Tang Seng is a cook

Master Taiyi ignored Avalokitesvara, supported his waist, but loudly ouched and walked over, Nezha pursed his mouth, and slowly came to help his master.

Master Taiyi stroked his beard contentedly, and sat down like an old man under the service of his disciples. He squinted at Guanyin with a complacent face, with "disciple" written on his left cheek and "filial piety" written on his right cheek.

It's clearly stinky to show off.

Guanyin snorted coldly and ignored him at all. Speaking of apprentices, he has four of them!There may be more in the future!Does he have Taiyi?

The Bodhisattva tidied up his clothes, walked over slowly, took out a bottle of elixir, which he got from Tang Monk at the beginning, touched Nezha's little bun, and said very lovingly: "Nezha, you haven't come for a long time, uncle sent you A meeting gift! If you want any elixir in the future, tell Uncle, and Uncle will get it for you. Don’t poke your master’s broken alchemy furnace. His broken furnace, when we were in school, exploded 99 times a hundred times, and there was another It didn't blow up because he forgot to light it!"

Guanyin secretly said bitterly, I will give away one, and the old miscellaneous hair will have to return four later!

Nezha, on the other hand, is not impolite, and doesn't listen to the Bodhisattva's nagging. When he heard that there was a meeting ceremony, he bent down and bowed, and brought the elixir. After a closer look, it read "Purple Mist Thunder Gai Di Pill", What the hell is this?

Nezha looked back at his master, his master was suffering from back pain, and he was beating him with his hands. When he saw him looking over, he didn't look at it carefully, and said casually, "It's not a valuable thing, take it and play with it!"

Means it can be eaten?Nezha, who was so hungry and green-eyed, opened the lid with a click, threw a piece into his mouth, and swallowed it!

It was only then that Guanyin and Master Taiyi came to their senses, this idiot really ate it up!Qiqi came up to see what was written on the bottle.

Dumbfounded after watching this, Qi Qi took a step back and moved away from Nezha.

Nezha himself did not change much, but at this time the sky above the Zizhu Forest was suddenly covered with thunderclouds and the mist was clear. Nezha and the four disciples of Bodhisattva were all surprised and looked up. The Zizhu Forest has been shining brightly for thousands of years, and this is the first day when thunder Woolen cloth!

Which Leigong and Dianmu are so courageous?Awesome!

Mu Zha and Da Hei were squatting by the stove to help the dragon girl. At this time, they muttered to themselves: "Probably just passing by? Why are you thundering here?" Are you afraid that his master will be angry?

As he said this, the first purple thunder fell straight down, with a click, without even turning a corner, it hit Nezha!

The third prince Ouba was concentrating on looking at the sky in a daze, when suddenly he was struck straight, his whole body was burnt black, his hair exploded, he opened his mouth, "poof", and spit out a mouthful of black ashes.

Before the three little black men could cry, the other eight purple thunderbolts struck down in unison, fast, accurate and fierce.

Mu Zha wanted to come over, but was stopped by Guanyin and Taiyi together. This thing is not dangerous.

The Nine Thunders ended, the robbery clouds quickly dispersed, and the purple mist disappeared. Everyone took a closer look. Fortunately, Nezha was still standing upright.

None of the crowd dared to make a sound, only to see Nezha opened his eyes, blinked, spit out a mouthful of black ash, and the next second, he burst into tears!

Well, only the whites of the eyes can see some color, I probably didn't come and shut up when the thunder struck, even the teeth are black now!

And the originally smooth and tidy little bun has already been broken up by Lei, and it is standing curled and fluffy on the top of the third prince's head.

At the moment when his apprentice was crying, Master Taiyi jumped up, pointed at Guanyin and shouted: "Look at what you did! What did you feed him again! Are you trying to poison me again?" My dear apprentice!" It's better to act first, lest the apprentice get angry later and pull his beard.

The Bodhisattva inevitably felt guilty, but he still squinted at Taiyi: "Obviously your apprentice ate it yourself, okay? Besides, you are blind. You don't know Ziwu Wan, have you ever eaten it?"

Taiyi suddenly stopped, as if he had been strangled by the neck, he suddenly stopped speaking.

Ziwu Thunderbolt Gaidi Pills, proudly produced by Master Uncle Taishang Laojun, are small pills specially made for children to experience and feel the habit of heavenly thunder. Take one, and you can experience nine heavenly thunders.

It's just that, the elixir carefully made by their master uncle has a good purpose, but the little kids ate it once, and then used it as a prank in the past, and specially secretly fed it while people were not prepared. In the next second, no matter in Wherever you go, you can feel the baptism of the nine weakened versions of Tianlei.

Taking a bath, walking, doing homework, practicing martial arts, and even secretly going on a date with the sweetheart, just eating a piece of sweet cake handed over by the sweetheart, bubbling with happiness, and then being struck by lightning!Great loss of image!

When they were young, they were naughty to the limit, and there was no one around them who failed to get tricked. Even the three masters and uncles suffered cruelly.

Master Taiyi himself, the inventor of the prank, ended up eating these meatballs a lot.

Taiyi really coughed a few times uncomfortably, seeing that Nezha was still playing the flute, he had no choice but to arch his mouth at Mu Zha, winking and telling Mu Zha to coax his brother.

Mu Zha had no choice but to bring over a bowl of white rice, put a few pieces of braised fish on top, and poured a little fish soup, which was delicious. He squatted down and shook Nezha's nose: "Do you want to eat?"

Nezha, who was so hungry that his eyes turned green, stopped crying immediately. He drooled with his mouth open, and his mouth was covered with black ashes. He didn't dare to swallow it. .”

Mu Zha felt sorry for his younger brother, but couldn't help but want to laugh, his face was so contorted, he turned his head and looked at Master for help, the Bodhisattva looked at his disciple's face, took out the jade bottle, and flicked it. He gave Nezha a small drop of nectar.

Nezha has a body of grass and trees. After receiving the Bodhisattva's nectar, he immediately recovered his clean body, but the big guy looked at him, "It seems to have grown taller? Why are you still thin?"

Daoist Taiyi confronted his disciples every day, Nezha jumped an inch high, how could he not notice, so he spoke first.

The Bodhisattva sneered and said, "I don't know how much you gave Nezha. He can't absorb it all. It is stored in his blood. How can he not be fat? My nectar is a herbal elixir. Drop it down and help him get rid of the power of the medicine in his body." If you absorb it, you will naturally grow taller!" After the medicine is absorbed, it is natural to lose weight.

Daoist Taiyi smacked his lips and stared at Guanyin's jade bottle, looking very malicious.

The Bodhisattva was overjoyed, and said, "You think this nectar is useful? It's for stimulating your own potential. If you want Nezha to encourage the seedlings to grow, just feed him. I'm not stingy!"

Master Taiyi listened, his face was full of disappointment, and he remained silent.

Nezha was very curious about his own changes. When he squeezed his little hands, he felt a lot more dexterous. When he stood next to his brother, he could hug his thigh and grab his belt. Now he can try to grab the jade pendant on his chest, but he also has this. One piece, nothing rare.

Nezha gave up on his brother and walked up to his master. His master was slightly shorter than his brother, so Nezha reached out on tiptoe to grab it!

"Oh, my little ancestor let go of your hands, it hurts!" But it turned out that Master's beard was caught!

Seeing his younger brother being mischievous, Mu Zha quickly called him: "Eat, brother!"

Nezha loosened Master's beard, lowered his head and patted his belly, and when it was deflated, he looked at Master with his eyes, Taiyi rubbed his chin, and said, "Eat, eat, Master is hungry too."

So two tables were divided, Guanyin and Taiyi sat in the gazebo and ate and talked, and a few younger ones gathered around the table freely outside, so as not to be restrained. Only Zhao Wu, who was comforted by the dragon girl for a long time, did Dare to emerge from the ground and stretch out to bask in the sun.

The thunder just now frightened him terribly. For Zhao Wu, thunder was as terrifying as the third prince Nezha, and they were tied for the top of the list!

Look, the third prince is looking over gloomyly again!Zhao Wu immediately froze and didn't dare to move!

In the gazebo, two elders were chatting, Guanyin said: "Nezha looks more lively now, I dare to pull your beard."

Taiyi took a bean and ate it, and sighed: "The problem with him is not that he is cowardly, he is also courageous!" Dare to kill a dragon, which child can be more courageous than him?

Avalokitesvara asked: "Then after all these years, have you researched it to understand it? Can it get better?" After Nezha had a lotus root body, it didn't grow any longer, and it almost became Taiyi's heart disease.

Taiyi whispered: "Don't tell me, with this incident, I really found a way!"

As he said that, he mysteriously took out a piece of jade and handed it to Guanyin. Guanyin frowned, took it, swept away his consciousness, and read in a low voice: "Child psychology, children's behavior psychology, analysis of children's mania and treatment, what is depression…”

He had only read a few books before he was booed by Taiyi in a low voice: "Shut up, just read it, what are you talking about!"

Avalokitesvara said: "This word is short of arms and legs, don't I recognize it! What kind of book is this? Where did you come from? Can you understand it?"

Master Taiyi took the jade and put it close to his body. He glanced at his apprentice and saw that Nezha was obediently eating with his rice bowl. Worry about Nezha, you have discovered this kid for so many years, and it is indeed not right. I also asked for the elixir, set up the formation, and brought him the magic talisman, the heart-cleaning mantra, the heart-cleansing technique...what can I do? I've tried everything. But you know, I can save my life, but I can't cure my disease. My poor little apprentice is very sick!"

He is so old that he is about to become a demon, and if this heart disease is not cured, Nezha will not only make no progress in his cultivation, but even his life is in danger.

But he really didn't know how to do this. He begged God three times a day, but it didn't work. He hated him so much that he even wanted to use it to make Nezha lose his memory!

Taiyi took a sip of his wine, leaned over and said in a low voice: "A while ago, my teacher didn't follow them to pick that ~ candidate, I also followed, to see if I can find opportunities for my apprentice..."

When Guanyin heard this, his hands trembled, he grabbed Taiyi's arm, and whispered urgently: "You are trying to die!"

Taiyi burst into tears: "I don't want to die! My apprentice has to die!" He said bitterly: "Do you know how many times this kid has tried to die for so many years! Do you think he is naughty? Go and stab my alchemy furnace! Do you think he ate the fruit and elixir of unknown origin out of curiosity! This child suffers every day of his life!"

Guanyin was also discouraged after hearing this, but she still said: "But you don't know how important this matter is, but if there is another mistake, the matter fails, and everyone blames you, what will you do?" ? You are dead, and your apprentice will not survive a day!"

Taiyi wiped away his tears, and said with a smile: "I didn't do anything else, but when everyone was investigating that person's reincarnation experience, I secretly searched for some information in various time and space." He patted his chest where the jade stone was in relief. position, said with emotion: "Finally call me here," Taiyi made a "Zhuang" mouth shape and said, "I found these things in this place!"

The Bodhisattva wondered: "The people there can still cure heart diseases and demons?"

Taiyi took a sip of his wine and said with a smile: "Cure, it's cured! There are many children who have experienced the same experience as Nezha, who have had any kind of Piti Ai Sidi, and there are methods and medicines that can cure them. "

Hearing this, the Bodhisattva breathed a sigh of relief, and said, "Then you got the medicine!"

Taiyi shook his head, sighed, and said: "It's not that easy, I can photocopy some books to read, it's already a quick hand, if I bring things back, do you think you can see me again today?"

The Bodhisattva squinted his eyes and looked at him: "Brother, just tell me, what's the matter with you looking for me today." If it's because of Nezha's arm, before he comes back, this old guy will have to run away as soon as he wakes up!

Taiyi was heartbroken: "I want him to help Nezha!"

With a bang, the children looked back and saw that it was the Bodhisattva's wine glass, which fell to the ground and shattered!

After that day, the children only saw Guanyin's pale face, and they were sent away from a distance. Even Zhao Wu was put in a flower pot and asked Mu Zha to take him away.

The two seniors sat in the pavilion on the back mountain, lowered their heads, and discussed for a long time until Nezha lay in his brother's arms and fell asleep restlessly. He took over his apprentice and rode back on a crane.

Guanyin sat alone in the gazebo for a long time, and the apprentices didn't dare to disturb them, so they dispersed and went to perform their duties. Only Zhao Wu, who had not yet transformed, was the most leisurely at this time, but he was a little nervous. Not daring to go back to the back mountain to stay with the master, he grabbed Dahei's arm and asked him to take him to the mountain gate and guard the gate.

Zhuang Fan didn't know that the god in his eyes was also thinking about asking him to do something, and was leading his disciples to the west with one heart and one mind. The real Taiyi didn't know whether he was persuaded by Guanyin, or he had other plans, or he didn't dare to go west. On the road, he was an enemy blocking the way, but he never came to Zhuang Fan.

After driving for five or six days, in Zhuang Fan's mind, they should have crossed the border equivalent to Tibet, and suddenly saw a high mountain in front of them. It was deep winter, and the ice and snow were thick, and the entire mountain was sealed off. Bajie He said, "Master, this is Mount Futu!"

Zhuang Fan knew that this was the place of Zen Master Wuchao, because this person clearly knew Wukong, but he didn't know it. In the end, he wrote a poem to sarcastically ridicule the Great Sage. Zhuang Fan had a deep impression of him, but he didn't feel good. Nothing but disgust.

Zhuang Fan asked: "Should we crawl over or go around?" He didn't want to deal with people who hide their heads and show their tails!

The monkey looked at it, and saw that the mountain covered a large area and was blocking the road. It would take more than a month to go around, but at this time it was snowy and icy, and the mountain road was difficult to walk. It was more dangerous to climb up, so he hesitated for a while.

Bajie said: "Master, there is a Zen Master Wuchao here, who advised me to practice with him before, this man has a big nest, and he lives in it on weekdays, why don't I go look for him and ask the way? "

Zhuang Fan didn't want to meet this person at first, but they were in a hurry at this time, and it happened that winter was here, so they had no choice but to make a deal with him, so he took out a heart sutra written by a Bodhisattva and handed it to Bajie , said: "Then go, this scripture is a gift from Guanyin Bodhisattva, and Bajie will give it to that Zen master as a thank you for your trouble."

Bajie answered yes, took the scriptures, flew away with a chubby little white cloud on his body, and wobbled away.

Seeing that Zhuang Fan was worried, he frowned, and couldn't help but said to the monkey: "Your third junior brother won't fall, will he?"

The monkey shook his head and said: "Master, you are worrying too much. What Bajie learned is the 36 changes of Tiangang, which is more powerful than my 72 changes of Disha. This small technique of Tengyun is not a problem, how could it fall? .”

Zhuang Fan thought it was the same, and then he felt a little relieved, and asked Wukong to collect the snow sledge, and called Caramel Cake to carry some light luggage, and prepared to cross the mountain.

Not long after, I saw Bajie leading a Zen master, floating on the clouds, saw Zhuang Fan and said: "I have seen the holy monk!" and said, "I have read the Duoxin Sutra for many years, and today I am blessed by the holy monk." , To be able to get a Bodhisattva handwriting! What a blessing!"

He bowed down again, Zhuang Fan didn't want to talk to him, but said directly: "My master and apprentice are in a hurry to go west. I don't know if Zen master has a familiar path to cross the mountain?"

The Zen master said again: "The holy monk is so sincere in seeking scriptures, I think that although the journey is far away, Daleiyin Temple will finally arrive!"

Zhuang Fan was not willing to waste time with him, and put on a disappointed face, "Since Zen master has no way out, then I will take my leave, and Zen master just put away the handwritten scripture of the Bodhisattva!"

After hearing this, Zen Master Wuchao was very embarrassed, and hurriedly said: "Yes, yes, please come with me, holy monk!"

So I stopped talking, turned around and went up the mountain, and there was indeed a path where the ice and snow melted, covered with exotic flowers and plants, with fragrant fruits, elk and apes, green luan and colorful phoenix, and Zhuang Fan didn’t even look at it during the haunting period. Concentrating on walking forward, the Zen master wanted to slow down two steps, chat with the holy monk about the scenery, and gossip, Zhuang Fan interrupted very rudely: "The poor monk is busy on his way, so I'm rude!"

Zen Master Wuchao bumped against the wall a few times, made his nose feel ashamed, felt bored, and finally calmed down, no longer trying to talk to him.

Not long after, he came out of Mount Futu, and outside the mountain was a world of ice and snow. Zhuang Fan led his two apprentices and hurriedly bid farewell to Zen Master Wuchao. The three sat down, flicked the reins, and galloped away.

Zen Master Wuchao saw that the person had disappeared, so he transformed himself, stepped on the lotus platform, jumped into the air, and reunited with his disciples, but it was not Guanyin and Muzha, or who?

The Bodhisattva frowned, and said in surprise, "This Tang Yudi Tang Sanzang, did he eat firecrackers today? Why is his attitude and words so aggressive?"

Mu Zha said, "But did you offend Master?"

Guanyin said: "That's not true, but I thought they had been traveling in the ice and snow for almost two months, and I wanted to ask them to come to Futu Mountain to see the scenery and have a rest, but he didn't take my word for it. It was different when I saw it a few days ago.”

Mu Zha laughed and said, "I think it's because the master dressed up too casually just now, making people like the holy monk jealous when they are in a hurry?"

The Bodhisattva smacked his lips, touched the scriptures in his sleeves and returned them to his hands, and led his disciples back to the Purple Bamboo Forest.

Zhuang Fan didn't know that Zen Master Wuchao was transformed from a Bodhisattva, because it was not written in the original book, and he was sitting steadily, holding a small notebook and a charcoal pencil, recalling all the things he met along the westbound road. Fairy, but for some reason, Zhuang Fan felt that his memory of Journey to the West, which he had memorized backwards, gradually became blurred.

In the end, Zhuang Fan's heart was broken, and he remembered as much as he had. If it's a big deal, he'll see it later: if he doesn't meet a goblin, he's lucky. If he does, he'll go directly to the goblin boss and kill one by one!

Anyway, he has his big apprentice!

The three masters and apprentices continued on their way. The weather gradually warmed up. The ice and snow melted at noon during the day, and it was freezing cold at night. It was more difficult than the previous days. Ao Wuwang even slept in Zhuang Fan's arms, and he hadn't woken up for a long time. For this reason, he specially asked Wukong to go to the Purple Bamboo Forest, and asked the dragon girl to see if the second apprentice's state was correct. is not right.

The dragon girl sent back a letter, saying that it’s okay, but Ao Wu forgot that this is about to enter the next growth period. After waking up this time, Ao Yu will grow a little longer, and the human form will also become bigger, but it will not When it comes to winter again, I will fall asleep every day.

After hearing Wukong's message, Zhuang Fan felt relieved, and let Ao Yu go to sleep, and stopped trying to feed him.

Poor master, he was worried all day long that his apprentice would starve to death if he didn't eat or drink.

Waking up early that morning, the road was finally clear of ice and snow. The sledge had been used for a whole winter, and there were many bumps on its body. The monkey took good care of it, cleaned it up, put it away, and prepared it for the next winter.

Since then, with the three masters and apprentices, Wukong has really become a walker, and Bajie can only run forward by himself. Only Zhuang Fan and caramel cake can ride, but it is not as fast as sliding on snow. Gradually slowed down.

On this day, I finally saw another mountain range, which was unusual. Wukong went to check it out, and it was Huangfengling, eight hundred miles away.

The author has something to say: Is there a small theater?

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PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

When baby Nezha is born, his father will kill him

Later, the arm was cut off, the intestines were gouged out and the bones were removed, and he was returned to his parents.

His master revived him

But his father still refused to forgive him

No matter what you think, it's not something a normal baby can bear.

I changed the copywriting today, at this moment, I'm going to spoil it!

Changed and changed, there is still a simplified version on the text, and a detailed version, I don’t know if anyone has seen it

Think about it, put it here

Count as private goods for everyone:

After traveling westward, the bosses finished their chatter and found that they had been fooled by the Dao of Heaven!

A total of 23 years in the year of Zhenguan

Tang Seng Zhenguan set off in the 13th year

After 14 years of success

Revolving Datang

You tell me what year was that?Who greeted Tang Sanzang?

What the hell is the 27th year of Zhenguan?Tang Taizong is he really a ghost?

If the Journey to the West is not successful, the way of heaven has a reason not to lower merits

This is very different from "I went to work on time but you tampered with the work record, and then secretly deducted salary and bonus"! ! ! ! ? ? ? ?

This is great, Buddhism, Taoism, heaven, hell, and all the creatures in the mortal world, one counts as one, and they could have succeeded through this journey to the West, and the heavens have made great merit, and everyone has gained a little bit of glory, but now they are all deducted up!

The aura of the spirits of the three realms has been consumed all the time, so if you miss this opportunity, let's all suffer together!

The bosses were so angry that they finally got together to study

wipe!It turns out that Tang Seng's personality is one-sided, and the four masters and apprentices insisted on getting together on the way to learn the scriptures, and the nine-nine-eight-one difficulty also hindered the thief tm!

what to do?Is there any way to remedy it! ! ! ? ? ?

The bosses make the final decision, and share the same hatred: change to Tang Seng!Carrying the way of heaven to change the secrets of heaven, sneaking and changing people to travel to the West!

Who dares to get in the way, beat his mother!Anyone who dares to tell the truth will beat his mother!

Thus, the modern young man who loves flesh and joy, travels through Journey to the West sadly, and becomes Tang Sanzang, the reincarnation of the ten good men

The requirements of the bosses are: as long as Journey to the West succeeds quickly, no matter what you do! ?eat meat?Is that a problem?

Others, they don't know anything wow, they haven't done anything wow~~~

What are you talking about?The wind is too strong, I can't hear you~~~

Tiandao smiled speculatively: Hehe~~~

In fact, this article can also be called:

Tripitaka of Journey to the West is not vegetarian

Master is hungry, big brothers can figure it out

Journey to the West: Wrong Wearing Tang Monk Loves Wrong Meat

Daddy's Journey to the West Love History

The new savior of the big guys

and many more