow me to gain a foothold in this city. I just came here with a nervous mood to make a living.

Of course, I used to look forward to returning home in good clothes, so that my elderly and illiterate parents could also enjoy being envied by others, but the reality has never been good.

Every year, so many rural areas import labor to the city, that is, young and penniless labor like me. Many of us do not have the luck in TV dramas. Simple and beautiful soul.

There is only one who sweeps the snow in front of his own house, and does not care about the frost on others' roofs.

At the age of 16, what can a rural bumpkin who has not graduated from junior high school do in the city?I just learned that underage is considered child labor, and child labor basically can’t find any jobs. Factories dare not ask for it, and retail investors dare not accept it. After wandering around for a week, I have no money to go back, and the villages that brought me all went to work. Yes, their salaries have to be sent to their wives and children. I don’t have the shame to rely on others to support them, but I can’t go hungry. Later, I borrowed money to make a false certificate. After many days of searching, I finally arrived at a small family. The restaurant back kitchen as a handyman.

The work in the back kitchen is hard work, especially the handyman. I do everything, such as cleaning the floor, picking vegetables and urging vegetables. Not necessarily rest.

It was really tiring during that time, but I was really happy when I got my first month's salary. It was that kind of unbelievable joy. It was the first time I saw so much money since I was a child. Two thousand five, cash from the boss , held in hand, a small stack.

I sent half of it to my home, and there are still more than 1000 left over. This amount of money may be worth two tables at our restaurant, but it is too much for me. I asked the boss for a vacation. I'm going to buy a mobile phone, and the people who work around me have this boxy little machine, and I've been envious of it for a long time.They are sold on the two streets in front of the restaurant, both cheap and expensive.

When I got there, I realized that my more than 1000 yuan was like fart, and it might not make a sound when it collapsed.

How did I feel at that time? I felt that the world was very unfair. I worked hard for a month, but I couldn't even afford the best model in a copycat phone. At most, I could buy one of its screens.

I have the low self-esteem and anxiety of a countryman. Even if I come to a shopping mall full of advertisements and signs, I only dare to carefully listen to the salesperson's explanation behind other customers. Here, both the salesperson and the customer wear clothes. I have dirty gray long sleeves, black trousers with frayed edges, and the sneakers on my feet were bought at a roadside stall at 25. I wear more than one every day. month.

My hair is greasy, and my face is gray. After all, the kitchen is hard work, so there will inevitably be oily stains. When I was in the village, I couldn’t think of washing my hair, let alone working here. I’m as tired as a dog every day. That empty.

But at this moment, I can't wait to go back and get a basin of water to wash my hair immediately. As I thought about it, a young woman with dark red lipstick by the counter rolled her eyes and said to me sarcastically, "Don't buy it if you can't afford it." Wandering around in front of me, looking at you like a beggar, will affect my business."

I blushed and felt that after she finished speaking, everyone around me was looking at me. It was an embarrassing, frightening, and invisible strangeness. I can still recall it until now. At a loss.

For a moment, I felt that my feet weighed a thousand catties, and suddenly I couldn't move. I didn't dare to look at her, my eyes were fixed on a certain place, and I wanted to leave, but it was like I didn't know the way. .

If when I first came to this bustling city, I looked at the towering buildings, and I only had infinite emotion and yearning in my heart, then now, when I enter a similar building, I only have boundless inferiority complex and fear.

This is the first time I met him. He came to repair the mobile phone. He happened to be at the opposite counter. He also heard what the salesman said. When I didn't know what to do, he turned around with a gentle and young face. There was a trace of anger: "Does this mall belong to your family? You can't even stand anywhere? Besides, he is the customer only if he comes in."

The salesperson opened her mouth and wanted to argue, but her sleeves were tugged by the colleague next to her. The contemptuous salesperson rolled her eyes and turned to the other side.

He glanced at me, sent me a comforting smile, then picked up the repaired phone, turned and left.

I didn't realize it until he walked to the door of the shopping mall. At this moment, my strange feeling just now seemed to be thrown out of my mind. I looked at his back that was about to disappear, and ran wildly.

I followed him carefully, far away, I was afraid that he would find out, but I was also afraid of losing him, so I stared at the back of the crowd.I saw him enter the subway, so I followed in a hurry. I have never taken the subway, but because I just stared at him, I somehow learned to insert coins, take cards, swipe cards to enter the station, and queue to enter. In the carriage, I learned to look at the back of his head exposed in the crowd in the crowded carriage.

Not far away, I followed him to get out of the car, and I saw him enter the school.

It turned out that he was a college student.

My courage finally ran out when I saw this magnificent university. I stood at the wide school gate and watched men and women as young as me coming and going, one person, two people, or a group of people, walking Get in, get out.The strangeness, panic and low self-esteem disappeared and wrapped me up again. I took two steps, and I stood under the shadow of the side. Looking at the school plaque with a solemn mood.

This is a medical university, and the bold and rigorous font on the wall makes people who look at it seem to have a bit of aura of helping the world and saving people.

At that moment, I suddenly felt that I was breathing a little faster.

The diploma I didn't graduate from junior high school can't describe how wonderful I am. I just think that the clean boy is a good match for this university.

He must be a super good doctor in the future, able to save people, and save many, many people.

I don’t remember how long I stood there, but I was actually very embarrassed at the end, because I came in a hurry, and I almost couldn’t find my way back after dark. I had to go to the bus stop next to the school and look for I knew the place names, but I overlooked that there are many similar place names in this frighteningly large city.

I sat on the bus to collect the car, but I couldn't find a place to go back to the hotel.

Fortunately, the neon lights all night in this strange city can still bring some warmth to the homeless. It is late at night, and there are still cars on the road, but there are few pedestrians.

I have to go to work tomorrow, I can't waste time in this strange street, I'm anxious and at a loss.

At this time the taxi stopped in front of me.

The driver asked me where to go.

My fellow villager always said that we should try not to take a taxi when we go out. It is too expensive, and it can cost hundreds of dollars at a time. People like us can’t afford it.

But I looked at this small car, which is said to cost hundreds of dollars per ride, and thought, do I always take this kind of car? One day, I can also become a glamorous person in this city, not a person in the same village. People like us.

However, the reality is that I paid more than 200 yuan for the fare and returned to the hotel dormitory exhausted. I was so distressed that I almost didn't sleep well.

I resigned from the restaurant after the second month, because the boss said that the benefits were not good, and he gave me 500 yuan less in the second month. At this time, I have more confidence than when I first came.After resigning, I have to find a new job, otherwise I will become a homeless man who can't catch the next meal in a short time.

But at that time, I was still at a loss. I was under [-], and I was applying for a job with a fake certificate.

Unknowingly, I wandered to his university, squatted under the shade of a tree for a while, got up when my stomach was growling, and continued to look for work.

I found a job, and a small restaurant next to the school is recruiting workers. They do everything from cleaning to the kitchen, but the boss has a good temper. Near, is a gentle place.

The author has something to say:

I’ve been busy recently. In order to ensure the quality, I’ll update it every other day. After all, it’s a collection of short stories. It’s the same when it’s finished. .