BE Crazy Demon Survival System

For Yuning, the word first love comes hastily and carelessly.

Love is like an acute high fever. When it occurs, it is an endless dizziness, and all senses are thrown into the clouds.But this kind of disease does not even need medicine, and the high fever disappears after a certain night.

Yuning told Nan Ke everything she knew and thought. He is the friend who understands him the most and the relative who cares for him the most.They watch movies together, ride bikes together, dive together, do whatever they can in summer.The happiness he gained was more than what he had accumulated in the previous ten years.

For the first time, Yuning even had the idea of ​​wanting to be with this person for the rest of his life.

After the summer vacation ended, it rained continuously for days in Nice.After the rain stopped, Yu Ning rode his bike to the coffee shop. He found a book in the library that Nan Ke had been wanting to read but couldn't find, and excitedly pushed open the door of the shop.

Nan Ke was not there.Yuning calculated his roster, logically speaking, today's Nan Ke should be here for the morning shift.

Could it be that he is sick?Yuning was a little flustered, and hurriedly asked the store manager, but the result made him even more flustered.

"He didn't come the day before yesterday. He just called and said that he might take a long vacation."

Yuning took out the phone that was just repaired yesterday and called Nan Ke, but there was only a cold notification sound on the phone - the number you dialed is not in the service area.He had no choice but to rush to his apartment by bicycle, and knocked on the door for a long time, but there was still no response from inside.

The heartbeat is getting denser and denser, just like the heavy rain a few days ago.

He regretted a little, his obsession was too timid, except for the coffee shop and the apartment, he didn't have any other information about Nan Ke.The anxiety in his heart made him anxious, and for many days, he waited for him at Nan Ke's apartment, just sitting at the door, not going anywhere.

In the end, what he was waiting for was not Nan Ke, but the owner of the apartment.Holding a bunch of jingling keys, he opened the familiar door.

"Are you Nan's friend?"

Yuning nodded, "Where did he go, doesn't he live here?"

"That's right, he quit the house, and there will be new tenants here soon." The landlord answered him kindly.

"Then, where did he go, do you know?"

The landlord shook his head, "Sorry, I don't know, he left in a hurry."

Yuning left the apartment and came to the University of Nice by bike. He only wanted to find Nan Ke's whereabouts, and he didn't even care about his social fear, so he mustered up the courage to search the entire college.Finally, a professor told him that Nan Ke had suspended his studies and returned to China.

On the way home, Yu Ning couldn't figure it out.He didn't know why everything happened so suddenly, why Nan Ke left without saying goodbye.

A feeling of abandonment and loss gradually surged up, like a tide that would never recede, making him feel suffocated.

When I got home, my adoptive parents were packing up, and saw Yuning asking, "Where have you been? Go upstairs and pack up your things."

Yuning was a little confused, "Why?"

The adoptive mother came over and patted his head, "I told you last time, your father will be transferred from Nice to Paris, and we will also move. You have been absent-minded recently."

Yuning frowned, "When are you leaving?"

"This weekend," my adoptive mother said with a smile, "you're going to love Paris."

He didn't want to leave, and he didn't want to leave this place at all. If it was possible, if there would be no new tenants in that small apartment, he even wanted to rent it and waited for Nanke to come back to him.

Until the day of moving, he did not receive any news from Nan Ke.This person just disappeared into the world that was left of him without mercy.

Yuning sat in the car, looking at the scenery of Nice silently along the way, as if it was the same as when he first arrived, nothing has changed, the only difference is that, now, it seems that they all hang out with Nanke passed imprint.

He took the little poem out of his pocket.

[Those who hesitate should be executed]

In my heart, I read it silently for the last time, and then tore up the piece of paper.

Completed the ritual of this execution.

He changed his mobile phone number, changed his Chinese name that he had always wanted to keep, abandoned those useless cowardice and shrinking, and became a brand new person.He suddenly discovered that communication, which he once thought was so difficult, is actually much simpler, as long as you don't give your heart.

When he was in college, Yu Ning was already well-known. The unique temperament brought by his Asian face made him the one who could never be ignored in the crowd. The youthful freshness was gradually replaced by the gloom eroded from his bones. This kind of temperament has fatal attraction.

What's even more ironic is that now, regardless of whether he is a man or a woman, as long as he shows his affection, he is willing to get close to him.The objects of communication are changed one after another, but Yu Ning is becoming more and more dissatisfied, the hole in her heart can almost swallow everything.

What he wants is not much, as long as there is that one person who can make him love to death, it is enough that he can never think of the escapee again.

But there was none.

I originally thought that that person would die in my heart for the rest of my life, and that face that once gave me the best memory just rotted quietly in my mind until I couldn’t remember any more. drop.But the world is unpredictable, Nan Ke, who disappeared for seven years, unexpectedly reappeared.

Their meeting seems to never be able to get rid of the embarrassing situation, Yuning looked at the mess in the hotel and couldn't help laughing.

But he is no longer the ignorant and cramped child in the past, and now he doesn't care what Nan Ke thinks of him.Innocent or dirty, noble or dirty, it doesn't matter.

He even felt that the more frivolous the better, it would be best if he could touch Nanke's bottom line and let him completely forget the past Yu Ning who was so innocent that even he himself didn't want to remember.

As he expected, Nan Ke's bottom line was easily trampled by him, especially when he talked about his chaotic private life.Seeing his angry expression for the first time, Yu Ning actually felt genuinely happy.

"Mr. Reporter, why are you angry?"

He really wanted to know why Nan Ke was angry, did he feel contemptuous?

"I was abandoned by you without telling me, and I am still smiling."

Hearing the words "farewell without saying goodbye", Nan Ke's hands trembled.Yu Ning just thought it was ridiculous, pushed him away and stood up, and issued a eviction order in French, "That's all for today's interview, I'm tired, I need to rest."

"Yu Ning..."

Hearing his former name read out of his mouth, Yu Ning's heart suddenly ached. He hated this feeling, turned his face coldly, and said slowly in Chinese, "Don't you understand? I let you roll."

He didn't need to explain, because it seemed that as long as Nan Ke said the reason for leaving without saying goodbye, the bond between him and this person for so many years would be released immediately.He would rather be so painfully entangled than to be perfunctorily erased by an explanation that is seven years late.

After Nan Ke left, the sluggish nerves finally started to function. Yu Ning was chilled all over, poured himself a full glass of whiskey, poured it directly into his body, and sat on the ground blankly, looking at Huangpu outside the window Jiang, the sourness in his heart was about to overflow.

It turned out that the high fever hadn't subsided at all, it was just lurking insidiously, waiting for an opportunity to act.

Nan Ke didn't know how he got out of the hotel, he was kicked out by him in such a dazed way, got into a car, and returned to the magazine office, his eyes were sore all the way, blown by the wind. Almost in tears.

He has a lot to explain to Yuning.

For example, he really didn't leave without saying goodbye. After he learned that his father had been diagnosed with stomach cancer, he called him immediately, but he couldn't get through. The situation was urgent, so he flew back to China that day.For several months, as the only family member, he had been taking care of his father in the hospital. He couldn't afford to hire a nurse, and he couldn't close his eyes almost all night. This sudden serious illness smashed all the good things to pieces.

Three months later, he was fully dressed and silently sent off his emaciated father at a lonely funeral.

Nan Ke, who was alone, returned to Nice. He had imagined many possibilities. He knew that Yuning would be very angry and sad. He almost thought of all the flattering words that he might need, even though he knew that he was unable to stay in the present. Nice, by Yuning's side, but even so, he also wants to find him, apologize to him, and hope he won't just give up on himself.

All imaginable possibilities disappeared after learning the news that Yuning's family had moved out.

In just a few months, Nan Ke lost everything he could, and finally became a "qualified" adult.

The moment of reunion came too suddenly, and it was only in a trance that I realized that seven years had passed.

Yuning is no longer timid, and Nan Ke has no light.

Handing over the interview materials to the editor-in-chief, he took a novel signed by the author Nathan, sat on his narrow and messy desk, watched in silence, trying to understand Yuning in the past seven years from it.

The more you look down, the more hopeless you feel.Every word and every sentence, the interpretation of love is always negative and depressing, and Nan Ke feels breathless.

It wasn't what he wanted to bring him.

After closing the book, Nan Ke sat there blankly.

A metaphor in the book made him almost give up his confidence in regaining courage.

[The wrong first love is a stubborn wisdom tooth. It squeezes and grows crazily. It makes you feel unbearable pain for countless nights. When you finally pull it out, an empty blood hole is left forever. , which buried your ignorance and innocence. ]

What a wonderful comparison.

He couldn't help but think of the sentence Yu Ning said during the interview.

[Love is a bird of fright to me. ]

Perhaps in his heart, he is the one holding the bow and arrow, but he is not at all.Nan Ke couldn't help but smile wryly, maybe he is also a bird.

Like him, he was the same kind who had been in fear for seven years.

Nan Ke was wondering if it was meaningful for him to ask for forgiveness now, maybe in the past seven years, Yu Ning had already forgotten himself, or worse, only hatred remained.Maybe he already has a new love, maybe someone who is a hundred times better than himself, who has given him countless creative inspirations.

So going to him now, will it be just an interruption?

As soon as he closed his eyes, he could see Yuning's mocking smile, which made his pain invisible.

Nan Ke rejected the invitation from a female colleague twice. This time, she performed a task for her, making the invitation seem imperative. Nan Ke had no choice but to agree.

He saw Yuning at the dating place.

Nan Ke sometimes feels that God probably likes to joke with him, and maybe playing tricks on him is a very fulfilling life, and sometimes there are many coincidences, and nothing happens unexpectedly.

He was kissing a woman on the dance floor, but his bottomless eyes looked at him through the chaotic crowd, and there were meanings in his eyes that he couldn't understand.He only knows himself now, and he can't restrain his jealousy and anger.

In the end, he shot and forcibly took him away when he was drunk.Yuning almost picked up the worst words to say to him, but Nan Ke acted as if he didn't understand, and sent him back to the hotel as if he was a wooden man.

But the photo that fell out of his wallet completely collapsed the rationality he had built up repeatedly.

Yuning repeated his name over and over again, as if they had never been separated.Alcohol ignited the madness and desire that had been suppressed for seven years, and burned an entire barren forest to ashes.

When he woke up in the morning, Nan Ke stared blankly at Yu Ning's sleeping face, feeling extremely uncomfortable in his heart, and finally, under the urging of his boss, he had no choice but to leave the hotel.On the way, he received a call from his mother who had hardly fulfilled his responsibilities, urging him to participate in the blind date he had arranged.

Life is like an overwhelming net, weighing him down.

He finally went to the coffee shop he had met with, and the other party was well dressed, Nan Ke ordered a cup of latte for himself, and the girl smiled, "I thought most of you guys like to drink black coffee."

Nan Ke didn't speak, just smiled.His absent-mindedness was too obvious, no matter what the other party said, he couldn't get his response, and the frustration made the girl feel embarrassed.

"Do you think dating me is boring? A waste of time?"

Nan Ke took a deep breath, all he could think about was Yu Ning, "I'm sorry. My mother hasn't contacted me for a long time, and we almost don't know each other. In fact, I have someone I like, and I I have liked him for many years, I think we should not be able to communicate according to my mother's expectations."

As soon as Nan Ke finished speaking, the girl poured the uncooled coffee on him.

"Is it fun to play other people?"

Nan Ke stood up, "Sorry for taking up your time." After speaking, he left like this without even wiping his clothes.He has no place to go, he just wants to see Yuning, he still feels unwilling, and still has a lot to tell him, but he doesn't even have Yuning's contact information, so he can only call the hotel.

"Sorry, Mr. Nathan has already checked out."

"……OK, thanks."

The last ray of hope is gone.Thinking of that night, when he was drunk and clamored to see the Oriental Pearl Tower, Nan Ke really came to the Bund alone in a trance. The cold wind blew on his face and poured into his empty clothes. He looked at the muddy river , Thinking of the transparent blue sea of ​​Nice.

Never before have I wished I could turn back time.

"coincidence."

A familiar voice appeared, Nan Ke turned around suspiciously, and actually saw Yuning.

He was wearing a black windbreaker, and his hair was disheveled by the river wind.

"It's like this..." He approached, glanced at the messy Nan Ke, and leaned against the railing, "I don't drink coffee now."

Nan Ke didn't speak, but looked down at the gray ground.

"I hate coffee." Yuning stretched out his palm to shield himself from the cold wind, lit a cigarette, and took a puff.

The tone of this sentence brought Nanke back to the midsummer seven years ago.The boy who once claimed that he hated Xia Tian didn't seem to have changed.

In the gray smoke, his face that seemed to be smiling was not a smile.

"I hate you even more."

Hearing this sentence, he actually felt relieved, "Really? That's great."

The hate in his mouth may not be the meaning of hate at all.

Yuning held the cigarette between her slender fingers, walked in front of him, took out something from her windbreaker pocket, and stuffed it into Nan Ke's hand.

"This is the only thing I took from you, and I give it back to you now."

Nan Ke spread out his palm, it was a piece of paper folded squarely.To be precise, it was an old piece of paper that had been torn and glued together again, on which was my own handwriting, on which was written that strange poem.

[With you, there can only be love. ]

This was the clumsy trick he used to confess his love back then.

Nan Ke gritted his teeth, put the piece of paper into his trousers pocket, and said nothing.The bloody hole in my heart kept gushing out, and I couldn't hold it down, it hurt and sore.

It was Yu Ning who spoke first, "Do you still want to be a human in your next life?"

The topic changed too quickly, Nan Ke didn't understand what he wanted to express.

"I don't want to." Yuning answered himself, he took a puff of cigarette, and then exhaled a beautiful smoke ring, "People are so pitiful."

"Why do you say that?"

Yu Ning looked into Nan Ke's eyes, "The most pitiful thing about people is that they can never control who they like, and they have no right to choose and refuse."

I thought about liking others in the past and forgetting about you completely, as if I was blind and seeing a ghost, but I couldn't do it at all, everything was beyond my control.

Nan Ke stared into his eyes, finally took the cigarette from his hand, and put it to his lips.

"Then I still want to be a person in my next life." He breathed out the smoke as if sighing, "It's true that falling in love with you is out of control, but I am very willing, and I am willing in my next life."

Yu Ning was stunned for a moment, turned sideways and lay down on the railing and laughed, laughing and laughing, without making a sound.

After a long silence, Jiang Feng once again conveyed his voice to Nan Ke's ear.

"I'm writing a new book."

Nan Ke stubbed out the cigarette, "What name?"

"A dream."

Since you, I never dare to love someone so deeply, because I am so timid in my bones, afraid that it will be Nanke Yimeng again.

〔end〕

Back in Paris, Yuning shut himself in his room to write a book all day long, almost never going anywhere. The chaotic life in the past caused him to be harassed all the time, and then he simply threw his phone out of the window.

After staying up all day and night, the morning light came in through the window, making him extremely sleepy.

The doorbell rang suddenly, fearing that it was his fault, Yu Ning, who had just been lying on the bed, had no choice but to get up again, and lazily opened the door.

"Why are you..." Seeing Nan Ke standing outside the door dragging a suitcase, Yu Ning was stunned.

Nan Ke had a tired face, and when he saw him open the door, he showed a smile. In fact, his plane arrived in the early morning, but he was afraid of disturbing Yuning's rest, so he could only sit at the door of his house and wait until dawn before pressing the button. Ring the doorbell.

"May I come in and sit down?"

Yu Ning stepped aside, feeling embarrassed and puzzled, "You, how do you know where I live?"

"I've asked a lot of people. It's a circle. If I ask more questions, I'll find out." Nan Ke brought up his luggage, "Don't worry, I've booked a hotel, and I'll go over there later. I got an offer here, so I'm still looking for a house, I just came to take a look..."

Yuning interrupted him bluntly, cutting to the point, "Why did you come to Paris?"

Nan Ke didn't answer directly, he took out the returned paper from his pocket and handed it to Yuning, "I want to give it to you."

It's already like this, why do you want to... Yuning took the scratched piece of paper and was stunned.

The last line, is whitewashed.

"Can you fill in the last sentence for me?" Nan Ke smiled unreservedly, "If you want."